by Skyler Grant
A thick set of gates were up ahead. The pair of guards that stood before them wore ornate sets of heavy plate mail.
We approached and I made my pitch. “King Liam Ottani of Galea seeks an audience.”
The guards exchanged glances and the one on the left said, “No.”
I had to give it to them on brevity.
“I am certain that if you pass my presence along, that I will be seen. As royalty would be at my own castle.”
“No,” said the guard on the right.
Brevity and consistency.
“You’ll surely want to pass this on to a superior officer?”
“No.”
“I insist.”
“No.”
“Can you say anything besides no?”
“Yes.”
Great. They knew at least two words, even if they only seemed fond of the one.
“Did you break your social dice?” Ashley asked.
“They’re fine. They just aren’t biting.”
“Try sleeping with them.”
I was half-dead and I really wasn’t in the mood. Still, my seduction was higher than my persuasion.
“Do either of you happen to be girls? No offense, I mean, the plate mail just makes it hard to tell. Unless plate mail bikinis are a thing here, in which case you are clearly guys.”
“Actually, they are a thing here,” Ashley said.
“Seriously? I haven’t seen any and believe me, I’d notice,” I said.
“You’re not a girl. I do our looting. Trust me, a lot of the stuff turns skimpy as soon as I touch it. It’s really annoying.”
Huh. Weird how that worked.
“But your armor isn’t skimpy.”
“It’s leather. That means it’s tight-fitting and makes me look like it was a badass. If I were a tank in chain or plate, I’d be almost completely naked. It’s stupid.”
Focus. I had to focus.
The guards had never bothered to answer my question. They just glared at me. Right. No seduction to be done.
“Is there anything we can do for you to let us through the gates? Bribes? Quests?” I said more insistently. Something had to work here.
“No.”
It was hard to charm people when they weren’t giving an inch.
I glanced at Ashley and asked, “You want to give it a go?”
“You know I’m not seducing anyone. I’ve got Bull.”
“It’s not like it’s really cheating. Besides, he isn’t even here.”
“I’m loyal. Deal.”
“Walt?”
“Why am I last?”
“Because Charisma is your dump stat? I mean, it’s probably a lost cause, but I thought you might like to try.”
Walt glared.
Okay. We weren’t talking our way past the guards and I was in no shape to try fighting our way past them.
Quest Failed
Be A Charmer
Perhaps the guards were the wrong choice. You really should have tried charming the palace staff instead.
“Let’s go find Earthquake. He might have an idea what we can do next,” I said.
“If he doesn’t, we can find a way to contact Elsora. She might have more success getting us an invitation,” Walt said.
I resolved to find myself some guards like this and we headed off in defeat. Today was not my day.
CHAPTER NINE
We set off back into the city, leaving the palace behind. I was both impressed and angry at how immovable those guards had been.
“I’m surprised you didn’t try to go all epic violence like we did the last time we got stuck at a set of gates,” Ashley said.
“That was more Storm attacking us than picking a fight. Besides, we aren’t at full power and don’t have the Vainglory to back us up,” I said. I wish we did. The Vainglory could just fly us over those gates unless the wards stopped it.
“You can’t just teleport us in?” Ashley asked Walt.
“I already mentioned the wards,” Walt said, as he shrugged his shoulders. “I considered alternatives like teleporting up high into the air and falling at an angle to beyond the wall, but I don’t think it will work. They knew what they were doing.”
“Those guards won’t take a bribe, but perhaps others would,” I said.
“We get loot, we don’t give it away unless it’s to get better or more useful loot,” Ashley said. “Stop making stupid suggestions.”
I should have known that wouldn’t go over well.
“I really wish I were in better condition. Then we’d just kick their asses.”
“Yeah, that would go over well. We have murdered your guards, please release your captives and let’s be friends,” Ashley said.
We had plenty of other friends with whom we’d started out killing each other. Murder was a bonding experience.
We picked up some kebabs from a vendor as we made our way through the city. The food was welcome although sadly it did nothing to restore my health.
Asking for directions to The Venomous Stag eventually led us to an inn called The Chipper Carrot. Everything having two names was really getting old.
Making our way inside we found a rougher establishment than the daytime name might suggest. It was familiar in the way all dive bars look a bit alike. Currently a fight was underway, patrons squaring off against each other in a free-for-all. I didn’t see any weapons. So far as it went, this was a friendly free-for-all.
Ashley beamed at the sight and said, “Fuck yeah, I’ve been looking for a fight. I’ll find our boy and pull him out.”
I watched as she vanished into the crowd. It was weird to hang back from a rumble.
“So, weird question for you,” I said to Walt.
“Is this a sex thing? Please don’t tell me this is a sex thing,” Walt said with a grimace.
“What? No. Why would I think you know anything about that? Do you think we’re real?”
“What kind of a question is that? Do you have any reason at all for thinking we aren’t?”
“Lea raised a good point awhile back. We’re attuned to this simulation and player characters to boot, so we’re getting a big boost to our stats. We should be the badasses amongst badasses. We aren’t though. We’re holding it together, but not running over everything like I’d expect.”
“You are a King with a unique flaming sword and a half-dozen lovers. How much more of a special snowflake do you want to be?”
Oof. That was fair. Mean, but fair.
“Some others seem just as special though.”
Walt ducked to avoid a flying bottle and said, “In a not-unrelated thought, you are a fire aligned tank, resistant to debilitating effects, and spend your life plugging every port you can find—in a manner of speaking. You’re kind of a firewall.”
That was a weird thought.
“So you don’t think we are real?”
“Liam, even before mankind fell there were theories that we all existed in a simulation. The argument went that if it was ever possible to simulate the universe, then more than one species out there amongst the stars has done so. In a case like that, the odds of being the one, true, original universe become astonishingly tiny.”
That was uncomfortable to think about. If that were the case did it even matter? I did find myself loving Yvera even though she was code. But then, what about the trail of bodies we left behind telling ourselves it was just a game?
Ashley came back from the crowd. She was looking a good bit more cheerful and a tiny bit more bruised. “He’s busy getting the shit beat out of him by four guys, but gave me a lead on someone that can help. We can go.”
“Should we help?” I asked.
“Nah, he’s having fun.”
I peeked into the room past her.
Rumbling Fists of Punishing Fury
A man I didn’t recognize went flying across the room and crashing into a table. Right. He was having fun.
I motioned to Ashley to lead the way. She led us out of the inn an
d down the street.
We didn’t have far to go. A few turns and we were arriving outside of a clothing store named The Silken Weave.
“So who are we looking for?” I asked.
“His name is the Spider. I guess he’s some sort of information broker,” Ashley said.
“I wonder if our connection to Maria will help us at all then. I mean, I doubt he’s an actual spider, but her name got us far with that clockwork spider awhile back.”
I opened the door to the shop and led the way in, the others following behind. A few steps through the door and Ashley reached out a hand to my shoulder.
“Stop Liam,” Ashley said. “We’re surrounded by an alarming number of traps.”
I turned my attention to the surroundings, which to me looked like every inch an upscale tailor.
“Are you sure? I only see fancy clothes.”
A balding man stepped out from behind a nearby display and beamed a smile. “You are both right, of course. Assassins do tend to see things that others do not. There are multiple poisoned crossbows aimed at you in the moment, although none sporting anything quite so expensive as what has already poisoned you. Was that Essence of Abuli?”
Well, at least the poison coursing through me impressed someone. “I’m not sure. I didn’t get the name of it before he left me to die.”
“Impressive that you still live. You really shouldn’t have. I assume someone with such a deep-pocketed enemy has come seeking the Spider for a related reason. You’ve found him. What is your business?”
“We need a way into the palace. The guards at the gate are as immovable as they are monosyllabic,” Walt said.
Spider made an expression of distaste. “Politics. I do try to avoid getting involved.”
“We are allies of Queen Maria Sardonis, The Queen of Spiders,” I said, throwing as much weight into the words as I could.
Spider stared at me flatly. “Whoever has given herself such a grandiose title, she is not the Queen of this Spider. Sardonis, as in the royal family of Galea? Well, former royal family?”
“Yes. The daughter of King Leosi and Queen Alera,” I said, and then stopped myself. This exchange of information thing so far was going completely one way.
“You’re connected to the growing darkness out west,” Spider said, and after a moment added, “And given your armor I assume I am hosting the Flame of Genea himself. Welcome to my shop, Your Majesty. My services just expanded and my prices went up. I can find you a way into the palace.”
The joys of being a King. Once people figured out someone was royalty they started finding ways to take advantage of you. It used to bother me, but I was coming to like how it opened doors. I was fine being used a bit, if it got me something I wanted.
“And what will you want in return?” I asked.
“Tailoring is not a cover. Rumors have it your Kingdom is increasingly playing diplomat and host. See my designs worn and shown off, and I’ll see you get where you want to be.”
I’d expected information or coin. I guess access was a coin all its own though. I hoped Elsora would like his designs. If not, I was quite certain I’d hear about it.
“Deal. So how do we get in?”
“You’ll want to take the Assassin’s Road. I can give you directions to the start, although the topography from there changes daily,” Spider said.
“The Assassin’s Road?”
“It is a route through the sewers and catacombs leading past the wall and into the palace. Used mostly by assassins,” Spider said.
“Not spies?”
“If your Spymaster has not explained that you allow most spies in through your front gate, they have done you a disservice,” Spider said.
I didn’t have a Spymaster, or if I did they were so good even I didn’t know about them.
“If the route changes daily, it sounds as if it’s subject to the magic shaping the castle’s defenses. Why allow assassins through at all?” Walt asked.
“Politics is the art of befriending those enemies you can and killing those you cannot. A way is left open because everyone wants it left open, despite the risks,” Spider said.
Personally, as a King, I was against an open-door policy for assassins.
“So, what are we looking for?” I asked.
“I’ll have one of my assistants guide you. Like most parts of the city the path changes when night falls and becomes considerably more dangerous. You will want to be on it soon.”
Soon we were back on the streets and following a young man who was Spider’s assistant. So far everything in this city had proved more challenging than expected. I had to hope we were about to catch some good luck.
CHAPTER TEN
After being guided through the twists and turns of the city we were taken into an alley. A metal grate allowed us access to the sewers. Our guide led us along a confusing path and finally pointed at a featureless section of the wall.
“Nice wall,” I said, before glancing over to the others. “I don’t suppose my horrible perception is missing a door?”
“Not that I can see,” Walt said, waving his hands.
Distort Illusions
The magic had no effect whatsoever and the wall remained a wall.
Ashley reached out and splayed her fingers along one section and twisted her wrist, as if turning a dial. I heard the faint scraping of stone against stone and the wall turned inward to reveal a passage behind.
“I could see it. A bit like when I see traps, but different. I think it’s some class-specific sign for assassins,” Ashley said.
That made sense given the purpose of the path. Ashley moved through the passage and we followed along behind.
Ashley held up a hand to slow us. “You’re going to want to follow me carefully. There are traps everywhere.”
“Why put traps behind a door only an assassin could open?” I asked
“Because they don’t want to make it easy? Fucked if I know Liam, just take it slow and don’t do anything I don’t do first.”
What followed were the longest three hours of my life. The pace was so slow it became agonizing as our muscles ached from moving in a motion that simply wasn’t natural.
It was almost a relief when Ashley took another step forward and there came a loud click, followed by green gas starting to billow from the walls.
“I can teleport us,” Walt said.
“Don’t,” Ashley said, remaining frozen in place. “Don’t move a muscle. This is trying to panic us.”
I thought it was doing a damned good job. With the poison currently in my system any new effects I got would last for three days. I didn’t want to add any new negative status effects.
I could order Walt to get us out of here. I wanted to, but I knew that Ashley saw more than either of us did. I had to trust in her and hope that she was making the right call.
The gas reached us, shrouding the world in green. It had a stench like rotting cabbage and a foulness that burned my eyes and throat, and left us all coughing.
It was unpleasant, but it didn’t seem to do us any harm.
“So, what is this Ashley?” I asked.
“What we passed through before was a test of caution where we had to take it slow. This was a test of nerve. If we’d moved, we would have failed.”
“So, it’s not enough they leave a passage open specifically for the purpose of assassins to get in. They want to make sure they only admit assassins good at their job?” I asked. What was wrong with this place?
Ashley shrugged and led the way forward again. “I’m enjoying it. I like to feel useful.”
“You are our major damage dealer, you are always useful.”
“Yeah. But everyone can do damage. It’s nice to do something nobody else can,” Ashley said, and then paused to stare at the section of the wall ahead. “So. Walt. Get over here, test of intellect. There is math.”
Something called a “path of assassins” should have had a lot more climbing and leaping and murdering. This w
as boring.
“If I lean against the wall, am I going to get us all killed?” I asked.
“You’re good,” Ashley said.
“Tell Yvera to pop in. This is insane math, a calculator would help,” Walt said.
“I’m not a calculator,” Yvera said, after appearing in a burst of flame. As if seeking to prove that point she was naked—she did that sometimes. Things were looking up. At least, if there was going to be talk of math, I’d have something to hold my attention.
I ached, the pain from the poison still coursing through my veins was a constant. I could ignore it for a time, but it was always there, eroding my mind and making everything I did challenging. It would have been a hard day just being in bed recovering, instead we’d been very busy.
I zoned out or probably fell asleep—I was in that state where it’s hard to tell. I would close my eyes for an instant and, when I opened them, suddenly people would be standing somewhere different and the conversation seemed to have sprung forward. Incomprehensible gibberish became different incomprehensible gibberish.
After a period of Walt and Yvera shouting at each other, an argument that Yvera won with her solution to the test, Ashley manipulated an expanse of wall. Around us the air shimmered and then began to pulse an ominous red.
“Fuck,” Ashley said.
I took a deep breath and tried to focus. “What’s going on?”
“What is going on is that problem was a challenge for me,” Yvera said. “Tiny monkey brains like Walt’s would never be capable of it.”
“We shouldn’t have solved it,” Walt said. “It wasn’t an intelligence test we were supposed to pass.”
A translucent woman in elegant robes appeared in the middle of the chamber. “Four intruders capable of a feat beyond mortal kind. Four potential greater evils. Two lusts, a wrath, and greed for knowledge.”
“Yvera?” I said.
“She’s a Guardian spirit. I still act through you. I’m useless for anything but giving advice right now.”
Great.
