Robert gestured to two servants hovering nearby. “Please see Lord Baywith to his chamber.” He leaned down and kissed the old man’s cheek. “Good night, Father. Sleep well.”
They watched as the men helped their liege from the room.
Robert turned and smiled at her. “Thank you for putting up with an old man’s ramblings. He thinks the world of you, Elizabeth.” Robert took a sip of wine from the cup he carried. “Would you care to adjourn to my study? We can have a quieter conversation there.”
She decided to do so. If Baywith had put any notions into Robert’s head of their marrying, she wanted them dispelled. Now.
She followed him down the corridor to the small room. A fire burned in its grate. A chessboard sat on a small table, its pieces ready for two players. Nearby was a carafe of wine and two cups with a wedge of cheese and some apples. Elizabeth had no doubt Robert was up to something.
He ushered her in and closed the door behind him. “Would you care to match wits?” He motioned to the chessboard.
“No, thank you. I am rather tired from making the rounds of the estate these past few days. I fear my concentration would not do justice to our game. Mayhap another time.”
She sat in one of the chairs by the game board, though. Robert ambled over and stood with his back to the fire.
“There’s wine if you’d like some.”
“No, I have had my share of food and drink for today. You have been a most excellent host.”
A silence fell between them. She studied her hands lying in her lap. She’d never experienced being uncomfortable in Robert’s company before. She thought it possible she had misread the situation entirely. If so, she was being grossly unfair to her good friend.
“Elizabeth?”
Robert’s voice interrupted her thoughts. She looked to him and saw a longing on his face. After having been with Gavin, she could not mistake it. Had she been blind all these years? When did Robert gain an affection for her? Had it always been there, hidden away till Aldred was gone?
And how would she handle it now?
“Yes, Robert?” She tried to still her heart, which beat uncomfortably against her chest.
He stepped away from the fire and sat across from her. “I would speak to you about something of great consequence. Something that might take you by surprise.”
She decided not to mince words. “That you fancy yourself in love with me and wish us to marry?”
His jaw dropped open, and then a brilliant smile stole across his features. He swept chess pieces from the board and reached across to take her hands in his.
“Oh, my dearest one, I had no idea that you knew. I was to keep silent but have been eager to share my devotion to you.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean? Keep silent?”
He chuckled. “I thought perhaps Aldred changed his mind and spoke to you after all.”
“Told me what?” She cocked her head to one side. “Of what do you speak, Robert?”
He studied her, a solemn look now upon his face. “Then he did not, as we had agreed.” He gave her hands a squeeze. “Before he died, Lord Aldred and I discussed your future.”
Anger swept through her. “You deliberated my future? Did either of you think to include me in such discussions?” Her tone was sharp as she withdrew her hands from his.
“Oh, Elizabeth, you know how Aldred worshipped the very ground you trod upon. He only wanted to see you adequately cared for when he was gone.”
She crossed her arms in front of her. “I see. And you are the one appointed to care for me?”
He smiled. “’Tis only natural, Elizabeth. I’ve been in love with you from the moment I laid eyes upon you, years and years ago.”
“But,” she stammered, “what of your betrothed? The one who died of plague? I thought you carried such strong memories of her. You would choose never to marry because of her. You told me so yourself.”
“Do you think I could reveal to you how I felt?” He stood. “I can see how you would be confused. You were married to Aldred. I was betrothed to another. When she died, I gave thanks to God in His Heaven. I led everyone to believe I mourned deeply for her, when she was but little more than a stranger to me.”
He paused and gazed at her with an intensity that frightened her. “You are the only one I have loved, Elizabeth. I knew the day would come when Aldred would no longer stand between us. When he told me our marriage was the very thing he had in mind, I could have cried tears of joy.”
She stood and began pacing the small room. “So the two of you decided what my life would be, without regard as to how I felt? You plotted and schemed? Did you ever think the king might be averse to your plans?”
He came and stood before her, grasping her elbows in his hands. “Aldred wrote Edward before his death, asking that he consider our marriage and the joining of our estates, in part as a show of respect for Aldred’s many years of good service. He felt certain that Edward would look favorably upon such a wise union.”
She started to pull away, but Robert held fast to her. “Elizabeth, you need never leave Kentwood. We can live there the rest of our lives. You will be safe and not bartered about. I will show you love and devotion like no man has ever shown a woman. I love you, Elizabeth, dearest. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy.”
She shook her head from side to side in refusal, her fists balled at her sides. “But Aldred said his letter was to ask the king to allow Gavin a place in his royal guard. I saw it, Robert. Aldred would not have lied to me. I knew him too well. I would have known of such a scheme.”
Robert shook her gently. “Listen to me, Elizabeth. He gave the letter to me. He refused to have you to worry about him. He knew it depressed you when he spoke of his ill health. I sent the courlieu myself. The missive had Aldred’s seal, but it was my messenger that reached the king.”
He sighed. “’Tis sorry I am that this has taken you by surprise. I am sure Aldred did write Edward of Gavin, whatever the case might be. Gavin’s been so secretive since he arrived, nothing like he was in the old days. I cannot understand why he will not simply return home to Ashgrove. Why does he insist upon hanging about Kentwood, acting as head of the guard when one day he will inherit Ashgrove? Why does he wish a place among Edward’s guard?”
Her temper flared, but she reigned it in, not wanting to betray the history of Gavin’s two years of imprisonment in France and rejection by his father. Instead, she dropped further discussion of Gavin and returned to the problem at hand.
”’Tis more than surprise I feel now, Robert. ‘Tis anger. I am furious that you and Aldred plotted with the king behind my back.”
He gave her a sobering look. “You could very well go to a stranger, Elizabeth. The king may marry you off to whomever he chooses. Think, would you? You are an intelligent woman. I offer you a life that you have known, in a place that you love, with people who adore you. I have loved you for years and kept my distance and my silence, but now I will speak and be heard. I want you, Elizabeth. You and Kentwood. ‘Tis within my grasp. Aldred believed Edward would allow you the time he asked for so you could adjust to this idea.”
She straightened her spine, her chin rising. “Did you not think I should have a hand in what happened? You and Aldred treat me as a child. I am a woman, Robert, a strong-willed woman who will—”
He grabbed her by the shoulders, his fingers painfully keeping her in place. “We can be happy together, you and I. I know it. You will grow to love me. I have never been more certain of anything else.”
Robert pressed his lips to hers. Elizabeth squirmed, turning her face away from the unwanted kiss. When she met his eyes, he was no longer the charming man she’d known for so many years, the one who’d been like the brother she’d never had. A maniacal light glowed in his eyes. It frightened her.
He took her face between his palms and forced another kiss upon her, holding her still under his grasp. She chose not to fight him this time. She went totally still instead, numbed by all that had occurred.
When he finished, she raised her gaze to his. He looked down upon her, a satisfied smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “We are meant to be together, Elizabeth. You shall see.”
CHAPTER 20
Gavin pondered Elizabeth’s silence. Every time they reached a tenant’s cottage, she was all smiles and courteous charm. The minute they left, however, she fell mute. So far, he hadn’t asked what was wrong. He sensed she would tell him in good time.
Something troubled her, though. He thought it had to do with Robert’s father. Mayhap seeing the man in such ill health brought a painful reminder of Aldred’s last days. Still, he hoped she would shake off these feelings. They had so little time to spend together, alone in this way. With a castle full of people, he couldn’t fathom another way of being alone with her after they completed their rounds today.
Unless he was the problem.
Did she regret the kisses they shared, his caresses along her sweet curves? Did the idea of making love with him displease her? Had he read more into the feelings he’d supposed she held for him?
True, neither had spoken with words, but he thought her body responded to his touch as if she truly cared for him. Why was she now distancing herself from him? Had she settled into the idea that he was not to be her fate? Mayhap fear of becoming with child before going to another husband troubled her. If that was the case, he could understand her reluctance.
Time drew to a close, and they visited the last cottage on Kentwood land. He walked his horse beside hers, as close as he dared without actually touching her as they made their way back to the castle proper.
It was torture, pure and simple.
“I wish to speak to you, my lord.”
Elizabeth’s voice startled him, as she’d not addressed him at all this day. It was stiff, formal, with none of the emotion he longed to hear. Gavin steeled himself for her words, even as he craved to cut them short with a sweet kiss.
“Would you care to discuss it now, my lady?”
She halted her mount in the road, her eyes anxious. “I would prefer that, yes.” She hesitated. “We are not far from the cottage we stopped at yesterday. I would like to rest there.”
She bit down on her lip and spurred her horse into a trot. Her behavior puzzled him. To go to the cottage, they would truly be isolated, not in the open. Dare he hope she wanted to speak with her lips and not with words?
They arrived and entered much as the last time. Homer chose to scamper outside near their tethered horses. The spring day had turned warm, so he did not offer to build a fire. Elizabeth went and sat upon the same chair as before. He took the one next to her.
Immediately, she sprang up and started pacing the small room. Gavin let her take her time. He knew she would speak when ready.
Finally, she marched straight over to stand in front of him. As he looked up at her, he saw tears welling in her eyes. Elizabeth did not seem a woman who shed them lightly. He reached for her hand, linking his fingers with hers. She clutched him tightly, holding on as if her very life depended upon it.
“My lady?”
A sob escaped, and he immediately pulled her into his lap. He stroked her hair, whispering softly to her, trying to reassure her, not knowing what ailed her so.
Finally, the tears subsided. She lifted her head from his chest and studied his face intently, as if she wished to memorize it.
“Tell me we can be together, Gavin. Tell me we could run away, just the two of us. Leave Kentwood and its inhabitants behind. No thought as to the consequences.”
His arms tightened about her. “I wish I could grant such a request, sweetheart, but I fear the king would have my head upon a platter when he caught up to us. Marrying without his permission would only be the start of our woes.”
He had not shared with her why he’d arrived at Kentwood and thought he owed her an explanation now. “I was brought up a nobleman’s son in the north country, an only child to an overbearing father and a mother who smothered me with kisses and then disappeared for days at a time, lost in her prayers. My happiest times were fostering at Kentwood with Lord Aldred and fighting with him in France. When I fell captive in battle, my father refused to pay the ransom that would win me my freedom. I cannot tell you how I questioned his decision to abandon me to my captors’ contempt.”
Her hand stroked the side of his face. Her touch and knowing he could never truly be one with her left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Her voice soft, she asked, “What happened, Gavin?”
“When I escaped, I returned to my home, only to find my mother dead and my father remarried. He informed me that I was not his son. My mother got herself with child by another man. Berwyn said he would kill me if I returned to Ashgrove ever again. So I turned to Aldred, the one man I trusted with my life.”
Gavin took her hand from his face and kissed her open palm tenderly. “I have nothing to offer you, sweetest Elizabeth. No estate. Not even my good name, for I have not a clue who my sire was. We can never be, my love. I was selfish to express my longings to you yesterday. You must go to whomever the king sends you, for it could never be me.”
Pain was written across her brow. “Even if that man is Robert? Would you see me with your dearest friend, Gavin? Imagine me lying in his arms? Bearing his children? Knowing ‘tis you I want above all others, and that I die inside more each day I am separated from you?”
The image she created forced the breath from him, sure as he’d been punched in his gut. He could have envisioned her going to a faceless man in a nameless place, but not to the very next estate, where her body would be worshipped by his most treasured companion.
“No,” he whispered. “It cannot be.”
Elizabeth bit her lip, her eyes squeezing closed. “Yes,” she replied. “Robert informed me he and Aldred planned it without my knowledge. That Aldred wrote to the king and asked him to consider the request once he died.”
She opened her eyes, and Gavin saw sheer desperation in them. “Edward thought the world of Aldred. He is sure to grant a dying man’s wish.” She leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. “And I cannot imagine a life with Robert, at Kentwood, only to pass you, day after day, at the head of the guard.”
Her tears began to flow again. “I hunger so for you, Gavin. I cannot live if I am not with you.”
Her hiccups began again, bringing a smile to his tormented soul. He should remove himself from her presence now, leave Kentwood immediately, yet her body pressed closer to his, like a siren’s song he was helpless to command.
He touched his fingers to her cheeks, brushing away the tears that fell against porcelain skin. Slowly, he brought his mouth to hers, brushing it ever so gently. He felt her tremble at his touch. He stood, with her in his arms, and once more placed her upon the bed of straw in the corner of the tiny room. She looked up at him with such trusting eyes, he felt his own moisten as he bent over her.
“I love you,” he said, his thumbs tracing her eyebrows, smoothing them. He ran his hands along her face and cradled it gently between them. “I would make you a part of me, Elizabeth. A part that can never belong to Robert. ‘Twill only be mine.”
“Yes,” she whispered, pulling him down to her.
Gavin kissed her slowly, wanting to savor this moment in time, mayhap the only one they would ever again spend alone.
The world ceased to exist as he deepened the kiss. Elizabeth sighed at his touch. The hands that stroked her ignited a fire within her. She didn’t care if it blazed out of control. Normally, she would think ahead, worry about the consequences of such foolish actions. For once, though, consequences be damn
ed. She was with the most beautiful man in the world, a man who’d just proclaimed his love for her.
She chose to speak from her heart. “I love you, Gavin. I do love you so.”
She pushed her hands into his raven locks, stroked his chest, longed to make him purr as his little cat Homer did. His hands were everywhere, calling out to her, searing her with his touch.
“I wish I had sweet words of poetry to tell you how your beauty affects me,” he told her, nuzzling her neck. “I always thought poets silly creatures, raving about a woman’s looks, but I find I have no words to do you justice now.”
“Oh, Gavin,” she replied, “you are a painter, love, and I your canvas. Let your hands be the brush that tells our tale.”
A Bit of Heaven on Earth Page 16
