I lightly bit the inside of my cheek as I thought about what to say to her. “To be honest, it’s gotten rather complicated,” I said finally. “Race has gotten dragged into it, unfortunately, and so has his mom. That’s why she’s coming up to visit.”
I saw that Karen was frowning. “How in the world could Race have gotten dragged into it so bad his mama’s got to come and help him straighten it out?”
“Race was defending me,” I said, giving her an abbreviation of the truth. “I guess that even though a good sixteen years have passed since she saw me last, the knowledge that Race and I are a couple makes her see me as part of her family.”
I shrugged, not knowing what else I could tell her that would make her understand without having to tell her the truth.
As we entered the downtown area, I began pointing out the local shops and landmarks, noting which were popular with different age groups. Of course, our local game and movie trading store was the most popular with teens, especially since the owner had set up stations where they could try out games. He even held tournaments once in a while. We drove by the courthouse, police station, and hospital, where I mentioned my mother worked. I directed her to the park, we went by the municipal swimming pool, and she marveled at the fact that we had a Carnegie library.
When at last we were sitting down at Bob Evans for lunch, Karen told me, “You know… I get the feeling that this place is one of those steadily expanding cities that always feels like it’s still a small town. I mean, based on everything you’ve showed me and the market research and everything.”
A server came and took our drink orders and left to retrieve them. “Do you really think Cool Beans is going to open up a shop here—I mean, is that already decided or is it just a possibility?” I asked.
“Well, according to the market research—and I forget when they actually did this study—there’s apparently real potential here. Most of the people polled seemed to really like the idea.”
I snorted as the waitress brought our drinks, sipping my Cherry Coke as Karen ordered a bowl of chili. After I’d ordered a pot roast sandwich and the young lady had left again to place our order, I said to Karen, “Market research said we’d love a Sonic too. Look what happened there—out of business and out of town in less than a year.”
She nodded. “I think I heard about that. Something to do with an inability to keep employees, bad management, and several cases of food poisoning is what I heard—though that doesn’t necessarily reflect on the company as a whole. I actually like Sonic’s food. I like sitting in my car to eat sometimes. Feels like I’m sitting at a drive-in, only there’s no movie.”
“I ate there a couple of times and felt the same thing!” I said with surprise. “I remember sitting there and wishing there was a movie playing in front of the car.”
Karen laughed at that, and throughout our meal we made light chatter about what else went on in town, the best nearby cities to go to for what we didn’t have, and, of course, men. It wasn’t until we were in her car and on our way back to the farm that I knew she wanted to ask a question I probably wasn’t going to like—her entire demeanor had suddenly changed, from her posture to her grip on the wheel to her sudden silence. Having a pretty good idea what she wanted to ask me about, and feeling nervous about the answer, I waited quietly for her to speak.
“Juliette,” she began at last. “Can I ask you something? It’s a personal question and you certainly don’t have to answer, but…”
I sighed softly. “Just ask me, Karen.”
Karen cleared her throat and spoke hesitantly. “Well, I’m just wondering… When I first met you almost three weeks ago, you were pretty quiet—didn’t speak unless spoken to, turned down invitations to hang out, and you were real jumpy around the guys even though I know you were trying to hide it.”
“And you want to know why?”
“Well, yeah,” she replied. “You’re so different now. I don’t know if it’s because of the new man in your life or what, but you seem, well…better. Happier, I guess. It’s like you’ve come out of your proverbial shell.”
I sighed again. What did I say to her? How did I say it—could I even say it? It was still hard as hell to talk about with the people I was closest to, and I knew that despite having discussed it briefly with Race and Saphrona, the subject had been mostly avoided by the two of them, my mother, and my brother because they were trying to give me the time and space I needed to be comfortable enough—to be strong enough—to face the demons of my memory.
Even now I could feel a thin trickle of panic creeping up my spine, could feel the tightening of my chest as my lungs prepared to hyperventilate. I gripped my seatbelt tightly with both hands and closed my eyes, wishing vainly that Race was there to wrap his arms around me, to comfort me as he had when I’d had that damn flashback.
And then suddenly I did feel him—not his arms, of course, but his love. My education into the mysticism of my species had taught me that a bonded pair could sense great emotional distress in one another over distances, though no one could really say what the limit was as no one had really tried to test it, not wanting to be too far from their mates for any reason (the histories also said that physical pain could be felt at great distance—another thing that no one had ever desired to test). I knew we were still a couple of miles from the farm, yet I could feel Race through our bond, his love and concern for me, his desire to make it all go away.
“Shit, Jules, I’m sorry,” Karen was saying. “I shouldn’t have asked, you’re obviously still—”
“I was raped,” I said on a huff of breath. “Kidnapped by two assholes, beaten and tortured, and then raped.”
In the following instant, I felt the car suddenly decelerate. Opening my eyes, I looked over to find Karen with one hand on her mouth, tears falling from her eyes.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “I am so sorry.”
A car behind us honked, causing Karen to shake her head and pick up the pace again. We accelerated toward the speed limit while she wiped at her eyes. “Thank you, Karen,” I said, “but I’m all right now. At least, I’m getting there. Most people wouldn’t think so, but running into Race again after all these years and realizing that we had feelings for each other has helped. It’s helped a lot. I’m getting better, so don’t feel sorry for me, okay? Really, it’ll just piss me off.”
My companion loosed a brittle laugh and sniffled. “Well, I hope to fuck those bastards are in jail and will rot there for the rest of their worthless lives.”
“Oh, they’re rotting all right—but not in jail,” I replied, and I knew that Karen would understand my meaning: that my abusers were dead.
She glanced sidelong at me, then back at the road ahead. “Rotting in hell, eh? No better place for ‘em.”
Karen didn’t ask me how my attackers had died. She didn’t ask who had killed them. I didn’t offer up the information—it was in her best interests that she not know more than was necessary, and she certainly didn’t need to know that Saphrona’s brother had ripped the heads off of the men who had done more harm to my soul than they had to my body. I was just glad that she accepted that they were gone and weren’t around to do that same harm to someone else.
We drove the rest of the way back to the farm in silence, and were greeted as we pulled alongside the house by Race as he came out of the barn. Outwardly he seemed only happy to see me, but in his eyes and thoughts I could read his concern. I smiled as I got out of the car, hoping to reassure him, then turned and waved to Karen as she backed down the drive once more. A strong, warm arm made its way around my waist as I watched her go.
“Are you alright?” Race asked. “A little while ago I felt…”
“I know,” I said, turning to wrap my arms around his waist, feeling wonderfully complete when Race returned the gesture. “I felt you too, thank goodness. You kept me anchored, kept me from going back there again.”
“What happened?”
I sighed. “Karen said she
could tell there was a big difference between the me she was with today and the me she met almost three weeks ago.”
Race’s arms squeezed me gently. “I take it it’s a big difference?” he asked softly.
I nodded against the heartbeat I could hear and feel thumping steadily beneath my ear. “If you had walked into Cool Beans my first week working there, you wouldn’t have recognized me, even if you’d known who I was. I was broken back then, so very broken.”
Though his arms tightened further, I brought my hands to his chest and pushed back a few inches so that I could look into his eyes. “There are still cracks, Race, cracks that are going to take more time to fix. I still get panicked and terror claws at my throat when I think about that day…”
I paused, closing my eyes for a moment to take a breath. When I opened them again I saw pain in Race’s hazel depths, pain I knew he suffered because I still suffered. I smiled softly as I raised a hand to cup his cheek. “But those cracks? They get smaller every day because I’m healing—and it started the day you walked back into my life.”
Finally the tightness around his eyes softened, and he lowered his head to touch my lips with his. The kiss was tender, sweet, but I could feel the emotion behind it through our bond. I knew that Race wished there was time to show me the only way he knew how that he loved me, but alas, neither of us had the time.
With a reluctant sigh, we parted. “I should get going,” he said. “I want to get to Tyler’s a little early, get a sense of the wolves as they arrive.”
I nodded. “I may as well get going myself, since I can’t go with you. Just remember, if anyone asks why your mate isn’t with you, you remind them of the importance of family and say that I’m picking up your mother from the airport. Even a simple task like that should satisfy them. Hell, some of them might even appreciate that you sent someone else instead of going yourself to pick her up. Seeing them as more important will be points in your favor.”
“There is no one in this world more important to me than you or my mother,” Race said with a snort. “But I get what you’re saying.”
We turned and headed hand in hand to the three vehicles parked off to the side of the driveway. Race informed me that Mark had loaned him the use of his truck, which prompted me to inquire as to the whereabouts of my brother and his girlfriend.
“They went for a ride again, said something about repairing a section of fence they’d noticed was damaged the other day when they were out. But that reminds me,” Race said, stopping and reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a cell phone and pressed a number, then grinned like a fool when my cell phone began to trill from my own pocket.
I laughed as I pulled it out. “I take it you went out and got a new phone while I was gone?”
“Yeah, figured I’d better or Mom was going to kill me if she had to call yours one more time—I sent her a text as soon as I got it turned on so she’d know I still had the same number. Save that so you know it’s me calling,” he replied as he pressed another button, abruptly causing the ringing to stop.
I was already doing that and told him so. “You’re my number two speed dial, pretty boy.”
A look of mock hurt crossed his features. “I’m not number one?”
“No, that’s voicemail,” I said with a grin.
Laughing, he kissed me again and then opened the driver’s side door of my Jeep so I could climb in. “Not that it needs saying, but be careful on the freeway. And give my mother my love. Oh, by the way—Saphrona has already made up the guest room in the house for us so that Mom can stay in our apartment. That way she doesn’t have to pay for a hotel, but won’t feel like she’s intruding or imposing on anyone.”
“I’d actually meant to suggest that myself and forgot last night,” I said as I fished my keys out of my pocket and put the car key in the ignition.
Race chuckled. “I wonder why that was?” he said, his eyes sparkling now, but with a smolder of desire burning behind the humor.
“You know perfectly well, pretty boy,” I said, leaning over to give him another quick kiss. “Now enough teasing, you need to focus. Thinking about sex won’t get you very far with the wolves.”
Sighing, Race straightened. “Thanks for the reminder,” he said drily. “But you’re right. I need to get my mind out of the gutter for the next few hours. If I’m going to make these people see that they’d be a lot better off without Kevin, then I’d best get my head in the game.”
I reached for his hand. “Race, you can do this. I know you can.”
He returned the light squeeze I’d given him. “Your faith is the only thing making me think I can, too.”
“Hey, when you see them, and you talk to them, you’ll see it too. And I’m sure most, if not all, of the wolves will believe in you just as much as I do, once they’ve seen how much you care about them,” I said firmly.
Race smiled. “Thanks, Juliette,” he said, giving my hand another squeeze before releasing it. “If Mom asks… you can tell her what’s going on. If you feel comfortable doing it. But I think you should tell her something, I know she’s probably already worried herself into a knot over this ‘meeting’ I have.”
I nodded. “Okay. She did seem concerned last night.”
“My mother’s been living just this side of a paranoid meltdown ever since I phased the first time,” Race told me. “I hate that she worries so much.”
“Seeing you tonight will surely put her mind at ease,” I said.
He sighed. “I hope so,” he replied, then leaned in to give me another long, smoldering kiss. Both of us pulled away from the other reluctantly, but knowing if we didn’t we might both be late for our appointments.
I waited until Race had climbed into Mark’s Dodge before I pulled my seatbelt on (a new one, given Race had torn the driver’s side belt) and started my car. I backed up and turned so that I could go down the drive forward, and honked a final goodbye at Race as we both reached the street, turning in opposite directions.
***
Traffic coming in and out of Port Columbus was, to put it mildly, a bitch. Bad enough it had taken me a little over an hour to drive there—took me nearly half an hour once I was on the grounds to get into the short-term parking garage and find a spot to park. I was thinking it was a good thing I’d left early as I got out, then discovered as I headed for the walkway into the airport just why it was that getting a spot had been so difficult:
There was a science fiction convention going on at one of the nearby hotels. Cosplayers were out in droves, celebrating their fandoms and showing off their costuming skills.
Little do they know, I mused as I threaded my way through the crowd.
When I reached the gate for Delta Airlines flight 1102, I found a vacant seat in the waiting area and settled in to wait another hour for Race’s mother to arrive. I tried not to be nervous as I plugged a set of earbuds into my cell phone to listen to some music. It had been sixteen years since I’d seen Caroline Covington, who’d always been very sweet to me when her son and my brother would take off and leave me all alone because they didn’t want to be bothered with a shadow. But that was a long time ago— and I wasn’t a little girl anymore. I was a woman now and I was dating her son. We had very similar conditions.
She was bound to have questions. About what I was, what I could do. She’d want to know if I could tell her anything about what Race was. It occurred to me as I sat there not really hearing Linkin Park in my ears that she might not actually like that Race and I were together. She might well have wanted someone who was normal for him, and not a freak of nature. But then, she’d have to consider Race a freak of nature as well if that were true. And from what he’d said—and what I’d heard in the undercurrent of her voice last night when we spoke—Caroline loved her son fiercely. She hadn’t run from him in fear of what he was and she could have. Instead, she had taken her son and run in fear of his being taken away from her. I had no doubt that she did not consider Race a freak of nature, and didn’t rea
lly think she would see me that way. But a girl can’t help wondering what her guy’s mother will think of her, even a mother she’s known since her childhood.
Before I knew it, the concourse door had opened and passengers from flight 1102 began filing out. I pulled the earbuds out of my ears and stuffed them in the pocket of my jacket along with my cell phone, scanning the women who were departing from the plane and wondering if I would even recognize Race’s mother.
I needn’t have worried. After about three minutes of searching, a woman with green eyes and blonde hair the same shade as Race’s approached me, a smile very similar to his forming on her lips. “Juliette, is that you?” she asked.
I nodded and returned her smile. She looked very lovely for a woman nearing 50; she was trim and wore her gray pantsuit very well. “Ms. Covington, it’s so good to see you again after all these years,” I said, stepping up to her and offering my hand to shake.
When Caroline grabbed it she pulled me to her, her embrace tight. “Oh my dear girl,” she said, her voice suddenly hoarse with emotion. “My boy isn’t alone anymore.”
I knew she meant in the world of the strange and unusual, and so I hugged her back. “He never was, ma’am. He just didn’t know it. The people he used to work for kept it from him, and to be honest I’m surprised they were able to do it for so long.”
She stood back, and I saw that she was fighting tears. Here was the proof of my musings—her heart was still breaking over the fact that Race had been the only shapeshifter he knew for so much of his life. For the fact that if she’d only confided in my mother—once her best friend—he wouldn’t have had to be alone.
Before she could speak, I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Please do not beat yourself up over doing what a mother should for her child. You thought you were protecting him, and Race understands that. None of what he’s been through is your fault.”
Caroline laughed a little when she looked up at me again. Her eyes still shone with unshed tears, but she was smiling. “I am amazed you understand him and believe in him so completely so soon,” she said. “And so very, very pleased. Whether my fault or not, I know my son has been very lonely all these years, not being able to share what he was with those he felt close to. Now he has you. And he has Mark as a friend again, and all those others in your…family.”
From the Shadows (A Shadow Chronicles Novel) Page 28
