She could hear the landline ringing. She rose, wearily, a parishioner, the archdeacon, someone for Chad, that woman about the flowers, “ah, the vicar’s wife,” she’ll say. Her hand on the handset –
‘Is that Helen?’
Liam. Of course.
‘Just wondered if there was any news,’ he was saying.
‘No,’ she said. ‘Chad’s with Virginia now.’
‘Right,’ he said.
There was a silence.
‘Can’t settle to anything here,’ he said. ‘Thought I’d go and see Mrs. Maguire, but as your husband’s there – ’
‘They’ve gone to the police,’ she said.
‘Oh. Right.’ Another silence. ‘I feel I’m – ’
‘You could wait here – ’
‘ – to blame,’ he finished. ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘That would be… I mean, if you’re sure that’s all right…’
‘Of course it’s all right.
‘Right,’ he said. ‘I’ll just sort a few things out here.’
‘OK.’
He was still on the phone. ‘Can I ask you one thing,’ he said.
‘What?’
‘Am I allowed sugar with my coffee this time?’
‘I want him back.’ Virginia faced them both, the Detective Inspector, a black woman, she wasn’t expecting that, next to her another girl, white this time, one she’d seen before, only with bright red shoes. ‘Tobias,’ Virginia said. ‘Find him.’
‘Mrs. Maguire…’ It was the red shoes that spoke. ‘We’ve invited you here because we believe you can help us….’
‘And why’s that thing on?’ Virginia pointed at the tape recorder.
Berenice leaned forward across the table. ‘It’s to help you,’ she said. ‘It’s to help us all.’ She indicated a seat. ‘Won’t you sit down?’
Virginia didn’t move. ‘Why have you left him outside? He’s my priest,’ she said.
‘The Reverend Meyrick,’ Berenice said.
‘I asked him to help,’ Virginia said.
‘Are you religious?’
Virginia eyed her. ‘What’s that got to do with it?’
‘Won’t you sit down?’ Berenice said, again.
Virginia lowered herself on to the edge of the plastic chair. It was thin and worn, like the paintwork of the walls, on the frame of the high window that seemed to let in no light at all.
‘So,’ Berenice said, ‘let’s begin, shall we?’
Chapter Thirteen
There was the making of coffee, coffee that neither of them really wanted, but it gave them both something to do. Liam was looking brighter now, or perhaps it was just the sunlight after the rain. When he’d appeared on her doorstep, Jonah in tow - ‘Hope you don’t mind, he’s used to being with me’- he looked like he hadn’t slept all night.
A bowl of water for Jonah. Sugar for the coffee, yet more biscuits, which they left untouched on the plate as they sat at an unnatural distance from each other in the living room. She was wearing a wrap-around skirt and a cashmere sweater, both navy blue. The skirt clung against her legs as she crossed them in front of her.
‘I knew he was in distress,’ Liam said.
‘It’s not your fault,’ she said.
‘Perhaps he’s turned up.’
‘Perhaps he has.’ She sipped at her coffee.
‘Your husband - he’d have called you, wouldn’t he? If they’d found him?’
‘He’s with Virginia,’ she said. Even to her, it was an odd answer. Through the window she could see the sea, a distant ribbon of blue in the sunlight.
‘The book,’ he said, picking it up from the coffee table. He flicked through it.‘“… The truth resides in the most noble and subtle particle of all”’ he read. ‘“Yet is that particle hidden from us. It is my view, and that of the great teachers who have come before me, that the truth waits to be revealed by He who made it, in His time alone.”’ He looked up. ‘When was this written?’
‘There’s no date. Chad thinks it’s late nineteenth century. The writings at the back have a date, 1922, but they’re more recent than the stuff at the front.’
He flicked to the back of the diary. ‘“My father writes from faith,”’ he read. ‘”But the oneness, the indivisible particle, how can that bring back my brother from the dead?’ Who’s this? He said.
‘Amelia. She seems to be the daughter of the author of the science stuff at the front.’
‘If you can call it science,’ he said.
‘Van Mielen,’ Helen said. The author of the front of the book. Johann van Mielen. And his daughter is Amelia.’
‘“My husband talks about rotation, about the whirling of the aether.”’ Liam read, out loud. ‘“He has his beams and his lenses, and he talks of the speed of light.”’ Liam looked up. ‘That sounds more like science. Who’s her husband then?’
‘She seems to have married someone called Gabriel Voake.’
‘Voake. I suppose the name goes back years. “If only it were to afford him some solace…”’ he read.
‘They don’t seem very happy.’
‘No.’ He put the book down on the table.
‘So, Elizabeth?’ she said.
He looked at her.
‘Elizabeth van Mielen,’ she said.
‘Oh. Yes.’ He leaned back against the cushions. ‘She always said her family came from here, way back, but her father’s an American. Farming lot. Settled over there before the Great War. Must be a distant relation. Neil’s always teasing her about her Kentish roots, but she always denies it.’
At his feet Johan stirred, snuffled, looked around, settled down again, one paw across his eyes.
‘And Murdo’s wife gave this to you?’ he said.
Helen got up and went to the table where the tray of coffee things sat. ‘It was odd. She seemed very keen to get rid of it. Chad offered it back to her the other night, as Tobias seemed to have a sense of loss about it, and the Professor was asking for it too, as you know. But Virginia wouldn’t touch it.’
‘Weird,’ Liam said.
In the silence she poured them both more coffee, carried his cup over to him where he sat on the sofa. She bent to hand him the coffee. She was aware of his gaze holding hers. ‘Sugar?’ she said. He laughed, spooning two large spoonfuls into the cup, and she laughed too.
‘Maybe I should ask Elizabeth,’ he said, as she returned to her place on the sofa. ‘Although…’
She glanced at him. ‘Although what?’
He shook his head. ‘Perhaps all labs have secrets. All workplaces…’ He stirred his spoon around in his cup. ‘There were rumours – ’ he glanced up. ‘An affair,’ he said. ‘Between Elizabeth and Murdo.’
‘When?’
‘Some years ago. Then she left for Italy. But they were only rumours.’
‘Do you think they were true?’ Helen tucked her legs under her.
He sighed. ‘Murdo was a friend. And Elizabeth…’ He hesitated. ‘She’s a difficult woman. Her version of events is not always to be trusted, let’s say. And anyway, it was before my time at the lab.’
‘But if this book – ’ Helen reached over and placed her cup on the table. ‘If this book is so significant, why has Virginia only just now got rid of it? If my husband was given a love-token from a rival of mine, I’d throw it out at once…’ Helen stared at the book lying on the table in front of her.
Thoughts flickered through his mind - the phone call, the relief to hear she was alone, tumbling into his car, almost jumping red lights to get here…
‘I watched you dancing,’ he said.
She met his eyes. ‘I know.’
‘You’re good.’
She smiled. ‘How can you tell?’
‘I know about these things,’ he said.
‘You do?’
‘Not as a practitioner,’ he said. ‘Just audience, you know….’
‘Do you like ballet?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I do. Does that surprise you?’
‘So ballet and physics don’t mix?’
She smiled. ‘Ballet and lots of things don’t mix. My husband…’
He waited. ‘Your husband?’ he said.
She shook her head. ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said.
‘Surely he likes ballet,’ he said. ‘To have met you, to have married you…’
She raised her eyes to his. There was so much to say, she realized, and she didn’t know where to start, about the giving up of things, the loneliness, the new life by the sea that seemed to have put such a distance between herself and Chad, and now here he was, this man sitting opposite her, waiting for her reply, his gaze so intense - and what could she say?
She felt her eyes fill with tears.
‘I’m sorry…’ It was Liam who broke the silence.
‘It’s fine, really…’
‘I didn’t mean to upset you…’
‘You didn’t upset me,’ she said.
‘I’ve never been married, I don’t know anything about it, seem to have managed to avoid any kind of commitment…’
‘Apart from the dog,’ she said, dabbing at her eyes.
He glanced down at Jonah. ‘The dog,’ he said. ‘The dog seems to be commitment enough for me.’
‘Married to your work, perhaps?’ she said.
He nodded. ‘That’s what I’m always being told.’
She smiled at him.
‘Perhaps we need more coffee,’ he said.
DS Ashcroft placed two cups of instant coffee on the desk in front of her. ‘Milk, no sugar,’ she said to Virginia.
Virginia reached across and picked up the cup.
‘So,’ Berenice said, picking up her cup, glancing across, ‘How far have we got?’
Mary Ashcroft pulled her notepad towards her. ‘The young man has gone missing before. On this occasion, however, he was very distressed and angry – ’
‘Not angry.’ Virginia put down her cup. ‘Distressed I’ll have. Not angry.’
‘He’d just been told they didn’t need him anymore,’ Mary said.
‘Distressed,’ Virginia repeated. ‘As you would be if they threw you out of your job.’ She fixed her eyes on Mary.
Berenice turned to her. ‘Mrs. Maguire – have you seen this before?’ She pushed the plastic bag towards her, in which was visible the green-painted plastic lion.
Virginia stared at it. ‘Where was it? He’s been looking for that.’ She reached towards it.
‘It was at the top of Hank’s Tower.’
Virginia met her eyes. ‘And?’
‘Can you confirm it belongs to Tobias?’
Virginia nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I can. Now are you going to find him?’
Mary put the lion back in its file and returned to her notebook. ‘He went missing at some point between midnight and early morning. His bed wasn’t slept in.’
Virginia picked up her cup of coffee.
Berenice sighed. ‘Mrs. Maguire. We want to find Tobias as much as you do.’
Virginia flashed her a glance. ‘But for very different reasons,’ she said.
Helen held the kettle over the Aga, aware of Liam standing behind her.
‘So, did she come back because of Murdo, Elizabeth?’ she said, as she filled the cafetiere.
‘I’ve no idea. She was married to a fellow physicist in Geneva, a few years ago. But it didn’t last, and then she was offered the research post here.’
‘And his marriage?’ She picked up the tray, led the way back towards the lounge.
‘No one knows.’ He followed her out of the kitchen. ‘They seem bound together, Murdo and his wife. They had a child who died,’ he said. ‘Everyone said they were happy, before that. The little boy was a lovely boy, apparently.’
‘And Elizabeth?’
‘Her marriage was over,’ he said. ‘And she’s working on B-D asymmetry, and she wanted to join Manfred’s team here.’
‘And the van Mielen name?’
‘It was her maiden name, but she always used Eduardo’s name once she was married. Merletti, I mean, his surname…’
‘But she inherited the book. And then gave it to Murdo.’ She bent to place the tray on the coffee table.
‘You could ask Neil about that book,’ he said. ‘If you’re interested. Neil Parrish. His family go back years here. Local history is rather his thing.’
‘Why not just ask Elizabeth?’ Helen met his eyes.
‘You could.’
‘But - ’ she prompted.
‘With Elizabeth, there’s no relying on a straight answer.’
She smiled up at him.
They stood in the middle of the room.
‘I’m sorry…’ he began.
‘For what?’
‘Back then… I didn’t mean to pry…’
‘You touched a nerve, I suppose, that’s all.’
He was silent, so she went on. ‘In London, I danced. For a living. On stage. The Coliseum, Sadlers Wells. Touring, too, France, the States… When Chad suggested we move here, I tried to explain to him what I’d lose. And he was right, of course, I was tiring of it, too many injuries, I did want a new start, I’d been saying so for ages, children, even, but what I tried to explain to him was that something had to put back what I’d lose, there had to be something else here, and he just said, we’ll find that something. He’s a man of faith, you see…’ She looked up at Liam, aware that they were standing very close together. ‘Yes,’ she went on, ‘Faith. He always thinks everything’s going to be all right.’
‘God’s will?’ Liam was gazing into her eyes.
‘Not exactly. It’s more intelligent than that. I don’t mean to make him sound like a carefree optimist because he’s not, and in fact these last few months he’s been as weighed down as I am, we’ve barely communicated at all and I really don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know how to help him, and every time I try to reach out I seem to say the wrong thing and it just makes it all worse and I do love him, really I do, but there are times at the moment when I think about how he used to be, and I look across the table and there just seems to be a gap between the man I married and the man he is now…’ She stopped, breathing hard.
She was aware of two things. One was that she had never, ever, put these feelings into words until now. The other was that Liam’s gaze was burning into her and she could feel the closeness of him, standing there in the middle of the room, the carpet warm under her bare feet. So that as he reached out to her, took her in his arms, pressed his lips to hers, it didn’t seem to be surprising or unusual in any way at all, but rather, as she responded to his kiss, the most natural thing in the world.
Being on the run, Tobias thought. That’s what they call it. On the run. On the run from the Law, he thought, playing with the words in his mind. On the run from the Cops.
Law’s better than Cops.
Except, I’m not running. I’m not even walking. I’m just standing here with the stones between my toes, the waves licking the beach in front of me.
He wondered if it was because he’d run out of anywhere to run to. He thought about Virginia, and how she’d be worried. But she’ll know, he thought. She’ll understand why I’ve gone. Once they find the Prof in the tower, they’ll understand why I had to run away.
The Prof, he thought. An image of him lumbering across the stone floor, the yelling of his voice, loud in the darkness. Scary, he thought. It was scary, how he shouted at me, coming towards me like that, so tall and angry…
Tobias held up his two hands in front of him, palms outward. Like that, he thought, both my hands up like that and then, Push, get him out of the way, put a stop to it, to the shouting and the anger.
It was because he knows. Entelechia, he said, and then I knew that he knew about the writings in the Book, asking me how much I knew about the Red Lion and the Green, the Aether and the Irreducible Particle. Where is it, he was saying, where is it, a
nd I didn’t want to tell him about Auntie Ginny giving it away and he was talking about the tunnel, not the big shiny fridge one, the old warm dark one, and I didn’t like him then, I didn’t like him knowing all my things because they’re private things, just me and Lisa, it’s safe there so I said Stop to him, Stop Stop Stop…
There would be a big splash if someone fell from Hank’s Tower when the sea was up like that. When Uncle Murdo did it there was a big splash. The Prof is a bigger man than Uncle Murdo. That’s what it would sound like, a big big splash…
He stared out at the flat grey sea.
‘We’ve tried Hank’s Tower.’ Chad turned off the car engine, leaned back wearily in the driver’s seat. ‘We’ve tried the caves. We’ve tried all the places you claim to be his usual places…’
‘It’s because he’s frightened.’ Virginia’s voice was thin. ‘He must have found a new place. If that police woman had let me go sooner we’d have had more chance of tracking him down.’
‘She was just doing her job.’ Chad glanced towards the clock on the dashboard.
‘Treating me like a criminal, is that her job?’
‘It’s a murder investigation.’ One fifteen, the clock said. Helen will be wondering where I am, he thought. Helen. How odd to think of her now. There was a worry about this, but Virginia was speaking to him.
‘There’s another place,’ she was saying. ‘It’s further along the coast. He went there once, before we’d noticed he’d gone, it’s quite a way but if he kept walking he’d be there by now…’ Her voice was shaking.
Chad started the car again. He pulled out into the line of traffic.
‘You take the Canterbury Road from here,’ she was saying, ‘but then at the roundabout you turn off towards the coast.’
In his mind, Chad saw the vicarage kitchen. Would she be sitting down to lunch? Would she have given up on him? Would she even have noticed how long he’d been away?
The mobile had only rung twice this morning, both parish matters. No missed calls from her. No messages.
We used to text each other all the time, he thought. Silly messages. Jokes, endearments…
‘… it’s this road, here – ’ Virginia was pointing. She was pale, tearful, sitting tense beside him. ‘We must find him,’ she said.
Dying to Know (A Detective Inspector Berenice Killick Mystery) Page 11
