by B. N. Toler
“The horses are waiting.” She doesn’t wait for a response before she walks to the front door.
I shove the Post-It in my pocket and follow her down to the barn. The sun hides behind a blanket of gray clouds, but the day is warm. I wore jeans and tennis shoes today, but opted not to wear a jacket. If I end up with a shovel in my hands again I’ll be glad I wore short sleeves.
Sarah and I clean the stalls. More like I clean the stalls and she leads the horses out into the field. After we finish, she shows me how to fill their water buckets and where to get feed for their stalls.
I follow her instructions while I remain lost in thought. I can’t seem to shake Rhett’s words from last night. “Humans can be monsters too.” Was that just his way of defending what he is? Sarah finally releases me for lunch, instructing me to come straight back afterwards.
As I eat, I pull the post-it note out of my pocket and stare at the numbers, still unable to make any sense out of them. I finish my meal of tuna on wheat with baby carrots as a side and return to the barn. I find Sarah has saddled Bruno and Esmeralda, but I’m surprised to find Red and Green Mile waiting by the fence.
They stand at the fence, watching me as I approach. I haven’t seen them since the night I arrived. I nod a hello to them as I climb through the fence. Did Rhett send them back in his absence to make sure I don’t try to escape? “Where have they been?”
“Around,” she shrugs.
“We’re going for a ride?” I pet Esmeralda.
“No, I just saddled the horses for fun.”
I roll my eyes. Smart ass.
We follow the same trail that Rhett and I did the first time he took me riding. I’m still uneasy, but holding onto the knob on the front of the saddle that I now know is called a horn seems to help. I try not to look down as the earth feels like it’s a hundred feet away. We ride in silence for a while when finally, to my surprise, Sarah begins to speak.
“So, Rhett said he told you our story.”
“Uh, yeah.” I wish I had a better response.
“He left out a big part of it that I think you should know.” She pulls a leaf off of a branch as she passes it.
I wait in anticipation for her to continue.
“It’s difficult for him to speak about it. He blames himself a great deal.”
“I can see that.”
“My mother and I were raped before they killed her. I begged them to kill me, too. Like you, I had this idea that being turned meant I would become a monster. I kept crying that I didn’t want to be a blood healer and they just laughed. Finally, one of them told me I wasn’t going to be turned.” She pauses and the world is silent with the exception of the horses’ hooves stomping the earth.
“Did they just want to feed on you for your energy?” I ask, unable to wait for her to continue.
She stares straight ahead, piercing blue eyes set in soft pale skin, her expression never indicating any emotion she may be feeling. “No, they didn’t want me for that either. When Rhett returned and they took us, as you know they held us for quite some time. He would visit me in my dreams and we kept trying to figure out why we had not been turned yet. But we could have never imagined their reason.”
I am literally on the edge of my seat, well saddle, in anticipation.
“They intended to use us for breeding.” She tosses the leaf she’s been holding, while my brain does a mental flip.
Did she just say breeding? “Breeding?” I manage to spit out in spite of myself.
“Not together, of course,” she clarifies. “Healers are becoming extinct; many of those left do not heal at all because they don’t want to be found. We discovered that vampires had resorted to kidnapping healers and impregnating the females with another male healer’s sperm. I was to be used to produce newborn healers and Rhett was to be used to provide sperm.”
My jaw feels like it’s dragging the ground. “So, they forced you to have sex with another healer?”
“They had doctors who could artificially inseminate the females. They attempted this on me six times with no success. Of course, they had male healers on the payroll they used in situations like mine.” She pauses and there’s an awkward silence.
My heart races as I wait for her next words.
“There were three different men who…” She clears her throat. “Well, had their way with me.” Her throat moves as she swallows hard.
I want to jump off of my horse, yank her down, and hug her, but I know better. She would probably punch me in my face. Then a thought hits me like a Mack truck. Does Rhett have children? “So, what happened?” I mentally flip on my filter, stopping myself from questioning anything about Rhett.
“After they realized I couldn’t produce offspring, they decided to change us if we promised to obey. I begged Rhett to agree and he did; he knew if he agreed he had a better chance of killing the vampires that killed our mother and hurt me. Rhett would come into my dreams and we planned an escape. When the day came, I created a scene so he could escape. He was super pissed at me, but swore he would get me out no matter what. Rhett continued to walk in my dreams and we were able to plan my escape, but that changed when I began to see the women that were being brought in for impregnating. I knew I had to help them. No woman deserves to be used that way and no child deserves to be created for such a purpose. So I stayed and earned the trust of my captors.”
“Sarah, I’m speechless,” I manage to get out. Did Lucy know these things and never told me?
“We all cope with things differently. I know I seem shut off and a little cold sometimes.”
I don’t point out she’s being extremely modest in herself description.
“Which leads me to you.”
“You think I’m shut off?” I pull my hair back off of my shoulders.
“No. Not at all. In fact you’re like my polar opposite. You have no ability to hide any thought or emotion. I think you’ve cried at least seventy percent of the time you’ve been here.”
She’s calling me a cry baby. “Your point?”
“The reason you need to know all of this is because—”
Suddenly, Bruno rears up. As my body gives way to the law of gravity, I try to grab the saddle to keep myself from being thrown. But it’s too late. I plummet to the ground like a ton of bricks. Pain echoes through my body as my ankle twists, and I cry out in pain. Bruno runs off and Sarah jumps off of Esmeralda fast as a bullet to my side.
“You okay?” She reaches to touch me, but stops.
“Yeah, I twisted my ankle.”
Sarah stares off. Her lips tighten into a thin line. “You have got to be kidding me,” she mumbles under her breath, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what spooked him.” She’s probably frustrated that I’m hurt, Bruno ran off, and now she has to get me back to the house.
She places her hand on my ankle and a cool tingle replaces the pain. Her energy is not as intense as Rhett’s.
My body relaxes as the pain vanishes. “Thanks.” I turn my foot side to side, testing it.
“No problem.” She stands, but doesn’t offer a hand to help me up. “You take Esmeralda, I’m going to walk.”
“Are you sure?” I stand, and test my weight on my ankle.
“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll be back later.”
“Are you okay?” I ask concerned after the horrific story she just shared with me.
“Aw, do you want to hold my hand and comfort me?” She makes a pouty face, and I know she’s mocking me. Old Sarah is back.
I manage to get on Esmeralda, but look down once I’m in the saddle to see Sarah looking around. “What are you looking for?”
“Keeping an eye out for Bruno,” she snaps.
“Oh.”
“Go,” she orders. Yep, old Sarah is definitely back. I heel Esmeralda’s side, and we’re off.
Three days pass, and Red and Green Mile are there every minute of it. They never speak to me, but are always there, lurking a short distance aw
ay. The days seem to last an eternity. On the third day Sarah and I sit in silence at the table in the kitchen while I eat my bland dinner of grilled chicken and steamed broccoli. I find myself wishing Rhett would return with a giant pizza and a two liter of Coke. “Where is Rhett?” I ask, unable to stop myself anymore.
“He needed some time away.”
“Where did he go?”
“Why do you care?”
“Is he coming back?”
“You are unbelievable.” She stands up and leaves the kitchen.
I don’t get upset at her reaction. In my mind, Sarah is entitled to act however she wants after what she’s been through. It would still be nice if she were a little less cranky.
As the days pass, Sarah’s story haunts me. In spite of her less than friendly personality I know deep down she’s just scarred. Who wouldn’t be after what she went through?
Each night I go to bed, I contemplate what I will do if Rhett doesn’t come back. I’ll have to run away or something. That would be difficult with Red and Green Mile around.
Lying in bed, drowning in sheer boredom, I drift off to sleep and seem to be lost in darkness. I try to focus and create my lake, but it doesn’t appear. I start to walk when voices surround me. I walk towards the sound, trying to make out the words. Finally, I get close enough to make out the conversation.
“What do we do?” Whit asks.
“It’s up to you,” Rhett replies.
“Do you think she can handle it?”
“I don’t know, Whit. She doesn’t seem to want to accept the truth.”
“Then tell her.”
“Are you sure?” Rhett’s voice fills with uncertainty.
“I guess it’s now or never. I mean, is there any other way?” Whit asks.
“I still think I can with more time, but Sarah has decided to do things her way.”
“I miss her,” Whit admits, and I feel a pang in my heart.
I miss him too.
“You know this could end badly, right?”
“I trust you, man.”
Why is my subconscious creating a conversation between my brother and Rhett? Is it trying to compare my past with my present?
“Whit!” I yell, but they continue to speak as if they can’t hear me. I yell his name over and over again. After many useless attempts, I yell, “Rhett!” No response. I muster up what’s left of my voice and scream as loud as I can, “Rhett!”
“Did she just say your name?” Whit asks with disbelief in his voice.
“She did. Aldo, I’m here.”
“Where is here?”
He keeps speaking as if he didn’t hear my question. “Hudson, she’s speaking,” I hear Whit yell from a distance.
“Aldo, say something,” Whit begs me.
“Where are you?” I yell, but they still don’t answer my question. “Rhett!” I yell, my voice becoming hoarse.
“I’m here Aldo,” he says again, but his voice seems distant. “Aldo….” His voice trails off as I snap awake. I sit up and try to get my wits about me. It felt so real. I lay back down, hugging my pillow, trying to console myself as tears stream down my face. I miss my brothers. I miss Lucy. But mostly, I miss Rhett.
.
seventeen
Days pass without a sign of Rhett. To say his presence has been missed would be an understatement. My days have been filled with chores and dealing with Sarah’s delightful personality.
Most nights after dinner, I walk the property hoping to exhaust myself so I can sleep. Tonight is no different, but I head towards the lake where Rhett and I skinny dipped. The smell of tall grass, fresh dirt, and must fill the air. The sun has just dipped below the tree line, making way for lightening bugs to pierce the evening air with their flicks of light.
I walk into the barn and pet each horse before grabbing the bottle of Jack Daniels that Rhett and I were drinking from nights before. Bottle in hand, I continue my journey to the lake, while I sip the bourbon. Throughout the mindless chores Sarah’s had me doing the last few days, my mind has remained focused on Rhett, Lucy, and Thomas. I haven’t been able to think of anything else. Where did Rhett go? I’m starting to go stir crazy wondering if he will return. I take the last sip of whiskey from the bottle as I reach the bank of the lake, and sit it by my feet. I stare at the massive oak tree a moment and try to remember happier times. Times I shared with Thomas and my brothers; fishing and laughing. I scratch my arm. Another mosquito bite. I sigh. If only Rhett were here to heal it.
I close my eyes and try to remember the sensations his energy sends through me. I may be confused about many things, but at this moment, I want Rhett. He is dangerous and forbidden, but kind and gentle, too. Images of him play in my mind, his smile, his hair when it’s loose, his naked body. Oh God, his body. I’m getting worked up, going into full blast fantasy mode. Maybe a swim will calm me down.
I strip down and wade ankle deep through the water for a few moments while I tie my hair up, then slowly make my way into the water trying to enjoy this moment of real relaxation. But my mind returns to the numbers from the bank account. It keeps nagging me because the numbers make no sense.
“Mind if I join you?” Rhett calls from the bank.
I jump, surprised by his arrival. “No. Not at all.” When he pulls his shirt over his head, all of the air in my body escapes in one slow whoosh. I close my eyes and turn to give him some privacy. The water splashes as he makes his way in and my stomach knots.
“You can look now.”
I turn slowly and meet his gaze. “Hi.” I smile nervously.
“Hi yourself.” He grins back, and my stomach flutters with butterflies. “Miss me?” He swims backwards in front of me.
“Haven’t given you a single thought,” I shrug casually.
“Is that so?” He splashes at me.
“Where were you?”
“I went to see a friend.”
“I didn’t think you were coming back.”
“I said I would be back.”
For some reason my eyes tear up. I turn and try to hide my emotion. “I know.”
He must have noted something in my expression because he says, “Hey.” He tries to swim in front of me, but I keep turning. “Stop.” He grabs my arms.
My body sags as his energy consumes me. Relief washes over me. I have gotten my fix, my addiction satisfied.
“Aldo, I’m here.” He stares into my eyes, and his words echo in my mind. “Aldo, I’m here.” The exact words he said in my dream several nights ago. That can’t be a coincidence. I pull away from him. “Rhett, is there something you’re not telling me?”
The water line rides right beneath his defined chest. He exhales and runs a hand through his hair. “I think it’s time to tell you, but can we just enjoy this for a few more minutes?”
“Do you promise to tell me everything?”
“I promise.”
“Okay.” I smile, knowing I won’t be able to think of anything else.
“What have you and Sarah been up to while I’ve been gone?”
“Oh you know; doing each other’s hair, painting each other’s nails, talking about boys,” I jive.
“Did you give each other facials?”
“That was like the first thing we did.” I nod enthusiastically. He laughs and runs a hand through his hair.
After a moment, I add, “Actually, Sarah let me check on my brothers.” I keep my voice casual, trying to gauge his reaction.
“She did?” He looks more angry than surprised.
I swim backwards away from him. “You told her about our code system, so she let me check the accounts.”
“And what did you find?”
“There were weird numbers. The checking account had more money in it than usual and the savings account was way low. The savings is what we use for codes, but the numbers don’t match any of our agreed codes.”
“Maybe there isn’t a code.”
“I keep trying to tell myself that, but I can’t
stop thinking about it.”
“Maybe the numbers are letters.” His voice has a strange tone, and he looks away from me.
“What?”
“Like each number represents a letter in the alphabet.”
I think about this for a minute. Why didn’t I think of that? “Yeah, but what would twenty-one sixteen mean?”
He stares into the sky as if thinking. “Well the twenty-first letter of the alphabet is U and the sixteenth would be.”
“P” I interrupt him. “Up?” What would that mean?
He rolls his eyes and the muscles in his jaw tighten. “Let’s go up to the house where we can write it all out. Ladies first.” He motions towards the bank.
As I leave the water, Rhett faces away from me. I retie my hair and in the limited light of the moon, I search the bank for my panties and jump.
Rhett stands right behind me. Where did he come from? His breath brushes my skin. We both remain still, our heavy breathing the only sound that breaks the silence.
I freeze, wanting to run and wanting to melt into his body all at once. I feel weak. Is it his presence or the bourbon I’m buzzed from? Or both? I turn slowly and stare at his chest where droplets of water rest on tight skin. My body trembles as I force my eyes up to meet his. Drops of water fall from the locks of his dark hair on to his face and shoulders. I lick my lips and swallow, waiting for him to say something. We’re naked, standing only inches apart, but neither of us moves, yet my body is reacting to the sexual tension. My nipples are hard and my core is tense with anticipation. His body language reveals nothing and with no words, I can only look into his eyes for answers. His eyes tell me what he won’t—the windows to his soul. His lips are flat, pressed in a thin line, his jaw tight, his body straight and still, but his eyes say everything. There’s a wanting there, a need. A hunger that burns inside him.
He gently takes my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine.
