by Lynette Mae
They had reached the lake and were alone among the pine trees about twenty feet from the shoreline. Devon stepped close to Jillian, placing her hands gently on her waist. She felt trembling beneath her fingers and realized that Jillian was crying. Devon's stomach lurched at the sight of her normally confident dashing lover suddenly looking crushed and lost. Her own heart felt like it was breaking. Her eyes darted over every inch of her face, she implored, "Honey, tell me, what is it?"
They sat at the edge of the tree line side by side, Jillian's auburn head leaning on Devon's shoulder. Jillian couldn't remember the last time she cried, much less let herself be comforted by anyone. But, here with this special woman, she felt sheltered and safe. The defensive wall she built from the rest of the world crumbled in the presence of the trust that had grown between them. Devon sat quietly holding her, stroking her hair, knowing that she would talk when she was ready.
After a long while, Jillian sat upright, squaring her shoulders. Devon moved so that she was facing Jillian, reaching up softly to brush tears from her cheeks. They held each other's hands in their laps as she gathered her thoughts.
"When I was 16 or 17 years old," she began quietly, "I realized that I was different from other kids, but I really didn't know why. I was a tomboy…guess you'd say my whole life. Being a lesbian never occurred to me, 'cause we didn't know any gay people, at least not that I knew."
Devon's face held the hint of a rueful smile, remembering how she couldn't understand why her mother always seemed so angry with her. She nodded in understanding. It wasn't until she saw her first B rated lesbian flick that she even recognized that was what she was feeling.
"Anyway," Jillian continued, "When I went to college, you know, in the big city of Lexington and all, I…broadened my horizons…and had my first sexual experiences. So, throughout college, I brought friends…women…home sometimes-but we were never disrespectful or anything-and I guess I thought that everybody must know, because nobody said anything to me. By the time I graduated, I fooled myself into believing that my folks knew I was gay but just tried to ignore it, kind of like just don't talk about it, ya know?" her eyes bled with pain. She searched Devon's face, desperate for understanding.
Jillian looked away to the water and drew a ragged breath before continuing. "I came home from college and one day my brother asked me if I was gay. I didn't lie because I had always been taught not to, and I thought my brother would be okay with it." Fresh tears filled her brown eyes, blurring her vision.
"That night, my parents came to my room and confronted me." She shook her head, smiling regretfully through the tears. "I thought it would be disrespectful to lie to them so I told the truth…and…" her voice was a jagged whisper, "They told me to get out of their house. My father said he would rather I had told him I was a hooker." A choked sob escaped her throat as she stared at their hands.
Devon felt Jillian's pain acutely because she knew exactly how it felt to have your parent look you in the eye and reject you. Anger raged through her at the thought of anyone hurting Jillian, especially the very people who were supposed to love unconditionally. She felt the urge to pound something. Hard. Instead she corralled her rampant thoughts to focus entirely on comforting Jillian. Devon would give anything to shield Jillian from pain.
She held on tightly while Jillian's body shook as the sobs ripped from her throat. Eventually, Jillian's breathing calmed and the tremors in her body subsided. She drew a deep breath and leaned back to look at Devon, "Sorry. I didn't mean to do that."
When Jillian looked into her eyes, the raw suffering mixed with an innocent plea for help captured Devon's heart. Gently, she cupped Jillian's face between her hands. She brushed a soft kiss on her lips and searched Jillian's dark eyes, finding her own emotion answered there.
"I'm falling in love with you Jillian Gray." She said with quiet certainty.
Jillian inwardly flinched at Devon's terrifying pronouncement. Love? Her mind froze on the word. Love was just a ticket to heartache. She reminded herself how love made you open yourself up to all kinds of pain. It made you careless, and no way could either one of them afford carelessness in their professions now. CID was all over the base, hunting those foolish enough to believe that love could survive the relentless scrutiny.
Still, those lovely blue eyes made her want to believe in any possibility, and Jillian responded physically to the closeness of her body, very aware of the desire between them. Devon kissed her more urgently, erasing Jillian's fear with strong arms holding her in a protective embrace. Jillian surrendered to their passion, allowing herself to be swept away on the tide of this beautiful woman's love.
Chapter 8
Devon was lying on the bed with a shadowy female figure leaning over her naked form. Hands were stroking every inch of her body, sending pulsating rhythms straight to her clitoris. As the woman moved lower, a shaft of light illuminated her face for a split second. Devon recognized the stunning beauty was Jillian, and she moaned, raising her hips in anticipation of her caress.
Jillian smiled up at her, opening her mouth to speak, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, "Wha-the?"
The incessant beeping of the alarm clock yanked Devon awake from her delicious dream. Blinking hard to clear her vision, she gently rolled away from Jillian to silence the din, frowning at the red numbers glaring 0600. Rolling back, she curled her arm around the sleeping woman, stroking her breast absently, and thinking. I can't believe the weekend went by so fast. Leigh and the kids really took to you, sweetheart. Could my life get any better? Smiling to herself she wrapped both arms tightly around Jillian.
"Mmm, good morning," Jillian mumbled, pulling the green army issue blanket up over her shoulder.
Kissing her temple, Devon replied, "Morning, hon."
"Guess its back to the grind, today, huh?" Jillian pouted.
"Guess so."
"I think I'm going to be late getting out tonight. The major said he wanted to see me."
"Everything okay?" Devon felt an odd sensation creep up her spine.
"Sure, I guess." Jillian shrugged and smiled, "You worry too much, it's probably just to let me know where my next duty station will be, remember I graduate in two weeks."
"You're probably right." Devon had tried hard not to think about Jillian finishing school so soon, and she just hoped that her permanent assignment wasn't on the other side of the world from the one she would draw in a few months. Still, the uneasiness remained with Devon all day.
Weaving her way through the cafeteria line just past twelve, Devon searched for a table with an empty seat. A familiar brunette waved from across the room, seated at a small two top by the window. "Hey, Jules," she said as she took the open seat, "Haven't seen you for a while, how are ya?"
"Good." Julie forced a smile, but her eyes were serious as she looked across the table at the younger blonde lieutenant. "I hear you went home for Thanksgiving."
"Yeah, we had a great time," Devon grinned at the thought of their wonderful weekend.
Julie exhaled loudly, shaking her head, "So it's true."
"What?"
"That the two of you went away together." Her tone was clipped, and her eyes became guarded.
Devon regarded the other woman with surprise, her response was slowly methodical. "Yes, Julie. Jillian and I went together, is that so surprising?" Devon had no idea where this conversation was heading, but she had a gut feeling that she wasn't going to like it much. Julie's green eyes were cold as she met Devon's stare.
"Do you have a problem with me asking Jill home with me? 'Cause if you do, you're gonna have to just get over it, Jules. Christ, how long has it been? Just let it go."
"Oh, yeah, you would love it to be that. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not jealous."
"Okay, good, then what?"
"You really don't know, do you?" Anger was simmering in the green stare now, and Devon f
elt her defenses automatically engaging, but for what?
"You really think that the two of you can play house every day in the middle of a military base, take trips together, and…who knows what else, and nobody will notice?" Julie spoke quietly, but her tone was cold.
"I really don't know-"
"Oh, cut the shit, Devon!" Julie snapped, "You know the stakes around here, but you seem to be forgetting, it's not just about you, it's about all of us." She waved her hand dismissively in the air, "As if you care."
"Jules, I don't know why you are so angry. Jill and I are very careful." She met Julie's stare, searching for some explanation for this sudden anger from her friend. Finally, the angry emerald glare softened a bit. Drawing a deep breath, Julie looked at the table then back to Devon's eyes.
"You are so infuriatingly naïve," she shook her head, "They don't need to actually see anything. Just the amount of time you two spend together is enough." Her eyes bored into Devon's. "Jillian knows better than to be so careless. She and I are already on their radar."
Frustrated, Devon leaned forward, "What are you talking about, Jules?" Impatience and fear combined in her tone.
"CID. They pulled a few of the girls in the last couple of days, asking lots of questions, intimidating the hell out of people. It's working, too. People are already paranoid. I said that I would talk to you because of my relationship with Jill." She hesitated a beat, fixing Devon with a hard stare, "Some of the others didn't even want to be seen with you."
Devon's head was pounding and her stomach soured. "So what exactly are you saying, Julie?"
Julie stared directly at Devon, a serious, slightly dangerous expression on her face. Her jaw clenched and Devon could see the knot in the corner working as she contemplated her response.
"It's a witch hunt. They are looking to root out gays and lesbians, and they don't care how they get their information. Like I said, people have already been questioned," Sadness replaced the anger in her eyes when she looked at Devon again. "I heard Jillian's name came up, and since the two of you are together…"
Devon stared wide eyed at the brunette as the words hit her like a blow to the stomach. Her mind raced trying to understand what this all meant. Then she remembered what Jillian said that morning. I'll be late. The major wants to see me.
Julie stood to leave, remaining serious, "Let me give you some advice. Put some distance between the two of you. Everybody is at risk and everybody has to look out for themselves right now. People are going to be doing anything they can to save their own asses, even if it means sacrificing someone else."
She stopped, considering her words, "You think you know her, but you don't. Not like I do. Gray's a survivor, she takes care of herself. Always has, always will. You need to look out for yourself, James. Nobody else is going to." With that, she walked away, leaving Devon feeling confused and frightened by the gravity of Julie's message.
Chapter 9
"Lieutenant Gray, please come in," the major instructed.
Danger enveloped her as Jillian stepped into the company commander's office. Two additional men were in the room, seated on the couch just to the right of the large oak desk. The insignia on their uniforms identified them as being attached to the military policing company. Their expressions were fixed like granite.
The tension in the room was oppressive and Jillian concentrated on steadying her breathing to remain calm. She came to attention two feet in front of the desk, snapping her right arm in a salute to the dark haired man standing on the other side. He returned the salute and motioned for her to sit.
"Have a seat and relax, lieutenant."
Jillian sat ramrod straight in one of the two wooden chairs in front of the desk. Relax? Her anxiety was off the chart; her heart was pounding so hard she thought he must be able to see it. Her eyes darted from the major to the two MP's seated across the room.
The major moved around to the other chair and sat next to her. Clearing his throat, he addressed her formally, "Lieutenant, these men are investigators assigned to CID." Jillian's stomach rolled and she felt bile rising to the back of her throat. "They want to ask you a few questions."
"Yes sir," she managed.
Jillian had no idea what to do. She had heard of people being spirited away for 'interviews', never to return to their regular duties. Panic was beginning to grip her insides, making it difficult to breathe. She forced those thoughts from her mind, trying to convince herself momentarily that this meeting could be about anything. CID being here didn't necessarily mean she was under investigation. Of course, it didn't ease her discomfort that they might want her to snitch on someone else.
The taller of the two investigators, a Chief Warrant Officer who stood about 5'10" and appeared very fit, with cold grey eyes and dark hair mixed with grey, stood and moved over to the desk in front of Jillian. Resting his hip on the corner, he assessed her for a few moments before speaking. "Lieutenant, my name is Chief Martin," he gestured to the other man, "And this is Chief Honeycutt." Jillian nodded but remained silent her eyes watching Martin intently. His body language was relaxed and his voice even friendly, but his eyes were cold steel looking at her.
Martin continued, "As you may know, CID conducts various types of investigations, some internal, some criminal, some conduct related violations-some a combination of the three." He stopped momentarily, watching the lieutenant for signs of unease, but saw only a deep brown fixed stare. "At any rate, we have already spoken to…several…uh…acquaintances of yours," his smile didn't reach his eyes, "It seems that your name keeps coming up."
The twenty four year old from a small Bible belt dot on the map and no real world experience, except college nights out on the town, struggled to keep her fears in check. She had a damn good idea where he was going with this conversation. She had heard tale of their tactics from others who came before. Once the hunt began, they used gossip, innuendo, whatever tricks they had to get people to turn on each other, to turn each other in. Jillian also knew that the penalties for homosexual conduct ranged from reduction in rank and a less than honorable discharge to criminal charges and court-martial.
Forcing herself to continue to meet the cold, mocking stare of the investigator, she said as evenly as possible, "Maybe you could start by telling me exactly what we are talking about."
The second investigator, a short, balding man wearing gold wire rimmed glasses spoke from the couch. "We are talking about conduct unbecoming an officer, lieutenant. We have reason to believe that you have information on activities that are prohibited-"
The major interrupted, "Chief, should the lieutenant have any kind of legal counsel present?"
The major didn't much like these strong armed tactics. He personally didn't believe that it was the government's business if a person were gay or not. Professionally, he wasn't about to risk his career by getting in CID's way. After all, they had too many ways of coming after just about anyone.
Looking evenly at the major, Martin replied, "No, sir not at this time. We are looking into some talk going around, nothing substantial." He flashed a silencing look at Honeycutt, and then looked at Jillian, "Of course, we don't mean you lieutenant. We just thought that you might be helpful in getting to the bottom of a few things; just a conversation. You're alright with that, aren't you?"
Jillian had no idea what to do. If she said no, then they would call her evasive, say she was trying to hide something. Then again, if she agreed to talk without any legal counsel, she might say the wrong things and make the situation worse for herself or somebody else. Who have they already talked to?
Her mind raced trying to imagine all of the possibilities. Had they been following her? She thought going to Boston was safe. Maybe it wasn't. What about Devon? Oh, my God, have they been in our room while we're gone? She decided that she had to talk to them or she would have no idea what was happening, and the unkn
own was definitely worse.
"What would you like to know, Chief?" Jillian fixed him with a steady gaze, but still the investigator heard the nervousness in her voice.
"Does the name Julia Marks mean anything to you?" Martin was an experienced interrogator. He didn't ask questions that he didn't already know the answer to. He already had information that Marks and Gray had been involved in ROTC. The investigation there had gone cold when they apparently ended their relationship. After graduation they were, of course reassigned separately completely severing the tie. But then, this assignment brought the two women back together in a sense. He watched as the mention of Mark's name caused a flash of fear in the otherwise defiant brown eyes.
Raising an eyebrow, he pressed, "Well, lieutenant? Do you know Lieutenant Marks?"
"Yes."
"And, what is the nature of your relationship with her?"
