by T. L. Tate
“Oh it’s no problem. We’re just getting ready to eat.”
“Oh. Thank God. Here, I brought you this.” The stranger stepped inside and handed Jessa a bottle of wine. Her body was angled so that I couldn’t make out her face. But I noticed that she had a slight body and long brown hair that fell passed her shoulders.
Jessa saw me and smiled, “Hey Lance. This is the last guest. She lives across the way. Her name is Lily.”
“Hi Lily. It’s nice to meet you.”
Lily turned slowly, her hair moving in a wave, obscuring her face. “Hi Lance…” She saw me and froze. Her smile faded and was replaced by a shocked slack-jawed stare.
I wasn’t much better. Once I got a good look at her I was frozen solid. The last time I had seen her had been 12-years ago. At that time she was both the impetus and the architect of the beginning and near ending of my relationship with Jen. “I-Izzy?”
The moment I spoke that name, her hand went to her mouth and she stepped back. “Oh God.”
Jessa looked between us confused and curious about the obvious turn in events. “What’s going on? I take it you guys know each other.”
Izzy…Lily continued to cover her mouth and shook her head.
I stepped closer, which caused her to step back until she hit a wall and there was nowhere to retreat. “No. How?”
I stopped moving as I looked down at her. Normally Jen was the angry one in the relationship, but when I saw her I felt a fire erupt in my heart. The last time that I saw Lily she went by Izzy. She was a Goth-inspired co-ed that Jen and I met at her apartment party. Attaching herself to Jen and I, Lily pretended to befriend Jen. However, that ruse ended the moment that the lights went off and she hid who she really was and climbed on top of me. We had sex on Jen’s couch and right after climaxing, Jen caught us in post-coital bliss. I only slept with her because I was (drunkenly) convinced she was Jen and she knew it. Still, that didn’t absolve me of my sins. To make matters worse, after Jen caught us and kicked us out, Lily explained that she had planned to screw Jen over from the beginning all because she didn’t think that Jen was “tortured enough”. I honestly never thought that I would see her again and to have that be right now…it had to be some cosmic joke.
Snapping back to the present, I glanced at Jessa as she watched us. “Yeah, we know each other. We met back in college.” I could hear the anger radiating in my voice. I thought about all of the hurt that that one event caused Jen and I wanted to hurt Lily. As I moved closer, Jessa interceded, placing herself between us.
“Whoa there cowboy. Just calm down.” She placed her hand on my chest and I tensed. If I had to toss her aside to get to Lily then I would. She seemed to read my mind. She looked up at me, her eyes serious. “You’re not alone here. Your children are here too.”
That was enough to bring me back to the world. I took several deep breaths and stepped back. Lily was pressed against the wall and was shivering, tears streaming down her cheeks. I looked at Jessa and nodded. She stepped back.
Lily looked at me, “A-are you two…?”
I shook my head and raised my left hand, “No. She’s my sister-in-law. Jen and I got married…no thanks to you.”
She looked around wildly, “J-J-Jen’s here? Oh God! I’ve got to go. I’m sorry.”
I reached out and grabbed her arm before she could run. “Oh no you don’t. Remember the last thing that I said to you?” She nodded. “You’re going to find Jen and apologize. It’s been 12-years but what you did still haunts her.”
Her shaking got worse but I didn’t let up. Eventually, she nodded. Raising my voice, “Jen, sweetheart? Will you come out here please?”
I heard her from the other room. “Sure! Just give me a sec.”
I released Lily’s hand and moved to close the door and then stood in front of it. Preventing her from making an escape.
Jessa stood next to Lily, a smile on her face. “There’s a story here and I can’t wait to hear it.” I rolled my eyes. She was getting way too much joy out of our collective discomfort.
A few minutes later, Jen came in the room. She saw me standing by the door and smiled. “Hey! What’s up?”
I nodded grimly towards Lily as she looked down at her feet and shuffled from foot-to-foot.
Jen stopped and looked at her, confusion on her face. But when Lily tipped her head back and moved her long hair from her face, Jen’s eyes burned with recognition. “Izzy?”
“H-hi, Jen.”
“Izzy! You motherfucker!” Jen rushed forward with murder in her eyes. Fortunately, I was faster. I stepped forward and scooped her into my arms as she reached her claws towards Lily. She struggled desperately as she huffed in my ear. “I’m going to kill you, you fucking bitch! Come here so I can kill you!”
I sat her on the ground and stood in front of her, completely blocking Lily from view. Jen continued to struggle but when I held her arms and pulled her into a kiss she froze. When I stopped kissing her, her face was flush and she was mumbling something. I said the same thing that Jessa said to me, “The children are here.”
This seemed to get Jen’s attention as she calmed down. Taking a deep breath in and then followed by a long and exaggerated exhalation, Jen looked like she was in control.
I stepped aside and sure enough she didn’t rush forward and hit Lily.
Instead, she glared at the woman that nearly caused our relationship to end before it got started. “What the fuck are you doing here, Izzy?”
“Umm, m-my name is Lily.”
“What?”
“My name. It’s not Izzy. It’s Lily.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck what your name is. What the hell are you doing here? If you’re trying to hook your claws into Lance then I promise you that I’ll break your fucking face.”
I placed my hand on Jen’s shoulder. “Babe, take a breath. She has something to say.”
Jessa was standing next to Lily, holding her hand and watching the show unfold with unguarded interest.
Lily took a nervous step forward, her voice small, “I-I’m so sorry.”
Jen looked like she grew several feet larger in that moment. “Sorry? You’re sorry? Do you have any idea what you did to me? Huh? Do you have any idea? I’ll piss on your I’m sorry bullshit! I hate you.”
Things were getting intense. Jen wanted to rip Lily’s head off and I wasn’t any better, but I had to be. I held Jen’s hand and looked at Lily. “You said that you had something to say. Say it.”
She nodded. It was odd seeing her after all of this time. The last time that I saw her she had the same sullen look but her face was marked with several piercings, her hair was black and cut short and she openly displayed the cartoon mouse tattoo on her breast. Now her face was without piercings, her hair was long and brown and her flashy way of dressing was subdued. Just like Jen and I, Lily simply looked like she grew up.
“Jen, what I did to you that night was wrong. I thought a lot about it and I realize that I hurt you out of jealous spite. The two of you seemed so in love back then that I wanted to have a piece of that for myself. I’m sorry. I know this doesn’t make up for what I did, but I really am sorry.”
Jen was shaking but her voice had lost a bit of its edge. “You think that just by saying sorry, that you’re going to be forgiven? You fucked my husband on my couch. I won’t ever forgive you.”
Lily stepped forward, her eyes wild. “But he wasn’t your husband then. You guys weren’t even dating.”
Jen looked like she was going to explode. “I…but…t-that doesn’t matter!”
Jessa was positively glowing. I forgot how much she loved witnessing her sister’s misery.
Lily looked like she wanted to say more, but what was the point in arguing? I spoke up, “She’s right Jen.”
When she looked at me it was as if she was seeing a stranger. “She’s right? What the hell do you mean? You remember what happened, right?”
“I remember Jen. But I don’t want to see you carryin
g this baggage anymore. I don’t want to see you hurt. You know that I love you and for my part in what happened I’m sorry. But we were just kids when this happened. The three of us were different.”
“Just kids? We weren’t children we were adults, Lance!”
“Sweetheart, we were adults chronologically but not emotionally. You have to admit that we didn’t act like adults.”
“But Lance she slept with you.” Her voice was small—pitiable even.
“I know, sweetheart. But that was then. We both have a past it just so happens that her and I hooked up before you and I had the balls to make it official. Was it sneaky and fucked up what she did? Yeah, absolutely. But did she also apologize? Yeah, absolutely. We’re not kids anymore and I think its time to put it all behind us and move on. You are my wife and the love of my life. That will always be the case. I only want you and the fact is that I don’t know if or when we would’ve gotten together if I didn’t fuck up in the first place.”
Jen was silent for a few moments while she thought over what I said. I could sense that Lily was holding her breath along with me; however, I could also sense Jessa’s extreme glee. I tried to pay her no mind.
When she finally spoke, her voice was small. “Okay. I forgive you.” There was a loud exhalation from Lily and I. “But don’t you think that I forgot. If you try anything like that again I will hurt you.”
Lily nodded quickly and I smiled at Jen. She squeezed my hand in return.
Jessa finally stepped forward with a smile on her face. “Well, that was tense. But I’m glad it all worked out. Lily, why don’t you come with me and I’ll introduce you to the other guests.”
“O-okay. Sounds good.”
We watched the two of them go as we hanged back.
“You know that I only forgave her for you, right?”
“I know baby, but I wish you would do it for yourself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Anytime a girl shows any interest in me, your claws comes out and it all stems from that day. It was a trauma that you’ve never been able to really forget. I hope that you will forgive her, not because I think it’s the best thing, but because you believe that you’re ready to move on.”
“Hmm. I guess you do have a point. Every time I see you talking to another girl I would picture Izzy…err…Lily. It’s just hard to not see it.”
“I guess I understand. But you don’t get angry every time I talk to another girl.”
She cut her eyes at me, “If you’re talking about that Lisa woman then you’re fucking crazy. She’s too hot for me to be anywhere near comfortable with you talking to her.”
I laughed, “No. I’m not talking about Lisa. I’m talking about Jessa.”
Her dark eyebrow raised in confusion. “Jessa?”
“Yeah. You seem to be fine when I’m talking to her.”
“Yeah, but Jessa doesn’t count. She’s my sister and I know that nothing would ever happen there. It’s like you having a conversation with Mom.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I was just using it as an example.”
She laughed, “It’s not comparable at all. Jessa equals not doable. Every other woman equals potentially doable.” She laughed again before touching my cheek. “Thanks for that, Lance. I wouldn’t have been able to calm down if you weren’t here. You really are my rock. I don’t know how I would manage without you.”
Hugging her, I spoke into her raven-colored hair, “I love you so much Jen. I would do anything for you.”
“I know, honey. I know.”
After that, we followed Jessa and Lily into the dining room. Jessa had set Lily down next to her and was quietly grilling her about something that I couldn’t hear but that made Lily blush. Her eyes would constantly float between Jen and I. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Jessa was asking her.
Other than the small thing with Lily, the housewarming went very well. It went so well in fact that it went very late into the night. My parents took the twins home and stayed the night. David and Elizabeth soon followed suit and went back to their own home. That left Jessa, Jen, Lily, Lisa and myself. I wouldn’t say that it was the most comfortable that I have ever been but it wasn’t half bad. Although Jen had accepted Lily’s apology, there was still a bit of ice between the two. Twelve years worth of pain doesn’t just disappear because someone says they’re sorry. Nevertheless, Jen was making a remarkable effort to be civil and I couldn’t have been prouder.
Soon, Jessa took Lily into a quiet corner, where the two of them huddled together. Not wanting to be a third-wheel, Lisa soon followed, which left Jen and I alone. While the three women talked, laughed and drank, Jen and I got started on cleaning up the party. Fortunately, other than the messes left by the twins, things were pretty easy to deal with. The adults acted as such and cleaned up after themselves. All that was really left was to load the dishwasher and wipe down some surfaces. I took out the trash and when I came back, Jen had already washed the table and the countertops. With nothing else to do, we went and found the others.
“Oh my God!” Jessa was covering her mouth and pretending at being shocked but I could tell that she was enjoying every second of their conversation. It wasn’t difficult to guess at what they were talking about. While the other guests were here, Jessa put a cap on her inquisitiveness. But when the others left she quickly roped Lily into a corner. I knew she was forcing her to expound upon the details of our first and last meeting.
As we approached, Lily looked at us and then back down at her drink. I don’t know if her cheeks were read out of embarrassment or because of the copious amounts of alcohol that she imbibed. Either way, she looked guilty.
As I sat down, I pulled Jen onto my lap. She sighed and kissed my cheek. Looking at the three women in turn she asked, “So, what are you all talking about?”
Lily stumbled. Lisa was tightlipped. But Jessa beamed, “Lily was telling us the story about how you three met.” She reached over and touched Jen’s leg. Her face twisted as she feigned empathy, “I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.”
What Jen thought of Jessa’s empathetic display, I didn’t know. She didn’t say anything.
“I-I’m sorry guys. Jessa said she really wanted to know. I wasn’t bragging or anything. I promise.”
I felt Jen stiffen, so I rubbed her back until I felt her relax again.
Deciding to reroute this dead end of a conversation, I asked, “So, did Jessa tell you all the good news?”
Lisa and Lily looked at us questioningly, and I looked at Jen. She nodded so I pressed forward. “Jen and I are expecting!”
There were gasps all around as Lisa and Lily jumped from their seats and descended on us. Hands immediately went to Jen’s stomach and she didn’t immediately smack them away. They started firing questions off one after the other as the gushed over the news that Jen was pregnant.
For her part, Jen seemed relieved to be talking about something beautiful instead of discussing something that caused her a lot of grief. Her eyes lit up as she talked about the pregnancy.
I took the first opportunity that I could and slid from underneath her as she took over the chair. Grabbing a beer, I went over towards the bay window and looked outside at the night sky. I could hear the three of them gushing and decided that they would probably be better off without me. But I wasn’t alone for long.
Jessa plopped on the pillows that filled the deep windowsill. She crossed one leg over the other as she leaned back, using her arms to keep her upright. I looked down at her and saw that her breasts were prominently displayed. I tried to avert my eyes but it was slow going.
She sighed, “Geez. Just when it was getting fun too.” She reached up and snaked the beer from my hand and took a drought and then handed it back to me like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Taking the beer back, I leaned against the window frame. “Fun for you maybe. Jen and I weren’t enjoying it as much.”
“Yeah. Yeah. But come on, it w
as so long ago. Don’t you think that it’s worth getting over it already?”
“Honestly, I thought I was over it. But when I recognized her, I realized that I wasn’t.”
“I can see that. I don’t know what the big deal is though. You had sex with her and because of that you and Jen got together, right?”
“I don’t think it was as straightforward as you’re suggesting that it was, but yeah. Things ended up as you said.”
“So get over it. It’s not like the two of you were virgins or anything right?”
“Yeah. I guess.”
“Everyone has a past so why get all bent out of shape about it?”
“So you’re saying that you would be fine having drinks with Richard’s exes?”
She snatched my drink again and this time she kept it. “Honestly? I wouldn’t give two fucks. I never loved him anyway.”
I sat down next to her and she scooted over. “Come on. I know things have been rough for you guys for a long time but to say that you never loved him…isn’t that a bit of a stretch?”
She shook her head, “No. I’m serious. I married him because my parents wanted me to. I didn’t even like him. I wasn’t even attracted to him. His parents and mine were old friends from old money so they pretty much forced us together.”
Despite everything that I knew about her, I couldn’t help but feel for her. “T-that sounds horrible.” I looked over at Jen. Her bright smile lighting up the room as Lisa and Lily’s eyes sparkled with questions. She looked over at me and her smiled brightened even more. She winked at me and my heart soared. I couldn’t imagine a life without her and I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else.
Jessa’s response was filled with despondence, “Yeah, it was. What’s worse is that they are trying to keep us together. Like what they did wasn’t bad enough.”
Then something came back to me. “Wait…Jen said that he was your first.”
She cut her eyes at Jen. “She told you that did she?”
I nodded.
“Well? What of it?”
“Is it true?”
“Yeah, it’s true. He was the first person that I had sex with.”
