by Holly Martin
‘I need time to think.’
‘Look, you’re my best friend and I don’t want to lose you. Whatever it is, whatever I’ve done, let me fix it, give me the chance to put things right.’
She smiled, sadly. ‘Some things can’t be fixed.’
She could see he was getting annoyed at the lack of explanation from her and quite rightly so. ‘Freya—’
‘Look, I promise I’ll tell you in a few days. Just give me some time.’
And she would tell him. She owed him that much. And if she really was leaving then it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same way. She wouldn’t have the embarrassment of seeing him every day. She just had to figure out whether leaving the island was something she really wanted to do or whether she could continue to live here after her declaration of love and subsequent rejection.
He stared at her and then down at his untouched cake. ‘If you want space or time alone, then I can do that. But please don’t make any rash decisions. And whatever you decide, however long you need, your flat above the shop will always be your home. Don’t stay at Eden’s to avoid me. You have your separate front door, so you won’t need to come through the shop at all and I promise I won’t come up there.’
She nodded. ‘Thank you.’
He hesitated for a moment and then squeezed her hand and left her alone. As soon as he’d walked out the shop, she put her head in her hands. What a mess.
Chapter Nine
Rome sat in the shop as he soldered the copper foiling, joining the smaller pieces of glass together for the mural for the school. The shop was quiet, too quiet. Without Freya there to talk to or to listen to her singing along to the radio, he felt like a limb had been severed. He missed her and it hadn’t even been a day.
The night before had held so much promise, he felt sure that she had feelings for him too, but it had been over before it had started and he still had no idea why.
But this was what he had been afraid of. He had deliberately held back from starting anything with Freya because he was afraid that if it ended between them he would lose her and he simply couldn’t bear the thought of that. It had been better to continue as things were, having her in his life as his best friend, than risk dating her and losing her.
And now he’d lost her anyway.
She wouldn’t leave the island, she loved it here. The beaches, the walks over the hills, the close-knit community, this was her home. His sisters had become her friends, his parents adored her, she wouldn’t leave. Whatever this was, it was a blip, and in a few days she would calm down and forget all this silly talk about leaving. Even if she didn’t come back to work with him, if she stayed on the island then he could cope with that. He looked around the empty shop and knew he was lying to himself, he needed her here.
The shop door opened and his head shot up, hoping it was Freya. He was disappointed to see that it was Dougie, swinging his bag over his shoulder having clearly just arrived on the island. He had a big grin on his face and was obviously ridiculously pleased to be back on his home island again. Ordinarily, Rome would have been happy to see him but he was too fed up about the situation with Freya to spare his best friend a smile. Fortunately, Dougie didn’t care.
‘Alright buddy, how’s it going?’ Dougie said.
‘Good thanks. Busy.’
Dougie didn’t even bat an eye at that subtle attempt to be left alone. ‘That’s good, nothing better than a successful business. I see your Instagram pictures from time to time. I think your lovely Freya is trying to make you into a sex object. Where is she anyway?’
‘She’s… taking a break.’
Dougie looked at him speculatively. ‘From you or from the job?’
Rome scowled. ‘She’s helping Eden out for a few days.’
‘Oh. So it is a break from you. Well that at least explains the scowl. What did you do?’
‘I didn’t do anything.’
‘Well maybe that’s the problem, maybe you need to get off your ass and do something, the poor girl has been waiting around for years for you to do something. She’s not going to wait around forever.’
Rome stared at him. ‘What are you talking about?’
Dougie shrugged as he dumped his bag on the floor. ‘I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just don’t take too long about it. I’m going to leave this here. Eden’s spare key wasn’t where it normally is so I couldn’t get in. I’m going to go and see her so I’ll come back and collect this later.’
‘Maybe she doesn’t want you to stay with her,’ Rome said.
‘Why wouldn’t she want me to stay with her?’ Dougie said, as if he couldn’t possibly believe that someone wouldn’t want him around.
‘Because you’re a pain in the arse.’
Dougie quite clearly let the insult wash off his shoulders. ‘Well, if she doesn’t want me, then I’ll come and stay with you.’
‘Or you could stay in a hotel.’
Dougie clapped him hard on the back. ‘Where would be the fun in that? I can’t annoy you if I’m staying in a hotel. Beer tonight?’
‘I suppose.’
Dougie turned and walked towards the door. ‘Let’s face it, without Freya to occupy you, you’d just be sitting at home with a face like a wet weekend. You might as well come out and sulk rather than sitting alone and being miserable. I’ll get Isaac to come out too, so you can bond with your future brother-in-law.’
‘Sounds like a great evening,’ Rome said, dryly.
Dougie waved one hand in the air and disappeared out the door.
Rome sighed. Dougie was right, he needed something to distract himself, because without Freya he was going crazy.
Freya was sitting with two children, helping them with their pottery painting when Dougie walked in. Having only been on the island for a few years, she didn’t know Dougie that well, she’d only met him the handful of times when he’d come over to visit Eden, Rome and Bella. But what she knew of him was that he was laidback, very likeable and absolutely adored Eden. It wasn’t hard to see why Eden was still in love with him twelve years after he had left.
‘Hey Freya.’ Dougie bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. ‘I’ve just seen your boss. He looks absolutely devastated. Would that have anything to do with you working here instead of working there?’
Freya wasn’t prepared for such an immediate attack. ‘I’m… just helping Eden out for a few days.’
‘And that’s why Rome looks like his heart has been broken again. When are you two just going to admit that you love each other?’
‘He’s not in love with me,’ Freya said.
Dougie cocked his head slightly, studying her. ‘Funny that your first instinct wasn’t to deny that you’re in love with him.’
Freya stared at him, not having any other words. If Dougie had picked that up so easily did Rome know too?
Eden appeared at Dougie’s side. ‘Hey, leave her alone.’
Dougie turned to look at her, his face splitting into a huge grin, and he immediately pulled her into a giant hug, crushing her against him.
Eden’s face was a picture as she leaned her head against his chest. Her expression was somewhere between pure heaven to be in his arms and pure hell too. Freya watched her subtly inhale his scent, her fingers tightening against his back. Every time Dougie came back, Eden went through this hell, falling in love with him all over again. Nothing had ever happened between them, as far as Freya was aware, mainly because Dougie lived in America and was only ever here for a week or so each time he visited. Eden tried to tell herself that she didn’t love him and whenever he went back she always vowed that it was time that she got over him once and for all, but the next time he came over, it happened all over again.
He pulled back to look at her, still with a big smile on his face, clearly completely unaware of Eden’s torment. For someone who was so tuned in to other people’s emotions, and Freya’s feelings for Rome, it was strange that he hadn’t picked up on Eden’s feelings for him. Unless he
knew exactly how Eden felt for him and didn’t want to do anything about it because he didn’t feel the same way. Was that how it was for Rome – he knew how Freya felt but didn’t want to do anything about it? The thought of that was enough to make her want to curl up and die.
‘How you doing, buddy, I missed you,’ Dougie said, softly. Freya was clearly forgotten, he had eyes only for Eden.
‘I’m doing good, I’m glad you’re home.’
‘Your spare key wasn’t under the toadstool like it normally is. I couldn’t get in.’
‘I have no idea where my spare key is, it disappeared after the last time you stayed with me. You probably took it back to America.’
‘Ha. You’re probably right.’
‘Besides Freya is staying with me for a while, so you’ll have to stay in a hotel.’
‘I’ll sleep on the sofa.’
‘Don’t be daft. Surely you’d be more comfortable in a proper bed. My little cottage is made for one or two, not three. It will get very crowded.’
‘I don’t mind crowded,’ Dougie said, with a grin.
‘Actually, I’ll probably go back home tonight,’ Freya said. Rome had made it very clear that he wouldn’t bother her in her flat and there really was no point hiding out from him on an island as small as Hope Island.
Eden gave her a brief look of despair before fixing the smile back on her face.
Dougie shrugged. ‘There you go, problem solved. We can be roomies again.’
‘That’s great,’ Eden said, her voice belying her words. Dougie didn’t seem to notice.
‘Now we’ve sorted out that issue, let’s sort out Rome and Freya’s issue,’ Dougie said, sitting down next to Freya. He grabbed a piece of paper and painted a big red heart then looked at Freya with a patient look that a psychiatrist might give a client. ‘Tell me your problems, I’m listening.’
Eden clipped him round the ear. ‘Go on, get out of my shop. Here’s my key. You can cook dinner tonight, I want Chinese so you better go and get the food.’
Dougie grinned as he stood back up. ‘Your wish is my command. I promised Rome I’d take him out for a beer to drown his sorrows but I can certainly cook for you before I go out.’ He kissed her on the cheek. ‘See you later, beautiful.’
He gave Freya a wave and walked towards the door. Freya watched Eden, her eyes filled with adoration for him until he was out of sight, then Eden sat down at the table with a groan, letting her head fall into her hands.
‘God, I hate him.’
Freya laughed. ‘No you don’t.’
‘I know, and that’s the problem.’
‘I can stay with you if you want, force him to go to a hotel.’
‘I think Dougie plans on staying with me regardless, so it won’t make any difference if you’re there. Go home, make your peace with Rome. One of us should be happy.’
She watched Eden for a moment. ‘How will you feel if Dougie really does come back here for good?’
‘I honestly don’t know. Delighted, sad, over the moon, fearful,’ Eden said, quietly. ‘I love him and to have him back is wonderful and heartbreaking all at once. I suppose ultimately I’ll be happy to have him home. He was and still is my best friend above anything else and I need to remember that. It’s not his fault that I fell in love with him.’
Freya sighed. Eden was right. She needed to remember that when it came to Rome too. Eden stood up and went back behind the counter and Freya watched her go. They were both a mess when it came to men.
Freya wanted to give Rome a chance to leave the shop before she went home that night. Although she had a separate front door to her flat so she could avoid the shop, she would still prefer not to run into him so she delayed going home after Pots and Paints closed and went for a walk along Buttercup Beach instead. She loved this beach and although it got quite busy in the summer because of all the tourists it was quiet at this time of day and she loved seeing the golden sands stretch out in front of her, curling along the entire length of the island. The sea was calm here, somehow sheltered from the bigger white-crested waves that rolled beyond the reaches of the island.
She kicked off her shoes and walked barefoot along the damp sand until she reached the far end of the island and climbed over the rocks to reach Berry Point. She sat down on the largest, flattest stone that jutted out into the sea. It wasn’t long before she spotted the dolphins and porpoises as they crested the waves, swimming in their little pods, some of them jumping clean out of the water. It didn’t matter what time of year it was, the dolphins were always there. Most times she came out there she would see Sammy the seal too. There were lots of seals around the island, but Sammy, identifiable by a black spot on his silvery grey head, was a lot tamer than the others and would always hang around where the men were fishing in the hope of being fed any fish heads or smaller fish that had been caught. Why bother trying to catch fish himself if one flash of his beautiful liquid black eyes was enough to make even the hardiest of fishermen cave and hand over any tidbits?
She sighed as she leaned back on her elbows and watched the gold-dappled waves.
She had sworn to herself that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. She wouldn’t build her life around the man she loved because when it all went wrong she would be left with nothing. But despite those promises she had done it again. Though maybe it didn’t have to end like it had last time.
It was so beautiful here, could she really contemplate leaving? So things hadn’t worked out how she had hoped, did that mean that she would run away again after she had built a life for herself here? The night before she had been in a mess, not sure what to do. The thought of still seeing Rome every day hurt. Even if she wasn’t living in her flat or working with him, she’d see him around the island, see him with other women. In a moment of desperation the night before, she had started looking for jobs working with glass and had been surprised to find a glass studio in St Ives in Cornwall that was looking for an assistant to cover maternity leave for six months. They produced mainly glass mosaic work but the skills Rome had taught her were more than enough to equip her to do the job. Feeling at her lowest, she had applied for the job but now she was regretting it. She couldn’t leave. Rome was her best friend and she didn’t want to lose that.
She stood up and dusted herself down then clambered back over the rocks and up the track that would lead her back to the main high street.
All the shops were closed now, so the street was pretty quiet. There were a few people making their way towards the pubs and restaurants but mostly it was deserted.
She walked by one of the pubs, The Smuggler’s Inn, which was quite popular with the younger crowd, mainly because of the large beer garden down the side, with large outdoor heaters taking the edge off the cooler evenings, and pretty lights and fountains that peppered the perimeter.
A loud laugh caught her attention and she immediately spotted Dougie – with his red curly hair, he wasn’t hard to miss – and of course he was sitting at a table with Rome and Isaac. Rome had his back to her so she could only see the gorgeous black curls but what held her attention was the pretty girl standing at their table talking to them. She had her hand on Rome’s shoulder as she talked and laughed along with them. Freya couldn’t see Rome’s face to be able to tell whether his expression was the fake one he had bestowed on Kitty the day before or the natural smile he had given the waitress at Envy the night before but she didn’t really need to. Jealousy burned in her gut. He would never be hers and every time she saw him with another girl it would be unbearable.
She hurried on before they saw her, making her way quickly back towards her flat.
She couldn’t hate Rome for this or be angry at him, none of this was his fault. He was her best friend and for him that hadn’t changed.
Remembering how Eden had been with Dougie today made her think. Poor Eden who had never fallen out of love with Dougie in twelve years, always in her heart hoping that one day he would return the feeling. It must have been
hell and Freya knew she couldn’t hang around for the next twelve years waiting for Rome to fall in love with her too. She needed to fall out of love with him and maybe six months off the island working in St Ives would be enough to do that. Then she could return to the place she called home and just be best friends with him. And maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t hurt any more that she wasn’t good enough for him.
Chapter Ten
Rome carefully removed the fused glass pieces from the kiln. Some of them had worked beautifully, some hadn’t. That was always the risk with fused glass. After working with glass in many different ways for too many years to count, he had a pretty good idea what worked and what didn’t, but fused glass was always a law unto itself. Sometimes a piece of coloured dichroic glass reacted weirdly with the normal glass and it didn’t melt as he thought it would but sometimes the resulting mistake was a lot better than he had intended.
The glass was still warm to the touch so he left them on a tray to cool down and returned his attention to the cut pieces of glass that he was preparing for the school mural.
Even with Freya helping him, he’d been worried about getting the piece finished in time. Now, without her there, he was going to have to work all hours to get it finished, which was why he’d left Dougie and Isaac after two beers and returned to the workshop to work on it some more.
He had been there for several hours, his back was aching and his eyes were getting tired, but as he was manning the table at the craft fair tomorrow, he knew he wouldn’t have time to do anything the next day.
He still couldn’t believe how badly it had all gone wrong with Freya. Dougie seemed to think Freya had feelings for Rome and he had thought that too, especially given how close they had been over the last few days. But if that was the case why would she quit her job and not even want to speak to him?
