by Fiona Zedde
She rode down the pier, past trendier shops, Starbucks instead of Mickey D’s. Surf shops and the smell of salt water. As she rumbled past a cigar shop, a familiar flash of legs caught her eye. Rémi looked past the legs to the beloved face. The mouth turned down with boredom and eyes listlessly watching passing traffic. Rémi pulled up to the curb in front of a parked car and felt the familiar falling sensation in her belly when she looked into Claudia’s face. She pulled off her helmet and raked fingers through her hair.
She felt Claudia’s eyes on her as she dismounted from the bike. Her muscles stretched under the dark jeans and dress shirt and leather jacket, self-consciously. For the hundredth time in her life she wondered what the other woman saw when she looked at her. A child with a pathetic crush? Or a woman whose desires couldn’t be ignored? Rémi’s eyes skittered to the ground before she found something in her to look at Claudia again.
The decision she’d made to stop trying to become Claudia’s lover abruptly unmade itself.
It was an eternity under the unreadable eyes as she pocketed the keys and her booted legs took her across the pavement to sit on the bench beside Claudia.
“You look like a gift.”
“That’s always been my life’s ambition,” she said.
Rémi flushed and dropped her eyes again. “I meant—”
Claudia lightly touched her arm, smiling. “I know what you meant. Just teasing.”
Rémi should have known that. She pursed her lips and adjusted the helmet on her lap.
“Your hair is growing out,” Claudia said in the silence. “I like it.”
She touched a curl looped around the edge of Rémi’s ear, stroked it, and Rémi held her breath, savoring the echoes of the unintentional caress through her body. Claudia drew her hand away and Rémi almost groaned from its loss.
She looked at Claudia again. The woman was definitely on a date. Pale yellow halter dress. Dark gold bag with matching heels that punctuated legs bobbing to a private rhythm. The only thing missing was the guy.
“He went in to see about a reservation,” she said, reading Rémi’s look. Claudia gestured behind her to the second-floor seafood restaurant with its wide glass windows, gold velvet rope, and view of the bay. “They were booked when he called, but Kincaid is intent on using his powers of persuasion.”
Rémi doubted more than his power of persuasion—his sense maybe—for leaving his date sitting on a bench waiting for something that probably wouldn’t materialize. The Blue Egg was a fantastic restaurant, well-known in most circles, but one of the things that made the place so beloved among its clientele was its egalitarian treatment of everyone. You were well taken care of at Blue’s whether you were a movie star or just liked to watch them in your spare time. No one’s reservation got bumped in favor of somebody flashing a wad of cash or a high-society profile.
“Don’t get that look. I told him that I wanted to wait out here. It’s a beautiful night.”
Rémi sighed. It was a beautiful night. That perfect mix of early fall heat and cooling ocean breeze. The evening’s darkness was held at bay by scattered street lamps and light from the storefronts. This hidden part of Miami that was more like a New Orleans or Savannah bay front had long been a favorite of Rémi’s. Everything seemed suspended in time here. Years ago, she imagined bringing Claudia here and showing her some of the things she loved.
“Do you want to go somewhere with me?”
The words seemed to startle them both and Rémi felt her face grow warm. But she didn’t take them back. They seemed suddenly important. And very, very urgent. Rémi flicked her gaze behind her to the doors of the restaurant that opened to a steady stream of customers.
Claudia raised an eyebrow. “You do realize I’m here with someone else, right?” A smile hovered at her lips.
“I don’t see anyone but you and me out here on this bench.” Her hand rested on the back of the bench, only a few centimeters from the naked curve of Claudia’s shoulder. “Besides, it’ll take him a while to get a table in there. You can come back later. Just call and tell him.”
Was she really trying to do this? Yes, she was. The strange mix of lethargy and restlessness she’d felt before was gone. Now all she wanted was to share this dark, moist night with Claudia, to pull her into the world that she knew and let her feel what it was like for just a few moments. To seduce her with it.
“It won’t take long.”
After Claudia made the call to her date, Rémi cruised away from the restaurant with the small hands clasped around her belly and possibilities roaring in her head. Claudia fit on the bike like she was meant to be there. Belly and breasts flat against Rémi’s back. The long thighs hugging hers from behind.
Her favorite stretch of beach was deserted. The surfers and sunbathers had long gone home to their dinners and beds, leaving the beach glowing pale under the half-moon. Rémi turned off the engine and rolled the bike across the hard-packed sand. The beach stretched on for miles with only the occasional shadowy presence letting her know that they weren’t completely alone.
“I haven’t been out here in a long time,” Claudia said as Rémi helped her to dismount.
“Warrick used to bring you out here?”
“He wasn’t the only man I dated, you know.” Claudia slipped off her shoes.
“He wasn’t?” Rémi grinned and stepped back from the temptation of Claudia’s skin. She pulled the folded blanket from the saddlebag and held out her hand for Claudia to take it.
“He was my first lover, but others before him tried.”
“Lucky man. He must have done something right.”
“Right at the time.”
Rémi tugged Claudia across the sand, not far from the bike, to sit down on the blanket.
“So is this new guy the right one?”
Claudia adjusted her dress under demurely folded legs. “I doubt it. Something to do. There’s probably nothing left for me out there anymore.”
“So you’re going to take whatever is out there just to occupy your time?”
“Yes. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
With her jacket folded under her head for a pillow, Rémi looked past Claudia’s calm face to the star-scattered sky above. “No. I’m going after what I know will make me happy.”
Claudia’s face looked startled. “Really?”
“Yes.” Rémi looked at her.
“Rémi. I...” She paused as if considering her words carefully. “We don’t fit together. I’m not able to give you what you want.”
“Why are you so sure?”
“For heaven’s sake, Rémi, I’m old enough to be your mother.”
“And I’m old enough to be your lover. What’s your point?” She sat up, bringing herself even closer to Claudia. The other woman didn’t move back. She sat, dress rustling in the ocean-scented breeze, lips held in a soft line. Her breasts moved gently with each breath. “Do you want me?”
The breaths stopped.
“If you don’t want me, I’ll stop this. I swear I will.” Rémi held herself back from touching Claudia, but just barely. The heat of her was so close. She was so close. This scented, beloved creature that turned Rémi’s thoughts to salt blowing away on a breeze.
“You’re too young to be focused on me like this.”
“That’s not what I asked you.” And she threw her willpower aside. Inhaled the warmth of the one she wanted to be her lover, drifted her open palms up Claudia’s arms, slowly closed her hands around the delicate skin. “Do you want me?” The question was more breath than sound.
The heat from Claudia’s mouth tickled her throat. “I think only a stone wouldn’t want what you have to offer,” she said.
Rémi’s pulse drummed in her ears. “And you’re not a stone, are you?”
“No.” Her eyes dropped to Rémi’s lips. “I’m not.”
Rémi didn’t know who moved closer first, only that the lips under hers were even softer than she’d imagined. Her heart slammed against h
er chest. Everything inside her was drowning, senses blocked to everything but the feel of Claudia’s skin, the mouth opening like a new world against hers. The breasts pressed to her chest.
“Let go of my hands.”
The command shook her out of her stupor, and Rémi pulled her hands away quickly and drew back. But Claudia followed, mouth still open and wet against hers, body rising up to straddle Rémi until she was at a taller height and her palms pressed against Rémi’s face, tongue sweeping into her mouth. Her hands dove down the back of Rémi’s jacket and shirt, fingers splayed as far as they could go, over the scar on her shoulder blade, fighting to go lower. My god. My god. My god. The trembling started in her boots, worked its way up her body until all of her shook against Claudia. Tiny tremor after tremor. But that didn’t stop her body from knowing what to do. Her hands fell to Claudia’s thighs spread over hers. She grasped Claudia’s back, her hips, pulled her closer, pressed against the yielding flesh.
“You don’t kiss me like that anymore.”
The alien words penetrated Rémi’s heated haze, yet she paid them little attention. A couple walked by them, too closely, with the woman who’d spoken watching them. Claudia pulled back, trying to drag her succulent lips away. Rémi held on, sucking on the soft flesh, nipping, trying to coax her back. Claudia pushed at her shoulders. And Rémi drew back, finally, breathing heavily through parted lips.
“I have to go, I think.” Claudia’s eyelids drooped heavily over passion-black eyes. She licked her lips.
“Yeah.” She forced her breath to a steadier pace. “Your date is waiting.”
“Shit!” Claudia pulled abruptly away from Rémi, fumbling on the blanket for her purse. The phone’s electronic blue light pierced their intimate darkness as she opened it. “Damn. He called me three times.”
“Come on. Let me take you back.” Rémi folded up the blanket while she called Kincaid, only half listening to Claudia’s lukewarm apologies to the man. Claudia wanted her. Claudia wanted her. A fierce smile hijacked Rémi’s mouth. With the blanket folded under one arm she turned to the woman who would soon be hers.
“You ready?”
Chapter 13
“Some lady is here to see you.”
Yvette’s voice pulled Rémi from a dream of strawberries. The fruit was succulent, wet and red, and her teeth were just about to sink into the plump skin. She rolled over in the bed, groaning.
“What?” Rémi brushed away the fog of sleep, blinking in the shrouded darkness of her bedroom.
“I told the concierge to let her up. She’s coming.”
“What the fuck... ?”
“She sounds like she knows you.” Yvette’s head disappeared from the doorway.
“They all think they know me,” Rémi mumbled, sitting up in the bed. She scraped a weary hand over her face and glanced at the clock. Now she was awake enough to be irritated.
“Tell whoever it is to go away,” she croaked. Dire celui qui qu’il est de partir. “I’m not up. And I’m not in the mood.”
Rémi sagged back against the wrought iron headboard, muttering. “It’s too fucking early for this.”
“I keep forgetting that you work late at the club these days.” Claudia stood in the doorway. “Sorry.”
A bolt of awareness shot through Rémi. And instantly, she was awake.
“The other night was nothing,” Claudia said. “My date with Kincaid didn’t go anywhere.”
Her crisp white pantsuit gleamed in the darkness of Rémi’s bedroom. The jacket with its single button clasped her small waist and revealed a V of something dark underneath. A camisole?
“That’s good to know.” So they weren’t pretending anymore. “I wish you had left him and come home with me.”
The open door allowed in a slice of the golden day, but that was all. Rémi suspected that while she could see Claudia, the older woman couldn’t see her at all. She slid out of the bed on the side opposite Claudia.
“Oh!”
She heard the low gasp but only spared the surprised face a brief look before taking her robe from the hook just inside the closet and pulling it on. When she turned around, Claudia’s back was to her.
“I didn’t realize you were naked,” she said.
“I’m not anymore,” Rémi said. “Come in.”
She brushed past Claudia, deliberately, and closed the bedroom door. A scent of fresh apples lingered around the older woman and Rémi fought the urge to reach for Claudia and sink her face into her throat, run her fingers through that pale hair. Instead, she returned to the bed, her back once again against the scrolled headboard.
“Please sit,” she said.
There weren’t many options in the large room, but Rémi liked to think that Claudia knew what she was doing when she sat on the bed, only a few feet from her. The crisp scent of apples touched her face again.
“I hadn’t heard from you,” Claudia said, eyes finding Rémi’s. “Is something wrong?”
“No. I was just waiting for you to finish with your friend, Kincaid.” The scrolled headboard felt solid and cool at her back. Rémi took a deep breath to deepen its comforting contact.
“Ah.” Claudia said. She exhaled her understanding in that single breath. “Your sister seems like a sweet girl.”
“Is she? I don’t know her very well.”
“I see some of you in her.”
“Your eyesight must be especially good because I don’t see any of that. She ran away from home and came here. I don’t even know what to do with her.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. She’s family and she’s here to be with you. That’s a great place to start.”
“Yeah . . .” she tapered off into silence.
Claudia’s eyes rested on her face. “She didn’t have anything to do with your parents’ decisions from all those years ago. I hope you’re not trying to blame her for the past.”
“I’m not that far gone yet. What I am worried about . . . it’s not her precisely.” She sucked on the inside of her cheek. “I want you, but I don’t want to lose what we had before. You and your family mean a lot to me. I don’t want to throw that away because of what I want from you now.” Rémi’s breath shuddered in her chest. She felt like a fumbling teenager. None of this was turning out the way she had imagined. And now with Yvette here . . .
“We can’t go back to the way that things were.”
The words put a fist in Rémi’s throat.
“I’ll always remember with fondness the times you spent in my house as a teenager and later as a young woman. But if I’m to be honest with myself, I can tell you that I’ve enjoyed our . . . interactions these past few weeks.” Claudia smiled. “I can see why the ladies find it nearly impossible to resist you.” Rémi opened her mouth, but Claudia raised a hand, laughing. “Don’t deny what I’ve said. I’ve heard the stories and seen the effect you have on women. It’s all right.” Her face grew serious again. “We can stop now before things get any more complicated. But like I said. We can never go back.”
“Do you want to stop?” Rémi asked. She swallowed and kept her hands perfectly still on her thighs.
“I don’t know.” Claudia shifted on the bed. “I’m not very comfortable with this. But I’ve been entirely too comfortable for a lot of my life. I was comfortable with Warrick, and he left me for someone else. I thought I was comfortable being a mother and a teacher, but then this cancer came and made me realize that’s not everything. After it left my body, I felt that the reason I had been spared was to live a more daring life than the one I had before. I don’t regret anything I’ve done so far. Not my children, not my marriage to Warrick, not my job at the university. But now I’m realizing that I want more. So while I’m not comfortable—this may be the least comfortable I’ve ever been, actually—I want more. And I feel selfish for wanting that because I know what being welcomed and loved by my family has meant to you.”
Breath left Rémi’s mouth in an explosion of sound. The breath she didn�
��t even know she had been holding. Claudia understood. She understood. But . . .
“I know I’m risking a lot with this,” Rémi said. “I’ve been toying with the idea of pursuing you for years now. For long enough that us being together seemed inevitable.”
“No pressure or anything,” Claudia murmured with a wry smile.
“None at all.” Rémi sat up in the bed, moved until Claudia was close enough to touch. “This I’m serious about. If there’s ever any point where you want me stop, just say it. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”
“And big girls don’t cry?” It was Claudia’s turn to slide closer.
“So the song goes.”
She palmed the linen-covered calf. The white material, her dark hand, Claudia’s warmth beneath them both. The knee bent beneath her fingers and she used that anchor to pull the older woman even closer. Her thigh. The plump heat of her bottom. Their breaths mingled.
“I won’t hurt you,” Rémi murmured, pushing her breath against the lips barely an inch from hers.
“Don’t lie to me.” Claudia hooked her hand at the back of Rémi’s head and tugged her in.
Their lips met. Perfectly. An electrical current. Understanding. Then mouths opened. Rémi wanted it so badly, she trembled. Fingers digging into the linen-covered backside. Heart galloping in her chest. Their tongues tangled. Sigh drank sigh. The realization of all those years of longing unwrapped inside Rémi. Was this a dream? Her hands clutched at Claudia’s skin. She wanted to open her mouth and devour her, to drink from her mouth until she was wet from head to foot. Until Claudia weakened enough to fall into the sheets and allow Rémi to feast on her skin, nibble on her flesh, enjoy every single morsel of her. She bit Claudia’s lip.
Something buzzed at her ear but she ignored it, turning her head away to listen for important sounds. Like Claudia’s soft moans. But Claudia was pushing her away.
“Your sister,” she whispered against Rémi’s mouth.
Rémi opened her eyes. At the door, Yvette stood blinking owlishly at them. “Mama is on the phone,” she said.
