by Autumn Reed
“Julie, have you met Chase’s lovely girlfriend, Haley?” Gran’s introduction ended with a wink, making me blush. I avoided looking at Ethan, half-wondering if he would make a snarky comment about my title. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Wow, Haley. I’ve heard so much about you, it’s hard to believe we’ve never met.”
I tried to hide my surprise. It was odd to think of Ethan talking to his aunt about me. I assumed he’d never bothered mentioning me to her since we’d never had a reason to meet. The same thought never crossed my mind in regards to Chase and his grandmother, and I wondered why that was. Maybe because Chase was such an open person while Ethan was . . . not?
Julie looked between me and Chase. “I didn’t realize you two . . .” Her gaze shot to Ethan, and her expression mimicked a light bulb switching on. “Ohhh.”
I stiffened as an awkward silence fell over the group. She was obviously drawing incorrect conclusions about why Ethan left the team. Not that I hadn’t played a role. She could blame me, if she wanted. It was a heck of a lot easier than explaining the truth.
“Julie,” Gran finally said. “Let’s get you a mug of apple cider. I know it’s your favorite, and it turned out extra cinnamony this year.”
“I’ve been looking forward to it all day.” Ethan’s aunt gave me another curious glance. “It was nice to meet you, Haley. Chase . . .” She moved forward to give him a hug. “Don’t be such a stranger. I miss seeing your handsome face around the house.”
“I won’t.” It might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn his cheeks reddened. Did he have a crush on Ethan’s aunt at some point? It wouldn’t be surprising. She was an attractive woman, and not so much older that he wouldn’t have noticed.
Once Gran and Julie disappeared into the kitchen, Ethan turned to the two of us, hands in his pockets. “That wasn’t at all awkward.”
I knew not to be fooled by his casual stance; that sharp tongue of his could reappear at any moment. “I’m pretty sure your aunt thinks it was my fault you moved to Miami.”
He quirked a brow, as if to say, wasn’t it? “You’re probably right. She never quite bought the lame excuse I gave her for my decision to leave.”
“What’s going on with your suspension?” Chase asked, smoothly changing the subject. “Have you heard anything yet?”
“I had a meeting with Patrick yesterday.”
“And?” Chase’s hopeful expression told me all I needed to know about his and Ethan’s relationship. It may have been damaged, but it wasn’t beyond repair. He was clearly pulling for his friend.
“I didn’t get fired.” Ethan said it like it was barely good news, but Chase gave him a relieved smile anyway.
“That’s great!”
“Yeah, congratulations,” I piped up, genuinely happy for him.
“Thanks. I’m on indefinite probation, though. According to Kenneth James, I’m not a team player and can’t be trusted. I’m determined to prove him wrong, but I have a feeling it will take a while.”
I thought of the demanding regional director for the D.C. office and wasn’t surprised by his rather harsh assessment of Ethan’s character. If Patrick hadn’t interceded, Ethan probably wouldn’t have been given this second chance.
“Are you staying in Miami?” Chase asked.
“I don’t know.” He fidgeted, moving his hands to his back pockets. The uncertainty seemed out of place on someone as confident as Ethan. “What are your thoughts about me coming home? Think I’d be stoned in the town square?” His flippant tone didn’t hide the hope in his question. He was homesick and looking for what—permission? Approval?
Chase glanced at me, and I gave him a slight nod. If he wanted Ethan to move back, I wouldn’t stand in the way. Things would probably always be somewhat awkward between us, but I could handle it. At least I finally knew I was completely over him and what happened. “It’s not the same around here without you,” Chase replied.
“What about the rest of the team? Do you think they’ll object?”
“No, but you should stop by the office sometime and let them tell you that in person.”
Ethan didn’t appear totally convinced. When his gaze swept to me, I inhaled, readying myself for the question I assumed was coming. But instead of asking for my blessing to move home, he apologized.
“I was a jerk in Dallas, and I’m sorry.”
Walking out on him in the middle of lunch immediately sprang to mind. “Didn’t we try this once already?”
He smirked, but it didn’t annoy me like it once would have. It was such an Ethan thing to do—if he was too nice, I would never believe he was being sincere.
“We did, but I screwed it up. Thankfully, I know you have a big heart and am hoping that will benefit me. I’m not sure we can ever be friends again, but I’d like to know we’re not enemies.”
“You were never my enemy. May I ask you something, though?”
“Go for it.”
“What’s different now from last month? Have you truly gotten over your disapproval of my relationships, or are you merely putting on a good face for Chase’s benefit?”
He barked out a laugh. “Wow, you’ve gotten blunt since I left.”
I didn’t respond to that. It was a blunt question, but if we had any hope of moving on, I needed to know he wouldn’t revert to snide comments every time I saw him. His show of friendship was either genuine or it was just that—a show.
He adjusted his glasses before crossing his arms over his chest. Wow, he really couldn’t figure out what to do with his hands tonight. “Here’s the thing. We all know I lost my way for a while. What went down with Jackson was a wakeup call, but having my best friend punch me in the face was an even bigger one. I’m done lashing out. I’m done blaming others for my mistakes. I’m done being an ass just because it comes naturally.”
At that comment, I couldn’t hold back a smile, and neither could Ethan, apparently. “Who you choose to date is none of my business, and I plan to keep any additional thoughts on the matter to myself.”
That was fair. He didn’t need to approve. As long as he didn’t cause any more scenes or give Chase a hard time, I was happy.
“Okay.”
He chuckled. “That’s it? You’re not going to prolong my misery?”
“If you insist, I could probably find a way.”
Chase’s arm finally dropped from my waist. “Why don’t we go check out the dessert table instead?”
“You two go,” Ethan said. “Jules and I need to head out, anyway.”
Chase gave him a hug with a hearty pat on the back. “We should get together while you’re in town.”
Ethan quickly agreed before turning to me with a surprisingly soft smile. “Haley, Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
After Ethan walked away, Chase pulled me against him and spoke into my hair. “You okay?”
I tipped my head up to look at him. “I’m wonderful. And you must be happy. You’re getting your best friend back.”
“I don’t think of him as my best friend anymore.”
“Oh? Has Theo replaced him?”
He shook his head. “I wasn’t talking about fudging Theo.”
My mouth opened in exaggerated shock. “Watch your mouth! We’re in your grandmother’s house!”
He pushed my hair over my shoulder before resting his hand there, his thumb brushing my neck. My pulse shot up, and I wondered if he could feel it. “I have a new best friend. You might have heard of her—Miss Jones . . . in the dining room . . . with the sexy stiletto boots.”
I burst out laughing. Only Chase would deliver a cheesy line inspired by a classic board game. “She does sound familiar. Now, are you going to tell me about your crush on Aunt Julie?”
7
Persuasion
Haley
“You’re quieter than usual tonight.” Jackson watched me from his favorite chair, Penny at his feet.
I closed my book, an actua
l hardback I’d borrowed from his bookshelf. Now that I’d discovered the convenience of owning an e-reader I could easily carry everywhere and take to bed with me, I reserved hardbacks for designated reading time. I couldn’t imagine ever fully giving them up—I loved the feel and smell of books too much for that.
“Not to be a stuffy librarian about it, but isn’t that point of our ‘reading night’? We both sit here and read in silence?”
Jackson saved his place with a bookmark, then carefully set his book on the coffee table and joined me on the couch. He sat so close, I might have accused him of crowding me if I didn’t like it so much. And if he didn’t smell so good.
He tugged me into his good shoulder, even though he no longer wore a sling, and I immediately relaxed. Apparently, I was tense and hadn’t even realized it. How did he know me so well? It didn’t make sense, especially since I’d spent so much less time with him than my roommates.
“You were quiet on the drive home from physical therapy and through dinner as well. Want to tell me about it?”
I did. And I didn’t. We want you to choose all of us. Permanently. I’d replayed Knox’s words so many times, they would be forever etched into my brain. But what did they really mean? Could I take them at face value? Did I dare ask Jackson for the answers?
Relieved he was so close to my side he couldn’t look into my eyes, I puffed out, “Okay.”
Jackson took one of my hands and laced his fingers through mine, but he didn’t say anything, patiently waiting for me to go on. I drew in a deep breath, then released it. I can do this. Wasn’t I just telling myself I wanted to be more open with my boyfriends?
“Knox told me something when we were in Dallas, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with it. I know he wouldn’t lie to me, but I keep thinking he couldn’t have really meant what he said.”
“What did he say?” His breath ruffled my hair as he spoke, and I was tempted to drop the subject and convince him to make out with me instead. That sounded a lot more fun than discussing a topic that was both incredibly awkward and important.
“He said . . .” Why was this so difficult to say aloud? “He said that the five of you don’t want me to choose.” That was the cowardly explanation, so I forced myself to keep going. “As in, you never want me to choose.”
“Did he?”
The words were so casually spoken, I couldn’t resist peeking up at Jackson’s face. He appeared completely at ease and not at all surprised. At least I hadn’t imagined the entire conversation with Knox.
“Yes.”
“Does that scare you? The idea of being with all of us.”
My heart rate increased at the mere suggestion, and I instinctively pulled away from him, craving space. I needed to be able to think clearly, which was impossible while in his arms.
“Yes. No.” I grabbed a pillow and hugged it protectively against my chest. “I don’t know.”
His lips quirked but didn’t tip into a smile. “What about that scares you?”
My face twisted into an are you kidding me expression. It would be simpler to answer what didn’t scare me. “Failure, for one.”
“Explain.”
“How can I . . .” I paused, searching for words to convey this almost crippling fear building inside. “Be enough? Each of you is the perfect guy, and you deserve to find your equally perfect match. How can I be that for all of you? And if I can’t, where will that leave me when it ends? I will lose almost everyone who means anything to me.” My stomach lurched. “How can I?”
He appeared to ponder the question, but the entire time his eyes roamed over my face. It was unnerving. “I agree that it would take someone exceptional to earn and keep the hearts of five men. Can you accept that you’re exceptional?”
“Why am I exceptional? I get that I’ve never been normal, but that doesn’t mean I’m anything special.”
“Then trust us to know what we want. We wouldn’t be in this position if we weren’t certain.”
I shook my head. How could he be so serene about this? “Even if I could accept it, what about everyone else? Your uncle? Our co-workers? My dad?”
“Yes, some people will talk, but do you honestly care what they think?”
Maybe not people in general, like those girls at the open mic night. He hadn’t answered the more important questions, though. “Does Patrick know?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“He’s totally supportive. I believe he saw this coming, because he wasn’t even surprised when I discussed it with him.”
That was a relief. Still . . . “You sincerely don’t care about anyone else? You wouldn’t be bothered if we walked by a table of Zenith employees and they slut-coughed at me?”
His brows pinched in obvious confusion. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You know, when someone coughs the word slut into their hand.”
His confusion turned to anger. “Has someone done that to you? Tell me who.”
“Well, no, but I’ve seen it on TV.”
“Haley, life is not a bad teen movie. People will talk behind our backs, sure, but very few would be brave enough to face us. And no one is saying we have to advertise the relationship.”
I shook my head. As tempting as it was, we wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret forever. I wouldn’t want to. “People will find out eventually. We have to discuss this as if everyone in our lives knows. My dad. Chase’s gran. All of Zenith. Your Stanford friends. Everyone.”
“When was the last time you heard me talk about a friend outside of Team Jaguar?”
“Never, but that doesn’t mean much. It’s not like we live together. I don’t know how you spend all your evenings.”
“Do you want to?”
“What?”
“Live together?”
I stared into his indigo eyes, trying to decipher his motives. Was he attempting to distract me with a change of subject, or was he serious?
“Are you moving into the loft too? We’re out of bedrooms, but the basement couch is pretty comfortable.”
“I’m open to sharing a bed with you. You won’t even know I’m there.” He winked, and I threw my pillow at him.
“As if that’s possible.” I sank farther into the couch and draped my legs over his lap. Jackson’s attempt to lighten the mood had worked, the stress of discussing my relationship conundrum fading somewhat. Until a new thought crossed my mind.
“What if one of you meets someone else?” I’d been so wrapped up in the other issues, I completely missed this one. Now that it was on my radar, I wondered why it hadn’t been my number one concern. It was so obvious, I felt stupid. And scared.
“You don’t have to worry about that.”
Suddenly, and inexplicably, furious, I lashed out. “Why not? It’s possible. Probable, even. You saw what happened at the open mic night—girls are constantly throwing themselves at the five of you. Beautiful girls. Girls you wouldn’t have to share. Who wouldn’t create problems with your family and friends.”
“If we were so interested in those types of girls, why did we start this thing with you in the first place? Why date you at all?”
“The competition of it all. You figured one of you was bound to win me.”
Jackson’s face turned dark, like he was outraged by the mere suggestion. “False.”
He was right to be annoyed; my comment was totally uncalled for. I never once suspected this all came about because of some stupid competition.
“Haley, we agreed to share you before Theo and Knox went after you in Portland. We knew we needed a plan, and after much discussion and deliberation, that was the only one we could all accept.”
I let that sink in for a minute, my mind whirling with the implications. They’d had this secret plan all along and didn’t bother telling me? What the hell?
“You never expected me to choose?”
If he was bothered by my pissed-off tone, he didn’t show it. “No. In fact, we h
oped you wouldn’t.”
Retrieving the pillow I’d thrown at him, I screamed into it like I used to do after a fight with my dad. Amazingly, I felt better afterward, my anger dissipating into confusion. “Why didn’t Theo tell me that from the beginning instead of making me believe I was agreeing to temporarily dating all of you?”
“We didn’t think you’d be ready to hear it. And we wanted to make sure you had feelings for all of us before even suggesting the idea.”
“Knox must have been convinced of that in Dallas, then.”
He found bare skin at my ankle and caressed it. “My guess is that seeing how upset you were over my accident was the tipping point. He was probably confident of your feelings for everyone except me before then.” His thumb pressed into the bottom of my foot, and I was surprised by how good it felt. “I’m shocked he didn’t tell me about your conversation, though.”
Considering it had come only minutes after our first time sleeping together, I wasn’t. Knowing Knox, he would never chance revealing what happened between us in that hotel room. Not because I was dating his best friends; because that’s who he was. Protective above all else.
When I didn’t respond, Jackson spoke again. “You want to know what I think about the six of us?”
“Yes.” I understood then that not only did I want to know what Jackson thought, I needed to. Ultimately, he was the team leader, and the rest of us would automatically take our cues from him. It was strange to realize I was including myself in that, but it was true. He wasn’t merely my boyfriend—he was someone I looked up to and sought approval from.
“It won’t be easy. We’ll face adversity from the outside world as well as struggle making it work between and among us. The team is on board, but that doesn’t matter unless you’re one hundred percent in this with us. Our biggest trial will be having to share your time; you have to juggle the pressures of being with five men, four of whom are inherently difficult to deal with on a daily basis.” He looked at me, as if daring me to ask who he’d excluded. Chase was the obvious answer, but he could have been referring to himself.
