‘Rosa,’ he interrupted. ‘My mother’s sickness hit me so hard because...our relationship was difficult. Finding out she had cancer made me realise she was my only family. So I fought for that.’ He took a breath. ‘I lost some of myself because of it. I can see that now. But you helped me find that part of myself again. Because of that, I can be there for you. Through whatever happens.’
He struggled for his next words, unsure of how to make her see what he saw. ‘Everything that happened with your mother was...terrible. But you chose to stay. Even though it was difficult, and you sacrificed a lot because of it,’ he said when she opened her mouth to protest. ‘Even though now you’re still living with the effects of it. You stayed because your mother meant something to you. There’s nothing wrong with that.’
She blinked, and another tear made its way down her cheek. It fell, dropping to his lap before either of them could brush it away.
He wanted to say more. He wanted to tell her that she meant the world to him. That he’d asked her to marry him because she did, and that he’d stand by her side for ever—that he was strong enough to—because that was what he’d vowed to do on their wedding day.
But he couldn’t make that promise to her. How could he stand by her side for ever when he knew he wasn’t enough for her? When his genes carried things like his mother’s flightiness? With his father’s disregard for family?
And how the hell was he supposed to be a father when the only thing he knew about fathers was that they weren’t there?
‘Aaron?’ she asked with a frown. ‘What is it?’
The doorbell rang before he could answer.
CHAPTER TWENTY
‘YOU HAVEN’T BEEN answering my calls,’ Liana said as she brushed past Aaron. She stopped when she saw Rosa on the couch, and then her face split into a smile. ‘And if this is the reason, I suppose I’ll forgive you.’ In three steps she was in front of Rosa, pulling her into a hug. ‘It’s lovely to see you, darling.’
‘Liana,’ Rosa said with a smile. Forced, since she was suddenly feeling queasy again, and it was only partly because of her pregnancy. At least she didn’t have one of those faces that stayed blotchy for long after crying. ‘It’s lovely seeing you too. Though I was hoping to see you a month ago. At your birthday party, which turned out to be a ruse.’
Rosa caught Aaron’s look of surprise before focusing her attention back on Liana. She had the decency to look guilty.
‘It’s in the past now, isn’t it?’
‘Not quite,’ she muttered, and then shook her head at Liana’s questioning look. ‘I wasn’t able to give you your gift.’
‘Oh, you know that gifts aren’t necessary,’ Liana said, and then waved a hand. ‘Do you have it here?’
‘No. I sent it by courier though. It should have been delivered by now.’
‘Oh, I haven’t been to the house in a while,’ Liana replied vaguely, and Rosa wondered whether she should ask. But then, since Liana was there, she figured they’d find out about it soon enough. The expression on Aaron’s face told her he figured the same thing.
‘How long have you been here, darling?’ Liana settled on the couch.
‘Just since yesterday.’
Liana frowned. ‘But I thought you two...’ She trailed off, likely realising that she was opening herself up to another attack by mentioning the island reunion she’d tricked them into. ‘Well, then,’ she said instead. ‘Why haven’t you been answering my calls since you got back, Aaron?’
‘I was afraid you wanted something,’ he replied. ‘Since you’re here, I suppose I’m right.’
Liana’s brows lifted and Rosa felt the surprise echo in her chest. This wasn’t the Aaron who dealt with his mother with resignation. Which confirmed her suspicions that something was wrong.
‘I didn’t realise I was such a burden,’ Liana said with a huff. She didn’t mean the words, Rosa knew. Liana was more self-aware than she gave herself credit for. She knew her actions burdened Aaron. Though Rosa didn’t think she knew how much they hurt him.
‘I’m sorry,’ Aaron replied curtly. ‘You’re here for a visit. Do you want me to make some tea? Coffee?’
Liana’s expression turned pensive, and Rosa almost smiled at how smoothly Aaron was handling his mother. They all knew now that if Liana said she wasn’t there for a visit, she’d expose her lie. So Liana wouldn’t come clean, though at some point she’d find a way for Aaron to fix whatever she’d done.
Again, Rosa thought about how blind she’d been to Liana’s manipulations. And how much it must have bothered Aaron. How much it must have hurt him. But he hadn’t shared any of that hurt with her because he’d known how much Liana had meant to her. That was just the kind of man he was.
Rosa would always thank the heavens that Liana had decided Cape Town held the best chances for her recovery. She would always be grateful because it had meant that Liana had been able to make the end of her mother’s life better. Liana had done so much for her, for Violet, and Rosa would always love her for it.
But perhaps it was time for her to take her husband’s side.
‘No, thank you, darling,’ Liana said. ‘I was just making sure that you were still alive, really. I didn’t know what to think after you stopped replying to my messages.’
‘I’ve been busy.’
‘Yes. Well.’ Liana paused. ‘Since you’re alive and well, I suppose I can leave. Rosa, it was really lovely to see you. And—’ Liana hesitated slightly ‘—does this mean that I’ll be seeing you again in the future?’
‘Always,’ Rosa answered honestly, and then made a split-second decision. ‘Though I was wondering... What are your plans for the rest of the day?’ She saw Aaron step forward—to protest, she thought—but ignored him. ‘Aaron has a function this evening and I don’t have anything to wear. Would you mind taking me to find something appropriate?’
Liana clasped her hands together. ‘Of course I will. I can have Alonso drive us to the boutique immediately. I’ll call Kitty. She’ll have a couple of dresses waiting when we get there.’
Almost vibrating with glee, Liana took out her phone and went to make her phone calls in the kitchen. When Rosa moved to follow, Aaron caught her arm.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Being your wife,’ she replied simply. ‘And doing it the way I should have a long time ago.’
His grip tightened slightly. ‘What does that mean?’
‘I’m going to accompany you to your function tonight.’ It was the easiest explanation.
‘What about your flight?’
‘I’ll change it.’
Or cancel it.
‘Rosa,’ he breathed, and her name was a warning now.
‘Don’t worry,’ she said, and stood on her toes to give him a kiss. When she pulled back, she saw Liana watching them with a smug smile. ‘Ready?’ Rosa asked her mother-in-law, and she nodded. ‘See you later,’ she told Aaron, and ignored his confusion as she picked up her handbag and followed Liana out of the door.
* * *
Rosa had never been a schemer, but when she’d left with his mother that afternoon she’d definitely been scheming.
If her answer about why she was doing it was anything to go by, she was scheming for him. And he couldn’t figure out what that meant. Or how it made him feel.
All he knew was that her scheming wasn’t like his mother’s scheming. He trusted that, even if the very fact that she was scheming worried him. But Rosa was nothing like his mother. Especially since his mother had never, ever done any of her scheming for him.
No, he corrected himself immediately. She had. She was the reason he and Rosa were in this situation in the first place. How had he forgotten that? But then, that made it one scheme for him out of hundreds of schemes for other people. So perhaps this one had really only been for Rosa’s sake.
He paced the f
loor, waiting for Rosa to return, and realised why the fact that his mother didn’t scheme for him bothered him so much. Because if his mother was going to scheme for him, he wished she’d done so a long time ago.
Like when he’d been younger, and had still cared about growing up in a happy family. When he’d wanted a father, and needed a mother. But none of her schemes had done that. Which told him that she wasn’t interested in scheming for him.
Because she’d never wanted him.
Just like his father had never wanted him. And just like he’d thought Rosa had felt when she’d left him.
Now that she was back—now that she’d told him why she’d left—he had to figure out how to get over all the flaws he’d discovered in himself when he’d been trying to figure out why she’d gone.
It left him feeling hopeless. As if he couldn’t be a good son, a good husband, a good father, no matter how hard he tried.
He choked back the emotion when the door rattled and Rosa walked in. And then a different kind of emotion settled inside him, soothing what had been there before, though he knew it shouldn’t.
She wore a royal-blue gown. It had a high neckline adorned with an amazing piece of jewellery, and then creased at one side of her waist before flowing down regally to the floor. The bold necklace was accompanied by matching earrings that he spotted through the spiral of curls around her face.
The colour contrast—the blue of her dress, the bronze of her skin—was striking, and his breath went heavy in his lungs, as if weighed down by her beauty. He’d always been struck by that beauty. It had knocked him down, and then out, and he’d never fully been able to get up again.
It was no different now.
‘Are you going to say anything?’ she said softly after a moment. Only then did he realise he was gawking at her.
‘I...yes. Sorry.’ He shook his head. ‘You look amazing.’
A small smile played on her lips. ‘Thank you.’
‘You meant for me to react this way.’
The smile widened. ‘Well, I was hoping.’ And then faded. ‘Just like now I’m hoping that I don’t end up being sick in this dress.’
He took a step forward. ‘Is there anything I can do?’
‘To keep me from throwing up?’ She smiled kindly. ‘No. But I appreciate the attempt. I’m just going to have to...well, hope.’ She paused. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Fine. Good.’ He frowned. ‘Why?’
‘I haven’t seen you all afternoon. Is it a crime to check in?’
‘No. But you’re checking in for a reason.’
She gave him a look that told him she had no intention of sharing that reason. He bit back a sigh. ‘How were things with my mother?’
‘Fine. I gave her the opportunity to play fairy godmother with me. Willingly, this time.’ She tilted her head. ‘Honestly, she loved it. The dress, and then the shoes.’ She swept the dress from her leg—nearly stopping his heart as he realised the dress had a slit and he could ogle her leg freely—revealing a shoe that sparkled up at him. She let the dress go. ‘Plus, she was thrilled that her plan to get us back together had worked.’
‘And you let her believe that.’ The dry comment wasn’t meant as a question.
‘No, actually, I didn’t. I told her that she needed to think about her actions. That she wasn’t a real fairy, which meant those actions had consequences. And that those consequences affected you.’
He couldn’t formulate a reply.
‘You’re welcome,’ she said with a smirk.
‘I... I don’t know what to say.’
‘I just told you you’re welcome. You don’t have to say anything.’
‘Why?’ he asked, when his mind still couldn’t grasp what was happening.
‘Because someone needed to tell her.’ She paused. ‘I didn’t tell my mother that her actions were affecting me. I expected her to know somehow, or I wished... I wished my father would say something. But he didn’t, and she didn’t, and now—’ She broke off on a slow exhale of air. ‘I wish I’d said something to her. Maybe our relationship would have changed. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt the way that I do now.’
Her eyes had gone distant with the memories, but when she looked at him they cleared. ‘So I thought that if I said something to your mother it might make a difference.’
‘Did it?’
‘She was surprised to hear it.’ She bit her lip. The first show of uncertainty. ‘She didn’t expect anyone to call her out on it.’
‘I never did.’
‘I know.’ She gave him a small sad smile. ‘You just did what it took to make it go away. And while I get that—I did it too—it’s not going to be as easy to do when the baby gets here. And your mother needs to know that.’
‘You told her about the baby?’
‘No. I just said that we’re working things out, and that that means we have to have boundaries.’
‘And she agreed?’
‘We’ll have to see.’ The uncertainty was back. ‘Did I...did I overstep?’
‘No.’ He moved forward and kissed her forehead. ‘No, you didn’t.’ He paused. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome,’ she said again, and rested her head on his chest.
The movement should have comforted him, but instead it sent a ripple through his already unsettled feelings. He wasn’t upset by what she’d done, but he also didn’t know why she’d done it. Or why it felt as if another weight had been added to what he was already carrying on his shoulders.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
HE WASN’T UPSET with her.
He’d told her he wasn’t, and the way he engaged with her seemed to suggest the same. But he’d been distracted on the way to the hotel that was hosting his function. And his usual collected demeanour seemed frazzled.
His colleagues had noticed too. At one point, his partner Frank had spoken about the expansion and Aaron had just looked at him. Had just stared. And then he’d asked Frank to repeat the question, and Frank had shot her a look of concern before replying.
Rosa was worried. She was also beginning to think Aaron’s strange mood had something to do with her. He’d been that way since they’d kissed that afternoon, and she’d broken down in his lap and spilled her deepest, darkest fears to him. Maybe he regretted what he’d said now.
If he did, would it affect how comforted she’d felt because of what he’d said?
She smiled at one of Aaron’s colleagues, accepting their curiosity as a part of the event. She didn’t imagine her absence over the past five months had gone unnoticed. And then the previous day she’d shown up at his office and now she was attending the company function.
It was too good to pass up, and so she forgave the people who looked at her as if somehow that would give them the answers they were hoping for.
She focused her attention back on Aaron, but now he was preparing to give his speech for the evening, and he’d gone even quieter. Her chest ached and her stomach rolled, and she pleaded with the new life growing inside her to give her an evening without throwing up. If she did throw up it would no doubt give the people who were looking at her the answers they wanted.
So perhaps they were right to stare at her.
Thankfully, she made it through Aaron’s speech. Smart, concise, motivating. He was an excellent boss, she thought, and would make an excellent father.
But was he still interested in being an excellent husband?
The evening moved into a more casual phase after Aaron’s speech. The band began to play, the alcohol began to kick in and people were moving to the dance floor. Aaron had been intercepted by one of his employees on his way back to the table, which made it easier for Rosa to excuse herself.
She made her way to the bathroom and then, when she saw the queue to the ladies’ room of the venue, pivoted and went to the elevator.
She almost pressed for the first floor, but then someone might have the same idea as her, so she pressed for the third floor instead.
It was the top floor of the hotel, and she thanked the heavens when she was able to make it there and locate a bathroom before anyone else saw her. She was also grateful that her baby had allowed her to close the door of the stall before she or he demanded that Rosa be sick.
There was more in her stomach than usual, since she’d felt obliged to eat some of the meal they’d served to avoid suspicion, which made the experience longer and more unpleasant. When she straightened her head started to spin, and she had to spend even more time in the stall to make sure she wouldn’t fall over when she exited.
It was all of thirty minutes later by the time she left the bathroom—breath fresh and make-up fixed, thanks to the contents of her bag—and she knew that Aaron would be worried about her. But she still felt a little clammy, and she eyed the door to the balcony before deciding that fresh air might help steady her.
She didn’t know what the sound was at first when she got there. Thought it was in her head, the harsh, unsteady breaths. But when her eyes adjusted she saw a shadow in the corner.
She blinked, realised it was a person sitting hunched on the floor, and was about to leave when she realised that that person was her husband.
* * *
He couldn’t breathe.
It was the damn tie, and the shirt, and the suit jacket. And though his brain was fuzzy and there were a million thoughts going through his mind—or none—some part of it knew he couldn’t throw off all his clothes. So he threw off his jacket, loosened his tie, opened his top button and tried to breathe.
The attempt sounded ragged to his own ears. He was dimly aware of someone else on the balcony and, though he wanted to, he couldn’t bring himself to care. If his employees saw him like this it would break something he didn’t think could be fixed.
He didn’t care.
If Frank saw him it would put their partnership at risk.
He didn’t care.
And yet, when he felt the person crouch down in front of him and he lifted his head and looked directly into Rosa’s eyes, he found himself caring.
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