“Really now?” So Granny was playing the jealousy card, was she? She seemed very serious about her quest to repair their relationship.
“It was quite the lecture.” Sadness misted her eyes, and she shrugged. “I’m trying to joke around about it, but this isn’t easy for me, Danny.”
Playacting for Granny wasn’t easy for him, either. Although he and Beth didn’t belong together, they did have history that had left his heart in shreds. He’d healed, and he was a different man now, but the reminders were a stab.
“You said something before at the community hall,” he said. “Something about Luke being mine. What were you trying to say?”
“Does it even matter?” she asked with a sigh.
“Yeah, it does. To me.”
She was silent for a moment, then shrugged. “There wasn’t room for me, Danny.”
“And you knew that after a day?”
“Luke is your son. There’s a biological link there. You looked at him, and you felt it—he was yours in a way he could never be mine.”
“We could have tried—”
“Danny, I didn’t want to be the Linda in your home.” Tears misted her eyes. “And I saw that coming.”
That she’d be cold and uncaring? He shook his head. “You saw what, exactly?”
“You’d discovered your son—and that was a powerful moment. You and Luke would always share something special, and I’d be on the outside. And one day, he’d tell me that I wasn’t his real mom, and he’d be right. That would hurt, and I’d pull back a bit—to protect myself...” Beth swallowed hard. “I didn’t want to slide down into being your Linda, Danny. I couldn’t become that.”
Dan heard Granny’s footfalls behind him, and he glanced back to see her hopeful face. She was a sweet old woman, even if she was living in the wrong year. He appreciated what she thought she was doing—even though it was five years too late.
“I’ve put the icing on, and the cinnamon buns are covered on your counter,” Granny said, folding her hands in front of her. “If you won’t eat them until morning, you’ll want to pop them in the fridge.”
“Thanks,” Dan said, but his eyes were fixed on Beth. She didn’t want to become like Linda, and he couldn’t imagine her getting so tart and inflexible. Yet, she could...
“Have we made up, then?” Granny asked.
“Yes, Granny, it’s all sorted out,” Beth said with a small smile. “You can rest easy tonight.”
“Daniel?” Granny gave him a questioning look.
“All sorted out,” Dan echoed hollowly. But it wasn’t.
“I’m very glad to hear it,” Granny said earnestly. “There are people who would be thrilled to see you two fail. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Now, would you hug or something?” Granny gestured toward them like the director of a play. “Kiss and make up, perhaps? Come now, you’ll both feel better.”
Beth looked from her grandmother to Dan in shock, and Dan felt a wave of worry. Granny was taking this all the way, it seemed. How far were they willing to go to appease a confused old lady?
Beth licked her lips. “Granny, I’m sure we can just go home now...”
“I’m not some old prude. Now make up properly or it won’t stick.” Granny gestured toward them again. “Come on. Best learn this now before the wedding, because married people have to make up plenty. Trust me on that.”
There wasn’t going to be any way to get around this and get Granny calmly home, he could tell. So he put a hand on Beth’s shoulder, and she looked up at him, stricken.
“You ready?” he murmured.
“For what?” she whispered.
Dan bent down and gathered her into his arms. She felt different than she had in the past. Her could feel the swell of her belly, and what felt like a gentle kick from within. Had he felt that? He wasn’t even sure. But he wrapped his arms around her and leaned his cheek against her silken hair. It felt better than he’d imagined it would, and his heart softened in his chest. She smelled of baking and something soft and womanly that he couldn’t quite identify. Beth’s hands moved around his waist and they stood there for a few beats, their hearts thumping against each other in a calming rhythm.
“There.” Granny sounded pleased. “See? It makes it stick.”
She was probably right—the simple act of pulling someone close had a way of disintegrating the last of the anger. Except he and Beth weren’t a couple any longer.
Dan released her and stood up straight again. Beth looked a little rumpled, and she smoothed her coat down once more before giving Dan a shy smile.
“We’d better get going,” Beth said.
“Okay.” Only the two of them knew how much they were willing to do for Granny. By tomorrow, Granny wouldn’t remember much of this, he was sure. “And thanks for the cinnamon rolls.”
Beth and Granny did their coats back up, and he noticed a spot of pink in Beth’s cheeks when she glanced at him. It had been a nice hug, he realized. Maybe she felt the same way. It had been a long time since he’d held her in his arms, and he missed it—the closeness, the connection.
“Good night,” Beth said, and she stepped outside. Granny followed, and when the old woman looked back at him, he thought he saw a more knowing look in those glittering blue eyes than usual. She was a complicated old lady.
He watched from the door as they got into their car, then he shut the door. He stood there in the living room feeling strangely peaceful. A hug—was that what he’d been longing for all this time? It hadn’t been all bad back then...when Beth had to wrap her arms around him and he’d inhaled that soft, feminine scent of her skin so close to his. He missed that.
Dan sighed and headed toward the kitchen. There was a pan of cinnamon buns waiting, and he had plans to eat a couple of them before morning. Granny’s baking deserved his full attention.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE NEXT MORNING, Beth was still thinking about that oddly tender hug in Danny’s living room. She still fit under his chin—somehow, she’d wondered if she still would with all this tummy. She’d been a little nervous that he wouldn’t be able to make it work, a reflection of her own physical discomfort lately. She felt huge, so unlike her usual self. Her figure wouldn’t be the same after this, and she had no idea how she felt about that.
But Dan had managed to wrap his arms around her without any difficulty—he’d just leaned down and gathered her up in those strong arms of his, and pregnant or not, she still fit.
And yet, just before that hug, she’d been opening up more than she’d wanted to, telling him her fear of becoming just like Linda. She shouldn’t have said anything—it didn’t help—but it felt good to talk to him again. She’d always been completely honest with Danny, and she’d believed that he’d been the same with her until that was proven wrong. That hug had been more emotional than she’d wanted to admit, and she’d liked the feel of his strong chest against her cheek, the sensation of his heart beating steadily. Dan was bigger now—bulkier, and definitely stronger. And his arms closing around her as she shut her eyes and absorbed that unique musky scent of his had reminded her of just how much she’d missed this.
That hug had been fake, though—prodded by a meddling old lady—and it was the kind of soothing intimacy Beth could not allow herself to enjoy, because it wasn’t real. Right now, with a baby on the way and the fears of delivery mounting, she wished she had a husband by her side, hugging her when she needed reassurance, doing cake runs when she got cravings...but she didn’t, and wishing wasn’t helpful.
Beth came into the kitchen to find her father at the table with a mug of coffee. He was dressed as if he were going to work at the store—a button-up shirt and a pair of khaki pants—but he wasn’t, obviously. Just sitting there with his coffee beside him and his laptop open on the kitchen table.
“Morn
ing,” Rick said. “How’d you sleep?”
“Not too badly.” She paused and gave her father a smile. “Are you writing, Dad?”
“Job hunting.” He took a sip from his mug.
Of course. He’d need to find something to replace the store, but the image of her father looking for work was a hard one to swallow. He didn’t deserve to be in this position, not after how hard he’d worked all those years, not after he’d established himself as a literary voice for the country.
“I’d rather hear you were working on your book,” she said.
“Doesn’t pay enough,” he said. “I have a granddaughter on the way, remember?”
So this was on her...but not entirely. The store’s failure hadn’t been her fault, and she knew better than to take everything he said to heart.
“Do you miss the store, Dad?” she asked.
Her father sucked in a breath, then nodded. “Yeah, I do. I grew up there. Like you did. I worked side by side with my dad in that shop up until the day he died. You could say I miss it.”
“Have you gone to see it?” she asked.
Rick shook his head. “Can’t bring myself to, Beth.”
She knew that the shop now belonged to Danny, but while the contents were being sorted out, it felt like it still belonged to them a little bit, too. None of them were ready to say goodbye to the family store, but life had a way of grinding on whether a person was ready for it or not.
“Have you found much else there that we’ll want to keep?” her father asked after a moment.
“The triple frame with our pictures in it that I gave to Linda,” Beth said.
Her father nodded, but he didn’t say anything.
“There might be more little treasures, Dad. I’ll make sure we don’t lose anything.”
“Thanks.” He took another sip of coffee. “I appreciate it, Beth.”
Her father couldn’t bear to see the store emptied out, and Beth was having trouble staying away. It was loyalty, mostly, because Danny only made her feel more unsettled. She was still attracted to him, but she knew better than to let emotions get involved. She might be back in North Fork, but she wasn’t the same woman who’d left. So when she visited that store, it was because it had been a family hub, a touchstone for their memories. It was that, she told herself, not Danny.
That morning, Beth put on her winter coat and trudged out toward the old store. Danny had said that he wanted to have it cleared out by Christmas, and a couple of weeks after that, Beth’s daughter was due to be born. Everything would be different in the new year, and they’d all just have to move on.
The store was unlocked, and Beth stepped inside to find Danny breaking down cardboard boxes.
“Hi,” Beth said, and she headed toward the space heater.
“So how was Granny this morning?” Danny asked.
“She forgot everything,” Beth replied with a small smile. “Almost makes your sacrifices seem in vain, doesn’t it?”
“That wasn’t a sacrifice. I’ve wanted to do that since you arrived.”
Beth blinked, then dropped her gaze.
“I thought I was enemy number one for you,” she said, glancing up.
“Oh, you are.” He shot her an impish smile. “But you seemed like you could use a hug. That’s all. I think you’ve had a rough time.”
And she had needed that human connection—Danny hadn’t been wrong there. But right now, she also needed to be self-sufficient. She wasn’t used to going it alone, but this was her new reality.
Danny sliced a box open with his cutter, then dropped the knife on the countertop while he flattened the cardboard.
“What about Luke?” she asked. “What if he’d seen that?”
Danny dropped the box into a pile. “He was asleep, and that kid sleeps like a log.”
“Oh...” What did she know about sleeping children? Danny grabbed another box, then paused. He licked his lips, then looked up at her, and she could see apology in his face.
“I just wanted Granny to stay calm,” Danny said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”
“No, it’s fine.” It was more than fine, and she was trying to forget about how nice it had felt.
“With our history—” Danny shrugged. “Never seeing each other again would have been easier, I suppose.”
Beth felt a stab at those words. He was happy to hug her because she looked like she needed it, but he’d rather never see her again?
“North Fork is my home, too,” she retorted. She might not feel like she fit in the same way, but when she needed somewhere to come to, somewhere to have her baby, North Fork was here. Her father was here.
“I know.” Danny shook his head. “Maybe that came out wrong. It’s just—we almost got married, Beth. That’s huge. We had a wedding planned and ready to go. Flowers, dress, the works. After almost marrying a woman, it’s hard to go back to a casual hello in the street. I don’t wish you ill, Beth, I just don’t know how to do this balancing act.”
This was awkward—even more so since he was taking over her family’s store. There was nothing easy about their relationship, but small towns were like that. People had history together, and then they had to be able to find a new way to relate, because avoiding someone in a place this size wasn’t remotely possible.
“You act like my heart wasn’t broken, too,” she said.
“You’re the one who walked away.” Danny tossed the cardboard onto the pile.
“In my defense, you’d just dumped a pretty big surprise on me,” she countered.
“Luke was a shock for me, too!” He turned toward her, all the gentleness out of his expression now.
“It’s not nearly the same,” Beth shot back. “You knew he existed, at least! You just didn’t know that his mom was going to do that!”
Danny winced, and she immediately regretted the words. What good was this going to do? It was five years ago, and they’d both moved on. What were they doing?
“I needed—” Danny stopped, then shook his head. “Forget it.”
He’d always done that—come within a hair of saying what was really on his mind and then backed off. She’d always won their arguments, but it had never felt like a win. She’d hated it, because she had wanted to know what he was feeling, and he’d stayed bottled up.
“You needed what?” she asked, her tone more annoyed than she wanted.
“I needed some understanding,” he said, dark gaze snapping to hers. “I needed you to see it from my perspective. And if you still didn’t want to marry me, I could have lived with that. But you didn’t stop to see what it meant to me.”
Beth undid the last of her coat buttons, her mind going over that night. Granted, she’d been focused on herself. Danny had hidden something massive from her, and she was supposed to roll with that? She’d been scared, upset, betrayed... And all her father’s warnings that Danny wouldn’t be able to give her the life she wanted had come back in a flood. She couldn’t marry Danny—not like that.
“I was freaked out,” Beth said. “We’d talked about what our life would be like together, and you’d never even hinted that there was a child out there who might come knocking...or an ex-girlfriend you might owe child support to.”
“I know.” Danny grabbed another box and used more force than necessary to tear it apart. Their arguments had normally been like this—her outtalking him and him simmering. But they weren’t a couple anymore. They were neighbors, that was it. Maybe it was time to put an end to these stupid patterns already.
“But you said I didn’t see it from your perspective,” she said, softening her tone. “So...what was it like for you?”
He stopped manhandling the box, and a couple of beats of silence passed. Then he said, “I was facing my responsibilities. I dreaded telling you
, because you were already taking a step down to be with me. I knew you’d be upset, and believe me, I never wanted to disappoint you. For the first time of my life, I was manning up.”
“Fessing up, you mean,” she said.
“Figuring out how to support my son!” The ice was back in his tone again. “I get that it was a shock. I get that I should have told you long before. I was scared, too. I didn’t know how I was going to raise Luke, but I was damn well going to try!”
“Wait—” She put her hands up. “What do you mean, I took a step down to be with you?”
“Didn’t you?”
“No.” She frowned. “Is that what you thought? You were more street-smart than I was. I was more bookish. We balanced each other out.”
“That’s not what your dad thought.”
“Who cares what my dad thought?” she shot back.
“You did.”
Danny bent and gathered up the boxes, then strode to the front door. He used his boot to kick the door open and then disappeared out into the cold, leaving a swirl of snowy air in his wake. Beth stood there for a moment, the blast of cold air pushing against her legs. Her heart pounded in her chest, but she stood alone in front of the space heater, her rejoinders packed like a ball in her throat. She knew she’d hurt Danny, but she’d been hurt, too. She’d had to walk away from their wedding, as well, and it wasn’t because she was heartless or spoiled. She’d had reasons, and those reasons weren’t that she was a cut above him.
The door opened again, and Danny came striding back inside.
“I wasn’t the bad guy you made me out to be,” he said, picking up where he’d left off. “And you could have left me, Beth, but you didn’t have to paint me as the horrible man who’d broken your heart, because that wasn’t the whole story, either. You left because of you! I needed you then, Beth. It isn’t only the women who need support in relationships. Meeting my son for the first time—having him suddenly thrust into my home—was the hardest, scariest thing of my life, and when I called you to come over, I needed your support. I needed you to stand with me, Beth, but instead you took off because you couldn’t handle it.” He was trembling now, and she jumped as he slapped a hand down on the counter. “Well, that’s life! Sometimes it’s hard, and that’s why there are wedding vows! You walked out on me when I needed you, so don’t act like I was a monster who ruined your life. I had every right to expect that you’d stand by me—that’s what marriage is!”
A Boy's Christmas Wish Page 9
