by Mia Ross
“Pretty much. I’m so sorry for what I did,” he added solemnly. “If I could go back and undo it, I would.”
In those words, she heard more than an apology for what he’d done to her. It was a plea for forgiveness for the mistakes he’d made that had hurt the people he cared most about, and who cared about him. He’d come a long way, but he still had some work to do. Viewed from that perspective, his efforts to bring Mom and her back together—misguided as they were—struck her as incredibly sweet.
“I understand why you did it.” His demeanor brightened, and she shook a stern finger at him. “But I’m still furious with you, so don’t think you’re off the hook or anything. The last person I wanted to see today was my weak, self-centered mother.”
“You know that’s ironic, right? I mean, it’s Mother’s Day.”
“Don’t get smart with me, Barrett. You’re on very thin ice here.” Her blustering didn’t make much of a dent with him, and she couldn’t help responding to the crooked grin he was wearing. “You’re hopeless.”
“Actually, that’s one of the nicest things a woman’s ever said about me.”
As he climbed from the cab, she snorted derisively. “Why do I have no trouble believing that?”
He made no move to touch her, but as the gaze they shared grew less combative, she felt as if he had. The strength he carried with him wrapped around her as surely as any embrace, drawing her closer the way it had the very first day she met him.
“I’d never intentionally do anything to hurt you,” he murmured, dark eyes glimmering with the fondness she’d seen in them more often lately. Suddenly, the emotion in them deepened, and alarm bells began clanging in her head. He wasn’t holding her, and she could easily retreat from him. But as hard as she tried, she simply couldn’t make herself look away.
“I love you, Jenna.”
Her heart thudded to a stop, and she vigorously shook her head to dispel the terrifying thought. “No, you don’t.”
“Yeah, I do. Trust me, I’m not crazy about it, either,” he confided with a sigh. “I’ve got enough going on without adding you to the mix.”
“How flattering.”
Groaning, he looked at his shoes and shook his head before focusing back on her. “Sorry, I’m not doing this right. What I meant was, I wasn’t planning on falling in love with you. It happened when I wasn’t paying attention. Does that make any sense at all?”
Jenna wasn’t sure what to say to that, and while she searched for an appropriate response, she mulled over his stunning revelation.
Scott Barrett was in love with her.
She knew how intimidating it was to go out on that limb and be the first to say it with no guarantee you’d hear it in return. Determined not to follow her mother’s deplorable example with men, Jenna had never offered those priceless words to any man she’d known, even when they’d begged her to.
But this was different. Scott wasn’t pleading for her affection, because he already had it. Abruptly, it dawned on her that somewhere along the way she’d fallen in love with him, too.
Closing the gap he’d left between them, she dangled her arms over those broad shoulders and put an end to his obvious misery. “I guess it make sense, because that’s what happened to me.”
“You mean—”
She cut him off with a long, delicious kiss. Pulling back, she smiled up at the one man she’d ever known who loved her enough and was stubborn enough to refuse to let her walk away from him. “I love you, too.”
Joy flooded his eyes, and he nearly crushed her in a grateful hug.
“I’m still mad at you,” she warned, cozily circled in his arms. “You went way out of bounds, tracking down my mother like that. How did you manage it, anyway?”
“I knew her name and where you were living ten years ago. With the internet, it really wasn’t that hard. To be honest, I’m a little puzzled why you didn’t try it yourself.”
It was impossible to properly explain her motives to someone who didn’t understand how it felt to be tossed aside like trash. For lack of anything better, she said, “She left me behind, and I never wanted to see her again.”
“You might feel differently when you see what she brought for you.”
Jenna’s eyes drifted to the book he’d left beside her front door. After all these years, the little girl who still existed inside her hopped up excitedly, wondering about her gift. Wary of being disappointed yet again, the adult side of her marched in and took over. “Maybe.”
“I can stay, if you want.” Seeming to sense her conflicting emotions, Scott gave her shoulders an encouraging squeeze. “Come on. It’s just a book. It can’t hurt you.”
It could flatten her, though, and she wasn’t up for that right now. Then again, if he was with her, she’d be able to handle it better. Oddly enough, she didn’t consider tucking the book away and never opening it.
Foolish or curious? she asked herself. Probably a bit of both. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”
Taking a deep breath, she opened the scrapbook and on the first page in scripted letters she saw her name arched over her very first drawing: a faded sketch of a kitten she’d scribbled on a Dairy Queen napkin. In the bottom corner was the date, added in her mother’s handwriting. Running a fingertip over it, Jenna whispered, “I did this when I was four. I can’t believe she kept it all this time.”
Scott didn’t say anything, but he edged closer and put an arm around her. She needed every ounce of his comforting presence as she leafed through the artistic retrospective of her life from elementary-school art-show awards to recent newspaper articles applauding her unique creative style. By the time she got to the final page, the tears she’d been holding back were too much for her.
Suddenly exhausted, she buried her face in Scott’s chest and gave in to years’ worth of bitterness and frustration. She cried for the girl she had been, and the rootless young woman who’d roamed the country searching for a place she could finally call home.
When she’d calmed down a bit, she let out a heavy sigh. “All this time I thought she didn’t care where I was or what I was doing. But she did.”
“I got to talk to her at the picnic,” he said, kissing the top of Jenna’s head. “She said she left to give you a chance at a better life. I got the feeling she believed she wasn’t enough family for you.”
“But she could’ve been.” Jenna sobbed as more tears rushed in. “All she had to do was try.”
“Maybe she didn’t know how,” he reasoned in a gentle tone. “Or she saw how much you liked Vicky’s family and thought you’d be happier with them.”
Jenna angled her head back and met his sympathetic gaze. “Your mom would never have done that to you.”
“No, but she wasn’t on her own, either. Her parents used to live in Cambridge, and she’s got family all over the area who would’ve helped her if she needed it. You guys moved around a lot, so your mom had to handle everything by herself.”
“Having a new boyfriend every month didn’t help much, either.”
“I’m not touching that one.”
“Smart man.” When his comments registered with her more clearly, she asked, “Did she really tell you she left so I’d have a real family?”
“That was my take on it, anyway. If you wanna know for sure what she meant, you’ll have to ask her yourself.”
Direct and to the point, the response was typical Scott. While he’d stopped short of telling her what to do, he hadn’t skirted the issue, either. He’d given her his opinion, and the rest was up to her. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good for you.”
Because she wasn’t ready to let him go just yet, Jenna cuddled against him, savoring the sensation of feeling safe and protected. She didn’t know if she had it in her to forgive her mother’s behavior, but she
made herself a promise.
She wouldn’t allow the shadows in her past to keep her from making a bright future with this wonderful, complicated man. She loved Scott, and he loved her. For her, that was more than enough.
Chapter Twelve
“Wow,” Scott breathed, standing back to admire the restored stained-glass window. “It looks incredible.”
“It really does, doesn’t it? Once I had the glass cutting and snapping technique down, Jenna let me do most of the work,” Gretchen added, glancing up at her father for his reaction.
“Hard to believe you could piece it all back together,” he agreed, giving her a proud hug around the shoulders. Over her head, he met Jenna’s eyes and mouthed, Bless you.
“She’s a natural,” Jenna told him, winking at her eager assistant. “Any time you want some extra money, there’s always plenty for you to do at my studio.”
“Maybe I could even do my own projects someday,” she suggested, enthusiasm lighting her eyes.
“A definite possibility.” Jenna’s cell phone rang, and she pulled it from the bib pocket on her overalls. “It’s my stained-glass guru, Kurt. I can get back to him later.”
“We’ve gotta be going anyway,” Gretchen said with a sigh. “My chem final is tomorrow, and I’ve got some last-minute cramming to do.”
“Attagirl. School first.” Jenna held up her hand for a high five. “Knock ’em dead, kiddo.”
“I will. And thanks again for letting us help you guys put the window in. It’s really cool seeing it back where it belongs.”
“It sure is,” Scott agreed as he and Jenna walked their guests to their car. “Have a good one.”
After the Lewises had driven away, the text alert on Jenna’s phone went off, and then she saw the voice-mail notification pop up, as well. “It’s Kurt. Must be important.”
Curious, she put the phone on speaker and hit the button for her voice mail. Without preamble, his voice came over the tiny speakers, shouting above the din of a grinding wheel in the background.
“Have I got a proposition for you. A buddy of mine is starting up a gallery in Knoxville, and one of his artists just backed out of the opening. I showed him that portfolio you put online, and he’s very interested in seeing some of your current work. The only hitch is he wants the artists on-site to meet buyers, maybe take on some custom orders to help get the business up and running. I know you’re dug in for the summer, but Tennessee’s not all that far to drive to meet him. Let me know what happens.”
“He sounds pretty excited,” Scott commented with a chuckle. “You’d think it was him getting the interview.”
“That’s Kurt,” she explained with a fond smile. “I think I remind him of his daughter.”
“She’s an artist, too?” Scott asked as they settled into the chairs on the front porch.
“Marine biologist. But she’s passionate about what she does, and he’s really proud of her. She lives on her boat, and he replaced the original windows with a series of stained-glass ocean scenes. They’re gorgeous.”
The text he’d sent her included a connection to the gallery’s website. She recognized Milo Polhein’s name from her years on the circuit, and smiled when she read in the bio section that marriage and impending fatherhood had convinced him it was time to settle down somewhere. Being a native Tennessean, he’d chosen his hometown and was now actively acquiring distinctive pieces for discerning clients seeking only the very best.
Translation: people with excellent taste and the money to back it up. Any artist she’d ever met would have jumped at this opportunity, she knew. Her mind wandered back to her conversation with Chelsea and Amy in the nursery when she’d confided to them that seeing her work hanging in a high-end gallery would be a dream come true.
She left the gallery’s home page up on her screen and stared at it, trying to sort through the thoughts flying around in her head.
“What’re you thinking?” Scott asked.
When she looked over, she saw him leaning back in his chair, a beat-up work boot across one knee in the careless pose that probably fooled a lot of people. Not her, though. She’d learned to check his eyes if she really wanted to know how he felt about something. In them, she found a blend of curiosity and fear, as if he was anxious to hear her answer and dreading it at the same time.
“I’m not sure. I mean, a couple months ago I would’ve pounced on something like this. But now...” She shrugged.
“You’re not saying that ’cause of me, are you?”
Balancing her elbows on the arm of her chair closest to his, she smiled. “You mean, because you said you love me?”
“You said you love me, too,” he pointed out with a cocky grin. “Remember?”
The lighter tone made her laugh. “How could I forget? It was only yesterday.”
“Best day of my life.”
The deft shift to a more serious attitude nearly gave her whiplash, and she pivoted to keep up. Leaning in, she gave him a leisurely kiss that made them both smile.
“Mine, too. Things are going really well for us, and that means everything to me. But this is an incredible break for me, so now I’m torn. I’ve been working toward something like this for a long time, but I don’t wanna mess up what we have.”
“Giving up on your dream would do that, big-time,” he informed her sternly. “I don’t want you looking back in a few years, wondering what you could’ve accomplished if you’d just taken that leap. Go talk to this Milo guy. See what he has to say. After that, you’ll know what to do.”
Scott was showing the utmost faith in her, and Jenna recognized just how far he’d come from the cynical man who’d first crossed her path all those weeks ago. Not only had he readjusted to life in his hometown, he’d learned to trust people again. The transformation was too stunning for words, and she knew God had more than a slight hand in it.
“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go to Knoxville and meet him.” Inspiration struck, and she sat up excitedly. “Is there any way you can come with me?”
Grimacing, he shook his head. “Even if the law would let me, I wouldn’t go along. This is your thing, Jenna. You don’t need me tagging after you, making it all more complicated than it needs to be.”
“I don’t feel that way.”
“I appreciate that, but I’m staying here, out of your way.” Brushing a kiss over her lips, he murmured, “Don’t worry. I’ll be here when you get home.”
Home.
That simple word hit her hard, because that was how she felt when she was with him: at home. It hadn’t escaped her that he’d painted his house her favorite color and had let her plant whatever kind of flowers she wanted in the neglected garden. They could make this their place, she knew, and the pull of that new dream was almost more than she could resist.
But he wouldn’t allow her to settle down in Barrett’s Mill until she was absolutely certain she didn’t want something else. More than anything, it told her just how much he loved her. Wanting her there with him, but willing to let her go, because her happiness was as important to him as his own.
“You better be here,” she retorted, hoping to buoy his drooping spirits. “Because I love you, you crazy, obstinate man, and I’ll be back.”
* * *
The three days Jenna was gone felt more like a month.
Scott had grown accustomed to spending most of his off-hours with her, and without her lively company to distract and entertain him, time pretty much stood still. He envisioned her schmoozing with the gallery owner and other artists, enjoying some time with people as creative as she was. It must be fun for her to share stories and discuss concepts with folks who actually understood what she was talking about. A far cry from being the only artist in a town buried in the shadows of the Blue Ridge Mountains. He knew it was pointless to wonder what s
he was thinking, but at times he simply couldn’t help himself.
Those were the times when he forced himself to focus on something—anything—besides what might be going on in Knoxville. The good news was he’d finished Amy’s headboard way ahead of schedule, and his sister-in-law was thrilled.
The bad news was he’d come up with several different scenarios for Jenna’s homecoming, and most of them ended badly. Worst-case scenario, he figured she’d be offered the spot in Milo’s opening and snap it up because it was her dream. Then she’d get attached to the more exciting pace of life in Knoxville and never come back. Best-case scenario, she’d get the offer, decide it wasn’t the right fit for her free-spirited soul and turn it down. Then she’d settle permanently in Barrett’s Mill. With him.
In his saner moments, he recognized that the second option was about as selfish as it could get, and he chided himself for thinking that way. This was Jenna’s career, after all, and her life. While their growing feelings for one another might end up playing a role in her decision, they shouldn’t be front and center. In his experience, the middle alternative normally won out, and he resigned himself to the likelihood that she’d eventually decide to take the temporary spot in Milo’s gallery.
The notion that it might not be offered to her never occurred to him. While he wasn’t an expert, he could see her work had a special quality to it. Whether humorous garden gnome or touching family portrait, everything she created possessed some kind of emotion that spoke to people. Even to him, someone who’d always leaned more toward the practical end of the spectrum than the sentimental. Jenna had helped him find something in himself he hadn’t known was there before he met her. Now that it was out in the open, he had to find a way to deal with it.
The trouble was he couldn’t tackle this dilemma with his usual pragmatic mind-set. Strong feelings such as these couldn’t be reasoned away. He searched for another approach but came up blank.
Personal tug-of-war wasn’t his favorite pastime, so Scott paused in his sweeping of the chapel floor to glance up for a quick request. “Whatever she ends up doing, I just want to be able take it well. If You could help me make that happen, I’d really appreciate it.”
