The Tome of Bill Series: Books 1-4 (Bill The Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, Holier Than Thou)

by Rick Gualtieri

  What the hell happened? Did I faint? That would be just my luck. Sally’s never going to let me live that one down.

  Speaking of which, where was she? Hope she didn’t get her hand chopped off again.

  The fog in my head cleared some more. Oh, that’s right. Tom and Ed dragged her away after I ... drank ... that ... blood.

  Oh boy.

  “FREEWILL, YOU ARE THE VICTOR. YOU MAY DETERMINE TURD’S FATE.”

  What the fuck? I reached up, slapped myself across the face to clear my thoughts ... and almost immediately fell on my ass. I felt a spray of blood shoot from my nose as my head rocked back from the force of the impact. Ouch! Holy crap! Guess I must've still had some residual strength running through me. Gotta watch that. Wouldn’t do me any good to knock myself out.

  Painful or not, it did the trick. My head finally cleared. I saw Turd lying a few feet away. Bruised, bloody, and with what appeared to be a dislocated jaw, he looked like someone had driven a freight train over him. He was still breathing, but seemed to be out cold. Thank God for small favors.

  Whatever the fuck just happened, I had won ... somehow. Apparently it was just in the nick of time for the worst of the effects from that blood to wear off, too. Goddamn, that was intense.

  “FREEWILL, I REPEAT, THE BATTLE IS YOURS. WHAT IS YOUR VERDICT?”

  It was then that I finally noticed the sounds of the crowd again – howls, grunts, and screams. This time, though, I sensed a decisively different attitude toward me.

  “Kill him, Freewill!” something shouted.

  “Death to the vanquished!”

  More joined the chorus, encouraging me to kill my foe.

  Yeah, well fuck that. They could get some other monkey to dance for them.

  I held up a hand to silence the crowd. They did, surprisingly enough. Guess people listened when the champ spoke. I could get used to that.

  “We’re done here for today,” I shouted, partially to the crowd and partially to the glowing thing still floating above me. “Clean up Turd (heh) and make sure he’s back at the table tomorrow.”

  The crowd started in again. Some of them approved of my decision. Others were quite vocal against it. I couldn’t have cared less about any of them or their stupid supernatural opinions.

  I scanned the audience and saw my friends. Christy was with them, apparently working some magic. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be working. Sally still had a thousand-yard stare on her face.

  I wandered over as the crowd began to disperse. Christy looked panicked for a moment, presumably over what had just transpired on the battleground. She held her ground, though. I could respect that.

  “How’d I do?” I asked, looking back. Several Sasquatches were dragging Turd away.

  Tom answered first. “Two words: fucking awesome!”

  “I agree. That was ... something,” Ed replied.

  “You really are the Freewill,” Christy said in a small voice.

  “So they tell me.” I smirked blithely. “How’s Sally?”

  “Whoever compelled her is really strong,” Christy replied, composing herself. “She’ll probably snap out of it on her own, but I’m not sure there’s any way to keep her from going under again. A lot depends on what they commanded her to do.”

  “Fuck!” I punched a nearby stump out of frustration. To my surprise, it split upon impact. Guess I was still juiced up.

  “Maybe you should take this opportunity to kick François’s ass,” Ed suggested.

  “Hell, I’m still wondering how you were able to take out Turd,” Tom said. “Have you been practicing hulking-out behind our backs?”

  I shook my head and then explained the blood.

  “Whoa, James did that for you?”

  “Yeah. Pretty cool, eh?”

  A thoughtful look appeared on Christy’s face following my explanation. She leaned forward and asked, “Are all of your powers heightened?”

  “I dunno. Still figuring this shit out, but I guess so.”

  “Then why don’t you try compelling Sally to wake up?”

  Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that. “I don’t know if it’ll work. François is older than James.”

  “Why don’t you try rather than bitching about it?” Tom suggested.

  “He’s got a point,” Ed said. “It might work, especially since I get the impression Sally’s not too fond of that asshole.”

  “Make that two of us,” I replied. “Stand back. With the extra power in my system, I don’t want to pop anyone’s head off.”

  “Because standing back will really help with a psychic compulsion,” Ed muttered.

  “Bite me, asshole.”

  “Just do it already.”

  Jeez, no patience from mortals these days. I concentrated on trying to focus on Sally and Sally alone. Here goes nothing... “SALLY, SNAP OUT OF IT!!”

  Holy shit! The compulsion felt like it had ten times the juice of the one I had used on Alfonzo. Sally’s head rocked back as if I had decked her. However, her eyes immediately cleared. Wow, it actually worked.

  “What happ...” she started to say, when a quick thought popped into my head.

  “AND DON’T LISTEN TO ANYMORE OF FRANÇOIS’S COMPULSIONS!!”

  Again, her body jolted as if from an electric shock. This time, she fell backwards, slamming her head into the rocky ground. “Ow!”

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Besides having my skull almost caved in?” Yeah, she was fine.

  “Holy shit, that was loud, Bill,” Ed said, shaking his head to clear it.

  “Sorry. Still kinda new at this.” Fortunately, my effort to focus seemed to have mostly worked. Sally was the only one who had been knocked for a loop.

  “I need to get going,” Christy said, standing up. “The others are going to wonder what I’m doing.”

  I nodded, then added, “Thanks, Christy. I mean it. I ... owe you one. You didn’t have to help.”

  She sighed. “I just hope it doesn’t come back to bite me.”

  “The Silver Eyes?” I asked, having a pretty good idea of what Turd had been talking about.

  She gave a single nod. “Nobody calls them that anymore, but yeah, the Icons.”

  “You know I’m not purposely trying to destroy anyone, right?”

  “I know.” She threw a quick smile at me, then a much wider one to Tom before turning and walking off.

  “Well, since we’re in such a thankful mood, I guess I should do the same,” Sally said, getting back to her feet.

  “It’s no problem. Any ... URK!” I gasped as her hand shot up and grabbed my crotch in a vice-like grip.

  “But just so you know; if you ever try to compel me again, I will rip this off and use it as a purse. Are we clear?”

  “Crystal,” I squeaked.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  We were still seated in the now nearly empty hollow. Sally had just finished explaining what had happened. Apparently, my compulsion had not only erased François’s, but the safeguards he had implanted in her mind, too. He’d caught Sally on that first morning while she was out tramping up some breakfast. His compulsion had been very specific with regards to what she was supposed to say and do. It also showed just how skilled he was. He had left it much the same way a hypnotic suggestion would work. She had no knowledge of it until it had been triggered.

  “He set us up,” said Ed, matter of factly.

  “How?” I asked. “I mean, how could he possibly know that we were going to do something to piss off the Sasquatches?”

  “Well, if he knew your track record, it wouldn’t be too hard to guess.”

  “Thanks for the insight, Sally. There’s just one problem with that: the guy doesn’t know me.”

  “Well, then maybe...” she started to reply before suddenly clamming up. A moment later, I heard footsteps approaching from behind us. Guess whatever upgrade I had gotten from the blood was now out of my system. That was fine by me. That had been some scary shit back there.


  I turned to find James and Nergui walking toward us. They were otherwise alone.

  “I must say, that was quite impressive,” James said as he approached. From the tone of his voice, he meant it. “I had no idea you were capable of that.”

  Nergui in turn, bowed very low to me. Apparently, whatever I had done had further cemented his Freewill beliefs.

  I gave them a quick nod. Before saying anything, I looked behind them and then around us. “Where’s François?”

  “Oh, he stormed out of here following the fight. Oddly enough, he did not look pleased at your victory. I think he underestimated you.”

  “Well, you definitely fixed that one,” Tom said.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “I owe you. Thanks for that.”

  James looked confused. “For what?”

  “For helping me out. That was quick thinking.”

  “I’m afraid you have me at a loss,” he said. Before anyone could say anything else, he held up a hand, indicating we should stop talking. He quickly turned to Nergui and said, “My friend, if you would be so kind as to wait at the Freewill’s tent. They will be under my protection until then.”

  Nergui gave a short bow, then turned and walked off.

  “I thought you trusted him,” I said once he was out of earshot.

  “Oh, I do,” James replied. “With my life and yours. Still, the fewer ears we have around, the safer things will be.”

  “Let me guess,” I asked, sharing a quick glance with Sally. “This is a safeguard against him being compelled?”

  James gave a curt nod, his expression serious. “It’s quite possible that if questioned by François, he would have no choice but to tell all he heard. Nergui is no fool. He undoubtedly understands this. Now, getting back to the point, what was that about my helping you out?”

  “The blood,” Ed replied.

  “What about it?”

  “It was yours, right?” I asked.

  “Mine?”

  “Yes, in the bottle you gave me.”

  “I’m not sure what you mean. I found the bottle where you said it would be. It was already full, so I assumed you had done so and forgotten.”

  “That wasn’t your blood?”

  “No, it wasn’t. Although, now that you mention it, that would have been a clever plan. I wish I had thought of it.”

  “What? How the hell did you think I did all that stuff out there?”

  “I ... well, I’m actually not sure. The legends say the Freewills of old had hidden powers. I just assumed you discovered yours and tapped into it.”

  “So you’re saying that wasn’t your blood?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  “So then what was all that smiling and winking crap earlier?”

  “Oh, that? I taped a note to the bottom of the bottle, asking you to meet me afterwards so we could discuss things.”

  “That was it?!”

  “Yes.”

  “Hold on,” Sally said. “How did you know Bill would survive?”

  “It’s quite simple, really. Killing the Freewill outright wouldn’t help the Alma’s cause. If they did that, they would force the First Coven’s hand. One or more of our ruling council would have no choice but to get involved in these talks.”

  “So challenging me was...”

  “Meant to humiliate you. Turd no doubt saw you as an easy mark. Breaking you and then showing the rest of the proceedings that you weren’t even worth killing would weaken our position. Instead, though, you did to him what he sought to do to you.”

  “I don’t know,” I replied. “He seemed pretty pissed. The fact that his wife committed suicide...”

  “Strikes me as odd,” James interrupted, a troubled tone entering his voice. “I wish I had gotten a chance to speak to you before this whole debacle and learn what had happened.”

  “So you could have told Bill to turn around and march back to his tent?” Tom asked.

  “Hardly. Remember, Dr. Death, I have spent time amongst the Alma. I know a little of their customs and even more about diplomacy. What your human friend did should have barely registered as even a minor insult.”

  “What?” the four of us replied as one.

  “Yes, and in times such as these, when outsiders are permitted into their lands under truce, it is understood that small infractions are tolerated.”

  “Small infractions?” Ed asked. “I thought that Bigfoot yesterday was going to rip my head off.”

  “No offense, man,” I replied, “but I can see how shitting on their ancestors’ corpses might be a sore spot.”

  “But it isn’t,” James said.

  “Okay, now you’ve lost me.”

  “This place is sacred to the Alma, that much you know,” he explained. “The tree, was it a maple variant, if I may ask?”

  “Yes.”

  “It holds significance to them, but in more of a spiritual manner. It’s a symbol of growth and rebirth.”

  “So it’s sacred to them, like they said.”

  “No,” he continued. “Sacred, yes, but not in the way that, say, Hindus venerate cattle or Christians the cross. Besides, it’s not like you burned down the forest. All you did was...”

  “Shit on their ancestors,” I repeated.

  “Fertilize the ground,” James corrected. “It’s common practice amongst the Alma. Considered a minor blessing, even.”

  “You’ve got to be wrong,” I replied. “People ... err apes don’t usually off themselves due to minor blessings.”

  “I will admit that part has me puzzled. It’s almost like they purposely wanted to find offense and had planned to use your ignorance against you.”

  “Except it wouldn’t have worked if you had warned us,” Sally said, a glimmer of insight sparkling in her eyes. Not being a complete idiot myself, I put two and two together.

  “Except François stopped you.”

  “And put a very specific compulsion on Sally,” Ed said.

  “And conveniently had his own negotiators handy when the Draculas’ group didn’t arrive,” Sally added.

  “And has been a major dick about everything,” Tom replied, adding his own unhelpful two cents.

  “I will admit that is very strange,” James said. “Except for that last part. I’ve known François for a very long time and he has always been, as you so eloquently put it, a dick.”

  “Jesus Christ!” Sally exclaimed. “He’s selling us out. François is working with the...”

  “I will stop you there, my dear,” James interrupted. “One does not lightly throw accusations at an elder vampire with only circumstantial, if highly probable, evidence. That is especially true in places such as this where there are ears everywhere.”