by Hazel Black
‘I’m too busy dealing with how heavy you are!’
We reached the houses on the opposite side of the green and saw there was a small store on one of the corners. I figured Laura was inside buying cigarettes for her mother. I couldn’t drag Emily any further so I propped her up against a garden wall and from there we watched the store. As we waited for Laura to remerge, a quartet of older teenage guys appeared from the shadowy green and loitered by the corner next to us. They were a rough bunch. I sensed they were carrying weapons and were willing to use them on anyone who crossed their path. I tried to read their thoughts and found it to be easy; these guys didn’t need to hide anything from anyone.
Two of them were carrying small bags of cocaine and marijuana, one of them handled the money, and the youngest of them, who they referred to as Mouse, was acting as lookout. The one who was carrying the roll of cash, who I sensed was called Josh, was the leader, and the nastiest of the bunch. His mind was brimming with malice. I also sensed that the same drug he was peddling was coursing through his own body and influencing his thoughts. It was fuelling his malicious tendencies. This guy was a danger to every living person in Millbrook.
I was starting to feel anxious at the idea of Laura returning this way and risking an encounter with the gang. There was little I could do to direct her on a different path. Being a spirit was unbelievably frustrating at times.
‘Calm down, Lucy. It serves no purpose to get worked up like this.’
‘I’m not worked up.’
‘Who do you think you’re talking to?’
‘My spiritual Mom.’
‘Funny,’ Emily sighed. ‘Look, here she comes.’
I turned to see Laura slowly making her way up the pavement towards us. She looked so awkward and timid, like a fawn who was unaware that she was wandering into the wolves’ lair.
‘Heads up,’ Mouse hollered to the others. ‘It’s the snitch!’
‘Finally,’ Josh smiled. ‘I was starting to think this little whore would never show her face again.’
Josh started laughing. I could see that there was anger rising behind his grin. He pushed himself off the wall with his elbows and joined Mouse and one of the others, a tall and muscular boy with a shaved head, on the corner and they watched Laura approaching.
My chosen noticed them as she drew near, then planted her gaze to the footpath. Her body exploded with anxiety and her limbs were trembling. There was history between her and the gang, I could feel it, and there was going to be a confrontation. I instinctively moved towards Josh, so I could protect Laura from him, but Emily grasped my shoulder and pulled me back.
‘Observe only.’
‘He’s going to hurt her.’
‘And what are you going to do? Even if you could stop him, it’s forbidden.’
It was impossible to contain myself. My temper was boiling over and for the first time my own aura became visible, like those of the living. It flickered over my body in streams of crimson and orange.
Laura reached the corner and Mouse blocked her path, bringing her to a halt. Josh then stepped forward and poked her in the shoulder.
‘Come here to check up on what we’re doing, did you?’
‘Just getting cigarettes for my mum,’ she told him.
‘They’re my cigarettes now, bitch. Hand them over.’ He held out a hand that had his name tattooed on the knuckles. ‘Don’t make me take them from you.’
She grudgingly passed them to Josh and he flung them to Mouse before grabbing a fistful of Laura’s hair. He dragged her face close to his own and glared at her.
‘Not too smart now, are you?’ he hissed. ‘Threatening to rat us out to the cops. You better get it into that thick head of yours that this whole place and everyone in it belongs to us. That includes you!’
‘I don’t belong to anyone,’ she protested. ‘I don’t belong to you.’
‘Oh, you’re wrong. I control your life. You do anything that I don’t like and I’ll make your life, and the life of your drunken bitch of a mother, a living hell.’ He pulled a carpet knife from the back pocket of his jeans and put the point of the blade to her left eye. ‘You understand what I’m saying, bitch?’
‘Yes,’ Laura sniffled. Tears were rolling down her face and her entire body was shaking. ‘Let me go.’
‘That sounded like an order.’
‘Please, can I go?’
‘That’s better.’ Josh released his grip on her then pushed her away. One of his henchmen stuck out a foot and Laura toppled over it and fell hard on the pavement. This brought a cheer from the rest of the guys and some younger kids who were watching from a distance.
I was losing my temper and my aura was burning around me like a bonfire, but Emily remained strong enough to keep me in place. I saw frightened faces in the windows of the houses and couldn’t understand why no one had come to help.
‘They’re as afraid of them as Laura is,’ Emily told me. ‘Fear has defeated most of them.’
‘This isn’t right, Emily.’
‘I did tell you that you’d see terrible injustice and that you’d just have to accept it.’
‘We should be able to stop things like this from happening.’
‘You will guide this girl in the coming years to ensure she escapes this place and all the bullies that live here. That’s your job. Directly intervening could get you banished like those black spirits I talked to you about.’
‘I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a guide, Emily.’
‘You’ll make a fine guide. Just make sure to remain focused on Laura, not those who surround her.’
She linked my arm and we followed my chosen as she sprinted crossing the green towards her home. I looked back to see Josh pulling a cigarette from the box with his teeth. There was a wicked smile on his face and an obscene fulfilment in his sour heart. I didn’t care that I was only supposed to observe. He was going to pay for hurting Laura. I’d get my revenge on him sooner or later.
- CHAPTER SEVEN -
A Second Death
The atmosphere inside the apartment was volatile that evening. Emily and I listened to Laura and Grace screaming at each other for hours on end. It had sparked off when Laura told her the cigarettes had been stolen by the gang. Unsurprisingly her mother had gone nuts. She started shouting at Laura about how useless and cowardly she was. Her daughter surprised me by giving a fair account of herself. Perhaps she wasn’t the delicate little person I’d initially believed her to be. She had the temper of a tiger and when she got going, she was a match for her mother. This almost brought a smile to my face.
The argument was sickening to listen to. It became very personal at one point. Both of them picked out each other’s deepest flaws and most private of secrets and used them as emotional weapons. I could sense the detrimental effect that this was having on them. Both mother and daughter were hurting. Laura, in particular, was being torn apart by the anger and the despair she was going through.
All because of a pack of cigarettes. A little box that can only do harm. It seemed so pointless to me and proved Emily’s point that the living were often petty and didn’t value the most important things in life: family and friendship.
It all calmed down after Laura had stormed off to her room, slammed the door and bolted it. Grace went to sit in front of the TV and started drinking. I could tell this was nothing new. It had probably been repeated many times over the years, but both mother and daughter appeared to be approaching a breaking point, a moment when one of them would cross the line and the damage to their relationship would be irreparable. Alcohol was the root of the problem. A drug that was so meaningless to me now that I had left the world of the living. How could anyone jeopardise the relationship with their closest family for a temporary high?
Emily spent the evening sitting in Laura’s room admiring her collection of books - at least that’s what she said she was doing. I suspected she needed to distance herself from the argument. All negative emotions drained what little energy she had left. I asked her how she was feeling but all she did was grunt at me, which was her way of telling me she didn’t want to be bothered. She just sat there placing her hand on the spine of each book as if she was blessing them or something. It was all very strange.
Laura sat by the window, staring out at the distant, twinkling lights of the cityscape. I sat next to her and examined her face. I probed her mind and it was still full of ambitious thoughts. Not at all what I had expected after such a blazing and hurtful row, not to mention being harassed by the band of thugs. Laura had extraordinary inner strength. She had the will to overcome any adversity that would come her way.
That got me thinking: Why was I needed to guide her if she had such strength? She was smarter than me and although she was young, Laura was quite a mature person. There had to be some purpose in it all. Why the hell was I picked to be her spirit guide?
‘Stop trying to figure it all out,’ Emily moaned from the other side of the room.
‘I wasn’t trying to figure anything out.’
‘I’m still your guide, Lucy. That means I can still read your mind. It’s difficult to see a purpose or plan in any of this, but believe me, there is one. Some day it will all make perfect sense.’
‘I have my doubts. Does this one,’ I nodded at Laura, ‘appear to need the help of someone like me?’
‘Who knows what will happen in the future. Someday she may need support. She may need someone to help in making the right decision when the most important moment of her life comes along. Try to be patient, Lucy. She will depend on you sooner or later.’
‘There’s something else on my mind.’ I crossed the room and sat on the floor next to Emily. ‘What if I can’t bond with her?’
‘Of course you’ll be able to. Don’t be stupid.’
‘I’m not one for shedding tears, Emily. You should know that by now. I don’t think I’ll be able to cry at will. And if I can’t cry, then I can’t bond with her.’
‘You will when the time comes.’
‘Why are you so sure?’
‘Because I thought the same before I bonded with you. I wasn’t one for crying during my mortal life.’ A shade of blue shimmered across her dark eyes. ‘It was all so very easy when the time arrived.’
‘How did you manage to cry? Did you just make yourself do it?’
‘I’d rather not tell you. It will be easy when the time comes, Lucy. This has been going on for thousands of years and there has never been a spirit guide who could not bond with their chosen. Now, help me up. I need a more comfortable spot for the night.’
Emily was so heavy now that she couldn’t walk by herself, and it was quite the struggle for her to move even with my help. I lifted her arm across my shoulders and dragged, more than helped, her from the chair. I managed to get her to the foot of the bed where she sat with her head against the end of the mattress. Her aura was extinguished now and she was rooted to the floor by her ever increasing weight. All the energy she had gathered over the years was condensing deep inside her and it would soon be released as she slipped through into the world beyond.
It troubled me deeply to have Laura on one side of the room in emotional turmoil and Emily slowly dying on the other. This would be a long night, and I was dreading the day that would follow. Emily would pass on soon and I’d be alone in the mirror world for the first time. I would be a guide without guidance.
‘Are you scared?’ I asked Emily as I held her tight to me.
‘This is no place for fear in this-’
‘Are you scared?’
‘Yes.’
I looked into her eyes and the light was completely gone from them. She was close to death.
‘Just try your best to stay out of trouble, Lucy. Remember that the shepherd is ruthless and will show no mercy if you break its laws.’
‘Okay,’ I assured her, my voice trembling slightly. ‘I won’t let you down.’
‘And run as fast as you can if you ever encounter one of the black spirits. They are wicked beyond comprehension and they can do a lot of damage to someone like you. They all take on different forms but each is as sinister as the next and will seek to hurt you. At all costs you must keep Laura from coming to their attention. There’s nothing they enjoy more than to corrupt a pure and innocent soul. They would view her as irresistible.’
‘Can I fight them?’
‘Don’t even think about it.’
‘Can they be fought?’
‘There is a way…’ Emily shook her head from side to side. ‘Just forget about all that. Stay clear of them and you’ll be all right.’
The living world was full of danger, I could see that by spending only a few hours in Millbrook, but I was starting to see that my own world was not safe either. It was fraught with entities that posed a threat to me. The shepherd was constantly watching and waiting for me to do something wrong, and there were evil and twisted ghosts who could harm me if I wasn’t careful.
I couldn’t think for my own safety in that moment. Laura needed me to be vigilant and Emily needed me to be strong. My guide didn’t display much fear but I could tell she was terrified by what was happening to her. Anyone would be afraid when facing death - even though she’d faced it before. The unknown is never to be taken lightly.
‘I’ll never forget you,’ I whispered to Emily. She was now shrinking as well as weakening. It broke my heart to look on her in such a state. Her aura was no more and all that was left was a painfully thin frame that was growing duller by the second. ‘I’ll always remember you in the way you used to be. Not the way you are now.’
‘Maybe you’re more mature than I gave you credit for,’ she replied, her words no more than a whisper. ‘I’ll always remember you too, Lucy. I’ll be on the other side waiting for you when your time here is at an end.’
‘Great,’ I smiled, ‘I’ll have more lecturing to look forward to.’
She tried to return the smile but her energy was spent and her eyes went vacant, with no movement or sparkle in them. Most would have been terrified to look on her. All traces of humanity were lost in her deathly appearance. I held her tight though, for I knew that appearances meant nothing and that Emily remained beautiful inside. She was like a dying angel.
* * *
The worst thing about being a spirit guide was the absence of sleep. It felt strange to me to be awake when the rest of the world was dreaming. I would have liked to sleep that night and to take a break from my life for a few hours. There was no time-out. No sleep. I never even blinked.
The nocturnal silence seemed to slow time itself. There was nothing to be heard except for the occasional car droning into the night or some drunkard staggering through distant streets shouting at nothing. Emily was almost dead. She was freezing to the touch and was nothing more than a skeleton. She was so heavy that she could no longer speak or move in any way. That was the worst time. I had to keep checking every few moments to see if she was still alive. The painful silence remained until 5.30am when the birds in the trees outside started to chirp and whistle.
Light crept into the room. I felt the power of the cold sun surrounding me, sucking away the strength that night world gifted me. My emotions grew depressed. I didn’t need to look at Emily to know she was dead. I just felt it. I was totally alone in mirror world.
Her body began to crumble as soon as I budged. First her hands disintegrated in mine. Then she slumped onto my shoulder and withered before my eyes.
It hadn’t happened like I’d expected it to. It left me feeling so cold inside, helpless
to influence anything in this or any other world. I looked at her wizened face one last time before her entire body crumbled and quickly evaporated into the air. Then there was nothing. I was alone in a world of dead people.
I was heartbroken that Emily was gone, but also that she had died such an undignified death. I raised my hand and smeared the tears across my cheeks. I walked to the window and hung my head and glistening tears dashed the sill. How was I going to do this alone?
Tears were streaming from my eyes… I was crying… Emily told me that it would be impossible for me not to bond with Laura when the time came. She’d assured me that I would shed a tear to make the bond. She was right as always.
I crossed the room and leaned over Laura who was sleeping soundly. I lifted my hand to my face and caught a single tear that fell from my cheek. This was a piece of my inner aura, and was glowing bright, even in the sunlit room, and it got even brighter as I moved my hand towards Laura. This would mean I was tied to this person for the rest of her life.
I put my hand to her face and the glowing teardrop snaked through my fingers and touched her cheek. It meandered down her face and neck before disappearing beneath her skin and into her heart. The bond was made. I was expecting it to be an uplifting experience. All I felt was foreboding.
It felt as if establishing this bond would lead to a confrontation with true evil.
- CHAPTER EIGHT -
Trouble
I watched Laura climbing out of bed that morning and quickly realised that something about her had been altered. Her thoughts and emotions were different than they had been the previous day. She was more confident and there was a rebelliousness boiling behind that tame exterior of hers. How could someone go through such a drastic change in personality so quickly? Nobody could change overnight without experiencing some dramatic or traumatic event. Then I realised she had been through a dramatic event - the bonding. It must have been what brought about the change in her.
