A Sister's Quest

by Ferguson, Jo Ann

  Putting her glass on a nearby table, she caressed his cheek. “I am afraid of losing you, Alexei. Really losing you next time. I want to go home, but I want to take you with me. I love you too much to lose you forever.”

  The hard lines vanished from his face as his mouth lowered toward hers. Everything in the room vanished beneath the flood of desire that swept her away from anything but him. Too quickly he drew away.

  “Don’t stop,” she whispered. “Please don’t tell me there is someone important to whom you have to talk.”

  “There is no one more important than you, my love.” Standing, he brought her to her feet. “Let’s go home. Not to Zurich, but to our home.”

  Michelle nodded as she put her hand on his arm and walked with him out of the room. She accepted a footman’s help with her cloak as Alexei shrugged his on. When she saw the carriage waiting in the brilliant splash of moonlight, she knew there was nothing she wanted as much as this night with Alexei.

  No, that was not true. She wanted all her nights with him.

  Sitting in the carriage, Michelle leaned her head against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat. She sat up with a cry as the coach halted abruptly. Alexei’s hand on her shoulder kept her from leaping up from the seat. The carriage began to move again, and they rounded a corner. Embarrassment filled her as she realized it had stopped to let another carriage pass.

  “It is all right, Liebchen,” Alexei whispered as he brought her back into his arms. “Do not shake so. I swear you shall fall apart if you continue.”

  “I thought—I was afraid that—”

  “Hush, Liebchen. I know what you thought. Why do you think I have not kissed you since we got into the carriage? I did not want to remind you of that night.”

  “Hold me, Alexei. Hold me and never let go.”

  “Gladly.” Alexei smiled as he rested his cheek on Michelle’s head. Petals from the flowers in her hair drifted along her shoulders as she snuggled closer to him. As she slowly calmed, he wondered how long the bestiality of the ambush would haunt her. It had been a rude introduction into the world he had come to call his own.

  Stroking her back, he wished he could promise her that she would become inured to violence. That would be a lie, for he had not in the years he had been skulking across Europe on one assignment or another. Mayhap he was a jinx. Rusak, Sophie, now his beloved Michelle, all hurt because they had become involved with his life. That was nonsense. Those were the risks taken by anyone who dared to work for peace.

  When Rusak brought the carriage to a stop in front of their door, Alexei opened the door. Michelle smiled gamely as he took her trembling fingers and assisted her to the walkway. Telling Rusak good night, he led her to the door.

  The parlor was empty. As he hung their cloaks on the pegs, Michelle asked, “Do you want me to put the kettle on for some hot chocolate?”

  “No, because, Liebchen, you already have me steaming.” He drew her toward the arch.

  When she gave him a smile as rakish as his own, he was sure every muscle was taut with desire. His gaze swept along her. She was so beautiful in her silky gown, but he wanted her out of it so her even more silken skin was against him.

  He paused in front of his door, and she started to step past him. “No.” His right hand clumsily caught hers as he put his left on the doorknob.

  “I was going to get—”

  “You need nothing but me tonight, Liebchen. Tonight and every night.”

  “Every night?”

  “For as long as we can.”

  When her eyes dimmed for a moment, he wanted to take back those words. But he would not lie to her tonight. He could not offer her marriage and the conventional life she might have dreamed of. All he could offer her now was making her charade as his mistress a reality. The woman she had been in Zurich would have slapped his face and walked away.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “Tonight and for as long as we can.”

  “Are you sure?” Again he wanted to silence the words, because he did not want to risk losing what they could share. Michelle had changed, but he had as well. She urged him to think of something other than his work, which had eased his grief for so many years. He had not expected that his guilt that he had not been there to save Sophie would be eased by the love he had found in her daughter’s arms.

  When he drew her into his room, he closed the door behind her and slipped the bolt into place. Nothing must intrude. “Wait here,” he murmured.

  Michelle nodded and went to stand by the hearth. Although she heard the connecting door between their rooms open, she did not turn. She suspected Alexei was locking her door as well. In front of her the flames burned no hotter than the fire within her.

  Michelle heard Alexei’s footsteps nearing her. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the luscious madness as his lips caressed the nape of her neck. His fingers fumbled with the knot holding her sling, and she was tempted to assist him, but she guessed he wanted to undress her himself.

  When she turned to face him, he was frowning. She asked, “Is something wrong?”

  “With you? Of course not!” He sighed. “I had fantasized about sweeping you into my arms and tossing you onto this bed, where I would shred your sanity with my touch.”

  Hearing the pain in his voice, she asked, “I love you, Alexei! Not the man you imagined yourself to be. You have not changed, for I fell in love with you before we were shot. I do not want a rake who will ravage me. I want you. I want you exactly as you are.”

  “Exactly as I am now?”

  Letting her fingers curl through the golden silk of his hair, she whispered, “Exactly as you are now, except I want to feel your skin next to me.”

  “I like a woman who knows what she wants.” He chuckled. “No, I love a woman who knows what she wants.”

  With a laugh, she pushed against his shoulders. When he fell back on the mattress, she leaned over him. “I want you, mein rogue.”

  He swept his fingers up through her hair, scattering the flower petals around them. Brushing her loosened curls back from her eyes, he grinned and pressed her back into the pillows. His lips found hers with the ease of the luscious nights she had dreamed of being again in his arms. Taunting and pleasuring, his mouth moved along her face, each kiss a new thrill. He tasted the soft whorls of her ear as his breath swirled through her, inflaming the longing into a firestorm.

  He undressed her quickly, his right hand not hampering him. He delighted in her naked breasts against him and slid his hands along her back, drawing her tight to his hips.

  Another soft gasp escaped from her lips as he found the most responsive spot on her throat. Her fingers clenched on the back of his shirt when his tongue stole along her skin, lighting every inch of it with desire. Caught between his hard body and the cloying caress of the bed, she surrendered to her craving. She reached for the buttons on his shirt. All she wanted was his body on hers, to explore him intimately, to surround him with herself.

  Sparks glowed along her skin wherever his lips touched her. When he tasted the warm valley between her breasts, she ran her tongue along his ear. His quick breaths were puffs of fire on her.

  His clothes dropped to the floor with hers as he drew her beneath him. His rapid breaths mingled with hers before his lips spiraled along her, leaving her writhing and driving her to the very edge of sanity.

  She giggled as he sampled the curve of her instep. “That tickles.”

  “Serves you right,” he whispered. “Let me see where else you are ticklish.”

  Her laughter dissolved into a moan as his mouth moved along her leg. Gasping his name, she became the escalating pulse of her body as it moved with the tempo of his probing tongue. He cupped her hips, pulling her even closer to him.

  Desperately she gripped his shoulders and urged him to share the ecstasy. His mouth covered hers as he found welcome deep within her. The ripples of rapture became a wave and crashed over her, sweeping away every thought but one. Whether she should or n
ot, she loved this man.

  “My love, where are you?” The breathless caress of Alexei’s voice cooled Michelle’s face and drew her back from the sweet fire.

  Opening her eyes, she looked up at his face. Her finger wobbled like her rapid pulse as she touched the angle of his high cheekbones underlined so perfectly by his scar. “I don’t know, but wherever it was, it was wonderful.”

  He chuckled. “I agree, Liebchen. Wherever it was, it must be paradise.” Kissing the curve of her throat where her uneven heartbeat pounded, he smiled at her sharp intake of breath, then pressed his mouth over hers.

  Lifting her arms around his shoulders, she delighted in the passion that had controlled them so completely. She smiled when he raised his lips from hers.

  “Will you stay with me tonight?” he asked as he drew the covers over her. He laughed when she shivered against the cool sheets. “I will be glad to keep you warm all night.”

  “All night tonight and every night for as long as we can.”

  “For as long as we can.”

  It was a vow she meant, although she knew the time they had together might be short. But, in the afterglow of ecstasy, she wanted to let herself be lulled into forgetting for this one night the rage waiting to destroy them.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The moon reflected off the wet roofs of the city. Melting clumps of dirty snow edged the street. In the carriage, Michelle ran her fingers along the wall. She gasped when her hand was caught and drawn away from the leather edging the window.

  “It is over, Liebchen.”

  She closed her eyes and put her forehead against Alexei’s shoulder. Without her sling, she could move much more easily. As his arm swept around her, she said, “When we ride in this carriage, I cannot look away from the holes left by the balls shot at us. That reminds me that the ones who fired on us are still free.”

  “It has been a long time since the night we were attacked. Mayhap they wished only to give us a warning.”

  She raised her head and frowned. “You don’t believe that.”

  “Of course not, but I was hoping you could. At least for tonight I enjoyed dancing with you.” He tweaked her nose and laughed. “You are not going to be able to use that injured leg much longer as an excuse for stepping on my feet.”

  “Who stepped on whose feet?” she retorted.

  Laughing, he settled back and crossed his legs. “It will soon be of the least importance.”

  “Are we leaving Vienna?”

  If he was surprised at her insight, he did not let any hint of astonishment color his voice. “Soon, Liebchen. I would guess by the end of the month, we will be on our way.”

  “Where?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Don’t you trust me enough to tell me?”

  He took her hands and pressed the palms to his lips. “I trust you, but I am not exactly sure where I will be sent next.”

  “Not to Russia, I hope.”

  He chuckled. “You have an obvious aversion to the czar’s empire, Liebchen.”

  “I do not want to go where I cannot speak the language.”

  “What about England?” he challenged.

  Her eyes widened. With the alliance between the Allies eroding as each day of the congress passed, it would not surprise her that the Russians would send agents into King George’s realm. She thought about the English she had met in Vienna. They were self-satisfied and eager for power. She almost laughed at the thought, for that description fit every diplomat in the city.

  “It might be interesting,” she said.

  “Who knows where we might go? Mayhap America.”

  “Never!”

  “Such vehemence! You would like that wild world, Liebchen.” He sighed. “Unfortunately, we probably will be sent to another capital here in Europe.”

  “Unfortunately?”

  “I would like to visit America. I met an American once. He was outspoken and quite cocky that his nation whipped King George’s troops.”

  She laughed. “That was over three decades ago. Are they still talking about it?”

  “Glory comes seldom for a backward nation. They are conspicuously absent from the Congress. That is the fate of an insignificant nation clinging to the Atlantic seaboard.”

  “They are much larger since they purchased that land from France.”

  “Napoleon was an ass to sell so much valuable territory to finance his imperial aspirations.” Suddenly he laughed. “Why are we discussing politics when I could be sampling the wondrous flavor of your lips, my love?”

  “Why, indeed?”

  As his kisses sparkled across her skin, she pressed closer. His fingers moved along her, inciting the fervor that increased every time he touched her, and she delighted in the passion that soon would overwhelm them.

  The carriage rolled to a stop in front of the house. Alexei did not wait for Rusak to jump down to open the door. He swept Michelle out onto the brick walkway and, grasping her hand, hurried with her up the steps. Their laughter trilled through the shadows.

  As she climbed the steps to the landing, Michelle hummed the melody of the final waltz they had enjoyed this evening. It had been a wonderful evening with the symphony first, then a gathering where they could be part of the music as they danced.

  Alexei laughed, but she paid him no attention. The music had been thrilling, and she wanted to savor it as long as she could.

  Pausing by the apartment door, she waited for Alexei. He stopped two steps below her so their faces were level. When she put her arm around him, he grinned with the happiness she knew was on her face.

  “So you liked the evening’s entertainment?” he asked.

  “So far.” When his arm tightened around her waist, she kissed him and smiled. “What do you say we go in and have a cup of Frau Schlissel’s hot cocoa before bed?”

  “Frau Schlissel is asleep by now.”

  Her finger traced the hard line of his jaw as she whispered, “Then I guess we shall have to go directly to bed, won’t we?”

  “Now you are getting the idea.” He climbed the last steps and opened the door to the luscious aroma of hot chocolate.

  Rusak met them with a smile. Frau Schlissel. Chocolate waiting. Good.

  Alexei draped his cloak over a peg. Taking Michelle’s scarlet-lined cape from her shoulders, he hung it next to his. She spun about, humming the melody that would not be banished from her head.

  “Pay her no mind, Rusak,” Alexei said.

  “Next time you must come with us.” Michelle laughed. “You must hear this Beethoven. He is a genius.” She pulled off her gloves, her left hand still slow. “His music reaches into you and stirs every drop of blood in your veins.”

  When Rusak’s fingers moved with the speed she could not copy, Alexei ordered, “Slower, man! Slower! Our eyes will cross at this speed.”

  Rusak’s grating laugh drowned out Michelle’s chuckle. She put her arm around Alexei and chided, “If you would attend Herr Professor Waldstein’s lessons, you would have learned to understand him.”

  “Do you understand him when he talks so fast?”

  “No.” She smiled.

  “I thought not.” He looked back at Rusak. “Slow down, so Michelle can do the job she was hired to do and translate for me.”

  As Michelle interpreted Rusak’s signs, she smiled. These two men were so similar: passionate, dedicated, devoted to their allies. She understood how, in the midst of Napoleon’s horrible campaign in Russia, when Alexei had come close to losing Rusak to their enemies, they had become friends.

  She stroked Alexei’s arm as he answered Rusak’s questions about their plans for the morrow. From the moment she had seen Alexei standing in Frau Herbart’s house, she had been drawn to him. So many times she had questioned that attraction, but she could not deny it.

  When she yawned, Alexei laughed. “Why don’t you get ready for bed, Liebchen? I have a few more things I want to discuss with Rusak. Come back out, and we will have some
hot chocolate before we retire.”

  “I will need some help to unhook my gown,” she murmured, running her hand up his face.

  With a chuckle, he said, “I guess I should volunteer.” He walked with her toward their bedchamber. His fingers caressing her waist suggested the feverish touch he would unleash later.

  “Unless you want Rusak to do it for me?”

  The intensity in his voice sent a shiver along her back. “No, Liebchen,” he whispered as he drew her into his arms. His voice was warm against her skin, and she sighed with eager delight. “Rusak is a good friend, but I do not want any other man touching you. You are my Liebchen.”

  She brought his mouth to hers. At the brush of his lips, she pressed to him.

  He groaned with throaty longing. “Drink the damn chocolate quickly, Liebchen. If it would not hurt Rusak’s feelings, I—”

  “Chocolate first,” she whispered, awed by the desire in his eyes. “Then we shall have the rest of the night for making our dreams come true.”

  “You have made mine come true already.” He loosened the back of her gown, kissing her nape. When her breath caught, he murmured, “Hurry, my love. I shall have your cup waiting.”

  “With cream?”

  He kissed her bare back. She trembled with ecstasy, and he chuckled. “With whatever it takes.”

  Michelle smiled as he walked out of the room. He could not hoax her. He must have something important to share with Rusak. Otherwise Alexei would not have left. Her smile broadened. She loved this man who loved his work.

  Slipping her dress down her arms, she stepped out of it and tossed it over a chair. Warming weather had brought mud. A dark stain ringed the hem, and she hoped Frau Schlissel could clean it.

  As she pulled on her wrapper, Michelle loosened her hair. She shook her head, and the ebony strands floated around her as she walked back to the parlor.

  All the lamps but one had been extinguished. The crackle of the fire matched its dancing light climbing to the ceiling on the opposite wall. Sitting next to Alexei on the settee, she accepted the warm mug from Rusak.

  “Thank you.”

  You welcome. Good party tonight?