by Jill Shalvis
Laughing again, Dax shook his head. “It’s not a firing squad, either. It’s going to be fun.” A sigh escaped him when none of the tension left her. “Come on, I can see you’re not going to relax until we get it over with.”
With Taylor snug and happy in one arm, and his other hand firmly holding hers, he drew them into the fray.
They were immediately surrounded.
“Dax! Let me have that baby!” The woman Amber recognized as Suzette pushed her way to the front and took Taylor into her arms. “Oh, she’s beautiful!” She turned a smile on Amber. “Nice to see you again, we’re so glad you could come. Dax has told us all about you.”
Amber shot a look at Dax, wondering what exactly he’d told them about her.
He just lifted a brow and smiled, leaving her clueless, which she was quite certain he knew she hated.
“Taylor is such a good baby.” Suzette sighed dreamily. “I can’t wait to see mine.” She patted her huge belly. “If he or she ever decides to come on out! I’m two weeks overdue now.” She kissed Taylor’s little nose.
Another woman pressed close, looking so much like Suzette that Amber blinked.
“Hey there, Dax.” The woman kissed him, then leaned over Suzette and kissed Taylor, too. “Hey, sweetie.”
Taylor drooled her pleasure and let out her characteristic squeal, which meant, “I like this! Gimme more!”
Everyone laughed.
“Give her to me, Suzette,” the new woman said. “She likes me best anyway.”
“This is Shelley,” Dax informed Amber. “My oldest and most bossy sister.”
“Honestly, Dax, you know perfectly well I’m the bossy one.” Another blond, beautiful woman pushed her way through the crowd.
“Amy.” Dax grinned and endured her bear hug and loud smacking kiss right on the mouth. “And you’re right, it’s a tie. Amber, this is Amy. The baby of the clan.”
“I’m not the baby, you are!” But she smiled widely at Taylor, snatched Taylor from Shelley’s arms and reached out an arm to give Amber a brief hug. “Wonderful to meet you, welcome to the family.”
Hopelessly awkward and yet unbearably touched at the same time, Amber’s heart tied itself into knots. The strange tightness in her chest, the one she associated with Dax, was back. Actually, it hadn’t left since she’d first seen him again.
Hormones, she told herself. That’s all it was.
“Let me in, let me in!” The woman that pushed her way though this time had definitely been blond before the gray had taken over. She came only to Dax’s chest, was twice as wide, and had a face filled with joy and excitement.
She went straight for Taylor. “Let me have that precious little bundle of love! Hand her over to grandma right this instant!”
“That ‘precious little bundle’ smells to high heaven,” Dax warned as Taylor was passed yet again. “She needs to be changed.”
“What, like I’ve never changed a diaper? Yours included.”
“Just giving you fair warning, Mom.”
“Hey there, precious,” she cooed to Taylor, who all but soaked up the attention.
Then Dax’s mother turned with an expectant smile to Amber.
“Amber, this is my mother,” Dax said. “Emily McCall. And watch out, she’s-”
“Happy to meet you,” Emily interrupted smoothly. “My goodness, you’re lovely! I hope you like meat, you’re so thin for just having had a baby! Are you eating enough? Thomas!” she yelled, without waiting for an answer. She gestured wildly to the tall, darkly handsome man working the barbecue. “Thomas, get over here and meet the mother of your newest granddaughter. And bring a fully loaded plate!”
“Oh no, I couldn’t-” Amber protested, only to be hushed by Emily.
Thomas arrived, carting food and a pleasant smile. “Hello.”
Amber held out her hand. Thomas took it, and then gently drew her in for a warm hug. “Welcome,” he said, in the same silky rough voice as his son.
He’d hugged her, was all Amber could think. As if she belonged to the family. The casual, easy, genuine affection startled her. She wanted to somehow savor it, and at the same time, wanted to run for the hills. Hard and fast. “Uh…I’ve got to-”
“Eat,” Emily said smoothly, ignoring the panic that surely they all could see. “She’s got to eat. And drink, too.” She openly eyed Amber’s breasts. “You are breast-feeding that baby I hope.”
Heat raced over Amber’s cheeks, but before she could reply, Dax broke in. “Mom. You promised.”
“So I meddle,” she said, tossing her hands up. “I can’t help it, it’s my job.” Then she smiled so warmly, so openly that Amber never saw it coming. “You need some meat on those bones, girl. Never mind Thomas and Dax, I can’t trust them to feed you right. Come with me.”
At this, both Thomas and Dax grinned, and Amber couldn’t help but imagine her own father, and what his reaction to this little, bossy, demanding, nosy, wonderful woman would be.
One thing she’d always secretly admired about her father was his strength. But at that moment, he would have looked at both Dax and Thomas, at the way they allowed Emily to run their lives, and he’d have instantly labeled them as weak, spineless and insignificant.
And yet nothing could have been further from the truth.
Dax and Thomas were confident, strong-willed men. And she knew exactly how stubborn Dax could be. She suspected his father was the same.
Neither man was weak, not by any means. She was beginning to think maybe it took more fortitude than weakness to allow all members of a family to be equal.
Emily smiled innocently as she continued to railroad Amber with all the subtly of a bull in a china shop. “Are you drinking a full glass of water every hour?”
“Oh. Well, I-”
“Maybe you’re working too hard. Are you managing to get enough sleep? A baby can be so hard on a mother.”
“I told you she was nosy and bossy,” Dax said over his mother’s head.
“Hush you! I told you to scat.” Emily kissed Taylor and passed her back to Dax. “So scat!” Then she took Amber’s hand. “You come with me now, honey.”
Short of being rude, Amber couldn’t resist. She shot a helpless glance over her shoulder at Dax, who just grinned.
No help there.
Then he was swallowed up by the crowd and Amber was left with the petite powerhouse that was Dax’s mother.
9
A MBER WAS QUIET on the drive home, thinking about the glimpse she’d had into Dax’s world.
She’d seen him playful and teasing with his nieces and nephews. Tolerant and protective of his sisters. Loving and warm with his parents.
Then, without warning, he’d cornered her in the foyer against a wall and had kissed her senseless. By the time he’d lifted his head, smiled wickedly and backed away, she’d nearly melted to the floor.
Who was this man, the one who could go from sweet and nurturing, to shatteringly erotic in a nanosecond? It was a sharp reminder of how different they were, for Amber couldn’t imagine letting her emotions run her the way Dax did.
Inside her condo, Amber put a sleeping Taylor in her crib, then occupied herself starting a fire in the living room fireplace.
Dax waited until she had the flames flickering before he tugged her up, turning her around to face him. In an easy show of affection, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled into her eyes. “Hey.”
She tried to move back from him because being in such proximity always made thinking difficult, but he held her in a gentle grip of steel. “Hey back,” she said, trying to look as if being held by such a gorgeous man was an everyday occurrence.
“Talk to me, Amber.”
“About?”
“You.”
The way he looked at her, the way he spoke…as if she were the most important person in his life… It took her breath away.
“You and your family,” she said inanely. “You’re very close.”
“Yes. V
ery.” He cocked his head and studied her. “Is that what’s bothering you? That my family gets along?”
“You laugh, you fight, you…”
“Love. Is that it?”
He understood, she could hear it in his voice. Fearing his pity, she couldn’t quite meet his gaze.
“I know your father isn’t quite the same as mine,” he said carefully.
“Nor was my mother the same as yours.”
“You’ve not said much about her,” he murmured, still close, still touching. Always touching.
“There’s not much to say. She left when I was born.” With long-practiced skill, she shrugged. It no longer mattered. It shouldn’t matter.
“She missed raising a pretty wonderful daughter.”
“I did fine without her.”
His eyes were soft and unusually dark. “Yeah. You did. But you shouldn’t have had to. You should have had her to talk to, to hold you. To love you.”
“Love wasn’t a huge priority in my household.”
“Another shame, but it’s not yours.” He lifted her face and studied her until she squirmed. “Are you listening, Amber? Really listening? I get the idea you somehow think it’s your fault your parents are jerks.”
“No, not jerks. My father never beat me, or forgot to feed me, or anything like that. He took care of me.”
“So he gave you the basics. Big deal. Parenthood is a lot harder than that, and you know it. He failed you. Your mother failed you. Your fiancé failed you, and in a way, I’ve failed you by not being there when you needed me, when you were having Taylor.”
“That was hardly your fault,” she reminded him.
“Still, I won’t fail you again.”
He was deadly serious and more than a little intimidating. “I don’t want to be a responsibility to you,” she said slowly. “I won’t have you come to resent me.”
“Trust me,” he murmured. “It’s much more than that.” His thumb brushed over her lower lip and when she shivered, his eyes darkened even more. “So you were alone for most of your life with a man who obviously hadn’t a clue how to show his emotions. Do you have any idea how amazing your passion is, in spite of all that?”
She laughed, then stopped short when he didn’t smile, just looked at her steadily. “I don’t think of myself as particularly…passionate.”
“No?” His gaze dropped, ran slowly over every inch of her, leaving a rising heat everywhere it touched. “You should.”
“I’d like to think I’m not run by such an emotion.”
“Ah, and I am.” His lips quirked. “Is that it?”
Dammit, she was amusing him. She pushed at his hand, which was still on her face, but he merely tipped up her chin, his long, warm fingers scorching her skin. “Your father told me what he thought of your mother. How he was always afraid you’d be like her.”
“I see. The two of you sat around and discussed me.”
“You came up a few times.”
When she took a step back, he followed, his big hands tender and gentle as he reached for her. “I’m on to you, you know.”
She slapped his hands away and stepped back again. “I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.”
“You’re not like her, Amber, you never could be.”
Determined to avoid this, she took one more step and hit the wall. “No I’m not, because I’m so careful.” Usually. “I’ve always been, but somehow, with you…” His hands caged her in, her breath backed up in her throat. “Somehow you make me forget to watch myself.”
“Really? That’s interesting.” One of his hands slid down her side now, and since her shirt came to the waistband of her skirt and wasn’t tucked in, his fingers slipped under and touched bare skin. “Always so in control.” His thumb slid over her belly and she drew in a shaky breath. “And yet not with me. Could you have feelings for me then? Deep ones?” That hand danced around now to her back, and his thumb made a lazy circle very low on her spine, causing a shiver.
The flare of desire in his eyes didn’t help. “Dax-”
Those magical fingers played lightly over her tingling flesh. She held her breath when he splayed his big, warm hand over her bottom, pressing her to him so that she could feel his erection.
“You don’t want to feel anything for me,” he said huskily. “But I feel something for you. Can you feel what I’m feeling, Amber?”
Oh yeah. He was huge, pulsing against her.
“Can you?”
“I…yes.” Definitely yes.
“Today scared you.”
She stared at him, and he stared back, achingly patient, silently demanding her honesty.
“A little, maybe. All of you. All that passion, all that wild jubilance.”
“And all that unpredictability. You don’t know what to make of me, do you Amber? Or what to expect?”
“No.”
“You hate that.”
“Yes.” But she looked at his mouth and a part of her burned for it to touch hers, fear be damned, all the while aware of how turned on he was. How turned on she was.
“What’s between us is a work in progress,” he said. “It can go as you want. You can be in control.” He nudged even closer. “Or not.”
“Is there really an ‘us’?”
“Yeah,” Dax whispered huskily, no longer surprised by that very fact. “There’s an us.” To show her, he took her mouth with his, the promise echoing in his head as he tasted her.
She kissed him back, but then put a shaking hand to his chest. “I’m not ready for this. For you.”
Neither was he, no matter what a certain body part was screaming. “No rush.”
“Okay. Good.” She licked her already wet lips in a self-conscious gesture he was certain she didn’t mean to make so damn sexy.
“We could just let this attraction sit in the driver’s seat,” he said. “And see where it takes us.”
“I feel as though I should pull over and ask for directions.”
He smiled. “Do we need a map then?”
“I do, yes. I need a plan.”
“You can’t always plan matters of the heart, I’m learning.” He set his forehead to hers. “You’re my case in point.”
Her dark eyes were liquid and full of unmistakable yearning. He wished, just once, that she would speak of that yearning, instead of fighting it.
Then she closed her eyes.
“No fair hiding.” He touched his lips to the corner of her mouth, hovering there, thrilling to her quick intake of breath. “Look at me.”
Both her eyes and her mouth opened slightly, and she leaned toward him, clearly wanting, expecting, needing a kiss. “Dax…”
“Tell me what you want, Amber.”
Instead, she shifted closer, dropped her gaze to his lips.
“With words.” He smiled wickedly. “It’s your plan, you’re the one in control, remember?”
“You want me to say it.”
She sounded so scandalized he nearly laughed. “Yeah.” Softly, in a barely there touch, he kissed the other side of her mouth.
She moaned, and the sound made him hot. “Tell me.”
Pleasure sighed out of her when he slid his fingers into her hair, but though she turned into him, pressed her body to his, she remained silent.
He drew back.
She let out an exploding sigh. “Okay! Kiss me, dammit!”
“If you insist,” he murmured demurely.
The connection was combustive, instantly sizzling, and there was no way to hold back his low growl of helpless arousal, no way he wanted to.
Already it wasn’t enough. The kiss wasn’t enough.
Threading his fingers through her silky soft hair, he angled her for a deeper, hotter, wetter kiss. Their bodies swayed together. He could feel her breasts against his chest, her belly flat to his, and when he rocked slowly, melding their hips into a perfect fit so that he could feel the heat between her thighs, he nearly died right there. “If you need a road map to my fe
elings here,” he murmured. “Let me assure you, I want more.”
Her breath wasn’t any more steady when she met his gaze warily. “How much more?”
He wanted it all. He wanted her to willingly shed that cool, calm control to give him the real Amber beneath. “You know how much I want. Now tell me what you want.”
She loosened a fist from his hair, then smoothed that hand over his chest, from one side to another, and just that light touch sent his head spinning.
“Words,” he said. “Tell me in words.”
“I want…” Helplessly, she lifted her head. “You. But I don’t know what to do.”
“Are we talking about a physical want?”
She nodded.
If it had been any other woman telling him they wanted him, it would have made Dax’s evening.
But this wasn’t any other woman, it was Amber, and he suddenly wanted far more than her physical want. Swallowing his disappointment, he let out a laugh. “I remember you knowing exactly what to do before.”
Her body was taut and quivering as he kissed her this time, telling him plainly what her mouth seemed to be struggling with, and heat roared through his veins. He caressed her slim back, up and down, slowly, fingers spread wide so he could touch as much of her as possible. She did the same, running her hands all over him. Then, slowly, he ended the kiss.
Her eyes were huge on his. “What?”
“I just wanted to make sure you’re still in the driver’s seat. I know how important that is to you.”
He’d been only teasing, but she frowned, seriously considering. “I’m okay. I think.” She looked at him. “More.”
“Mmm. Aggressive.” He stroked his hands down her hips, past her thighs, to the hem of her skirt, then skimmed them back up again, beneath the material now, to…ah, those legs. At the feel of lace, then soft, bare thighs, he groaned.
She squirmed and looked defensive. “They’re more comfortable then regular nylons.”
“Thank God for comfort.”
“And they don’t seem to snag like the others-”
“And thriftiness, too.”
“They’re very practical, you know.”
He laughed. “You can’t be thinking I don’t like them.”
