by J Rose
“No!” She continues to yell in tears.
“Lyric! Please open this door!” Her mother cries desperately.
I know I can’t go in there. Not with her like that, not yet. When I hear something break however I freeze. In the back, I can hear her mother pounding on the door harder screaming and pleading for Lyric to open the door. “I have to end it,” I hear her say, and without thinking or caring if I’m seen by her I go back inside. Her back is towards me as she holds a shard of glass in her hands and raises it to her wrist.
“No. Stop,” I want to say, but I know she won’t listen to me.
Walking behind her I simply place my hand on her neck pinching at a small pressure point and she immediately goes limp in my arms. Silently I thank my father who had Spencer and I learn defense techniques from the Nova officers. The door to Lyric’s room bursts open at that point. Her mother is standing behind me in tears while holding a key in one hand and her house phone in the other. Relief is clear in her eyes when she realizes Lyric is okay.
“I called an ambulance. They’ll be here in a few minutes,” She manages to say. She looks at Lyric unsure of what to do as she reaches for her. Her shaky hands stop a few centimeters away from Lyrics face. There's an unreadable expression in her eyes while she sobs helplessly.
“I’ll wait downstairs for them,” The anguish in her eyes is indescribable as she steps out of the room. I can hear her walking toward the stairs before she stops midway and continues to cry.
I look down at Lyric and I can feel myself drowning. It’s hard to breathe now and I realize the full extent of just how broken she truly is. How stupid I have been for believing she would be okay. Thinking about her mate, the person that would have her. I thought about how lonely she felt, how much care she would need.
“Sometimes we need to think about what’s best for the person we care about. Not what’s best for us, or what we want,” I could hear my father’s words ring in my head as I looked down at her.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, as I laid her on the bed. If there was any way I could help her, I would have. But I realized then and there the only way I could be was to let her go. Maybe my guilt was making me feel responsible but because of that guilt, I knew I also had to let her go.
“I’m sorry” I whispered before placing a soft kiss on her lips.
Behind me, I could hear the ambulance sirens blare out as I jumped out the window and ran out. Shifting into my Nova form I headed to Devils Creek. Standing there on my four paws I howled out my pain and hers hoping to relieve some of it though the void only got bigger.
CHAPTER 6:
DESTINY
(Lyric)
How long has it been?... Five years?... I haven’t felt more insecure than at that moment. Sitting in the waiting room of the Nova labs awaiting my fate.
*Tick-tock, Tick-tock*
The sound of the clock against the silent white waiting room sounded like a pounding gavel, sentencing me to an unknown fate. I never thought I’d ever feel like this again. That drop at the pit of my stomach, my racing heart, that feeling of loneliness deep inside that seemed to be a gaping hole of nothingness.
As much as I tried to relax to take a deep breath I couldn’t seem to breathe. The stale air of the room reminded me of my stays at the hospital five years ago. The memories of that monster I once called my father flooding my head. Clutching my hands together tightly, I could feel my nails digging into my own hand. I needed to think of something else but at the moment all I could think about was him. My soulmate. That one person that was supposed to make everything better, make my life complete. I couldn’t understand why I was the only one that felt nervous. The surrounding girls all seemed breathtakingly beautiful. Almost like they were picked out of a magazine while I seemed like an ugly duckling out of water. Their expressions were full of excitement, hope. Whereas mine could only be described as terror. The woman at the front desk seemed to be the only one with a neutral expression. Her dark hair in a tight bun and her green eyes unfazed by anyone’s expression including my own.
“Lyric Mason.”
Hearing my own name, I felt myself look up. It was almost an out-of-body experience. Standing up I felt my feet move on their own toward the door where a beautiful blonde haired woman was waiting for me. She offered me a kind smile sensing my nerves and allowed me to walk in.
“It’s normal to feel a little nervous but you shouldn’t worry. He’ll love you no matter what” She said to me her voice soft almost motherly. She doesn’t introduce herself but I know her name simply because her name tag reads Dr. Keller
No matter what?... There was that phrase again. Was that really true? Could someone ever love me so unconditionally? Truly love me for who I was? Could they face my past? My insecurities? How low I had fallen so many years ago?... A weak fragile person I had been and part of me still is.
“This way please Ms. Mason,” Dr. Keller calls out. She then leads me into a small white room that contains the same stale hospital smell as every other room in the DNA Lab does. There’s a single checkup bed at the far end of the room and a small medical cart to the side. The room reminds me once more of that horrid hospital. Dr. Keller doesn’t speak a word to me, instead, she puts on gloves and draws out a needle from a packet she digs out from the medical cart.
“It’s just a small prick you won’t even feel it,” She says before cleaning the middle of my arm with a small wipe. She offers me a smile as she sticks the needle into my vein to draw the blood. It feels like a soft pinch; though the sensation still causes me to jump. My blood begins to run down the small little hose attached to the needle and slowly begins to fill a small tube. When the tube has filled, she simply smiles and takes the needle out of my arm and presses a small cotton ball to my arm to stop the little bleeding there is.
“That’s it you can go now,” She says, after handing me a small Band-Aid.
That was it? How long would I have to wait? Somehow she seemed to read my expression just fine because she laughed lightly and spoke.
“You’ll get your results back in a week. Now because of Nova laws wherever it is your mate is located in you’ll have to go," That’s what I’m afraid of. What if I have to go back there? I can’t go back to Archer.
#
I don’t realize how but I manage to make my way to work. Deciding what to do with your life when you had no real goals was one of the hardest things to do. I didn’t know what to do with a life I had thought was robbed from me. What did I want to do with myself? What did I like? How can you know all this when you were kept in the dark so long unable to be yourself?
“Lyric!” Running towards me and snapping me out of my own thoughts I saw Jane.
Jane was like an overgrown child. A complete contrast to Crystal. She was a free spirit, bubbly and also a type of girl I wanted to be. She exuded confidence and was not afraid to be herself around others. Her eyes were an olive green color, her hair cut into a V-shaped bob that was long at the front and shortened in the back. Her long shaped face always holding a kind smile.
“How was it? Did you find out who your soul mate is?” She teased before plopping herself next to me on the bench.
“No. They say I have to wait and I’ll be sent to where ever it is he is,” I managed to say.
“I don’t understand why we have to change our lives for them? We’re our own person.” She said.
I’d met many people in the past five years but Jane was by far the only one that really seemed to understand the way I felt about Soulmates.
“Have you gotten your results?” I asked her wanting to change the subject of myself. For a second she grew quiet and bit her lip. Whenever anyone asked about her soulmate, she’d grow quiet herself. Sometimes I was afraid he’d died, and she was masking all this pain.
“No,” She said, her voice sad before she cleared her throat and offered me a smile.
“Come on we should go bring the kids back to class. They’ve been driving Mrs. Grant cra
zy. They only seem to behave when you’re around,” Jane said, smiling at me.
Children. I’d always loved them. I’d always been good with them it somehow made sense that I would become a teacher’s assistant. It was something that truly did make me happy. One of the few things in my life that seemed to make sense at the moment. Somehow I knew that all of that would be stripped away by one single person. Would my gain be more than my loss?...
#
“I’ll see you tomorrow Lyric!” Jane shouted, before driving off. Shaking my head at her usual antics I walked into my house. I could hear absolute silence and I realized my mother wasn’t home yet. Thinking back to how utterly stupid I had been back then I couldn’t help but feel guilty. Guilty of how weak I had been. Grabbing my bag, I headed outside to the small patio. It was a small little garden that I had planted a few years back. Filled with roses, tulips, sunflowers.
This small little garden gave me a sense of peace that I had lacked so many years ago. Thinking back to my day I realized I needed to breathe again. I needed to feel like I was worth something. Pulling out my most prized possession out of a small diary that had been my confidant for so long I pulled out a small single white rose. I’d kept this flower for almost five years, it was dry yet still remained beautiful to my eyes. Besides the beautiful rose was a single handwritten letter that always caused me to smile.
“My one and only Saving Grace.”
#
There was no room for discussion. I had to leave. My mother had cried her eyes out begging me never to attempt to take my life again. All I could ever think about was doing it once more.
“King Thomas thinks it’s better if we leave here. You’re not getting any better. You’re only getting worse,” She tells me with tears in her eyes. There really was no will to fight not anymore. Going away? I really didn’t think that could ever be an option.
“When?” I heard myself ask only for my mother to break down hugging me tightly as she did so.
“Tonight. Lyric sweetie, you can’t stay here anymore. You’re all I have and you have to promise me never to do this again. I can’t lose you,” she said. Her words seemed to hit home for me. I’d been so focused on what I wanted and how I could be set free that I’d completely forgotten what would be best for my mother. Nodding my head in response, my mother hugged me tighter in her arms. I don’t remember much after that simply because I’d been sedated at the hospital.
When I woke up once more it was only to see Crystal standing in front of me. Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked at me.
“So you’re leaving, huh?” She asked calmly forcing a smile. I didn’t have the guts or the strength to reply to her. Lowering my head, I tried to look anywhere else but her.
“God Lyric! Say something! Why can’t you ever say what you really feel! I’m your best friend you’re supposed to talk to me! Why can’t you just?” Before she could finish she had broken down crying as I lay in my bed unable to move or show any type of concern for her. I was a horrible emotionless person, and I knew that.
“I know you have to go,” She whispered looking at me as she wiped away the tears streaming down her face.
“That doesn’t mean I won’t miss you. I know it’s what’s best for you,” She said approaching me and extending her hand out to take mine.
“But promise we’ll stay in touch. I want to know how you’re doing okay,” She said gently, her blue eyes sad reminding me of a calm ocean after a hazy storm.
“Crystal.” Hearing the door of the room clink open we both turned to see Spencer who simply offered me a sad smile something I had gotten accustomed to.
“The car’s waiting outside now. We have to go,” He said to her calmly. Nodding Crystal turned to me and offered me a sad smile.
“Bye,” She said giving me one last hug before taking Spencer’s hand and walking out of the room.
“Bye,” I whispered after they were long gone.
It was like a giant hole was compressing into my chest and before I knew it I was crying. I couldn’t reason with myself to calm or to even know the why of my tears. There was a sense of guilt, embarrassment, and release all bubbled into one and I could not stop. Maybe I cried for hours, maybe, minutes or even seconds. All I know is that I felt peace in the end. Still, there seemed to be something holding me back. Unable to leave this horrid place that was called my “Home.”
I could hear voices nearing my room so I simply tried to hide my tears not wanting to be sedated once more as a nurse walked in. She offered me a smile before she set a white rose in front of me that I had not noticed she was holding.
“This is for you,” she said. Confused and unsure as to what it was I couldn’t really seem to reach my hand out.
“There’s a letter for you too,” she said.
Somehow she seemed to understand I was not in my right mindset because she simply placed the envelope and flower on my lap offering me a smile before leaving. I don’t know how long I stared at the contents that had been laid out in my lap. All I knew was that somehow my heart seemed to race with each minute that passed until finally, I found myself reaching for the letter.
Dear Lyric,
There’s so much that I want to say to you…… so much that I can’t say. The only thing I can ever say is how sorry I am. You don’t know how much regret I feel for not stopping harm from coming to you. For watching on the sidelines as people hurt you. For causing your pain as well. Maybe if I hadn’t been such a coward, I could have apologized to you in person. Maybe if I had known how to act things would have been different. I’d like to think that one day I can walk up to you and tell you how sorry I really am. The feeling of regret is something I’ve come to feel because of the deep pain you are in. So many if’s run through my head that I keep going back to the moment I first saw you. That first day at school a year ago.
You walked in looking so fragile, scared, I had no idea why but I found myself staring at you. I wish so much that you could have shared your burdens with someone…. Maybe with me. Maybe there are people who’ve brought you down or made you feel worthless. The truth is they’re wrong. When I look at you I don’t see someone who’s nothing. I see someone who can be anything they want. You’re special, different. Someone who I know will one day make a difference. The way you’ve impacted my life has truly changed who I am. I hope that one day you can smile at me so I can feel a sense of peace knowing your soul was not broken.
There’s not much I can say to make you feel better at this moment, because I know in order to be at peace this place has to be hidden far in your past. Forget everything, your father, the bad memories, that bastard Parker Archer. Find peace in your heart so when that moment that you finally meet him, the man that will forever love you. You can love him back.
Sincerely,
Someone who cares.
It took a few minutes for my mind to process what I had read. Who had done this? Why had they taken the time to write something so heartfelt and beautiful to me? I hadn’t realized I was crying again until I saw tear stains on the letter in my hands. Reaching for the rose I smiled for the first time in a long time. Closing my eyes and with a deep breath I took in the beautiful soft floral scent. In that moment I felt a sense of peace and I knew I could let go.
#
Clutching the letter tightly in my hands I smiled. No matter how hard things got in my life that one anonymous note from that person always made me smile. It brought a sense of calm, a sense of peace. A sense of being home and feeling cared for. I couldn’t understand why but it felt right. Sighing I reached for the dried white flower. No longer was it white but a yellow color and the stem had hardened and though the flower was now far more fragile than it had originally been. The rose was still perfect to me, even if it had withered.
“Reading that letter again Lyric?”
Startled I looked up only to meet green eyes.
“Andrew. You scared me,” I managed to say, only for him to run a hand through his sandy blon
de hair and offer me his usual 500-watt smile. The dimples in his cheeks showed profoundly on his face.
“Sorry,” He said, walking over to the bench to sit next to me.
“How was it?” He asked casually.
“It was okay I guess,” I say shrugging, only for him to grab my chin gently.
“Honestly?” He said concerned. He’d always been that way since the moment we met. He seemed to push and always tried to get me out of my shell. However, there were still so many things I did not want to share with him.
“I’m fine, really. Just nervous to get my results,” I admitted. There was something in his eyes the moment I said those words to him. Hope.
“Maybe,” He said the word lingering in between us that I knew exactly what he meant.
“Maybe it’ll be me.”
I didn’t want to get his hopes up knowing just how rare that single chance was. Like a needle in a haystack. Knowing the person we’re meant for is almost unheard of. As much as I cared for Andrew now as much as I liked being around him. Somehow, in my heart, I knew it wasn’t him. That strong connection that weakens your senses, makes your knees grow weak and your heart race. I’d never experienced anything like that, and I’d hoped deep inside that my love would feel a thousand times stronger. I was no skeptic, a romantic, or even naïve. Reality had been far too harsh with me to see a world painted in pink. Still, a girl can dream of many what-ifs, if the reality we face is as harsh as the darkness we see.
“Lyric,” Andrew called out snapping me out of my own thoughts as I forced a smile on my face.
“I actually came to give you this,” He said, taking out a champagne colored invitation.
