by Hazel Black
I was running out of time. The shepherd had surely sensed the rules of its world being exploited. I staggered back to the bed, still unable to perfectly control Laura’s body. As soon as I had gotten under the covers I clamped my eyes shut and tried to free myself of her body.
I was overcome with panic. I couldn’t get out. I was trapped. The more I tried, the deeper I plunged into her mind. Suddenly I was surrounded by her memories. They were flowing through me and around me. One moment I was feeling elation, the next terrible sadness, then anger, then hope. I was drowning in emotion and my mind went blank for a moment. That was when I slipped back into night world and found myself lying on the bed next to my chosen.
The room was suddenly like a sauna and I realised the shepherd was right outside the apartment block, searching for the source of the disturbance. I distanced myself from Laura and backed myself into the corner on the opposite side of the room. The window turned red and a pair glowing white eyes stared in at me.
* * *
I sat on the rooftop and watched the lights of night world diminish. A grey veil took the world and the pale sun rose above the city once more. It was the first time I was glad to see the dawn of mirror world. I’d been lucky to survive the night that went before this miserable awakening. The shepherd had been within touching distance. It had sensed my devilry but arrived too late to catch me in the act. Its burning eyes scanned me, stripping away layers of my soul. I stood naked beneath its awesome watch. I felt feeble next to a life force so powerful and ancient. I was at its complete mercy.
Then I sensed there was some compassion within all that power and history. It could so easily have hurt me, but instead it focused on Laura. Then, without warning, it bolted out of the room and left me standing there trembling like a sapling in a tornado. I never wanted to be near it again.
I caught a glimpse of its red wake, beyond the city, in the shadowy haze of the horizon. The shepherd never showed itself in sunlight and I figured it must have had a resting place in that great wilderness to the east. I was glad it was gone for a few hours. The fear inside me finally began to retreat.
I would never come to its attention again. No way. I was never getting into any trouble again. I would follow Emily’s lead and be the good spirit, doing the good work that guides are meant to do.
It was while I contemplated my future in the spirit world that I though of Tim. Where was he? Had he felt the wrath of the shepherd? Could he be harmed? It was in that confusing moment that I realised I had feelings for the handsome yet troublesome ghost. I wanted him so bad that it felt unnatural. How could I become besotted with someone so easily?
Then I remembered what he had said about touching another spirit so soon after bonding. Had I in some bizarre way become bound to him as well as Laura? The last thing I needed was to get involved with him. Could spirits even get involved? So many questions… No one to deliver definitive answers.
It wasn’t easy to admit it to myself, but it was clear to me that my feelings for Tim were more potent than those I had for Laura. My chosen was a nice kid. She truly was a good person, no doubt about it. I would never be able to interact with her on any normal level, though. Tim, on the other hand, could engage me in conversation. He could teach me. He could share laughter with me. I could share a love with him. He was everything I always fantasised about. But he also had a dark side, and because of his destiny I knew I could never trust him implicitly .
There was still a shade of hope for us. Maybe he could withstand that awful fate until my time in mirror world was at an end. Tim could make my life as a guide a much more bearable one.
I stood on the rooftop wall and looked out over the bleakness of Millbrook. It was empty. No life stirred in the living world. It was as dead now as the reflection of it that I was trapped in. I was desperately lonely. I had to find Tim.
- CHAPTER ELEVEN -
Black Tears
I forced my spirit body to become vaporous, allowing me to fall through the floors of the apartment block. The streets were silent as I stepped through the main entrance of the block into the grey atmosphere of Millbrook. It was calm at first, then I felt a sinister whisper hidden in the lack of sound. Some evil had recently vacated these streets. I stayed alert as I wandered west, along the narrow, winding roads of the estate. I encountered no life until I came to the very edge of the sprawl. There was a woman standing by the corner, one arm wrapped tightly across her chest to shield herself from the chill of dawn, the other arm raised, with a finger pointing to a derelict house that stood separated from the rest of the estate like a long estranged lover cast out for being old and different. Tim had told me that Josh and his gang often used a derelict house on the outskirts as a hideout. This was surely the same place.
A policeman was nodding as the woman spoke. Perhaps the evil I sensed had been in the real world. A terrible deed had been committed under the cloak of night world, of that I had no doubt. The only question that remained was: Had it been a mortal act or one carried out by a spirit?
‘I’m not saying who told me,’ the woman demanded. ‘All I’m saying is that something awful’s happened. Something unnatural was going on up there last night. I heard the screams myself.’
‘When exactly was this?’
‘A couple of hours ago - I don’t know exactly what time.’
‘Why didn’t you ring it in? Why wait until morning to flag down a passing squad car?’
‘I did ring it in. Your lot chose to ignore me. And not for the first time.’
‘I’ll check it out,’ the officer said wearily. His tone was indifferent. His face was wrinkled with fatigue. I felt his thoughts. He was so sick of this place. His will had been long since exhausted by chasing the many jackals of Millbrook. Surprisingly, I also sensed a mixture of arousal and disgust throbbing inside him. ‘I’ll be back if I find something.’
The woman rubbed her arms as she turned swiftly away, shuffling her flabby legs under the flimsy nightgown that she’d failed to realise was transparent in the morning sun. The officer had gotten a guilty thrill from it.
He climbed into the passenger seat of the squad car and told the driver to head up the abandoned house. I followed as the car slowly traversed the winding roads towards the dark structure, and overtook the officers as they spoke at the gates. The hall door was open, enticing me into the shadows inside. I approached cautiously, and a deep sense of foreboding chocked me as I stepped over the threshold.
There was enough light coming through the open door to see the pools of blood on the staircase. There was enough of it to promise a body. No harm could come to me here, but that didn’t stop me feeling an intense fear as I made my way up the stairs. I only got half way up when I saw Josh’s face through the banisters. His eyes were wide and glazed over, frozen in the last instant of life - an instant of sheer horror judging by his expression. I climbed further and saw his head was separated from his body. What on earth had happened here?
I took another step forward and felt myself being pulled towards the dead body. I had to concentrate fully to break free of its invisible grasp. Once free, I edged down a couple of steps to where I was safe, then surveyed the scene once again.
Could Tim have done this? Was he truly capable of causing such butchery in the living world? Was he capable of it in a psychological sense? I should have feared him in that moment, but all I could think of was finding him. I had to know if he was safe. After that, if he was unharmed, I could seek out the truth of what I was now looking at. My gaze panned to the landing and I wished to discover some reason in the grim evidence. There was but one clue: Large footprints in the blood - considerably larger than Josh’s shoes. Perhaps Tim had nothing to do with this murder. This could have been the macabre work of The Rosehill Ripper - the serial killer who had been terrorising the city and the surrounding towns for
many months.
When I was confident the scene would produce no further information I turned and breezed past the two police officers. One of them was mid-stair, gawking blankly at the body. The other was nearer the landing, hunched over, trying desperately not to spray his breakfast all over the crime scene.
Instinct led me to the rear of the house where I paused and caught a familiar scent. It was the remnants of the shepherd’s aura - I had detected that same odour when he confronted me only hours earlier. He had passed through this house and that meant trouble for whoever had attracted his attention. Where was Tim?
I left the back yard with haste and crossed through the long grass swaying in the morning bluster. The fields stretched out towards the shadowy towers of the city. I could see for miles and Tim was nowhere in sight. I did feel that he’d fled this way though, and I kept going on until a saw a dark shape hunched over, obscured by the dried yellow blades of grass. Initially I thought it was Tim, but as I drew closer I saw it was another of the black spirits that haunted this world. Mia turned as I approached and stared at me with her dead white eyes.
‘Emily’s spirit child,’ she sniggered. ‘You look lost. Should you not be guiding one of those sacks of blood?’
‘It’s none of your business what I’m doing.’
‘You’re headed for trouble, my dear. Darkness on the ground, fire in the air, and you’re stuck between them. Both have you in their sights.’
‘Spare me your riddles.’
‘Are you searching for your black hearted lover?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘You must have a short memory.’
‘Have you been spying on me?’
‘I watch everything in this place. I saw your passion on the rooftop with the young ghost. Oh, child, you are a naughty one.’
‘How sad your life must be if all you have is the twisted pleasure you get from spying on others. I pity you.’
‘Don’t pity your own fate, child.’
‘My fate is very different to yours.’
‘I beg to differ.’ She slowly lifted herself up and moved towards me. Her eyes grew bright as they narrowed and a smile stretched her horrid countenance. ‘Your new lover will be your ruin.’
‘Jealous?’
‘He is a pirate in the ocean of the dead. Be wary of him, child.’
‘Don’t get in my way, Mia. Keep your jealousy and your lies to yourself.’
‘You know nothing but the lies you are told.’
‘And you have nothing but the lies you invent.’
‘I have secrets, not lies. I could tell you a secret … something to open your eyes as to why you are here in the spirit world.’
‘I don’t want to hear your secrets!’
‘As you wish.’ Mia stood, her arms dangling like wind chimes from her skeletal shoulders. Her gaze turned to the earth and a low chuckle escaped her lipless mouth. ‘Be blind to the danger that surrounds you.’
‘What’s that?’ I asked her, pointing at some black stains on the ground. The grass was dead at her feet, with a dark scorched patch beneath. ‘Why are you laughing, Mia?’
‘Because I find something funny. Why else would I laugh?’
‘What made those stains?’
‘Tears of a ghost.’
‘Yours?’
‘Do I look upset?’
‘Tim…’
‘Oh, he was hurt bad last night,’ she smiled. ‘The shepherd very was close to destroying him. Your lover wept like a living infant. His tears are many.’
‘Where is he now?’ I demanded. ‘Tell me.’
‘You don’t want to hear my poisonous words, remember?’
‘You know how to find spirits. Tell me where he is, Mia. At least tell me how to track him down.’
‘Simply follow his tears. But you might not like what you find...’
She turned swiftly away from me, fell on all fours, then clambered away, fading gradually into the undergrowth.
I went to the black patch of ground. There was a dark fluid, still wet to the touch, surrounded by charred earth. What had happened to Tim? I felt so guilty that he had put himself at risk for a mistake that I had made. I had to find him. I had to help him.
I looked up to see the long grass to the east was dashed with the same black liquid. The trail was jagged and erratic, sometimes so sparse that it almost disappeared, sometimes I found larger stains and pools of it on the ground. Eventually it became clear the trail was leading me towards the city. Why would he flee to those unwelcoming streets? Why didn’t he come to me for help?
As I neared the abandoned outskirts of the city, the droplets led under an old stone bridge that spanned a narrow river. It was beneath the arch, in the deepest shadows, that I found Tim. He was huddled up next to the water’s edge, his head between his legs, rocking slowly back and forth. What had the shepherd done to him? My instincts were telling me to leave and never return. I was in danger by being here. I could feel it like a icy wind in the face.
‘Tim?’ I said nervously. ‘Tim, what’s wrong?’
‘Lucy?’ He slowly raised his head and looked at me with pale eyes that were dripping with black tears. ‘You’re safe…’
‘Forget about me. What happened to you?’
‘That red bastard caught me before I could hide. He burned me inside and out.’
‘He almost caught me too.’ I sat next to Tim and examined the dark patches on his neck and shoulders. ‘Looks like he got a hold of you.’
‘I’ll have my vengeance some day,’ he hissed. ‘You just wait and see. I’ll find a way to kill him.’
‘You can’t kill him.’
‘He lives, Lucy. Anything that lives can die.’
‘Maybe you should remember that before you challenge him again.’
‘He won’t get the better of me.’ Tim tried to stand. Agony shot across his face and he collapsed into the shallow water. ‘Damn him.’
‘Damn me, Tim. I’m the cause of this. You only got hurt because you were trying to protect me. I’m so sorry I got you involved in this.’
‘Don’t apologise.’ He looked terribly weak as he crawled from the stream, up the incline of dirt to the stone work of the arch. ‘I can’t help wanting to protect you, Lucy. I feel as if you and I are the only real people in this world. But even if there were a billion spirits in this place, you would still be the one that my heart belongs to. You stole it from me when I first set eyes on you.’
I sat with my back to the brick work and stared into his dark eyes. ‘I care about you too, Tim. I’m just getting worried that we’re both going to be badly hurt if we’re caught together.’
‘In my mind it’s worth risking everything for. I mean that.’
‘I know you do.’ I watched him carefully, desperately wanting to help him to be the strong and confident person he was the night before. ‘How can I help you? Is it possible to help you?’
‘It’s possible,’ he nodded. ‘I can take some of your energy. It’ll leave you weak for a few hours.’
‘How is it done?’
‘All we need do is touch.’ That familiar boyish charm lit up his face as he faced me. ‘The manner in which you touch me is entirely your own decision.’
I couldn’t hide my smile as I crawled across the dirt and leaned over him. Tim stared up at me from the shadows surrounding his eyes. Deep in the blackness there was soldering red that wanted me to touch it. I lowered my face, flicking his lips open with my tongue.
Tim’s tongue came alive from my touch. It burrowed deep into my mouth, sending sparks shooting deep inside me. I eased myself on top of him, our bodies coming together, our spirit limbs locking.
I’d never felt so alive. I was being slowly drained by my lover, although I was gaining in ecstasy from his touch.
‘Not too much,’ he whispered. ‘An embrace is all that is safe right now. Soon we can do more.’
‘I want more now,’ I said, unable to hide my hunger for him. ‘Why do we have to stop?’
‘I’m weak. I can’t handle too much of your aura. Remember, Lucy, I am not made of the same energy.’
I lifted myself from him and sat by the running water. Finding love in the afterlife had been a surprise. Finding sexual frustration was a bigger surprise - a very unwelcome one.
‘I’m sorry. I can’t take too much right now.’ I felt his arms sneak under mine, wrapping around my waist. ‘That shepherd has hollowed me out. I am finding it difficult to even concentrate. My thoughts constantly turn bitter.’
‘And twisted?’
‘Why do you say that?’ His arms retracted and he stepped away from me. I watched him circle me, a tall thin shadow in the gloom. ‘There’s something you’re not telling me.’
‘I went looking for you this morning,’ I replied evenly. ‘I felt there was something wrong with Millbrook as I walked the streets. It was emanating from the old house that the gang own.’
‘And?’
‘And I went there, Tim. I went there and I did not like what I found. I saw that boy, Josh, beheaded. I don’t feel much pity for him because I know the cruelty he was capable of, and that same cruelty could and probably would be inflicted on Laura at some point. But I can’t accept what happened to him.’
‘This is news to me. I scared the shit out of him and his friends, yes, but murder was not on my agenda. How could I possibly do that to a living person? I’m a spirit. I live in this world. I can’t affect the living world so directly.’
