by M. Malone
The panic room.
Noah had made her and Lucia practice the code over and over when she’d first moved in. He’d claimed that muscle memory would come through for them in an emergency even if they were too rattled to remember the code. As her fingers raced over the buttons, JJ promised to thank him later. The door slid open and she rushed inside. She didn’t take another breath until the door slid closed behind her.
“Jesus, what the hell?” The muffled voice from outside the door made JJ whimper.
How had he found her? She went to the far corner of the small room and curled up in a ball on the floor. After so many years, just when she thought she was safe.
Haven’t you learned by now? Nowhere is safe.
JJ covered her head with her arms and sobbed.
chapter 17
Jonas ran his hands over his face. She was in the panic room? What the hell? It took a few minutes for his brain to start working amidst the adrenaline rush of chasing after her. He glanced behind him. Lucia had followed and stood hovering in the doorway.
“Where is she?” Lucia asked. Her eyes darted around the room and she held a hand to her chest as she panted for breath. A second later, Noah appeared in the doorway next to her.
He pointed to the wall across from them. It took a few seconds before she got it. Lucia’s eyes widened.
“She’s in the panic room?” Her eyes followed the same path his did to the blank panel on the wall.
“It appears so. What was going on before I saw you guys? Was she behaving strangely?”
Lucia rubbed her arms. “No. She was totally fine. I mean, she was bitching about not fitting into any of the clothes she liked. But that’s the usual. Then she was talking about getting one of you guys to babysit Isabella so we could go shopping together. That’s when you came out. This doesn’t make any sense.” Lucia bit her bottom lip. “She was totally fine. We were talking the whole time you guys were having your meeting. What changed?”
Jonas walked up to the wall. “JJ. Baby, it’s me. Are you okay?” He listened intently. Nothing. Then he heard a soft sob. “I’m coming in.”
“No! Don’t come in. Don’t let him in!”
Jonas glanced behind him at Lucia who looked just as perplexed as he felt.
“What is going on?”
Lucia shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. She was so happy to see you just a few minutes ago. I don’t understand why she doesn’t want to see you all of a sudden.”
Jonas flinched. What could he have done that scared her this badly? He mentally reviewed everything that had just happened. She’d looked so happy to see him and maybe he’d been a little aggressive with that kiss, but he’d just had a major epiphany. Had he scared her off with his intensity?
JJ wasn’t keen on the idea of forever any more than he’d once been. Maybe it had been too much, too soon? It was a blow to think that the idea of forever with him was enough to send JJ literally running from the room, but he knew her fears and her past. She’d had valid reasons not to trust and not to hope for more. But slowly, every day, he was going to show her what was possible. It was his new mission in life to teach her how to love without fear. Hell, he’d be teaching himself along the way too. Because this shit was terrifying already.
He knocked on the door again. “JJ, baby you know this room is only for emergencies. I know you’re mad at me but you don’t need to hide in the panic room. I’m coming in now, okay?”
The only response was another round of heartrending cries. She sounded like she was barely breathing. Jonas cursed. Her sobs tore at his heart. Had he really done this? But nothing else made sense. Although she probably wanted privacy, he couldn’t take it anymore. He typed in the code and when the door slid open, his heart broke all over again when he saw JJ curled up on the floor in the corner.
Then she raised her head, and his blood ran cold. JJ looked completely terrified and not entirely aware of where she was. This wasn’t about her being angry at him. Something had happened. He’d seen this kind of thing before in some of their clients, especially the ones who’d been abused. Something would trigger a memory, and then they’d react like they were right back in their personal hell.
“Lucia, it’s okay. I’ve got this. Go tell the others not to disturb us please.”
“Of course.” Lucia patted his arm before leaving with one last worried glance back at her friend.
Jonas ducked his head to enter the room. It was about ten feet by ten feet and painted stark white. Not designed for comfort, for sure. JJ couldn’t be comfortable all crunched up in a ball like that. He sat next to her and then scooted as close as he could without touching her.
“JJ, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I did to scare you but I’d never want to hurt you in a million years.”
She turned suddenly and threw herself into his arms. Relieved that she wasn’t running away from him anymore, Jonas held her, allowing her to sob into his shoulder. It was about ten solid minutes before she quieted. The only way he knew she was still awake was the shaky gasps of her breathing.
“He was right there. Right there in front of me. I haven’t seen him in so long.”
Suddenly she bolted upright. “Oh my God. He’s out there with Lucia! I have to warn her. I have to get her away from him.”
“Whoa. Hold on baby. Warn Lucia about who?”
“David,” she cried. “I have to warn her about David! What if he hurts her or the baby? I was so scared I just ran. What kind of friend am I?”
Holy fuck.
“JJ, are you saying you recognized David West? That you know him?”
He sat up straighter, the events of the last hour racing through his mind. David’s intense concentration on something in the common area. He hadn’t even seemed to care about what Ian was saying. Jonas had thought he was looking at Lucia because she had been the one visible to him, but had he been looking at JJ the whole time? She wouldn’t have been able to see him since they’d had the tint on the conference room windows turned on, preventing anyone from looking in.
She nodded miserably. “He’s … he’s the one. Jonas, he’s the one who hurt me. The guy I told you about.”
“Son of a bitch.” Jonas pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a quick text to Noah and Matthias. Hopefully they could read it without tipping off David or Ian.
His phone rang a few seconds later.
“What the fuck is going on?”
“I guess that means they’re already gone. Damn it!”
JJ flinched next to him, and Jonas reined in his temper. He couldn’t let his anger touch her. She’d had enough of violence and fear.
Noah’s voice was tight. “You need to explain. Why should I have detained them?”
“Give me two seconds. I’m going to get JJ out of here first, and I’ll come find you. Can you have Lucia meet us? I think JJ could use a friend right now.”
He knew that Noah understood what he meant. While Lucia took care of JJ, he and Noah would come up with a plan to take care of that fucker David West.
Take care of him permanently.
He was carrying her.
Under any other circumstances, JJ would have more than a few snarky things to say about Jonas carrying her around. But honestly, after her little crying fit, she wasn’t entirely sure she even had the strength to stand. After he’d made arrangements with Noah over the phone, he’d wiped the tears from her face with the kind of gentleness she hadn’t known he possessed, and then he’d scooped her up in his arms. She’d rested her head on his shoulder and let him carry her to his room.
She’d expected to feel ridiculous, letting a man cart her around like she didn’t have two perfectly working legs of her own, but instead she’d felt cared for and protected.
The way David once made you feel. Look where that got you.
Because the thought brought back the vague sense of panic, she pushed it away. She wasn’t going to think about that. Noah and the guys were handling it, and she trusted that they w
ouldn’t let him anywhere near her. Now that the first rush of panic had passed, her brain could approach the problem in a rational way. She was no longer the scared, young teenage girl who hadn’t had the will to stand up to David. She was a strong, independent woman who knew her own mind. He couldn’t manipulate her if she didn’t allow it.
Those days were over.
JJ curled up on Jonas’s bed, burying her face in his pillow. His scent enveloped her, surrounding her with a sense of safety and comfort. After her crying jag, she felt like a dishrag that had been wrung out to dry, but she took a deep breath. Despite being older and hopefully wiser, she could still acknowledge the pull the past had on her. It had been an emotional gut punch to see David in the flesh for the first time in so long. She’d reacted with the instinct of the scared girl she’d once been. But she was okay.
Everything was going to be okay.
Then she remembered that despite not being a scared kid anymore, she was still only human, and David was still violent and unpredictable. He’d been standing only a few feet from her and people that she cared about. What if he’d hurt Lucia? Saying that things were okay might be a bit of a stretch.
“JJ, can I come in?”
She sat up at the sound of Lucia’s voice. Her friend’s head appeared in the doorway. She glanced around the room uncertainly.
“It’s okay. You can come in.” She waved her friend in and scooted over so Lucia could sit next to her on the bed.
They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Lucia spoke. “Jonas just told me that you knew that guy. That he hurt you.”
JJ’s eyes filled with tears. She could only imagine what her friend must be thinking. She’d kept secrets, and those secrets had put Lucia and her family in danger. She hung her head.
“I’m sorry I never told you.”
That seemed to break the distance between them. Lucia sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed her hand.
“This isn’t about hurt feelings. I just want to make sure you’re okay. You have the right to tell whomever you want about it. Or to never talk about it at all if that’s what you want.”
Relief that her friend wasn’t angry flooded through her. JJ squeezed Lucia’s hand. “I didn’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to forget it happened.”
Lucia paused. She looked uncomfortable. It wasn’t often that they didn’t know what to say to each other. They’d been friends so long that they were both used to speaking without a filter.
“You don’t have to be careful with me, Lucia. I’m really okay, despite my little breakdown in there. We’ve never minced words with each other. Let’s not start now.”
Lucia smiled softly, but it was strained. “I’m just so sorry someone hurt you. And that I wasn’t there to help out when it happened.”
“You were there. You’ve always been there. I was the one who kept it a secret. I didn’t know how to admit that I was in trouble.”
Lucia stretched out on the bed next to her. It reminded JJ of when they were teenagers and would have sleepovers and stay up all night talking. Back then, they’d giggled all night about what their lives would one day be like. If they’d get married and have a husband and kids of their own. What it would be like to have a man who adored them and did all the wicked things JJ read about in her mom’s romance novels.
But after Rafe died, things had changed for both of them. Lucia had lost her beloved brother and become a shell of her former self. JJ had lost her best friend, and she’d been desperate to feel … something. Rafe’s death had been a blow to her too, for many reasons. Not just because of how it affected Lucia but because he’d been her first crush. It had been a shocking introduction to the concept of death to so suddenly lose the first man who’d ever made her feel like a woman.
Not that she’d ever told Lucia any of that.
“How did you meet him?”
JJ thought back. The moment would forever be emblazoned in her mind.
“He saved me, actually. There was this guy hassling me on the street. Wouldn’t let me walk by. David just looked at the guy and he backed down. I thought it was so romantic back then, but looking back, I wonder if that wasn’t my first warning sign. If criminals are afraid of you … ”
“But there was no way you could have known that then,” Lucia protested. “You’ve always been smart about guys. You were never the type to jump into things.”
“Everything was so crazy then. With Rafe gone, everything was different. And David was so nice to me at first. He made me feel special. He said he wanted to protect me.”
Lucia sniffled. “How could I have not noticed that my best friend needed me? We were together all the time.”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself. You had enough to deal with grieving and taking care of Nonna. You just figured I was spending time with my boyfriend.”
“A boyfriend who was hurting you.” Lucia’s voice sounded tortured.
“He always said that he’d never let me go. God, Lucia I believed him too. I never understood why he left me alone one day. It was so sudden, but all I could do was be grateful. Then I felt so guilty because more than likely the only reason he left me alone was because he’d found someone else to torment.”
“That isn’t your fault. He’s the sick bastard, and Noah and the guys are going to kick his ass when they find him.”
JJ closed her eyes. She didn’t want the guys to go after him. At one time, maybe that would have been what she craved. Revenge. But now all she wanted was for everyone to be safe. For things to go back to normal. To have that perfect life she’d started to believe was possible.
“I love Jonas so much,” she whispered.
“I know you do. He loves you the same way, I can tell.” Lucia’s eyes shone with glee. “You have to know how thrilled I am to see you guys together. He’s the type of guy you deserve, JJ. A good guy.”
But as they drifted off to sleep together, JJ couldn’t help but wonder if that was really the kind of guy she deserved.
chapter 18
“I will fucking kill him."
It turned out that expression, ‘seeing red,’ was a legit real thing. Jonas had never been so angry in his fucking life. He marched right past Oskar and Matthias, past the gym and straight for the weapons room. Noah was hot on his heels.
"Jonas, whatever's going on man, back down."
He turned on his friend. "Back down? Are you out of your fucking mind? That asshole is a psychopath." He wasn't sure how much to say to Noah. But with Lucia in with JJ, Noah was going to know anyway. And they had a real fucking security problem now.
His friend frowned. "Dude, tell me what the fuck is going on. I've only ever seen you like this once. Talk me through it."
Matthias had been right behind Noah. And Oskar had followed them. Rafe lingered somewhere in the doorway, somehow still separate from the main group. "Ian's bodyguard. Chamaeleon? That animal used to stalk JJ. He—hurt her."
Noah frowned. "What?"
Matthias got his time-to-start-killing-people face going. Rafe stood straighter and cracked his neck. Jonas had started to recognize that as his kicking-ass face. Oskar was the only one who stayed calm, leaning against the wall. But when he spoke, his voice was quiet and deadly. Jonas had learned that when pushed, Oskar could be far more dangerous than any of them. And that included Rafe.
"Explain, Jonas," the German said quietly.
"I guess they used to date. That’s when it started. He beat her. Stalked her. Made her feel weak." They would know the whole story eventually when JJ decided to tell it. Right now he gave them the bare bones minimum.
Noah frowned across his arms. "I'll give Ian a call."
"No, you won't give Ian a call. I don't want to give that asshole any knowledge that I'm coming for him."
“Not without me," Matthias said.
Rafe just nodded his head. He was always down for an ass whooping.
Noah shook his head. "No. No one's going in for an ass kicking. We need the
full story first."
Jonas listened, but he still armed himself with pistols, made sure that he had extra magazines, and grabbed one of the shotguns too. Just for shits and giggles. What he needed was a rocket launcher. Yes, he could blow up anything with a rocket launcher. He knew they had one in here somewhere. Where had Noah put that?
"Jonas, talk to me."
Jonas stopped and turned around. "There's personal stuff for JJ to tell you. All you need to know is that asshole is not a good dude. He hurt her. From what she told me, he'd been gone for a long time. But he's back now. Which means that she's in trouble. The last few days she's been feeling like something was off. I bet you anything it's that jackoff."
Noah nodded. "Look, you know no matter what happens, I have your back. And we all have JJ's back." The guys all nodded. "But Chamaeleon is one of Ian's guys. This is no run-of-the-mill asshole we can pluck off the street, scare straight, and hand off to the cops. We need to be careful. So we'll talk to JJ, and we'll bide our time. Going in weapons hot like this is only going to get you or one of the other guys killed."
That took a little wind out of his sails. He didn't want the team anywhere near this. "I don't want anyone dying for me. I’ll do this one alone.”
He tried to brush past Noah, but his friend didn't budge even an inch. Asshole. He glared at Noah and Noah glared right back. "Jonas, I've told you this before. You want to fight, we'll fight. You want to work off some steam, I'm your guy. But I'm not going to let you walk into your own death. If this guy’s been stalking JJ this long, he's not going to fight fair."
"Neither am I."
“Yeah, but there's a difference between you and that guy. At the core," Noah thumped him on the chest just over his heart, "you're a human being. You don't kill for fun or for sport. On the job, you rarely fire your weapon. That guy, he’s a born and bred killer. That's what he is. And if he's dumb enough to hurt someone like JJ, that means that he's the lowest of the low. He will kill you and anyone else who gets in his way for nothing. And I'm not losing any of my guys. We’re going to do this smart, do you hear me? Because JJ is going to need you."
