No, her heart was far away, thinking about things she hadn’t really considered in years.
C hapter Eighteen
The workweek passed in a haze with constant distractions, and Harley struggled to keep her head above water. She decided she was too busy to see Annie on Wednesday, and she purposely turned off her phone when she went to bed at night so she couldn’t take any late night telephone conversations.
Kelsey contacted her at the station a couple times during the week, and while she spoke with her young friend, she wavered between sincerely hoping she was a match so she could help her and secretly wishing she wasn’t. Although she wanted to be altruistic and offer Kelsey whatever help she could, she was internally terrified.
As she walked up her own front porch steps on Friday evening, fumbling with her keys in the darkness, Harley glanced down the street at the homes of her neighbors. Twinkling Christmas lights shone through their windows, and some had lights adorning their garages and rooflines. Her own home was dark and imposing at the end of the cul-de-sac, absolutely devoid of any sort of Christmas cheer.
Normally upon entering her home, Harley went straight up the stairs and locked herself inside her bedroom. For some reason, though, she felt compelled to walk through the unused portions of her house. Leaving the front door ajar, she took a couple steps across the hardwood floor of the foyer and pushed open the door to the kitchen. A stark space met her, devoid of appliances but instead boasting empty holes in the cabinetry, which had some doors hanging precariously askew. The area was clean, but hardly livable.
Stepping to her left, she pushed open another door into the living room, flipping on the light switch to her right. The large window in the front was where she would put a Christmas tree, if she had one, but the curtains were tightly drawn to keep the world out. If they weren’t drawn, any passerby might realize that her living room had a vacant fireplace along the wall, no furniture for lounging, and staples sticking out of the floor as reminders that a carpet once rested in that space.
“Hello?” she heard echoing behind her, and her body instantly froze with the unwelcome sound. Turning, she stomped across the kitchen, the sound of her clicking heels reverberating through the empty room.
“Harley? The door was open.”
She crossed the threshold of the kitchen as quickly as possible and threw the door closed behind her, wide-eyed with surprise.
“How do you know where I live? And why are you here exactly?”
She hadn’t intended her words to come out so harshly, but she wasn’t surprised when Ryan’s eyebrows rose in surprise.
“Take it easy,” he responded. “I’m not a serial killer, alright? You wouldn’t answer my phone calls, and I was starting to worry, so I did a little of my own research. I would have knocked like a normal person if the door had been closed. While we’re at it, the fact that you blindly left your door open makes me a little nervous for your sanity.”
“I live on Wonder Lane,” she said, folding her arms across her chest. “Nothing happens here. This is the most boring street on the planet.”
Well, relatively speaking.
“You live in the biggest house on Wonder Lane,” he corrected, “so it’s probably the biggest target.”
“It’s just a house.”
“Sure, Scarlett O’Hara. Just a house. Does it have a name?”
“A name?”
“You know, like Tara?”
“Sure, I like to call it home.”
Ryan closed the door behind him to shut out the cool night and shifted his hands to his pockets. The waft of air from the force of the door came towards her, and a cologne-scented breeze drifted across her face. She shivered slightly, but realized it wasn’t from the chill. The fact that he had sought her out in her home, and had taken the time to put on cologne, sent her emotions in overdrive.
“I’m not working tonight,” he announced, as though he wanted to confound her conflicted feelings. “I wanted to ask you if you would go out with me, like an official date. I need to figure out what this is for my own sanity.”
“You want to ask me out for your sanity,” she repeated dubiously.
An easy smile spread across his face, and she allowed her gaze to sweep over him. Black jeans, boots, inky blue button-down shirt open at the collar…
“Do I meet with your approval?” he asked cautiously.
Drawing her hand up to her neck, she felt her face growing warm as he watched her reaction. “Always,” she answered simply.
“I don’t want to ask you out for my sanity,” he finally added. “I want to ask you out because I can’t get you out of my head.”
“That’s a pretty good reason.” Glancing down at her skirt and heels, she smiled ever so slightly. “Do you mind if I change first?”
“Nope. I’ll just have a look around.”
“No.” The word came out so quickly, she instantly felt a prick of guilt at its abruptness. “I mean, just wait right here, and I’ll be ready in a minute, okay?”
He moved toward her, and she froze in place, worried that he was going to touch her and unsure whether she wanted him to do so. When he was close enough to be just inches from her, he brushed past and placed a hand on the kitchen door.
“You left the light on,” he stated simply, shoving the door open. As he did so, he paused, holding the door as though in a trance.
Harley’s breath halted in her chest as he took a step into the room, glancing around. When he moved farther into the kitchen and didn’t bother to speak, she squeezed her eyes closed and mentally cringed. The click of a light switch alerted her to the fact that he had traveled through the kitchen and made it to the living room, and she shook her head in disbelief. The urge to follow him and attempt to explain herself grew stronger, but what would she say?
Ryan, it’s all about appearances.
I intend to fix it…someday.
Isn’t the outside gorgeous?
He began to move in her direction, and she waited for his questions like a statue. Instead of stopping before her, though, he flipped the lights off in the kitchen and continued walking, making his way to the front door. Her heart constricted as she realized he might be disappearing into the night, and she squeezed her hands into fists at her side.
Turning abruptly, he swung open the door at the bottom of the stairs, glancing into the corridor. The sound of his boots hitting the wood on the steps assaulted her senses, and within seconds she was on his trail, flying up the steps behind him, trying not to trip in her heels.
His eyes swept across the clothes she had on racks in the first bedroom she utilized as a closet, and then he took a couple more steps to her modest bedroom. She stood motionless in the hallway, biting her lip and feeling the heaviness of his silence as he remained in the entry to her bedroom.
Say something, she willed herself, but couldn’t manage to squeeze anything out of her throat. Finally, he turned and focused on her and her alone, not taking his eyes from her face.
“You are such a hypocrite,” he whispered.
“No.” She shook her head, fighting the urge to crumble.
“A fraud, then.”
“Ryan—”
“Your floor...” he began, glancing down. “You don’t have a kitchen. Where is your furniture?” When Harley hesitated, he widened his eyes. “Harley, there are holes in the wall. I can see exposed wires. Is the rest of your house like this? No wonder you never eat!”
“I do okay,” she tried to convince him.
Undaunted, he marched into her spare bedroom, looking over her clothes. “But you have the important things, right? You’ve practically got your own designer storefront in here.”
“You have to dress for the life you want,” she told him, aware of the worried expression crossing her features.
“What do you want?” he asked, clearly frustrated. “Do you even know what you want?”
No. Do you?
“I want to change and meet you downstairs.”
<
br /> Nodding slowly, he strolled past her and trudged down the steps, stepping out the door and closing it behind him. She leaned back against the wall, letting out a reluctant sigh. For a second she wondered if she should even change, because he would probably be long gone before she reached the bottom of the steps. In case he did stick around, though, as crazy as it sounded…
She stood amidst her clothes, pondering her choices. She could opt to dress down and go the jeans and T-shirt route like she usually did on Friday nights, but this might be her only chance at a date with Ryan, especially after what he had just seen. He had obviously taken time to try to look good, and he smelled incredible.
Yeah, he definitely smells incredible.
Shoving aside a couple hangers, Harley located a dress she hadn’t worn in a long time. It was one of the first she bought when she arrived in Louisville, and it never felt appropriate for the newsroom. Crossing over to the bathroom, she stepped out of her skirt and slid the dress up over her hips, pausing to unbutton her white blouse. As she drew the three-quarter length sleeves of the dress over her arms, she glanced at herself in the mirror. Simple, elegant black fabric hugged her frame and skimmed her legs, draping against her neck. Twisting her body, she fought to zip the back of the dress, finally finding success.
After smoothing her hair around her shoulders, she crossed back to her spare bedroom and located a pair of simple black four-inch heels.
Completely ready, she remained in the hallway as she took a deep breath.
He’s probably not even here, she thought. Instead of dwelling on the thought, though, she made her way down the steps. When she emerged into the foyer, she found him leaning against the wall, staring towards the kitchen. His eyes darted toward her as he stood erect and took a step toward her.
“You’re still here.” Sounding stunned probably wasn’t the best strategy, she realized, but she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.
He swallowed hard before he answered. “I should probably be angry with you or something, but I’m having a hard time sorting it out.”
“Why is that?”
“Because my heart is overriding my head.”
He moved even closer, and she reached for her coat, but he drew it out of her hand, holding it in front of him. Turning her back, she allowed him to drape it over her shoulders. Spinning, she found herself within inches of his face, and she lifted her eyes to his. They were nearly the same height due to her heels, and she didn’t dare remove her eyes as he stared at her. Unable to resist the urge to touch him, she lifted the tips of her fingers to his cheek and pushed a strand of hair behind his ear.
"How did this happen?” he wanted to know. “You shouldn’t be walking down those stairs in a dress like that for me.”
She wanted to say a million things, but they all felt too inappropriately intimate, so she simply allowed a smile to spread across her face.
“Where are you taking me?”
He shook his head quickly, as though clearing his mind. “Hadn’t thought. I was just planning on taking you on your Friday Tiny’s run, but—”
“Sounds perfect.”
The smile he gave her was enough to melt her heart, and she reached for her purse and held it in her hand. He pulled a set of car keys out of his pocket, presumably for his mom’s car, and Harley responded by handing him her own.
“Sweet…you’re going to let me drive?”
“It would appear so, handsome.”
He held out his arm, opened the door, and ushered her into the evening air. As he reached the BMW, he opened the passenger door and took her hand as she slid into her seat. Once she was closed safely inside, he crossed to the driver’s side and slowly lowered himself onto the seat, placing his hands on the wheel and getting a feel for the car.
Harley couldn’t resist teasing him. “Does it meet your approval?”
“Not bad. What happened to your seat?”
Harley’s mind flashed to the duct tape, and after what he had seen inside her house, she thought it best to be brutally honest.
“Drug deal gone bad. For the person who owned the car before, not me. I got it for a steal.” Since Ryan had no visible reaction to her statement, she decided to continue. “Just like my house. The people who owned it were trying to unload it because of all the improvements they needed to make. Obviously I didn’t have enough capital to make them myself.”
Ryan brought the car’s engine to life and began to back out onto Wonder Lane, and Harley twisted her mouth to the side.
“I get all my clothes at The Revolving Closet—that’s my friend Annie’s resale shop. But you’re right, the public Harley, that’s not who I really am, although I would be hesitant to call myself a fraud or a hypocrite.”
“This is a pretty smooth ride.” He glanced over, giving her a wink, and she realized suddenly how comfortable it felt to have him so near.
“You should have asked me out a long time ago,” she breathed, letting the words hang in the air between them.
“You’re kidding me, right? How many times did I try to get your number?”
“I’m sorry about that,” she insisted. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Figuring out where I live. Driving to my house. Smelling phenomenal.”
He didn’t say a word, but his fingers grazed her left thigh, moving their way across her hand slowly enough to give her goose bumps.
She wasn’t sure what she had expected out of her evening only moments before, but it hadn’t included sitting in her car holding hands with the man she couldn’t manage to remove from her thoughts.
“Good evening, Duke,” Ryan stated as he neared Tiny’s and rambled up to the bench, his arm circling Harley’s waist.
“What’s this?” Duke had a definite twinkle in his eye.
“This is a long overdue date,” Harley told him, enjoying the sensation she felt as Ryan hugged her closer.
“I can’t imagine a better couple,” Duke informed them. “You’d best get her inside so you don’t freeze. And share your chocolate with Ryan tonight, Harley—I’m okay.”
“Thanks,” she whispered as she allowed Ryan to pull her towards the front of the building. Ushering her inside, he located a table to one side that seemed mostly secluded and moved in that direction, pulling out her chair and pausing to help her shrug out of her coat.
“Oh, mercy.” Tiny rambled over to their table and paused, his large frame looming over them as they both tried not to smile. “Don’t tell me this is a date? ‘Cause Miss Harley already went and made me a promise about any date that brought her here.”
“Nobody made any promises,” Harley assured him.
“Tiny, I have to thank you, because if I hadn’t been working in the kitchen I might have never met this beautiful woman, who consequently is on a date with me right now. That’s important to note, since she made a promise…?”
“…that if any date brought her here, she’d marry them on the spot.”
Harley’s eyes widened as she stared at Tiny, unable to believe he’d just divulged that tidbit of information. Ryan chuckled quietly and cleared his throat.
“Well, I’m not quite sure I’m at that point yet, but good to keep in my back pocket for another time.” Ryan winked at Harley for good measure, and then turned back to Tiny. “What’s your specialty tonight?”
“I’ve got a mean chicken fettuccine alfredo if you have a hankering for that. Or there’s always the standby favorites.”
“That sounds good,” Harley told him.
“Yeah, me too.” Ryan paused to smile at his companion. “Thanks, Tiny.”
Staring across the table at Harley, Ryan suddenly picked his chair up, moving it around the side so he was directly next to her. Settling himself back in the seat, he reached for her hand. A sweeping sensation rushed across her abdomen as he lifted her fingers and gently pressed his lips against her skin.
“So, the public Harley is not who you really are?” His eyes rested on
hers, searching. “I want to know you…the real you.”
Staring at Ryan, she imagined the wall she had built crumbling before her, and although it was intimidating, the fact that he was sitting on the other side made it seem almost possible.
Letting out a huge sigh, she reached into her purse and retrieved her wallet, pausing a second to close her eyes. “Okay, just so we’re clear, this is between you and me, right? You’re not going to go off telling Kelsey or your mom?”
“You think I discuss my love life with either one of them? Not that they don’t try, mind you.”
Still firmly latched onto Ryan with her right hand, she used her left to flip through her wallet and pull out her driver’s license, hanging her head a bit sheepishly. With trepidation, she held it out to Ryan with a shaking hand. His fingers slid around it, and as he held it for inspection, her heart pounded in her chest.
“Wow.”
“Wow? That’s all you have to say? Wow?”
“Sorry, I’m having trouble coming up with an appropriate reaction.” Raising his eyebrows, Ryan continued to stare at her license. “It’s just…when you told me at the hospital that your dad named you after his motorcycle, I kind of had a presupposed notion of what that meant. It wasn’t this.”
“Whatever you thought, it has to be worse.”
“This is definitely worse. If you changed your name, why don’t you have your new name on your license?”
“Because I never changed my name. My name is Harley Elaine, so I just shorten it to Harley Laine.”
“Wow.”
“Again with the wow.”
“Sorry, what do you want me to say?” Staring at the license, he shook his head. “Harley Davidson. No wonder you hate motorcycles. I think I hate them for you, honestly.”
“You don’t need to worry about being polite about it. Trust me, if a joke can be made, I’ve heard it.”
Crowned (Girls of Wonder Lane Book 2) Page 19
