by A. J. Markam
“What happened?”
“We’re still trying to get those warrants.” She made a face. “Until the case is shut down, anyway.”
“Did you find out anything more?”
“No. Even now, the stuff that guy told us about the Shadow Bank before he died was the most reliable information we’ve ever been able to collect on it, other than hearsay.”
“Until now,” I reminded her, with a slightly smug look on my face.
“I don’t call you ghosting around some hallways and watching a dwarf count diamonds as reliable information.”
“Has anybody else you’ve talked to been inside the Bank?”
“…no,” she admitted.
“Alright then.”
She sighed. “Robbing the Shadow Bank is a really bad idea.”
“If I’m going to get in with the orcs, I have to get their attention. I already screwed up my first impression, so I have to make an awesome second impression. What better way than to rob an impossible-to-rob bank?”
“Look, I know it’s dangerous what we’re asking you to do, but there’s no need to go and make it a suicide mission.”
“That’s the thing – we don’t know if it’s a suicide mission until I figure it out. I need to do some more thinking, more recon.”
She shook her head. “I knew you were stupid. I just didn’t realize you were crazy, too.”
“Crazy like a fox.”
“Whatever. I’m going to need an update on your plans as soon as you formulate them –
“Great,” I interrupted. “And I’m going to need five million in gold.”
“I told you, that’s impossible.”
“Yet you expect me to do the impossible and spin gold out of shit. You want me to prosecute the damn case in court, too, or can I get at least a little help?”
She glared at me. “…I’ll see what I can do.”
“Good.”
“I’ll be checking in with you every day or two. Don’t do anything stupid.”
“Who, me?” I said sarcastically. “The guy who got framed by the FBI, do something stupid? Never gonna happen.”
She shook her head, got up from the chair, and headed for the door. “Jimmy.”
“Yeah?”
“Be careful, okay?”
“Why, because you don’t want to lose five million in gold?” I said peevishly.
“No… because I was the person who interviewed Ian… and I was the one who found his body after the Russians got to him. I don’t want to find yours.”
A chill crept down my back.
“Take care of yourself,” she said, and slipped out the door.
Suddenly a window popped up:
Arkova has left the private chat room.
Do you wish to leave the private chat room?
I sat there for a long time in the eerie silence before I chose Accept.
43
I met my friends the next morning outside the miner’s shop. Slothfart and Russell both looked massively hung over, but they both had enough pep to heckle me and Jen.
“Wooo-hoo!” they catcalled us as we walked up to the shop. “What did you two do last night?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Jen smirked.
“Come on Jimmy, tell us you sealed the deal!” Russell grinned.
“Well, I stabbed her a couple of times…”
Both Russell and Slothfart stared at me blankly at first, then with rapidly dawning horror.
“Whaaaaa?”
“Jimmy, that’s the wrong kind of kinky,” Russell admonished me.
“Dude, that’s messed up.”
“Relax, you dumbasses. We dueled,” Jen explained.
Slothfart looked over at me with an expression like somebody had just told him they’d given away all their lottery ticket winnings to ease the national debt. “You could’ve gone on a date with her, or to nudie bars with us – and instead you fought each other?”
Russell shook his head sadly. “Jimmy, you and me gotta have a talk about what to do with a bird once you get her alone.”
Jen pointed at both of them. “Here’s a hint: don’t hang out with ones who expect to be paid for getting naked.”
“I’ll have you know we were supporting higher education!” Russell protested merrily.
“How the hell were you doing that?”
“Many of those beautiful naked elven birds were working their way through college!”
“Yeah, man – and the rest were hot single elf moms with digital elf kids to support!” Slothfart added.
Jen just rolled her eyes. Then she frowned and pointed at Slothfart’s hand. “Seth – why’s your finger blue?”
She was right – a band of blue about an inch wide circled his ring finger.
Slothfart quickly hid his hand behind his back with a sheepish look.
Russell started laughing uproariously. “He stuck it up a dark elf’s bum!”
“No I didn’t,” Slothfart growled.
“Then what happened?” Jen asked.
He sighed. “Remember that +100 critical strike ring I bought?”
“…yeah?”
“It didn’t really work so well.”
“You could say it was so bad that it blue!” Russell howled, then fell over and started rolling around in the street laughing at his pun.
Slothfart didn’t find it so funny.
“I could have told you cheap jewelry discolors your skin,” Jen said. “It’s just that it usually turns your skin green.”
“I wish it’d done that,” the orc grumbled. “At least then it would blend in.”
Richard showed up, and we all went to find the dwarf miner with the golden ‘?’ over his head. He set us up with a convoy of three wagons, all manned by dwarves, and we walked beside them on foot as we all exited the city to the north – opposite of where we’d entered the previous day.
The dwarves ignored us, mostly. I guess they were sort of cold towards us, but there wasn’t any outright hostility on their part.
“I thought dwarves and people like us didn’t get along,” I said in a quiet voice.
“By ‘people like us’ you mean orcs, frost elves, revenants, trolls, and goblins?” Jen asked.
I nodded.
“Well, they’re not exactly letting us ride next to them on their wagons, now are they,” Richard pointed out.
“And they’re givin’ me the stink-eye!” Russell said. He didn’t sound too upset by it, though.
“This is a neutral zone,” Jen said. “So they’re willing to associate with us – especially if there’s money on the line.”
“The Almighty Dollar,” Richard said. “The god to which all corporations and NPCs ultimately bow.”
The convoy made its way down into a low-lying area of land outside the city. The grasses of the plains gave away to more rugged terrain, including steep embankments and ravines cut into the ground by rivers that had long since dried up.
We were about two miles outside the city when an arrow hit the side of one of the wagons. THOCK!
“Take cover!” Jen yelled. “We’re under attack!”
I went into Stealth. Apparently I could still do so because I hadn’t personally been attacked yet.
A window suddenly popped up:
Protect the Supply Line
The mining camp’s convoy is under attack! Defend them from the unseen forces attacking, and you will be handsomely rewarded!
Experience points: 2000 XP
2 Gold
“All right,” Slothfart yelled, “let’s get this party started!”
More arrows hit the side of the wagon. The dwarves all dove off the wagons onto the other side, though one didn’t move fast enough. He screamed as an arrow hit him in the back, and he fell off the wagon and thudded to the ground.
“Russell, Richard, Seth, behind the wagons!” Jen yelled. “Richard, heal the dwarf! Jimmy – ”
But I didn’t have to be told what to do. I immediately hit Fleet Foot an
d rushed across the terrain while invisible.
I headed in the direction the arrows had been coming from. Within 200 feet I found them: a small group of human archers with the lower parts of their face obscured by black bandanas.
They were all Level 15. Nothing I couldn’t handle individually, but five of them at one time wasn’t a good idea – so I withdrew behind a boulder about 40 feet away from them and open up the chat window.
5 humans 200 feet out from the wagons, I typed. Send Russell and do ice storm if you can. Here I go.
I hit send, then pulled out my throwing knives – all while still in Stealth.
I threw a knife and hit one bandit in the back – and only one, by design. If I hit all five, they would have all come after me. But if I could draw the Aggro on one, maybe two, that would be enough for me to handle.
The guy I hit screamed. He looked around in anger, but of course I was in Stealth, so he couldn’t see anything.
“Somebody stabbed me!” he yelled. He tried reaching around to pull out the knife but couldn’t quite reach it.
The bandits whipped around with their bows and arrows at the ready, but of course they saw nothing.
The apparent leader of the group yanked the blade out of my victim’s back. “It’s nothing, you fool.”
He was pretty close to right about that. I didn’t knock many hit points off the guy; I basically just did enough damage to get his attention.
“Take Horst with you,” the leader continued as he pointed straight at my boulder. “It’s probably some fool hiding in the wilds.”
You would think that in real life, if there was somebody throwing knives at a group of five thieves, they would all go after the guy attacking them from the rear.
But videogame logic wasn’t like that, I’d learned. Unless you got real close to a bunch of mobs, or ending up attacking all of them at once, they wouldn’t come after you. Just the one you had attacked.
The stab-ee and ‘Horst’ both left the others, drew some short swords, and walked towards me (still invisible). They were almost to the boulder and I was just about to attack when I heard a certain screaming goblin.
There was a clang of metal as Russell’s shield slammed into the three archers and knocked them to the ground.
My two guys turned around. Just as about they were about to run and help their buddies, I lunged forward and did a Shadow Strike into the back of the first guy I stabbed.
He screamed again, and his friend Horst freaked out.
I kept stabbing, staying invisible and constantly draining the hit points from the guy.
Horst swung out blindly with his short sword and clipped me, at which point I was forced out of Stealth.
“Revenant!” Horst screamed as he tried to stick me again.
I activated Extreme Dodge from my control panel, which meant I had 10 seconds of evading whatever they threw at me. I successfully sidestepped Horst’s blows as I continued to stab his buddy. Within seconds the first guy was dead, and then I started in on Horst. By the time Extreme Dodge ran out, he was down to 20%, and he only nicked me a couple of times before I finished him off.
Suddenly I heard a massive crackle of ice from overhead, and crystal stalactites began to rain down from the sky. I took cover behind the boulder and peeked around the edge to see Russell crouching underneath his shield, easily weathering the storm – but the other three bandits weren’t so lucky. By the time the attack was over, they were down to about 10% of their hit points. Russell threw his hammer and finished them off with ease.
Jennifer came running up. “You guys okay?”
“Right as rain!” Russell looked back at the boulder. “Hey, Jimmy – you good, mate?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I got two of ‘em back here.”
Russell’s eyes widened. “Really?”
He ran around the boulder to see.
“What, you don’t trust me?” I kidded him.
“Wow!” Russell said as he surveyed the bodies. “I’m impressed!”
“Thanks,” I beamed.
“So did our practice last night help any?” Jen asked with a smile.
“Absolutely.”
Russell shook his head. “You still should’ve given her the old in-out, Jimmy.”
He was rewarded with an ice blast to the back of his head.
“Where are the others?” I asked Jen.
“We left them back at the convoy in case somebody else attacked. Let’s loot the bodies and get back.”
We did as she suggested, went back to the wagons, and got the convoy on their way again. Richard had been able to heal the dwarf who’d been shot, much to the delight of the others – and that opened up the floodgates of goodwill. The dwarves tapped a cask of ale they were carrying along with the other supplies, and passed around flagons with hefty cheers. Russell and Slothfart partook profusely, which endeared them to the dwarves even more.
“Dude, dwarves ROCK,” Slothfart said as he polished off his third drink.
“Aye, me boyo!” one of the dwarves hollered, and slapped Slothfart on his back from his perch up on the wagon. That was the only way a three-foot-tall dwarf was going to slap an orc on the back.
“Yer nah so bad for a Odin-damned orc!” another dwarf roared with laughter.
“Aye, yer ALL nah so bad for fookin’ Darklings!” another one hooted. “Especially your ice wench!”
Neither comment went over quite so well.
Slothfart pulled his head back like WHAT did that asshole just say?
Jen frowned.
Richard just muttered “Oh no” under his breath.
There was a moment of awkward silence as our group looked around at the dwarves, who realized that they might have gone a little too far. I don’t think they really cared so much about insulting us as they were thinking we might attack them. I saw a few of them edge their hands towards their weapons as everyone tensed up.
Russell broke the ice.
“Hahaha – I’ll drink to that! Gimme another one, you bloody bastards!” the goblin cheered.
The dwarves burst into howls of laughter, and an inter-species crisis was avoided – with the help of a great deal more alcohol.
44
There were a number of adventures along the way to the mine. I won’t go into all of them, because it was a massive, intricate storyline with lots of moving parts. However, there were a number of things that happened that were important for what came later.
After weathering three more attacks – one by another group of bandits, another by a giant, and the third by a pack of two-headed wolves – we made it to the encampment without anybody having died.
The mining camp was at the bottom of a large, dusty canyon carved into the earth. The mine itself was a giant cave at the base of one of the cliffs. Dwarves moved heavy wooden carts along iron rails, dumped their ore-filled contents, and then went back in.
As the convoy descended down the road into the camp, the dwarf foreman walked up to the wagons. He was covered with a film of thin dust, except for the tracks washed away by beads of sweat rolling down his forehead.
“Welcome to the Faloride Mines! We were thinkin’ ya’d been slaughtered by bandits and we’d all die o’ thirst!”
We all knew his comments were just part of the game. There must have been a regular rotation of convoys coming in every few hours – after all, another round of players had been talking to the miner about the exact same quest when we left – but we went with it anyway.
“They tried,” Jen said, “but it’s nothing we couldn’t handle.”
“Good ta hear!” the dwarf said. “We’ve had ourselves a bit of a problem with necromancers, and were wonderin’ if you could take care of ‘em for us. They keep makin’ skeletons that’re harassin’ the supply lines and attackin’ the camp at night. I’ve lost three of my best miners ‘cause of those infernal bastards.”
“Necromancers?” I whispered to Jen.
“Wizards that raise the dead to act as their fo
ot soldiers,” Jen whispered back. “Hence the skeletons he’s talking about.”
I looked down at the bones poking out of my forearms. “Uh… is that going to be a problem?”
She smiled. “Different kind of dead guys from you. They don’t have souls – you do.”
A new window appeared:
Protect The Mining Camp
A band of enemies are menacing the dwarves’ mining camp northwest. Scout out their location and use the grenades to destroy the necromancers’ Dark Ossuaries.
Experience points: 5000 XP
5 Gold
“They have grenades?” I asked, confused. Cannons were one thing, but I hadn’t seen anything to suggest such advanced weaponry. Well, not of the non-supernatural kind, anyway.
In answer, the foreman went over to a crate on the nearest wagon and used a crowbar to pry off the top. Sitting inside the box, nestled in a bed of yellow straw, were a bunch of metal egg-shaped objects with skeleton keys stuck in them. They weren’t exactly like the grooved grenades you think of American soldiers using, but they were fairly close.
“Grenades!” Russell hooted enthusiastically.
“Aye, these ‘uns will destroy anything within a ten foot radius,” the dwarf announced. “Just pull the pin and yah got ten seconds until it goes off. And if yah agree to take out the Dark Ossuaries creatin’ all the buggers harassin’ the camp, I’ll give you each three o’ these puppies,” the dwarf said, holding up one of the grenades.
“What are Dark Ossuaries?” I whispered to Jen.
“They’re basically enchanted altars that create living skeletons,” Jen explained. “They’re a pain in the ass. The skeletons may be trash mobs, but the Dark Ossuaries create a hell of a lot of them.”
“Trash mobs?”
“Low level NPCs. They’re easy to kill, but Dark Ossuaries suck because they basically overwhelm you with numbers. You can’t fight their skeletons for long because they’ll gang up on you by the dozens and slowly whittle away your hit points. Usually your only choices are to take out their source, pick them off from a distance, or run away. Unless you can do an Area of Effect spell and wipe out a ton of them at one time, kind of what I do with my Ice Storm spell. But if you don’t have an AoE attack, that’s what the grenades are for.”
