by J Rose
Running toward me Crystal grabbed my arm pulling me toward the door.
“She’s here,” Crystal said, smiling with excitement.
Looking out the window I could see the car pulling up. It was almost ironic the way my heart began to beat. I’d been so stupid and blind to not see back then why my heart reacted to her.
*Bump, Ba-Bump, Bump, Ba-Bump, Bump, Ba-Bump*
Crystal didn’t wait much in fact as soon as Neil opened the car door for Lyric to get out Crystal ran out of the castle doors and toward Lyric.
“Lyric!” Crystal yelled with excitement as she embraced Lyric in a tight hug.
I could see the distress in Lyric’s eyes as she looked around in a panic until finally, those chocolate brown eyes met my gaze. It was like breathing fresh air and being punched at the same time. She was so beautiful. Her hair was let down like it had been so many years ago, visibly it had grown longer. Though her hair was no longer covering her face but cascading down her shoulders. She was wearing a simple white summer dress and a light sweater that covered her shoulders. There was nothing more that I wanted than to embrace her. The fear in Lyrics eyes kept me paralyzed and stilled my wishful thinking. I knew she was afraid to be here in front of me. No matter what I said or did it was not going to take away what she felt at the moment. With a single glance at her I knew, she didn't wish to be here, much less to be around me.
Even as I looked at her I knew that what my gaze reflected could not be seen by her eyes. Not when I was sure her mind was only focused on the past. and I could not blame her.
“I’m so glad you’re here! You are going to be my maid of honor okay.” Crystal said, her voice filled with excitement. Lyric's gaze never left mine, not until Crystal pulls away from their hug and smiles at her. Lyric doesn't smile back. If anything she tenses when Crystal pulls her past me and towards the castle doors. Behind them Neil follows with Lyrics luggage. She doesn’t say anything to me as she walks past me nor do I speak to her. I don't want to frighten her more that she already is.
“It’ll be fine. Relax” Spencer says before walking over to Lyric and Crystal nodding at Lyric who only offers him a soft smile back.
Once inside it’s like a whirlwind and I can only watch in the back uncomfortably. Lyric is introduced to everyone in the castle, family, friends, and a few people of the kingdom. I can see an overwhelmed feeling settle in her eyes though she offers people smiles.
“Relax man,” Brad says, walking over to me and handing me a glass of champagne.
“No thanks,” I tell him, trying to hand the alcohol back to him. The last thing I want to do in front of her is drink. My mind flashes back to five years ago and all the bottles of alcohol I had seen at her house on that day.
The last thing I wanted to do was make things more uncomfortable for Lyric. For now, I’d keep my distance. But I knew that before tonight was over not only would we be alone, but we would also be sharing a bed.
“We’re doing a toast man. Everyone’s drinking,” He pointed out, motioning his head to Lyric who looked uncomfortable taking a glass of champagne that was being offered to her by my father.
“I’d like to thank everyone for being here,” My father spoke up, causing the room to silence.
“This will be a new Era for Archer. In honor of that, I’d like to make a toast to new beginnings for both my sons,” My father speaks, while everyone else raises their glasses up.
“Cheers!” My father says proudly.
“Cheers!” The room of people chants back happily.
Looking back at Lyric she offers awkward smiles to anyone that looks in her direction as she grips the glass of champagne in her hands tightly. I could see Crystal chatting away at her though she seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. Occasionally, someone would come up to her and make conversation but she only ever answered politely. The night went on like this both of us on opposite sides of the room being offered congratulations. Talking to people, making small talk while smiling awkwardly never once approaching the other.
#
Finally, once everyone has left, and the room has cleared leaving only Crystal, Spencer, and my father with us. I realized in that moment there was no such thing as avoidance anymore.
“You two might want to catch up now. With everything that’s gone on today, there’s hardly been a chance for you two to talk,” My father said.
“Goodnight. We’ll see you tomorrow,” Crystal speaks up, hugging Lyric before taking Spencer’s hand and walking away as did my father, finally leaving us alone.
The silence between us was thick. Neither of us seemed to be able to say anything. While I found myself looking at her, all she could do was look down at her hands. The glass of champagne tightly being held in her hands with such force that I feared she’d break it and hurt herself.
“You can put it down,” I heard myself say, my voice sounded strange to my own ears before I reached for her champagne glass which she let go of slowly. As our hands brushed together a shock ran through my entire body and a small gasp escaped her lips that caused me to look at her. There was confusion in her eyes and something I could not decipher in them that made my heart clench in my chest. Looking away from her I placed the full champagne glass on top of the fireplace where my own flat champagne glass now sat. I didn’t know what to say to her, and I didn’t know how to apologize.
“Lyric I.” Turning to look at me once more her eyes silenced me making me unable to finish what I so desperately wanted to say.
“Our room,” I heard myself say.
“We should go upstairs,” I tell her, but she doesn’t reply to my answer. For a moment, I felt like we were back in that hallways with her ignoring me.
She’s quiet, unable to say anything and I don’t want her too, given our situation. Instead, we both remain silent and she follows me upstairs to my room. Her suitcase set on the bed already and she simply stands to the side silently observing.
“I won’t stay here if you don’t want me to. I understand,” I tell her quietly, hoping that she’ll feel safe around me. Her eyes drift back to me and she shakes her head once more her expression unreadable as she speaks.
“It’s alright,” She says, her voice barely above a whisper and I realize by her tone she’s afraid.
Alhough my heart tightens, I try not to dwell too much on my own feelings and concentrate on her. Her eyes drift across the room, cautiously until they set on the piano by the window and she seems to drift toward it like a moth to a flame. For the first time, I see a genuine soft smile on her lips as her eyes begin to light up in a way I had never seen before.
She timidly reaches for the keys of the piano touching them softly a soft tinker flowing through the silent room.
“Crystal says you like to play,” I hear myself say and she looks at me and offers me a soft smile that makes my already speeding heart race further.
“Thank you,” She says quietly.
“I didn’t do anything it was all Crystal. She knows you better than anyone,” I tell her. Something flickers in Lyric's eyes while she looks at me though I can’t describe what that is.
My palms begin to sweat and I can feel awkwardness continue to creep between us. It was as if a cloud of thick smoke was slowly starting to settle between us. Lyric continued to avoid my gaze, hugging herself closer both shyly and nervously. I didn't need to look into her eyes to know that she feared me. I realized that she must hate me and that I made her feel uncomfortable with my presence.
As much as I would like to stay with her and make her feel welcome I couldn't. Not when I'm not welcome in her world. But now, for whatever reason, life had created this bond for us and we must face it. Tonight, however, she did not need me to be with her. There was too much from our past still lingering between us. Trusting me would take time I didn't know how long that would be. For now, I would let her calm down and give her space.
“You must be tired, you can use the shower. I’ll just use the one down the hall,” I say to
her before she nods and I leave the room closing the door behind me. For what felt like hours I remained outside her bedroom door pondering what will be of both of us. Confirming now more than ever that mistakes can cause you a lifetime of regrets.
“I have to make it better. And I have to live with what I’ve done,” I think to myself.
“Parker.” Hearing Crystals voice makes me turn to look at her. She’s standing at the end of the hallways in a soft sky blue nightgown. There's a gentle smile on her face, while Spencer stands next to her in a pair of red plaid pajamas and a dark shirt.
“Come on we’ll talk downstairs,” Crystal says, before heading downstairs with Spencer. No one says a word until we’re all seated in the living room.
“How is she Parker? Really?” She questions.
“My presence makes her uncomfortable,” I tell them, offering a wry smile that tastes bitter in my mouth and is hard to swallow.
“Parker. It’ll get better,” Crystal comforts, a look of sympathy in her eyes. “You shouldn’t feel bad for me. This is all my fault after all. If I had just,”
“Stop dwelling on what if’s because you have to live with what you have.” Spencer speaks up.
“Look man I get it.”
"No, you don’t,” I wanted to say to him. Maybe Crystal understood what I wished to say because she took hold of Spencer’s hand and silenced him.
“Maybe we don’t but. Things will work out Parker. You and Lyric are bound together for a reason. And it has to be more powerful than hurt don’t you think?” She questioned.
“Think about it,” Spencer says to me, taking Crystals hand and leading her back upstairs leaving me to think about today, tomorrow and yesterday’s time.
“Maybe,” I thought to myself wanting to amend what I had done. But how could I when I couldn’t even get myself to apologize properly? Maybe it was the night that gave me strength but I needed to at least speak of what I felt to her. Just once tonight I wished to speak to her. Selfishly in hopes of lessening some of my own pain.
Opening the room door there is silence. I can see her on the bed sleeping quietly and soundly. Her face is serene and calm almost making me believe that things are okay between us that she somehow feels okay here in Archer. I don’t want to bother her. The last thing I want to do is wake her. Still, I can’t help but make my way toward her. Reaching to touch her face I caress her cheek gently.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“I know I have a lot to make up for. And I’m a coward because I don’t have the courage to say it to you yet. But I promise I’ll make things better,” I say, kissing her forehead. Turning the light to the room off I simply head to the door, closing it behind me and head towards the study. The night is restless as is my mind.
#
(Lyric)
Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? It's mind-numbing. Your heart races and you find yourself unable to move. For a moment it's as if your soul leaves your body. It was like being in a dream where you could not control the outcome of what was to come. In that moment, all you can do is wait. You wait for the finale that would make this a sweet dream or a blood-curdling nightmare, and this was exactly that.
There I was sitting inside a car in front of the house of a man I’d wanted to forget for so long. A man that had seen every single part of my life. Someone that I had been afraid of. Someone who could see past my charades and past my facade.
“Lyric!” I don’t register much from shock but before I knew it I was already being embraced tightly by Crystal. Even when I wanted to be happy and hug her back, my body remained still. There was a knot in my throat and my face felt as if it were being scratched off in desperation by an unknown thing. My emotions felt jumbled and at the same time, my heart began to scream out the way it always did when he was approaching. It was almost like time stood still as my eyes met his. There he stood in front of me his expression unreadable. Parker Archer.
His eyes conveyed nothing as to what he was thinking or what he was feeling. But his gaze seemed to penetrate my own like a knife to my back. I wanted to look away. I wanted to stop my open book eyes from revealing my insecurities in front of him and yet, I couldn’t seem to look away.
For years I’d wondered who would be my soulmate. That one person I could not live without and now that he stood in front of me I wanted nothing more than to run. I desperately wanted to ease away my insecurities and have this all be a nightmare.
Parker hadn’t changed much. There were subtle hints of change from what I do remember of him. His dark hair was now shorter and combed in a side-parted way that still felt wild and rebellious. His features that had once been man boyish were now rougher. There were traces of a five o’clock shadow, his jawline had become squarer. Five years didn’t feel like such a long time. Mainly because his eyes brought me back to the past. This moment was my cruel reality once again. I’d learned long ago how cruel life could be to someone and yet part of me still hoped for a better tomorrow. How naïve of me to think this way. Not only had I fallen flat on my face but the irony of who this man had been in my life was not missed.
“You’ll be my maid of honor okay,” Crystal speaks. Her words finally make me pull my gaze away from him, snapping me out of this wretched spell that this trauma has caused. Though I don’t want to go inside his house, I can’t say anything. Freewill is no longer mine this much I know, simply because he and I will be together now. Do I want this?... No.
“But it’s something you’ll have to live with,” I say to myself.
In that moment part of me wished that I would be with Andrew. That the DNA results came back with comfort, stability, someone I knew. Though I’d known Parker from my years of torment, I knew nothing about this man except one thing. He hated me.
One look at the Parker of five years ago told me so much. He thought of me as nothing but a nuisance. Someone who he could squash like a bug. I was nothing to him nor would I be someone today or ever.
“Why? Why?” My heart seemed to scream. Was I given strength for the past five years only to have it ripped away in a matter of seconds?
“Relax it’ll be okay,” Crystal whispered, squeezing my arm gently as we stood in front of the large living room. A beautiful crystal chandelier dangled from the center of the room sparkling like diamonds. The furniture was modern and beautiful matching the soft custard yellow painted walls. Waiters surrounded the large get together offering appetizers and drinks.
Over a dozen pairs of eyes were looking back at me. They showed smiles, others disdain, while others merely gave one single glance. They were people of society and money and it was like being in high school again. I felt so small, so unprotected almost as if I’d been laid bare for everyone to see and to judge the person I was.
“It’ll be fine I promise,” Crystal spoke. But as I looked back at her, I couldn’t believe her. Her eyes still remained warm throughout the years. However, Parkers’ presence around us no longer seemed to faze her. I couldn't stop the feeling of betrayal which came with that knowledge of Crystal. It was as though she had forgotten the past or had learned to move on from it. It was something that I had been unable to do as of yet.
Just like in the past, if only for a second I wished I was Crystal again. To be carefree, to be lucky enough to fall for my best friend and to have a life like hers that appeared to be magical and perfect. Looking up at Parker from across the room he seemed deep in his own thoughts. I wondered just how he felt to know he’d be trapped with me. How much hate would he feel toward me now? Had he known all along? All those years ago somehow seemed to make sense with him.
“He’ll never accept you,” My mind spoke, and I knew it too.
“He hates me so much,” I thought to myself only realizing I’d spoken out loud when Crystal turned to look at me her eyes expressed sympathy.
“Lyric. You’ll be fine with him trust me. He’s not the same guy he was back then,” She whispered. Still, my mind could not stop the self-doubt. How coul
d she know? How could she even understand what was going through my head in that moment? Nothing she could say or do would ease my panic.
#
How many people had I been introduced to? I had met members of the council, diplomats of the kingdom, family members, the more people walked over to introduce themselves, the more pressure I felt. Not only had I been mated with someone that I knew would never love me. But now I would be faced with duties I did not know how to handle. Queen. How could I be a queen of a kingdom? I knew my personality through and through and I knew I was easy to falter. I’m far too weak, far too naïve, far too fragile to handle a kingdom. I didn’t need to be told that I would have to quit my career as a school teacher. I loved children, and it is why I loved my job. I didn’t want to revert back to this ... insecure being that I once was. Turning to look at Parker our eyes met once more, there was a look in his eyes that I could not recognize. Why was he looking at me that way?
There was something deep in my soul and in his eyes that told me he could see it and he knew very well what I was feeling. My fear, my insecurities, Parker could see it all. Deep down we both knew the truth of this cruel reality, I was not fit to be a queen.
“Lyric.”
“What?” I asked Crystal turning to look at her while she offered a bright smile.
“Champagne,” Spencer spoke, walking to Crystals’ side and placing an arm around her waist. Smiling Crystal moved closer to Spencer and offered him a loving smile. Taking the glass from Spencer's hand and clinking it against his own. The look in their eyes was that of love and so much more it felt too intimate to look at and had me looking away.
"Lyric," King Thomas spoke politely coming towards us and offering me a glass of champagne.
“I don’t drink,” I wanted to say. However, I was unsure if it was polite to refuse the king. Feeling pressure and without a choice I took the glass of champagne from King Thomas.
