by Alan Black
Sno nodded in agreement. She hadn’t even remembered Jim had grabbed her breasts. She certainly did not know the definition of frottage. She made a mental note to look it up when she wasn’t testifying.
James shrugged again, “Do I really have to say, Aunt Terri…I mean, Miss Cleasemount?”
Cleasemount said, “Yes, you have to say, Jimmy. If you were anything more than a witness I would say no. Look, Jimmy. I can’t even pass judgment against you because, and this may be unfortunate in this case, Miss Whyte didn’t file a warrant against you. If she had, then I might be able to sentence you and your brother to get jobs, quit drinking and get on with your lives. However, I can’t do a thing to you other than compel you to say why you attacked Miss Whyte.”
James shrugged and said, “It was kind of a bet. Randy and I were bagging on each other about things we were afraid of, but wanted to do anyway.”
“And you are afraid of Miss Whyte?” Cleasemount asked.
James shook his head. “Not exactly afraid of, Aunt Terri. I kind of like her and wanted to ask her out. Randy was saying if I was too afraid to ask her out then I would never get to touch her ti…I mean her breasts…and…well…you know…we’d been drinking and one thing led to another.”
Sno blurted, “You just wanted to go out with me?”
James looked at his feet and nodded.
Sno said, “Damn.”
Cleasemount nodded and said, “Damn indeed. Okay. And James, since we have embarrassed you, I think that turn about is fair play; what were you teasing Mister Randall Kramer about that day?”
James shook his head. “I’m not gonna say. It didn’t have nothin’ to do with what went on with Sno. I promised Randy I wouldn’t ever say and I ain’t gonna.”
Cleasemount looked at Randall. “What do you think of that, Randy? Your younger brother is standing here taking all of the heat for something you pushed him into doing. Do you think I don’t have the right to ask why you attacked Miss Whyte?”
Randall looked up at his aunt. He put his arm around James. “I am as proud of James as I have ever been. I swore I would never tell anyone he has a thing about Sno, but frankly she does scares the pee-waddling out of both of us. Jim stood here and confessed like a man, but still he is protecting me. The truth is Aunt Terri that I am scared of you. I wanted to tell you I am gay. James knows it. Mom and Dad know it. But, I love you and I guess I am afraid of what you would think of me if you found out.”
Sno said, “Damn.”
Cleasemount nodded “Damn indeed.” She looked at her nephews. “Randy and Jim, I am sorry. None of your testimony was really required. I just let my curiosity get the better of me. As the arbitrator I thank you for your honesty. As your aunt, I love you both. Now get the hell out of here.”
She turned to Sheriff Bob. “Miss Whyte has offered evidence to prove her statement that your warrant is false because of the time of the attack, the place of the alleged attack and evidence it was self defense, do you wish to refute the evidence?”
Sheriff Bob shook his head, “I will accept the boys were out of line, but she used an inappropriate level of force in her response.”
Cleasemount shook her head, “Sheriff Gutierrez that statement is not on your warrant and is not at issue. It is too late to amend your warrant. And what do you mean inappropriate level of response? You are not a woman and you don’t have breasts. I realize that you are a dawg who will hump anything moving and would be as pleased as punch if anyone grabbed your genitals without an invite, but that doesn’t mean everyone enjoys being groped without permission.”
Cleasemount made a few notes in her desk pad, but kept it blanked so it wouldn’t be shown on the screen behind her.
“All right, Miss Whyte and Sheriff Gutierrez, do either of you have anything significant to add relative to this warrant? No? Now I want to review Miss Whyte’s warrant against Sherriff Gutierrez for using his elected position to harass her for personal reasons.”
Sheriff Bob stood, “Question, Miss Cleasemount?” At her nod, he continued, “Will you tell us whether you hold judgment for Miss Whyte or me in the first warrant or will you be holding off on just the punishment phase until all warrants have been heard?”
Cleasemount said, “Keep your britches on, Bob. Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to for a minute. I should know better. You can’t keep your britches on, can you? I will say this to everyone here with warrants to present or defend; I will hold all judgments and penalties until after all related warrants have been heard. I know you are curious. This would drive me crazy to be on your side of the fence and not know what the arbiter was thinking, but I believe this way is the most fair to all involved. I need to hear everything everyone has got to say before I start making final and irreversible decisions.”
Cleasemount looked around the room. The crowd was silent and looked back at her. “Are there any objections or comments? No? I have a couple of quick announcements to help us all get through this together. I have just received an e-mail. Lottie and Damien Gnode have opened the concession stand at the theater next door for anyone who needs refreshments. My apologies to Carl Wyckoff, our official court recorder today, but I must make it available for refreshments to be brought into the hearing room. Just try to keep the mess at a minimum and clean up after yourselves. Also, the next person who goes over there, please bring me back a large diet cola. If you get up and leave, please do so quietly so as not to disturb the proceedings. Lastly, the only people who can save a seat when they leave and come back are those people who are named in any of these warrants. The rest of you are on your own, so no fighting over the chairs.
“I have another message, Lottie has finally patched in the video from four different feeds so you can sit in the theater seats and watch these proceedings in comfort next door. Before you rush out of here for those fancy chairs be advised Lottie has said she has to charge a modest entrance fee since she is cancelling today’s movie in favor of this live drama.”
Cleasemount read more notes on her desk pad and looked out over the room, “No, Mario, I am not doing commercials. I don’t care what you are offering.” The crowd chuckled appreciatively at Mario’s sad face at the news. “We are ready to begin the next warrant.”
She read the warrant out loud. It was longer and contained lists of evidence and proofs to back up Sno’s claim that Sheriff Bob had been out to get her since she beat up his nephews. “This warrant is now official public record with all submitted attendant documents and is now available for public download. Before I ask for a response to Miss Whyte’s warrant, I need to caution Sheriff Gutierrez. I mean, come on, Bob! Everybody in town knows you were after Sno’s hide and most of us thought it was funny. This warrant even lists video evidence of uninvolved citizens who recognized your vendetta against her. It is on the video from Miss Whyte’s bar fight at Mario’s and everyone has seen that. Please be careful how you respond, because I will be very careful in my judgment in this matter. I ask you now, is this warrant true or false.”
Sheriff Bob shook his head, “How can I answer? If my first warrant against her for attacking Randy and Jim is held to be true that adds validity to this warrant, but if you find against me on the first one, then that would impact how I should respond here. But you won’t tell me.”
Cleasemount smiled, “No, Sheriff Gutierrez, I will not tell you how I am going to rule on this or any other warrant until I am ready to do so. But the truth is the truth and a lie is a lie. I require an either/or response to my question. If you Dodge my question again I will hold you in contempt of the proceedings and compel you to respond. The question is, is this warrant true or false?
Chapter 25.0
Cleasemount shouted over the buzz of the crowd. “What do you mean Mister Cooper is dead? When did this happen? Do we have any additional warrants relating to his death?”
Chapter 25.1
Hunter said, “Sure I was drunk that night. Anyone can see that from the tape. I had too many beers and the pizza ha
dn’t come yet. But, I swear we didn’t go to Mario’s by accident. I was there when that guy Wallace told Franklin we should go there.”
Chapter 25.2
Larry Wright said, “Of course, it was a rush job to get the Sedona back out into space. It is always a rush job for the Sedona. Sno always wants to get back into space. That was no surprise. I get paid very well to expedite her jobs so why would I complain?”
Cleasemount asked, “Did you know that Sheriff Gutierrez was trying to serve a warrant on Miss Whyte?”
Wright said, “I say yes and then he can issue a warrant on me for obstructing justice or complicity after the fact. Sorry, Miss Cleasemount, you may think I am nothing more than a space-going sewage-sucking janitor and a gear-head, but I am not stupid. So, I would have to say that I decline to answer that question because it is not relevant as to what I knew and when I knew it.”
Sheriff Bob asked, “Do you know if Miss Whyte knew that I was trying to serve warrants on her?”
Wright laughed, “How am I supposed to know what anyone else knew and when they knew it? The answer is the same as before. You can rephrase that same question a hundred different ways. Come on, Sheriff Gutierrez, that is really a question I am not going to answer for the reasons I have already stated. Besides, everyone knows those warrants are full of more sewage than I suck from a fleet of ship’s plumbing lines in a month of Sundays.”
Cleasemount shook her head. “Mister Wright, not everyone knows those warrants are sewage. I have yet to issue my findings.”
Wright laughed again. “You know they are full of sewage. You just aren’t willing to say so yet.”
Chapter 25.3
Cleasemount grunted and shook her head, “What do you mean no one knows where this Mister Wallace is at the present time? Miss Queene, do you know the location of your assistant?”
Queene stood and shook her head, “No, Miss Cleasemount. I believe he went insane some time ago. He has been doing all sorts of odd things without my instructions or approval. But, I haven’t seen him in quite some time and I have absolutely no knowledge of his whereabouts.”
Cleasemount said, “Mister Abramsohn, do you have something to add?”
Abramsohn stood. “Yes, Miss Cleasemount, he was last seen in the jail compound before these proceedings began, but so far he has eluded our pursuit.”
Chapter 25.4
Abramsohn said, “At the request of our clients my company has downloaded hundreds of hours of video feed from the Queene Mining Ship number 10123 occupied by Cooper, Hunter, Franklin and McNally. That footage is available to anyone who wants it, but the following sections are conversations that clearly show intentions and planning by three of these four men.”
Chapter 25.5
Cleasemount turned to Miss Queene, “Are you really going to tell me that you had a camera malfunction on your docks? That makes a half a dozen strange camera malfunctions so far. If you don’t want to show your own videos then don’t show them. You can just say so. Please do not expect me to believe Queene Mines is so badly run your security cameras don’t work.”
Queene said, “I am not in maintenance or in security. I am sure I don’t understand the technical details of these matters.”
Cleasemount shook her head. “These are your warrants whether Sheriff Gutierrez illegally signed them by proxy or not. Which of the two of you is planning on supporting the theory that these four men stole the ship or as Mister Hunter contends you gave it to them?”
Chapter 25.6
Joey said, “I was playing Zombies in Space. Do you know that one? It is really cool with the undead trying to get at you and their flesh is falling off their bodies and you get to hack them to pieces with your machete, but you can’t let them bite you ‘cause you die and you can play it multi-player with special attachments and the zombies won’t even die if you let all of the air out of the ship cause they are already dead…”
Chapter 25.7
Cleasemount looked a bit stunned, “McNally and Franklin sent a spaceship off into the sun? It was a viable working spacecraft? Where are these two morons anyway? How come I have only heard from Mister Hunter so far in all these matters?”
Doc Savage, the earther miner halted his reading of the warrant. “Um, it is my understanding that they are both dead.”
Cleasemount shouted, “Dead? What do you mean dead? Did Mister Hunter kill these two as well as Mr. Cooper?”
Doc shook his head. “No. I was told McNally was killed by Evelyn Queene’s assistant Wallace-”
Sheriff Bob interrupted. “He was allegedly killed by Wallace. We haven’t had time to review the videos or even get Doctor Brown’s findings of death.”
Sno laughed and called out, “Findings of death? Come on, Sheriff Bob. He had his throat cut from ear to ear and down to the bone. I saw that cut myself. And Hunter saw who did it.”
Cleasemount banged her revolver on the table, “Enough squabbling. Mister McNally is dead. We do not have an official ruling on his death.” She scratched a few notes in her desk pad. “We just have to add his death to this ever lengthening list of things to discuss and resolve.”
Cleasemount stared at Sheriff Bob. “Then how did Franklin die?”
Chapter 25.8
Cleasemount looked at Sheriff Bob with a wide smile. “Sheriff Gutierrez, I can honestly say I am not surprised about your relationship with Miss Queene. I am just amazed you didn’t bother to cover your video trail.”
Queene jumped to her feet. “I renew my objection to showing any part of these video clips. I didn’t give anyone permission to video me or to release such videos for viewing. You said I could refuse to show my own videos.”
Cleasemount said patiently, “It is a good thing I just had a quick sandwich and that I am in a good mood. Let me explain this again Miss Queene. None of the videos shown as evidence are from recorders that you own. The video in question was taken by one of Sheriff Gutierrez’ office cameras. I can officially assume he either forgot to encode a secure password on these videos or he was too lazy to keep it off the public nets. Personally, I believe he let this one leak out for bragging rights.”
Queene shouted, “But it is an invasion of my privacy.”
Cleasemount shook her head. “It is his office, Miss Queene. That is a public building open to everyone so there is no expectation of privacy even if he had locks on the door. By the way, that was a very attractive matching set of bra and panties you were wearing.” She turned to Sheriff Bob as he had stopped halfway to standing up with his hand up and his mouth open to speak. “No, Bob. I am still going to turn down your request to replay that part of the video.”
Chapter 25.9
Cleasemount looked startled, “They had you tied naked to a table? I think you have said enough, Miss Whyte. We get the picture. Please feel free to sit down.”
Sno started to sit, but Abramsohn caught her eye as he shook his head, “Oh, sorry Miss Cleasemount, but I want to make sure we get into the record a video statement from Captain Prentiss Chalmers from GD Mining about his involvement in my rescue from kidnapping and piracy.”
Cleasemount shook her head. “I suppose he got to see you strapped naked to a table too?”
Sno tried but could not keep her face from turning bright red.
Cleasemount said, “I am sorry, Miss Whyte. I didn’t realize he really must have. And no, Bob sit back down. We are not playing that whole video either.”
Chapter 25.10
Hunter shook his head, “No, Miss Cleasemount. Miss Whyte only put them in the rock chamber. I was responsible for taking care of them for the whole trip back. She watched me to make sure I did it, but if any of them were mistreated it was by me.”
Cleasemount looked over at Sheriff Bob. “Well, Sheriff Gutierrez. It seems three of four complainants on this warrant are dead. And we have a statement from the fourth member of this warrant stating he is guilty of abusing the other men while he himself was being held prisoner. He has so sworn that it was not Miss Wh
yte who abused any of these men in custody. Do you wish to pursue this warrant by proxy for the dead men?”
Sheriff Bob shook his head. “Not me.”
Evelyn Queene jumped to her feet. “Well, I do. They were my employees and I want their rights protected.”
Chapter 25.11
Cleasemount said, “Alright, everyone stay seated until I have left the room. I need a toilet break and I get to go first.”
Chapter 26.0
Cleasemount was banging her revolver on the table. “Settle down, ladies and gentlemen. That was not our first break. You should be used to getting back quickly and settling into your seats quietly. However, if we work at this hard and quick enough we just might be able to finish these hearings before we need another break. We have been at this for far too long. I need to go home and take a shower. So, either find a seat or get out.”
Most of the audience was settling back in for what was beginning to look like the last session before closing the hearings. Warrant after warrant had been read and everyone who had anything to say had been heard.
Cleasemount was just about to bang her ‘gavel’ on the table again when a human screech halted her old revolver in mid-air. She looked up to see Hunter flying across the room at Sno.
Hunter shouted, “Look out! It’s him.” He threw himself at Sno.
Sno grabbed the flying man by the shoulders, twisted and dropped him to the floor. She put her knee onto his throat and raised a naked fist, preparing to strike.
Sno’s blow to Hunter’ face was interrupted by the loud snap of a gunshot echoing across the room. Instead of punching Hunter, she grabbed his shirt lapels and rolled as a duo into Willem and Vittie, knocking them to the floor in a tangled pile.
