by Amy Hatvany
“Of course.” I sat back down on the toilet lid, crossing my legs.
She sighed. “So what’s up, birthday girl?”
“Shane’s here.”
“What?” she gasped.
I wiggled the phone cord and watched it dance. “He just showed up. He wanted to take me out for dinner but I told him about the party and now he’s coming with us.” The words rushed out of me in one breath. I paused for a moment before continuing. “He still doesn’t know I’m adopting the baby.”
“Oh boy. This should be fun.” Nova knew without my saying that I was also worried about what Garret might think.
“I know.” I reached to turn on the hot water valve for a shower. “What am I going to do?”
“Well, there’s not much you can do. I would kick your butt if you didn’t come, and Garret would think something was hinky if I told him not to come, so I guess you’re stuck riding the wave, chick.”
“Let’s just hope I don’t drown,” I said sadly, and I hung up the phone to get ready for my birthday celebration.
• • •
When we got to Nova’s house, Star and Orion had already arrived and were playing with Ryan and the kids downstairs in the family room. Mom settled with Jenny on the living room couch, and I took Shane into the kitchen to meet my friend. The room smelled of roasted meat and various spices; the table was loaded with platters of food, over which hung a large poster, obviously painted by the kids, that proclaimed HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AUNTIE NICOLE!
Nova was standing in front of the sink, washing dishes. She wore a sage green batik-print dress and, as usual, no shoes. Her blond hair was held back from her face with a dark green ribbon. The running water muted her hearing, and she didn’t seem to notice that we were there. “Hey,” I said to get her attention.
She turned to us in surprise, dropping the frying pan she had been washing into the sink with a loud clang. “Jeez! You scared me!” She turned off the water. Her eyes went immediately to Shane, sizing him up. She stepped forward and shook his hand. “Good to meet you, Shane. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Likewise,” Shane returned, flashing his most charming smile. “Nice place you have here,” he went on politely, though I could tell from his tone he thought otherwise. Nova had definitely straightened up, but her house didn’t come close to matching the cutting-edge luxury Shane was accustomed to. I was suddenly embarrassed for having brought him.
“Thanks.” Her tone insinuated that she knew exactly what he thought of her home. She gestured to the table. “There are appetizers on the table and beer in the fridge. Help yourself.” She turned her attention to me. “Nicole, can I show you something in the bedroom?”
I looked at Shane. “You’ll be all right?”
He was already reaching into the refrigerator for a beer and nodded his head. “Sure, go on.”
I followed Nova to her room and shut the door behind me. “What’s up?”
She frowned. “I just wanted to tell you that I tried to call Garret and warn him Shane was going to be here, but he wasn’t home, and I couldn’t get through to him at the restaurant.”
I nodded. “I left a message on his cell phone to call me, but he never did. I didn’t know how to explain it on voice mail.” I ran my fingers into my loose curls, dropping to the bed, elbows on my knees. “God, this is going to be horrible.”
Nova patted and rubbed my back. “I know.”
I laughed. “Thanks for the encouragement. I feel so much better now.”
“Well, at least you look good,” she offered.
“You think?” I stood and examined myself in the full-length mirror on the back of the door. I was wearing a chocolate-hued silk blouse and a matching bias-cut skirt. My red curls were loose, my face lightly made up. “We should get back out there,” I said, tasting dread on my tongue like sour milk.
“I have to pee first,” Nova said. “I’ll be right behind you.” She paused before stepping into the bath that adjoined the room, considering something. “And don’t worry. I told everyone else that Shane doesn’t know about your taking the baby. They won’t say anything.”
“Thanks,” I said, breathing a small sigh of relief. I moved down the hall to the living room, stopped dead in my tracks by the sight of Garret shaking hands with Shane in the entryway. My heart froze, and it took Nova’s hand on my back a moment later, urging me along, to get it started again. Garret’s mouth was in a thin, dark line across his face as he pulled his hand away from Shane’s and looked at me with a tight expression. Mom and Jenny were no longer on the couch; I assumed they had gone downstairs to join Nova’s family. Lucy stood next to her father and ran over to greet me with an enthusiastic hug. She wore a lacy, hot pink party dress, complete with a matching vinyl purse.
“Happy birthday, Nicole! We got you a present today. I helped Daddy pick it out. We shopped all afternoon!” She ran back over to Garret, and I noticed that despite her frilly dress, she still wore her favorite white sneakers over bare feet. “Can we give it to her now, Daddy? Please?”
“Later, peanut,” he said, touching his daughter’s dark head. “Why don’t you go find Rebecca?” I couldn’t read his tone.
“Okay!” she cried, jumping up and down, obviously too excited to be disappointed about my not opening the present. She tore down the stairs to the family room. Nova followed her.
“I should check how Ryan’s doing with Layla,” she said. “I’ll be back in a minute.” I looked after her longingly, then back to Garret.
He met my gaze, his eyes dark with emotion I couldn’t name. He looked incredibly handsome: his hair was slicked back from his chiseled features, and he wore a cream-colored button-down shirt and khaki shorts. I thought of his lips against mine, the soft touch of his fingers on my face. I anxiously awaited the moment I could pull him aside and explain.
“So. I’ve met Shane,” he said, lifting his chin almost imperceptibly, a classic male gesture of uninterested acknowledgment.
Shane, unused to seeing me with children, had been watching my interaction with Lucy with relative surprise. But when Garret spoke, Shane stepped over to me and put an arm casually around my shoulders, the beer bottle he held cold against my bare skin. “Nic’s mentioned you,” he said. “She told me Nova watches your little girl.”
Garret kept his eyes on me. “Really,” he said flatly. “Is that all she told you about me, then?” The air in the room suddenly turned thick.
“Garret,” I started, warily observing Shane’s confused expression. This was not going well.
“You’re right,” Garret continued, swinging his gaze to Shane, as though I hadn’t spoken. “Nova watches Lucy while I’m at the restaurant.” He looked back at me, eyes probing.
“So you’re a cook?” Shane inquired politely. My face burned hot, embarrassed by the condescension I detected in his words.
“He owns the Beach Basket,” I said quickly. “It’s a very nice restaurant on the strip.” I glanced down the hall to the door that led to the basement. Wasn’t anybody going to come and rescue me from this horrid conversation?
“Ah,” Shane mused. “Have you eaten there, Nic?”
“Not exactly,” I said weakly, looking down to the floor and nervously fingering the soft material of my skirt.
“What’s the specialty of the house?” Shane asked Garret. “Maybe I’ll take my girl out for dinner while I’m here.” I suddenly realized I didn’t know how long he was planning to stay.
“The champagne chicken is quite good.” Garret’s gaze had barely wavered from me. “The sauce is exceptional. Don’t you think, Nicole?” There was a brief pause as the air became audibly thicker, seemingly more difficult to breathe.
“I thought you said you haven’t eaten there,” Shane commented, a hint of accusation in his voice.
“Er,” I began.
“Saturday night’s a busy time for the owner to be away,” Shane went on, interrupting me. He shifted his arm around me farther in order to take a swig
from his beer. “Your wife must be watching the place for you.”
“Shane,” I warned quietly, touching his forearm.
Garret held up his hand to stop me. “It’s okay, Nicole,” he said coolly, looking at Shane with slightly hostile eyes. “I’m a single parent.”
Shane whistled. “Then I’ve got to hand it to you, man. Couldn’t do the parenthood thing myself. Not even with the greatest woman in the world.” He squeezed his arm around my neck, kissing my cheek.
Garret looked surprised, then pointedly at me, obviously understanding that I still had yet to tell Shane about my decision to adopt Jenny’s baby. He moved toward the kitchen. “I need a drink,” he said, sounding disgusted.
“Me, too,” I said quickly, extricating myself from Shane’s arm.
Shane held up his beer. “I’m good for now.” He looked down the hall. “Think I’ll go introduce myself to the rest of the party.” He stepped toward the doorway that led to the basement.
I ducked my head as I followed Garret into the kitchen. “Nice sign,” he commented, glancing over to the table.
I touched his back, and his muscles froze, repelling my fingers. I pulled them away as though they’d been bitten. “Garret, please,” I started.
He snapped his head around to look at me, reaching out to grip the handle on the refrigerator door. “There’s nothing to explain. I understand completely.”
I reached out to him again, barely brushing the warmth of his arm. “No, you don’t. I didn’t know he was coming. I tried to call and let you know—”
“I’m sure you tried your best.” Sarcasm clung to his words. He grabbed a beer and popped off the cap, taking a long pull on the bottle, then stepped back from me, out of my reach.
I tried again. “Please don’t do this.”
He looked at me, his usually warm eyes suddenly unrecognizable with cold and indifference. “I haven’t done anything.” His tone stung like a whip. He pushed past and left me in the kitchen, alone. I looked at my distorted reflection in the chrome oven door and frowned. “Happy birthday,” I said ironically. “May all your wishes come true.”
• • •
The rest of the evening passed mostly without event. Shane made polite conversation with Orion, in whom he had found a fellow golf enthusiast. Star and my mother reminisced about the birthday parties they’d thrown for Nova and me over the years, and Garret talked with Ryan, focusing on playing with Lucy and the other children while pretty much ignoring Shane’s existence, as well as mine. Jenny watched everyone happily from her vantage point on the couch, her eyes sparkling with content. It wasn’t until Nova brought the presents down to the family room that things became tangibly uncomfortable again. Shane stepped up to me and kissed me soundly in front of everyone, then smiled. “My presence is my present, babe. Happy birthday.”
I laughed hesitantly, as everyone else glanced at each other, unimpressed by this pronouncement. I quickly opened my other gifts: a professional cookware set from Nova and Ryan; a set of silver-and-amethyst bangle bracelets made by Star; several pieces of artwork from the children; and a beautiful emerald green cut-velvet scarf from Mom and Jenny. I had mentioned the scarf to my mother the week before when I’d admired it in a local dress shop; I was touched she’d remembered. I thanked everyone profusely. Then Lucy piped up, jumping from her father’s lap, where she had been resting. “What about our present, Nicole? Don’t forget ours!” She tilted her elfin face at her father. “Where is it, Daddy?”
Moving with slow deliberation, Garret reached into his shorts pocket and retrieved a black box that was topped with a small red bow. He handed it to Lucy without even glancing at me. I swallowed hard, watching Shane’s face for his reaction. Anticipation hung heavy in the air, everyone watching me. Oblivious to the tension in the room, Lucy skipped over to me and held out the box. “Here! Open it!”
“How about you do it for me?” I offered, my heart pounding a nervous mix of excitement and trepidation. I had no idea what he might have gotten me.
“Okay,” she agreed, pulling the lid off the gift. “I’ll do the first part.” Inside lay a black velvet jewelry box that Lucy pulled out with her tiny fingers and handed to me. “Now you.”
I rested my fingers on the soft fabric of the box, eyes to my lap. What if it was a ring? I shook my head briefly. That was a ridiculous thought. Garret wouldn’t do something like that after our conversation the night before. He knew I was still technically involved with Shane. Then why was he so angry with me for having Shane here? I’d told him I had some things to work out before we could—
“Open it!” Lucy cried out. She jumped up and down with her hands clasped in front of her chest, her dark brown cap of hair swishing around her freckled face. “Open it, open it, open it!”
“Lucy Mae,” Garret said softly, reaching over to touch his daughter’s small arm. “Settle down, please.” The tenderness in his voice made my muscles quiver in remembrance of the night before; he had used the same tone with me.
I took a breath and opened the gift. Inside was a delicate silver strand upon which hung two tiny, jewel-studded rings, small enough to look like they might fit around Lucy’s littlest finger. I pulled it out, admiring the necklace. “This is lovely, Lucy,” I said, deliberately thanking the child and not Garret. “Thank you.”
“One ring has your birthstone and the other has Jenny’s,” Lucy said importantly. “You can add the ba——”
“Birthstones of anyone else you like,” Garret interrupted her. He looked at his daughter, and she quieted, seeming to understand the warning in his words.
It was an incredibly thoughtful gift; I was terribly moved by the meaning behind it. The birthstones of the baby, Jenny, and me, forever linked, to wear around my neck. I longed to thank him, to kiss him the way he’d kissed me the night before. I longed to make this moment happen all over again without Shane in it.
“Nice,” Shane said, reaching over to finger the necklace. He looked at Garret with a hint of challenge in his blue eyes. “Expensive.”
Garret appeared unruffled. “Well, we cooks are paid pretty well these days,” he said. Shane responded with a cool look. Garret stood, taking Lucy’s hand. “It’s late, honey. Time to go.”
“But I don’t want to,” Lucy whined.
Nova stepped up and handed Layla over to Ryan. She prodded her other children toward the stairs. “It’s bedtime here, too, Lucy,” she offered in support of Garret. “We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“I’m beat, too,” Shane said, his eyes still smoldering at Garret. He took my hand. “Take me back to my hotel, babe?” His voice dripped with suggestion. Something inside me dropped another level. I felt as though I were sinking.
Garret shook hands with Orion and Ryan, then hugged Star and Nova, purposely ignoring Shane. He looked at me, a tinge of sadness shadowing the hurt in his eyes. “Good-bye, Nicole.” It sounded as though he was saying it for good.
“Bye,” I whispered as I raised my chin, drawing on every ounce of self-control to keep from crying. His voice told me he had made his choice. He wasn’t going to listen. No matter what I said, no matter how hard I tried to explain. Rejection oozed from his pores, and in that one moment, I realized we were over before we’d had a real chance to begin.
• • •
After dropping off Mom and Jenny at home, I went back with Shane to his hotel. In an oddly familiar motion, I pushed down my negative thoughts about him, ignoring all the reservations I’d been feeling about our relationship. It was surprisingly easy to fall back into the comfort of denial, and it didn’t take long for our bodies to be pressed together in the dark, reacquainting themselves. I felt less like his lover and more like a detective, searching his skin with mine for evidence of why we should stay together.
Afterward, I lay awake, covers pulled up to my chin, ashamed. I listened to the immediate postsex breathing of the man I had thought I would spend the rest of my life with, aching for the man I had only just met. I trie
d to push away these feelings for Garret but found them immovable, rooted somewhere deep within me. I didn’t know how I’d ever let them go. Eventually, I drifted into a troubled sleep.
The next morning Shane woke me with a kiss. “It’s my day with Jenny,” I said, pulling my wrinkled skirt and blouse from the plush carpet and shaking them out before dressing. “I’ve got to get home.”
He stretched out, twisting the covers between his long legs, yawning. “And I’ve got to get to work on an opening statement.”
“You’re going to work?” I asked, surprised. I flipped my hair up into a messy twist, fastening it with a silver clip I had in my purse.
“I’m not exactly on vacation here, Nic. I’ve got a pretty important case starting Wednesday morning.”
I couldn’t believe that after traveling all this way to see me he was going to spend the day in his hotel, working.
“Think I could work at your house?” he continued.
I considered this. “I don’t think you’d be able to concentrate very well. Jenny can be pretty noisy.” Actually, I knew he’d be able to work just fine around Jenny. And I’d lied—it wasn’t my day with her; Mom usually took Sundays. I just didn’t want to be around him. I wanted to go to Nova’s and find out if she’d talked with Garret after he left. “How about you come over after you’ve made some progress?” I suggested, stepping to the door. “For lunch, maybe?”
“Maybe we should go to your friend Garret’s place. I’m sure he’d be happy to see you.”
I paused, gripping the doorknob. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He slid folded hands behind his tousled blond head, elbows pointing to the ceiling. “I think you know.”
My face flushed as I attempted to twist my expression into one of indignation and not guilt. “No, I don’t.” I didn’t want to have this conversation.
“Come on, Nic. It seemed pretty obvious to me the guy is into you. He was all bristly and territorial, like he had something to protect. And that necklace he got you.” He whistled. “Pretty impressive.” He smiled at me. “I liked the way you thanked his kid so he wouldn’t get his hopes up. You big heartbreaker.” Obviously, my behavior had convinced him the attraction was one-sided.
