The Bastard Takes a Wife

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The Bastard Takes a Wife Page 18

by Lindy Dale


  Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the box containing my ring. Looking deeply into my eyes, he kept a very straight face.

  “Millie McIntyre, will you do the honour of marrying me? Again?”

  “I think we’ve just broken some sort of record for the amount of times you can get proposed to by the same man for the same marriage,” I giggled, as he took the ring and put it back in its rightful place on my finger. “But the answer is ‘yes’, Sam Brockton. Yes, I will marry you and your silly rugby team.”

  “Can we do it next Saturday?”

  “We’ll never get it organised by then.”

  Sam sat up. “Leave it to me. I’ll organise it. All you have to do is get on the plane.”

  Then he kissed me. A big knee-trembling, melt your bones kiss that made me realize all over again why I loved him. It was lucky I was sitting down.

  Chapter 23

  Much to my absolute delight and surprise, the day of our wedding went off without a hitch. During the week, Sam had been very secretive about his plans but by the time I arrived in Lombok on Friday afternoon, I could see he’d been hard at work making my every wish come true.

  The B & B was bustling with activity. Extra staff had been employed so that each room had its own private butler and the regular house staff had cleaned the house until it sparkled. Out in the garden, an open-air marquee had been erected for the party afterwards. Swags of gauzy white fabric fluttered against the backdrop of the garden and a long red carpet designated its entrance from the beach. Inside, it had one long table for all the guests decorated in a tropical theme with frangipani branches in tall vases along the centre. Two gilded chairs graced one end where Sam and I would sit. On the back of each, Sam had had custom signage made. I couldn’t help but laugh at his final attempt at a joke. One chair read ‘Mr. Right’ and the other ‘Mrs. Always Right’. A small table graced the corner ready and waiting for the ‘new’ scaled down version of our wedding cake ~ another surprise I wasn’t to see until the day ~ along with a dance floor and stage decorated with clear fairy lights and mountains of candles.

  “Oh my God,” I gasped, as he gave me a tour, revealing surprise after surprise. “This is gorgeous. How did you ever do it in such a short amount of time?”

  He’d been gone from Perth for the entire week but still, I couldn’t fathom such a large amount of planning in such a short space of time.

  “I like, totally, helped him,” chirruped Kirby who had appeared from behind a curtain. “I’m on holidays anyway and after I, like, saw how it easy it was when you had that Angus man, I thought ‘Kirby, you could totally be a wedding planner.’ So this is, like, my first official function.” She beamed at me proudly. “Do you, like, totally love it? I sent out personal invitations and, like, rang everyone to double check they received their flight and accommodation packages. And I cancelled everything in Perth for you, well except for the photographer and videographer. They’re flying over tomorrow and the band is, like, totally coming from the Sheraton in Kuta. Sam’s organised the overflow accommodation and the food and everything.”

  “Flowers too?”

  “All sorted. Your bouquet is being, like, freighted from the international florist in Kuta in the morning. With the buttonholes and corsages for the parents and Sam.”

  I opened my mouth to reply but words would not come out. Stunned. That was what I was. Kirby and Sam had organised my wedding and it was going to be perfect. “I love it. I just can’t believe it.”

  I kissed them both.

  “Neither could I,” Sam said. “I always pegged Kirby as being a bit of an airhead.”

  “God, you’re an arse,” she smiled.

  “So you’re going into business for yourself?” I asked.

  “Uh-ha. I’ve, like totally, had enough of David Jones. It isn’t fun any more. And this is way funner. You don’t mind if I use some of your wedding pics for my website do you? I want everything, like, up and running by the time I get to the Bridal Expo next month.”

  “You have a website?”

  “Yep. Here’s my card.” She flipped a pink glittered business card from out of her shirt pocket. “I’m going to be like J. Lo in The Wedding Planner only cooler and not, like, Latino.”

  Oh. My. God.

  “I think I need a drink.”

  Sam led us over to the verandah, where we sat at the table overlooking the lawn. The late afternoon sun shone through the trees and glistened on the water of the newly installed pool. Glasses of fruit punch appeared in front of us. How had this happened? Kirby and Sam had morphed into the wedding planning dynamic duo. It was unbelievable. I shook my head and took a sip of my punch. It was probably a dream. In a few minutes, I’d wake up in my bed and find that Sam had fucked up our whole wedding or ordered everything in Hornets colours or a Guard of Honor made by Western Force players or something. Then I’d really have to kill him.

  *****

  The next morning, the morning of the ‘Big Day’ I was a bundle of nerves. I couldn’t sit still, I couldn’t eat and despite the fact that I had nothing in my stomach I still managed to throw up three times.

  In her role as wedding planner, Kirby had organised hair and makeup for myself, Paige ~ who had arrived with complete with tiara and high heels ~ and Alex. It took every scrap of patience I had to sit while they worked on me. All I wanted was to get married and I wanted it to happen now.

  “Are you okay?” Alex asked, as she did up the last of the ivory buttons on the back of my gown. The dress designed by Lisa Ho, altered to fit those sneaky kilos that had crept on, was the only remaining item from our previously organised wedding. “You’re awfully jumpy, Chica.”

  “I’m fine. Just excited and a bit nervy.”

  Alex’s hand came to rest on my bare shoulder. “You’re not having second thoughts again?”

  “Definitely not. I’m ready to get married. I’m a bit queasy, that’s all.”

  “Have a glass of bubbly. That’ll do the trick.” She went to a table by the window and took a bottle of vintage Moet from the ice bucket, filling up a glass. Handing it to me, then filled her own.

  I stood with the glass in my hand as Alex turned back. “Here’s to you and Sam. It might not be a match made in Heaven but you tamed the bastard.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so. That man is gooey for you. He loves you more than the bloody Western Force. And from the look on his face this morning, I’d say it’d be a sad and sorry person who tries to come between you and him tying the knot today.”

  “I can’t believe we’re doing this. I thought it’d never happen.”

  “I can’t believe Sam grew some balls and stood up that witch of a mother of his. You should’ve heard her going on about the venue and the cost and what people would think.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He told her he loved you and if this was what you wanted then you’d have it. Then he told her to shut up and enjoy the day and if she couldn’t she was to stay at the hotel because nothing was going to ruin this for you.”

  I grabbed a tissue. God, she was going to make me cry. “He really does love me.”

  “Yep. His mum started on about the place settings, and I swear to God, if I weren’t such a lady I would have slapped her one myself. But Sam just glared at her and then he told Kirby to move her place card to the other end of the table for the dinner. She won’t have anyone to whine to now except Womble and Rambo and neither of them will listen after the red wine comes out.” She gave a little chuckle and then putting down her glass, smoothed a hair on the side of my head. She added a small amount of spray to keep it in place.

  “Thanks for being here for me, Alex. I know I haven’t been much fun lately.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You’re my best friend.”

  Leaning forward, she gathered me into what was left of her ample bosom, the cleavage of which was well and truly on show today. As gingerly as I could, I returned the hug. Alex was my b
est friend in the world. No wedding planner or fitness instructor would ever be able to change that.

  A quiet knock interrupted our moment.

  “Can I come in?”

  It was Kirby, looking very Wedding Planner in a two piece fitted pink business suit and beige pumps. On the lapel she sported a badge with her name and title embellished with diamantes. The white blonde locks that always hung around her shoulders and down her back in waves had been combed into a stylish bun like the one Carrie wore in Sex and the City and on her wrist she wore a large white gold Ralph Lauren timepiece.

  “Wow,” I said.

  Kirby gave a little twirl. “You like? I thought, as your, like, planner, I should dress for the occasion. People totally take more notice of you when you look, like, professional. I didn’t want to, like, look like a ditz trying to give orders about cake.”

  “Are you going to wear that all day?”

  “Of course not! Only until we’re seated for dinner. Then I’ll sneak off and change into my maxi dress. I have this darling little Collette Dinnigan halter. It totally fits the theme. Oh… I almost forgot.” She handed me a large black shopping bag. Inside was a shoebox with my name on it.

  “What’s this?”

  “Sam’s wedding gift to you. There’s one for Alex too.” She handed a package to Alex.

  I pulled the box out of the bag and laid it on the bed. I had no idea what it was but knowing Sam a shoebox didn’t necessarily indicate a pair of shoes. And what sort of wedding gift would that be?

  Lifting the lid, I removed the tissue paper. Lying there was a beautiful pair of silver glitter sandals. The sparkly leather straps were decorated with crystals in the shape of love hearts. Tied to the buckle was a note.

  To my darling Millie,

  I love you for the girl you are, right down to your glitter sandals.

  See you at the altar.

  Sam x

  “He said he wants you to wear them,” Kirby instructed.

  She didn’t have to ask twice. Off came the satin ballet flats I’d chosen in a hurry and wasn’t overly happy with and on went the sandals. Alex did the buckles up and I stood before the mirror with my toes peaking out from under my dress, their silver glittered nails winking in the morning light. At last, I truly felt like me.

  “Where’s Paige?” I asked. “It’s time to get this show on the road.”

  From the bathroom, I heard a muffled reply. “Did thomeone call me?”

  She walked into the room, her tiny tiara gleaming in her curls and the high heels she’d refused to ditch even though we were getting married in sand firmly on her feet.

  “How do I look?”

  She picked up her posy and stood in her best ballet posture.

  “What’s that in your mouth?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Paige!”

  “Ith’s nothing. Leth’s go. Tham’s waiting.”

  I walked over and took her chin in my hand. A set of white molded teeth winked up at me. “You are not wearing a flipper to my wedding, Paige.”

  “But I’ll look like a rethard without it.”

  “No, you won’t. You’ll look like a seven-year-old girl with pretty dress and smile with a hole in it. Now get that thing out of your mouth.”

  Reluctantly, she pulled the fake teeth out. A small slobber of spit dripped toward her dress and I caught it with my tissue.

  “Can I at least wear it for the reception?”

  “No.”

  A tiny tear appeared in her eye. Clearly, the stupid thing meant more to her than I’d realised.

  “I’ll tell you what…” Kirby suggested. “If you leave the flipper out when Millie asks, I’ll organise for you to have a special set of photos taken with it in. How about that? Then you can show your friends at school. Deal?”

  “Like my own special sitting? Like Miranda Kerr?”

  “Totally,” Kirby nodded.

  Paige stuffed the flipper into her little clutch. “Cool. Jennifer will totally spew when she knows I had my own photo shoot. I won’t even need a freakin’ flipper to be the winner. Woohoo!”

  “Paige!”

  “What? She’s been going on about meeting One Direction for all of this week. But she’s never had a photo shoot like a real model.”

  Alex picked up our flowers. Kirby opened the door. In one hand I grasped Paige’s and in the other I held my dress.

  “Do you think the photographer will mind if I change and do a few shots in my bathers?” she asked as we reached the stairs. “I’d like a couple on this staircase for my portfolio.”

  Oh. My. God.

  Chapter 24

  The day was perfection. In my silver glitter sandals and custom gown, I walked down the makeshift aisle and onto the beach. Standing in front of the gently lapping waves, Sam looked glorious in his dark suit, the love shining in his eyes. Beside him Johnny, for once, had nothing smart to say.

  As we exchanged our vows, I glanced out the corner of my eye at the intimate gathering. Mum and Dad were there, Adele and Brian, Sam’s mother, sister and father and all of our friends. There were only twenty or so of us in the end but that was all we wanted and despite the fact that the photographers from Women’s Day had mysteriously found our location, they seemed to respect our privacy by staying in the bushes. The only hitch came when one of them screamed during our kiss. He seemed to have been attacked by some of the local insects.

  Later, after the exchange of simple gold bands, we walked back to the house and sat under the open-air marquee for a wedding breakfast that would lead us into a dinner. At some stage, Kirby snuck off and reappeared wearing a pink maxi dress. Her hair was back to normal and a waft of Britney’s latest perfume preceded her. In the middle of the long table, she resumed her seat beside Rambo, who seemed to have developed a newfound respect for his ex-lover now that she was a fully-fledged wedding planner. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her.

  Opposite them, Johnny and Mel sat very close though she was heard to mutter, “Don’t think you’re getting a fucking shag because you’re sitting next to me, Johnny. And take your hand off my fucking knee.”

  “Ah, Mel,” he replied, lovingly tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “You know you want to. By nine o’clock you’ll be gagging for what only I can give you. Again.”

  “There won’t be any gagging in this relationship, you degenerate,” she’d replied. “I don’t give head.”

  Then he’d reached across and whispered something in her ear. This time she smiled. And kissed him.

  When dinner was over, Sam stood to make his speech and say his thanks to our guests. He toasted them one by one ~ a lovely gesture ~ and then his big green eyes came to rest on me.

  “Millie, from the first day I met you, you were nothing but a pain in the arse. You avoided me and annoyed me. You broke my stuff and regularly drenched me with food and alcohol. You hated rugby and you didn’t do fishing or boats. You didn’t even like Bruce Willis. Yet when you laughed, I knew you were the girl for me. Your sense of humour is something I treasure. Your face lights up rooms, your love for everyone in your life makes me glad that I’m a part of it. I can’t imagine ever being without you or anything that could make my life more perfect. You are my bride and the love of my life.” Then he raised his glass. “To Millie, my bride.”

  After the cheering died down, I stood for a little speech of my own.

  “I want to say thank you to everyone for making this the most perfect day ever. I love you, Sam and though you might think nothing could make your life more perfect, I believe something will. Two things, in fact.”

  The table went silent. Every eye was on me.

  “Last week while you were planning our wedding I went to the doctor. He sent me for an ultrasound and its been confirmed that I’m pregnant. With twins.”

  The glass fell from Sam’s hand.

  I think Patricia’s botox stopped working because her eyebrows were last seen heading towards the stratosphere.

  My
mother began to cry. “Twins run in the family, you know,” she admitted.

  “Are you for real?” Sam asked.

  “Yep.”

  Jumping to his feet, he grabbed me and swung me around and around till I almost threw up again. When he stopped, Johnny handed him the hanky he’d had in his pocket to wipe his tears.

  “I don’t understand,” he whispered to me. “How?”

  “Well, when a boy and a girl lay down together…”

  “Don’t be a bitch, Mill’.”

  I pecked his cheek drawing my lips around to his ear, “I’m not positive but do you remember the Full Monty night? We were unprotected.”

  “You were so drunk and hot for it, I didn’t have time to get the condom.”

  I looked around the gathering. Nobody seemed upset by the news.

  “I knew it,” Sasha said. “When the dress wouldn’t fit…. I told Mel you were pregnant.”

  “And the spa day. It was so totally weird for you to, like, go all red and green like that. This explains everything.”

  “The crying and puking….” added Alex. “No wonder you were acting weird. Your hormones were having a field day. I can’t believe we didn’t spot it.”

  Next to us, Paige began to jump up and down on her chair. He tiara flew from her head and landed on top of the cupcake mountain Sam had designed for our wedding cake. In a blue and yellow Western Force theme, each cake was custom decorated with a guest in mind. His, of course, was topped with a miniature rugby ball and mine with a teeny silver sandal.

  “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Paige cried, pumping her fist in the air. “I’m going to be a freakin’ auntie. There’s no way Jennifer can top this one! Woohoo!”

  And, for once, nobody told her to sit down.

  Catch up with Lindy at

  http://www.ladale-writer.blogspot.com

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  http://www.facebook.com/LADale.author

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