by M. Malone
“Okay, well, we can go wherever you need to.”
His words, meant to calm, seemed to enrage her. She pointed her finger at him, getting annoyingly close to his eyes.
“I know I can go where I need to. That’s what I’m doing. I don’t need a man to tell me where I can go. Nobody controls me!”
Jonas threw up his hands. “No one said you couldn’t. I’m trying to help you. Do you know how reckless this was, walking out alone? Anything could have happened to you, crazy woman!”
JJ clutched her bag tighter. “I’ve walked home plenty of times by myself before.”
“I don’t think you need me to tell you that things are different now.”
The words took the wind out of her sails. JJ sagged a little, her eyes meeting his directly.
“Yeah. I know.”
He fell into step beside her, happy when she followed him back to where he’d parked the car. Their usual routine was for one of the guys to escort her home from the office. If she needed to stay late, like she had tonight, she would call them when she was ready to go and someone would pick her up. Ever since everything had gone down last year, when her best friend had been stalked, JJ had seemed to understand how serious this all was and had cooperated with their efforts to keep her protected.
What had happened tonight to change that? Jonas wasn’t sure what was going on but there had to have been something to send her fleeing into the night looking as haunted as she had earlier.
He held the door open for her and waited as she climbed up into the vehicle. She settled her bag on her lap and then turned to grab the seatbelt. When she saw him still standing in the doorway to the car, she hesitated.
“Is everything okay?”
“Do I look okay to you?” When she recoiled at his harsh tone, Jonas took a deep breath. “Sorry. No. I’m not okay. Not at all.”
Jonas didn’t offer any other explanation, just shut the door and walked around to the driver’s side. Let her stew on that. Maybe then she’d see what it felt like to be left out in the dark, wondering what the hell was going on.
Right before he reached the driver’s side door, he stopped. He was angry. Not just annoyed or peeved, but truly angry. Because whatever had scared JJ badly enough to have her running out without a word to her security was something that she hadn’t come to him about. That didn’t feel right at all. As much as they bickered, did JJ really not know that he’d drop whatever he was doing to help her?
He took a deep breath before opening the door and getting behind the wheel. JJ looked over at him. What he was feeling must have been broadcast on his face because she groaned.
“I don’t want to hear the lecture right now, okay? I was busy at work and just felt like going home without calling out the cavalry, okay?”
Jonas shook his head, unbelievably disappointed. Not just because she wasn’t taking her own safety seriously but also at the boldfaced lie. Did she really think he was that unobservant? It was an insult to him, not just as a security agent but as a man. He saw everything about her. She loved Lucia like a sister and put up with her best friend’s fussing, even though she hated to be hovered over. She liked to watch Oskar lifting weights, much to Jonas’s annoyance and jealousy.
He knew that she had a serious love affair with vodka. She had a hate affair with men and always chose badly. Including the dipshits she dated who didn’t even bother to pick her up at home.
So why would she think he wouldn’t see through such an obvious lie?
“I’m not going to give you a lecture, JJ. Just a reminder. If shit goes bad, we can’t help you if we don’t know where you are.”
Jonas had expected her to have a scathing response or to tell him where to stick it. But what JJ did next was the absolute last thing he’d ever expected. She turned to him with big blue eyes.
And burst into tears.
JJ had been only seven when she first discovered the power of tears.
She’d gotten caught by her father sneaking a cookie. Her dad was a stickler for the no-sweets-before-dinner rule. Sneaking a cookie without asking was grounds for losing her television privileges. The moment her eyes had filled with tears, her father had started to shift on his feet. She’d added a sniffle and before she knew it, he was shoving a cookie at her.
She’d learned it applied to men in general when she’d tried it on her first boyfriend at the age of twelve, Sal Morini. Sal had tried to break up with her before the seventh grade dance so he could go out with a girl who’d put out. Namely Vicki Dematto. As soon as she’d turned on the tears, he’d backtracked. Of course at the dance she’d ditched him to party with Lucia and her friends, then told Vicci Dematto what he’d said. No girl had gone out with Sal the rest of the year.
Those early experiences had been eye-opening experiences and led to an epiphany for JJ. Ever since, she’d never had an issue using her big blue eyes to get her out of trouble.
But this time, she wasn’t pulling a sympathy card or being manipulative at all. She was honestly just overwhelmed.
And furious that Jonas was the one to witness it.
But, he didn’t seem to be enjoying it any more than she was. He stared at her in shock before swinging his eyes back to the road.
“Oh God, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to yell at you.”
Hearing him backtracking somehow only made it worse. She was a strong, independent woman and she didn’t need to be pandered to. It was humiliating that she was crying right now when all she wanted to do was rage, but after being so sure that someone was following her, her emotions were raw and right at the surface.
“I’m not crying about that. Damn it, why am I crying at all?” She swiped at her cheeks and glared at him, as if the tears were his fault.
Although maybe they were partially his fault. She’d been holding it together while walking on her own. Then Jonas had to show up looking all kinds of edible and reminding her how much her safety meant to everyone else. Of course she’d broken down! What woman wouldn’t, after a guilt trip like that?
Never mind that what he’d said wasn’t even that bad. JJ needed someone to blame just then, and Jonas was readily available.
“You show up talking about Lucia and my safety. I thought someone was following me, so I told him I had a Taser and a dick, but really, all I had was the dick and I was scared, because even if that dick is huge, I mean it’s probably more effective as a club.”
Jonas glanced at her from the corner of his eye, and then mouthed the word dick slowly. Under any other circumstances JJ would have laughed. He had the cautious expression you use when talking to someone who is completely batshit crazy.
Maybe she had lost it. She reached back into her purse and pulled it out. “See, I have a legitimate dick.”
His eyes went wide. “Damn, I think that thing is setting some unrealistic expectations.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s not for me to use, asshole. It was a gag gift that Lucia gave back. And it was all I had as a weapon.”
He worked hard to wipe the smirk off his face. “Jessica, I apologize if I made you feel like I was coming down hard on you. I just want you to know that your safety is our top priority.”
He made another turn that had her shifting slightly, almost falling into the door. Part of her wanted to give him shit for his driving, but she couldn’t even muster the energy. She’d been running on pure adrenaline before, but now that she was tucked into the safe confines of the car with Jonas, the fear from before came back full force. What the hell had that been about? She’d heard something; there was no way she’d imagined that. And if she’d heard something, and someone had been there, why hadn’t they answered when she called out? Why would anyone want to scare her?
She ignored the voice in the back of her head. You know who might.
No. That was her old life. Things were different now. Are you sure? Because maybe the fire wasn’t an accident.
She couldn’t go down that spiral again. She had a brand new life now
.
They pulled into the underground garage in the Blake Security building. JJ had been so deep in her thoughts that she hadn’t even realized they were home. Home. The place you were supposed to feel safe. JJ hadn’t felt like that about any place in a long time. But she could honestly acknowledge that she’d felt like that the past few months living with Lucia and her crew. Her living arrangements had seemed like a gross overreaction to her friend’s security issues the prior year, but she’d soon come to love it. Surrounded by muscular, hot men all the time and living rent free. Not a bad deal at all.
But now she could see that she’d allowed it to lull her into a false sense of security. Sure she was safer living with the Blake Security team, but she must never let herself think she was truly safe. No matter where she went, she would never be safe.
“You know you can come to me with anything, right?”
JJ looked over to see that Jonas had cut the car off and turned in his seat so he could watch her. Suddenly self-conscious, she pushed her hair behind her ear.
“Sure. I mean, it’s your job.”
“No. Not just because it’s my job.”
Awareness blossomed and JJ flushed. His eyes didn’t leave hers. She fidgeted with the strap of her bag, unsure how to handle this side of him. It was weird to have him looking at her like this and being nice to her. Angry and argumentative Jonas? She could handle him with one hand tied behind her back. But tender, sex-on-a-stick Jonas? Well, she didn’t have the first clue as to how to act. What if she admitted that she’d wanted to call him earlier? What if she told him that she thought of him when she was alone in her bed at night and he laughed?
She’d die instantly.
“Well, I’m fine,” she protested weakly. “I don’t need anyone’s help.”
“Maybe not, but I do.”
“You need my help,” JJ replied, deliberately misunderstanding him.
She could tell by the flare of heat in his eyes that he was gearing up for one of their knock down, drag out wars of words. Her body responded in kind. For the first time, she catalogued the symptoms like an outsider. Increased heart rate and breathing. Flushed skin and a sense of anticipation.
God. It was so obvious looking back on it now. The whole time they’d been fighting they’d been engaging in foreplay. She could only wonder if it was as obvious to everyone else in the house. Probably. Which was just great. How was she supposed to look the others in the eye now?
“I need you to want my help. I need to help you. Because the idea of anyone fucking with you makes me crazy.”
The idea that Jonas would unleash his rage on someone just because they’d bothered her pleased her greatly. She clamped down on the response. It was far too close to a “girlfriend” type of thing, and way too possessive for her taste. She’d had more than enough of possessive men who thought they owned her.
“What did I just say? Something just made the light go out of your eyes.”
She shook her head. “Nothing. But I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me. I just want to be left alone.”
“Who isn’t allowing you to be left alone?”
Damn him for being so smart. The only way to keep from giving him all the clues he needed was to distract him. Luckily, she knew the perfect way to do that.
“Right now the only one annoying me is you. So I guess I’ll say thanks for the ride and good night.”
Before he could react, she reached over the console and grabbed the front of his shirt. He let her tug him until he was close enough for her to smell the scent of his cologne. Their eyes met, and suddenly Jonas smiled. The impact of it, especially so close, made JJ feel like she was flying. And suddenly this wasn’t about distracting him anymore. It was about doing what she’d wanted to do for ages.
Kiss him.
His lips softened under hers and he let out a soft groan that ricocheted through the still interior of the car. It was incredibly intimate, secluded there with just the two of them and the rapidly increasing sound of their breathing. For those moments, they weren’t Jonas and JJ, mortal enemies.
They were two people who connected like lightning, taking each other in like they wanted to merge into one being.
She gasped and a moan slipped loose. Jonas took that opportunity to slip his hand into her hair, anchor her head, and deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding over hers expertly.
JJ hooked her arm around his neck, holding him still, and he opened his mouth wider like he was trying to swallow her whole. If the console hadn’t been between them, she likely would have climbed into his lap, but instead she just sucked on his lower lip until he moaned into her mouth, the sound finally bringing her back to reality.
They stayed for a beat staring at each other before she pulled back and opened the door. The rush of cool air coming in cleared her head, and JJ wondered if it had finally happened. After years of pretending to be okay, if maybe she’d finally had a mental breakdown.
“JJ, what just—”
“Good night, Jonas.” She closed the door and walked quickly to the elevator.
For the first time that day, luck was on her side, because after she leaned forward for the retinal scan, the doors opened immediately.
The doors closed just as Jonas rushed up. She heard his muffled curse get fainter as the elevator ascended.
“Good night, indeed.” JJ touched her mouth.
chapter 5
Of all the mistakes he'd ever made in his life that had to be the dumbest one. Kissing Jessica Jones. Because now there was no way he was ever getting the taste of her out of his system. Jonas followed behind JJ, watching her ass sashay back and forth as she headed straight for her room. Aching all over, he went straight for the conference room. He’d left his laptop and needed to collect a few things before he headed home.
What had he been thinking? The problem was that now that he’d tasted her, it was all he could think about. Even before the sweet, scorching slide of her lips over his, he’d already been a little too obsessed with her. Because while she might seem innocuous, she was sly, working her way under his skin for the sheer pleasure of torturing him to death.
Fuck, he was losing it. He needed to get his shit and then to put some distance between the two of them. He just had to put her out of his mind. It would be fine. He was a master of control.
Not with her you’re not.
Under penalty of death, he would never admit just how often he thought about JJ. That would only stroke her ego … amongst other things. His perverted mind had all kinds of ideas about what the hell else of hers he could stroke.
No. Not gonna go there.
He’d lost count of how many times he’d had a little shower workout just thinking about her lips. Or that sexy smile, or the way her ass filled out her jeans.
Nope. Not going to happen. Ever. And it wasn’t that he was obsessed with her exactly, it was more that she challenged him. Irritated him. Sometimes he just wanted to kiss that smug smile right off her face.
Well, how did that feel?
Fucking incredible. The best tasting chocolate ice cream of his life topped with something even more decadent. JJ’s lips topped his Never Touch list.
He shook his head. Why did he do it?
You really want to answer that?
He ignored that thought. He didn't even like her. She was bossy, irritating, loud … Fuck, was she fucking loud.
Well, lucky for you, you now have a way to shut her up.
And did he ever. He just kept thinking of the way she’d stared at him. Lips parted on a gasp, looking soft and mussed, right before he'd slipped his hand in her hair, anchored her head, and then deepened the kiss. Now her taste haunted him as it followed him around like a wraith.
Shit.
This wasn't helping. Because, what do you know, he was getting a boner. Fan-fucking-tastic. He stormed into the conference room and slammed the door behind him, even though the door didn't exactly slam since it was on soft hinges.
He dropp
ed his ass into one of the cushioned seats and scowled at his laptop. He quickly checked his emails while he willed his dick to lay down.
Damn it.
She was not supposed to affect him like this. Where was some of that infamous control?
Oh yeah? That control you displayed with Mira the other night? How about the control you displayed with Clint?
Shit. Lately it was like he was walking on a tightrope and any little thing would set him on edge. Send him over.
Kissing JJ certainly had him teetering and clamoring to get himself back on steady footing.
They could forget this. Pretend it never happened. Pretend that she didn't taste like sin and sex and temptation all rolled into one. He could forget. It was fine. Everything was just fucking fine. All he had to do was completely forget that soft moaning sound she made when he slid his tongue into her mouth. It was easy.
Dick, still hard. “Little note, asshole, you are not doing me any favors right now,” he mumbled to his dick. The damn thing didn't care. It just continued to twitch in his pants as if to say, “I know she's over here somewhere; why don’t we go finish that kiss?”
The hell he was going to do that. He was never touching her again.
"So, how was it?"
Jonas snapped his head up and met gazes with Oskar Mueller. After Matthias, Oskar was the most senior member of Blake Security. He and Noah had crossed paths in Noah’s old life as an assassin. When he started Blake Security, he called Oskar. The German was one of the best forensic accountants in the business. And also a general badass with a penchant for knocking skulls.
Jonas’s first thought was to say ‘fucking incredible. She tastes like you think she would taste.’ But no, he wasn’t an idiot. Oskar liked to gossip more than any high school girl Jonas had ever seen. So instead, Jonas frowned and asked for clarification. "What do you mean?"
Oskar shrugged. "Blondie rolled in on a tear. Obviously she's pissed about something. Gotta tell you, I'm sorry I missed that fight. You two bickering is often the highlight of my day."
