“That’s different. Soldiers don’t have a reputation for sex, drugs, and rock and roll. There has to be trust for a relationship to work.” He ran his hand over his head, then scratched that spot on his arm that itched so much lately.
“Now that part I agree on. Why do you keep scratching your arm? Do you have a bite or something? And why are we talking about your ex-girlfriend?”
“You know.” He motioned toward the bed. “This.”
“We had sex, and now you think I’m going to start nagging you about who you’re sleeping with on the road?”
“When you say it like that…” He laughed. “I just mean this was a bad idea.”
“Funny, I thought it was a pretty good fuck.” Jasmine wasn’t smiling, but she didn’t look angry, either. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
“It was pretty good. It was excellent. But that doesn’t change who we are. We have to see each other in the future.”
“And we aren’t adult enough to see each other again without creating drama.”
Drama wasn’t the point he’d been going for, but he didn’t know how to say what he meant. “I don’t want us to be fuck buddies.”
“Okay.”
“I like having you as a friend. I know my sarcasm makes that hard to believe sometimes—”
“Sarcasm? I’d say burying your nose in your phone all the time sends a pretty clear message. We had to endure the loss of our phone service for us to connect.”
“That’s why I think we need to pretend this never happened.”
“I can’t do that.” Jasmine’s voice rose in pitch. “You can’t take back such a beautiful moment. You forget it if you want, but I won’t.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. He was an ass for thinking he could discuss this with her and not make things worse. And now he was stuck with her for the rest of the day. Nowhere to escape to.
And on Christmas day, no less.
He was an ass.
~*~
Dinner with Ned and his wife passed a few hours peacefully, but the distance remained between Joey and Jasmine when they reached their flat for the night.
Jasmine undressed in the dark in the bathroom, washing her face without even caring if she washed off all the eye makeup. She had no energy to deal with Joey. No desire to stay any longer with him in that tiny space. She couldn’t stay anywhere else, though, especially since it would be so immature.
She’d repeatedly said they were grownups and could handle the situation gracefully. Yet she’d love nothing more than a hug from her mom as she cried herself to sleep.
She’d save the crying until she was back in Oakland, though. She’d never let Joey know how bad she felt. How disappointed she was.
~*~
They woke the next morning to sunshine. Splashes of sunshine fought to poke through the clouds, but no rain. Jasmine moved about quietly so she wouldn’t wake Joey. He’d be glad to know they’d be leaving soon. He’d get to sleep on a mattress again.
By the time she cleaned up and dressed, he was awake, his phone in his hand.
“Do we have a signal?” She picked her phone up from the table by the bed.
“Yeah, finally. I’m booking us on a flight late tonight. It’s the soonest I could get.”
“That’s awesome!” That meant she only had one more day to suffer his moodiness. She could sleep for most of the plane flight and not have to fake pleasant conversation.
He was right about one thing. What they’d done was such a mistake. If he’d kept quiet, she could have set him aside with no heartache, even when she had to see him again. Kenzi would be so busy being a wife, she wouldn’t expect Jasmine to be around much. And Joey would probably go back to Austin to do whatever he does when they aren’t on the road.
She hated when she lied to herself like that.
Before she started packing, she sent a text to Kenzi. We’re finally getting off this freakin’ island!
That’s awesome! Kenzi sent back. I’ve been so worried. Did you and Joey get along okay on your own?
Looonnnnngggg story.
Spill!
It can wait until you’re back from your honeymoon.
Ok. You’re still coming over New Year’s Eve, right?
Yup. See you then.
Maybe by New Year’s Eve she could talk about the past few days. Right now she’d either break into tears or throw a raging fit.
When she became too restless to sit in the flat any longer, she bundled into her coat and scarf.
“Where ya headed?”
“I don’t know. I thought I’d go see the wharf. Or Quay, whatever they call it.”
He chuckled. “Because you haven’t seen enough water this week.”
She laughed, too. “Right.”
“Mind some company?”
Now was as good a time as any to find out if they could go back to just being friends. “Sure.”
Walking slowly, even though the temperature was horribly cold, the weak sunshine was heavenly compared to the rain. Everything smelled clean. Of course, on an island the size of Ireland it probably always smelled clean.
A breeze blew in from the ocean, filled with the aroma of fresh fish. Maybe everywhere had its crosses to bear.
They turned down a path than ran along the shore. “Have you ever been fishing?” Joey asked.
“No, have you?”
He shook his head. “I can’t see sitting there doing nothing for hours at a time.”
She snickered before she could catch herself. “How much of the time on your phone is work, and how much is play?”
“If I had Ash’s job at the game company, my work would be play.”
“Instead, you have to force yourself out of bed each day to pick up your guitar.”
“Bass.”
“Whatever.”
Their friendship had an awkward edge now, much as she expected. Still, the barrier between them was more of a window than a wall. Maybe they could survive this. See each other again without dread.
One day, though, he’d find a woman to love, and bring her to their get-togethers. The idea stabbed her in the heart. Could she see him with another woman and be unaffected?
She’d seen past boyfriends with other girls after their relationships had ended and wasn’t uncomfortable. Joey wasn’t even a boyfriend.
No, whatever they had was different.
Potential.
They had the potential to be something great. That’s what hurt. She wanted to take Joey by the shoulders and say, Wake up! Look at what we have here.
Tears pooled in her eyes and she lifted her face, blinking hard.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said too quickly. “Must be the cold breeze.”
He continued to watch her. Then he picked up a rock and threw it into the ocean. “It’s too late.”
“For what?”
“To say I’m sorry.”
“We went over that already. I don’t want to erase what we did.” His reaction to it was what she wanted to take a sledgehammer to.
“No. I destroyed what we had. I love sparring with you. I like knowing there’s someone around who’ll catch anything I miss. We were good together just as we were.”
“We’re adults. We’ll get back to where we were.”
He caught her gaze again, his eyes filled with some emotion she couldn’t pin down. “I hope so. I really hope so.”
Chapter Seven
The plane ride home wasn’t too awful, all things considered. Any turbulence came mostly from the weather outside. There was only an occasional icy breeze blowing between their seats, and she knew the air vents above them weren’t turned on.
Jasmine read for a while, then kicked back and feigned sleep. Joey sat close enough she felt his body heat on her arm. His scent engulfed her, taking her back to the bed, when he’d been lying on top of her, replete.
Her eyes snapped open when her visions took her further into their lovemaking.
<
br /> That’s what it had been. Lovemaking. Not sex. Not fucking. He’d worshiped her body like she was a goddess and she’d felt like one.
No man could do that casually. It wasn’t possible not to have emotion behind the way he touched her.
She still felt that way when she arrived home and texted Kenzi to let her know she was safe.
The phone rang immediately, Kenzi’s photo identifying the caller. “Now, spill.”
Jasmine smiled. “You’re on your honeymoon. What are you doing talking to me?”
“A girl can only make love so many hours a day. I’m resting up.”
Sadness suddenly weighed down on Jasmine’s shoulders. She couldn’t respond to that. She sat on her couch and curled under a knitted afghan. “You won’t believe the last of our vacation. How long were we there…three, four days after you left?”
“Yes, whatever, get to the good part.”
She detailed how they’d ended up in a flat above a fish market. “I thought we’d drive each other crazy, but it wasn’t awful. And then it was awesome. And then it really became awful.”
Kenzi was silent.
“We made love.”
She gave Kenzi credit for not gasping. “I’m guessing that was the awesome part? I can’t imagine Joey being awful.”
Jasmine smiled, a wistful warmth filling her. “He was pretty awesome.”
“So you guys are a couple now?”
“That’s the awful part.”
“What? He didn’t. He dumped you before you guys even got going?”
“It wasn’t like that.” Jasmine twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “He ran scared, like a dog with his tail between his legs.”
“We’re talking about Joey, right? Handsome, cocky bass player. Our Joey.”
Only he wasn’t Jasmine’s Joey. “That’s the one.” She put the phone on speaker and picked up her nail file. She’d bitten her nails to nubs, but they were rough nubs.
“I’m so sorry, hon.”
“Don’t say that! That’s what Joey said. Sorry he destroyed any chance of our being friends down the road.”
Kenzi sighed. “That’s awful.”
“See? And on Christmas day, no less. After buying me a pair of wool socks because I couldn’t be with my family.” Her voice cracked, her throat tightening. “Why did he have to be so nice? Even when explaining what his problem was.”
“Did he mention Terri?”
“Yeah. She must have totally messed with him.”
“I don’t know the full details. Chaz only told me Joey had a tough time toward the end.”
“She made him believe he’s incapable of having a lasting relationship.” Jasmine shifted on the couch. “He told me so. He can’t even give me the chance to show him I’m not going to freak out on him.”
“Maybe he’ll come around.”
“I’m not betting on it.”
“Are you still coming over on New Year’s Eve? I’ll understand if you can’t.”
“I’d rather get it over with when it’s just our little group and not some big crowd. I’ll be fine.”
“If you’re sure…”
“I am.” She barely got the words out and said goodbye before curling up and crying her heart out.
~*~
Joey arrived at Chaz and Kenzi’s home early in the afternoon on New Year’s Eve. Taking his suitcase from the rental car, he walked up the long cement path to the door.
“You’re here.” Kenzi hugged him before letting him in the door. Either she hadn’t heard from Jasmine, or she was more forgiving than he’d expected.
“Yeah. Oakland International was crazy busy, but nothing like when we—when the storm hit Ireland.”
Chaz joined them when they reached the living room. He and Joey exchanged a bro hug, and then Chaz offered him a drink.
“Let me unpack.” He walked away, eager to get to the room he always used when he stayed with them.
At least they weren’t pissed at him. He’d passed that hurdle. He knew the subject wasn’t closed yet, though.
As he expected, when he joined Chaz in the game room later for a few rounds of pool, Ireland came up.
Chaz racked the balls on the table. “That polar vortex hit you guys hard.”
“It was crazy. I’ve never been in a storm like that.”
“At least the bad weather came in before you were in flight. That would have been crazy.”
As if what he and Jasmine had gone through wasn’t crazy enough.
“I’m not going to skirt around this. Kenzi told me what Jasmine told her.”
“I figured she would. They would. Are you giving me the girl’s big brother speech or her dad’s?” Joey took the break shot.
Chaz set down the chalk cube and picked up his cue. “Do I need to do either? I’m not picking sides here. I just want to be sure you’re okay with Jasmine coming around. I’m not going to tell Kenzi she can’t invite her along.”
Joey hit the cue ball so hard, the eight ball bounced off the table from the collision. “We talked it out. We’re fine.”
“I know what Kenzi means when she says she’s fine.”
Joey just glared.
Chaz raised his hands. “Hey, just sayin’. I believe you. If you talked it out, everything’s good. I’m glad to hear it. Now we can concentrate on having fun tonight.”
~*~
By seven thirty, Joey couldn’t stand the restlessness he battled. “I’m going out for a minute,” he told Kenzi. He had no idea where he’d go on New Year’s Eve when his friends expected to spend it with him, he had no.
Joey dreaded seeing Jasmine again.
He couldn’t wait to see her again.
He hoped to be casually polite.
He longed to beg for a second chance.
He shouldn’t have come, but he’d spent every New Year’s Eve with the guys since they were on their first national tour. He had no problem missing Christmas with his family—they didn’t make a big deal of the holidays anymore—but the guys were his family these days.
A second chance. She’d never give it to him, but his life would be so screwed without her in it. Incomplete. Like the Walking Dead without zombies.
Okay, that was dumb. Luckily he didn’t say that to her. No wonder he couldn’t trust anyone to survive a relationship with him. He wasn’t mature enough to be doing more than going steady.
Could he grow up enough in the next four hours to be able to tell Jasmine what he felt?
He seriously doubted it.
Chapter Eight
“I’m so glad you decided to come.” Kenzi hugged Jasmine and brought her into the living room where a few of the band members and their dates mingled with drinks in their hands.
“I don’t know why I’m here.” Her stomach tightened as she looked around. “Couples. Everyone is part of a couple.” Except me.
“But you know everyone. Don’t worry, the guys will head to the game room and play pool or video games. I’m surprised they aren’t there already. Come on, let’s get you a drink.”
Jasmine accepted the glass of wine and forced herself not to down it. She didn’t need fortification to see Joey again. They’d parted friends, so meeting up with him again shouldn’t be awkward.
Yeah, right.
Devon and his girlfriend arrived. Joey was the only band member missing. Bree and Ash hadn’t arrived yet, either.
Had Joey decided to skip the night after all? If he did, Jasmine could pretend this was a girls’ night, like she, Bree and Kenzi used to have before Bree and Ash got together. They still got together just the three of them, but hanging out wasn’t the same with two of them married.
Drawing in a breath, Jasmine smiled. She refused to mope around and ruin everyone’s night.
Chaz walked to the middle of the room. “Who’s up for some pool?”
Following the others into the game room, Jasmine reminded herself she was going to have fun. No, she was having fun. If necessary, she’d remind hersel
f until it was true.
“What, you started the party without me?”
Jasmine turned at the sound of Joey’s voice, her knotting stomach squashing the butterflies. It was nearly eleven o’clock. Had he been reluctant to come, as she was?
Why did he have to look so good? That sexy, one-sided smile and a twinkle in his eye. Black jeans and a black shirt, with a black hat, of course, and a beer bottle in his hand.
She bit back a grin. Had he needed to replace that poor soaked fedora he’d worn in Ireland? Even a professional cleaner probably couldn’t block it properly.
He said his hellos around the room, then saw her sitting at the card table. Their eyes met, he seemed to hesitate, then lifted his beer bottle in a salute.
The hard part was done. She’d survived seeing him again. The rest of the night would be easy.
But it wasn’t. She couldn’t focus on her cards. Couldn’t remember what cards made a poker hand.
“Jasmine, it’s your turn.” Bree nudged her with her elbow.
“Oh, sorry. I call.”
“You’re first. Fold or bet.”
“Right.” She shoved a few poker chips into the center of the table.
Bree gave Kenzi a pointed look. Devin’s girlfriend shook her head in either sympathy or disbelief, and put her chips in the pot. The play went around the table, and Kenzi dealt the flop. The other girls looked at their cards before turning to Jasmine.
She studied the three cards on the table and the four in her hand. A pair of twos. A three, four and six on the table. Did that add up to anything?
Kenzi cleared her throat.
“Um, I check.”
Jasmine looked at the clock repeatedly. At 11:40, when the hand ended, she stood. “Bathroom break.”
She hurried away before anyone could stop her. She knew Kenzi’s house like the back of her hand. The dining room was dark, as she expected. She ducked in there.
The blinds were down, so she pulled them up to look out over the bay. The moonlight on the water gave her peace, as always. The lights of the city kept the stars hidden while adding a magic all their own.
Destination Weddings: Books 1-3 Page 17
