“What a douche! When I saw him touch you Chels, I became unglued,” Derek said as he pulled Chelsea to him.
“My hero!” She stood on her tip toes and planted a kiss on his lip that was starting to swell.
I walked up to Jason and forced him to stop. “Thank you,” I said, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck. I noticed that one of his sleeves was torn, other than that I couldn’t see any damage.
“Did he hurt you at all?” He looked at my exposed upper arm and saw a bruise in the shape of a handprint was already beginning to form.
“I’ve had worse.” I thought back to the last time I had bruises like that, they were around my neck. Jason crushed me in a tremendous hug as if trying to press every emotion he was experiencing into me.
“You’ll always be safe with me. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He kissed the top of my head. We stayed close like that for a few moments and I couldn’t help thinking that I had heard that before.
Adrenaline was still running pretty high and the ride back to Chelsea’s apartment was animated. We recapped the highlights of the night. Jason, Derek and Chelsea were all in agreement that when I stomped down on the guy’s foot it was the pinnacle of awesome.
“You handled yourself well,” Jason remarked, giving my knee a light squeeze.
“I’m a city girl. It helps to know how to defend yourself.” I looked out the window and fought back the images of Mr. Genovese throwing me around the room, of his hands clawing at my legs as the pantyhose disintegrated beneath them and him gagging me with his tongue as he forced it in my mouth. I closed my eyes willing the free flow of memories to stop. The martinis churned in my empty stomach and I rolled the window down thinking the fresh air would help. The memories wouldn’t stop.
Jason glanced over at me and smiled. I attempted to return the smile, but imagined the panic I was feeling made it look more like a grimace and turned my attention back to the window. He parked the car by Chelsea’s building. We got out and started following Chelsea and Derek up to the apartment. Jason reached for my hand and held me back.
“You were deep in thought back there,” he commented.
“Tonight stirred up some bad memories.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Actually you make me feel better. You’re a good friend.” I said, squeezing his hand. He pulled me closer to him and moved us so my back was pressing against his car. His lips were on mine and I froze. Moving my hands up to his chest I pushed him away.
“I can’t do this. I’ve had enough fun for the night.”
He leaned down to kiss me again.
“Jason, I said no!” I pushed harder this time and he finally backed off.
“Damn it Natalie, will you just let me in?” He looked at me with pleading eyes.
“I wish I could.” I turned and walked away. Seconds later the car door slammed and Jason peeled out of the parking lot.
I ran up to the apartment and threw myself onto the futon, letting the angry tears fall. God, I was such a fucking train wreck! No home, unable to forge a healthy relationship and no fucking clue what to do with my life. I certainly couldn’t stay on Chelsea’s futon for eternity and I didn’t want to rent an apartment because I needed to be able to leave in a heartbeat. Plus, I was going to need an income soon. Running away didn’t solve my problems, sure the distance helped me breathe, but I couldn’t outrun my past. Chelsea was right. I needed to come to terms with what I’d been through, but how?
Chapter 9
The morning came, but sleep didn’t. Chelsea and Derek were moving around between the bedroom and the bathroom getting ready for their productive days. I was laying on my back staring at the blank T.V. screen. I had nothing to get up and get ready for.
Chelsea walked into the living room and stopped in her tracks when she saw me.
“Nat, what’s up?”
I shrugged my shoulders, my eyes never deviating from the screen.
“Uh unh, you are not blocking me out. One, I don’t deserve it and two, you can’t keep bottling this shit up.”
“I’m fine,” I muttered.
“No you’re not. What happened? You were in a great mood last night. I thought you and Jason were getting closer.”
I groaned and moved my gaze to meet Chelsea’s. “You’re right, everything was awesome and then that guy had to go and grab me, reminding me of –“
“Oh Nat! I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I have issues and need to work them out.”
Chelsea sat down on the edge of the cushion and leaned against me. “I can call out of work if you want me around?”
“No, you don’t have to. I’m going to find a job. I need to do something.”
“Have you thought about talking to someone?”
“Like a therapist?” Chelsea nodded. “No. I haven’t.”
“Maybe you should, it could help.”
“I’ll think about it. First I need to apologize to Jason. I freaked out on him last night.”
“You’re not thinking about getting involved with him are you?” she asked.
“No. You’re right, I’m not ready.”
Chelsea stood up and went into the kitchen and moments later, Derek came out of the bathroom.
“Jason didn’t spend the night?”
“Nope,” I said.
“Oh.” He shrugged and called out to Chelsea. “Babe, can you give me a ride?”
Chelsea agreed and after they left, I sat back on the futon to contemplate my day. My burning eyes begged for sleep and clarity wasn’t going to come easy in my exhausted state. Curling up in a ball, I snuggled under the blanket and dozed off.
Someone pounding on the front door woke me. I jumped up, disoriented and went to answer. A delivery man stood on the walkway out front with a huge bouquet of tulips.
“Natalie Ross?”
“Yes?”
“These are for you.”
I signed off on the flowers and went inside, locking the door behind me. I set the vase on the coffee table and grabbed the card.
Natalie,
I’m sorry for last night. I was disrespectful and a total tool. Can we still be friends?
Jason
Smiling, I grabbed my cell phone and called him.
“Did you get the flowers?”
“I did. They’re beautiful, thank you. I’m sorry too and I definitely still want to be friends.”
“Cool. I promise to behave.”
Someone knocked on the door again.
“Jason you didn’t send more flowers did you?”
“No. Why?”
“Someone’s at the door. Hold on.” Cradling the phone to my ear with my shoulder, I opened the door and looked up at a familiar face. “Oh, shit!”
Chapter 10
My cell phone went tumbling to the carpet and I could hear Jason faintly calling my name. The person bent down and picked up the phone, ending the call before handing it to me.
“Um, good morning, Agent Phillips.” I stared down at my toes avoiding eye contact.
“Good morning Miss Ross, may I come in?”
I silently moved aside and shut the door, but not before surveying the courtyard below.
“You are a difficult woman to track down. Good job.” He smiled at me.
“How did you find me?”
“Facebook. We were able to pinpoint the location of your IP address once you posted that message. When it came up in this area, it was easy to ascertain that you were living with your former roommate.”
“Why are you here?”
“Information. I think we can help each other.”
“I don’t need help.”
“Really? You know there is a rumor going around…one of our informants claims that there is a hit out on you. Apparently you killed one of Genovese’s men.”
Oh shit, oh shit! Biting my lower lip, I focused on staying calm and stared him straigh
t in the eye. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I thought so too, but you sure took off and went into hiding fairly quickly.”
“Dominic and I broke up. I needed a change of scenery.”
“No, you’re hiding out. You don’t have a job and you’re not on the lease here.”
“That’s because I’m not planning on staying. I’m thinking about going back to school.”
Agent Phillips smoothed out the lapel on his suit jacket and looked me over. His brown eyes were kind, but there was something calculating about his expression.
“If you give us some information we can offer you protection in return.”
“Whatever information you’re looking for, I really don’t think I can help you.”
He straightened up and clenched his jaw before he spoke. “We know what the Grabanos are involved in and you lived with one of them. Don’t be coy with me Miss Ross; I think you know a lot. This is your chance to clear your conscience and stop hiding.”
“And Witness Protection isn’t hiding? No thank you, I’m doing just fine on my own.”
“It’s just a matter of time before they track you down…if the rumor is true.” He raised his eyebrows and gave me a knowing look. I could feel the trembling in my core, threatening to rupture to the surface. I couldn’t let him see my fear, although my eyes had probably already betrayed me. He was right, if the FBI found me, it was just a matter of time. I couldn’t turn witness. If I did, I would be implicating my own brother and Dominic and myself. Yes, it was in self-defense that I killed that man, but I hadn’t come clean and had hidden the fact. I knew I would be considered just as guilty.
“Miss Ross, please.” His voice was softer. “I have your best interests in mind.”
“Don’t you mean your interests? I have nothing further to say. Thank you for your concern, but I’ll be okay.”
“Fine,” he lashed out. “But this is it. Don’t come begging for protection if things get scary and chances are they will.” He stalked to the door and slammed it closed behind him.
I rushed over and turned the deadbolt. The second it clicked, I collapsed. My legs were cold from sitting on the tile, but this was the least of my worries. Breathing was at the top of the list. I struggled to get my lungs to cooperate, but I could only suck in small pockets of air. My heartbeat echoed in my ears and spots floated before my eyes. The pounding in my head grew louder until I heard a muffled “Natalie!” from the other side of the door. The pounding wasn’t my pulse, it was Jason.
Crawling to the door took all my energy. I unlocked it and crumpled into a ball in the entry area. The door flung open and Jason pulled me to him.
“Breathe!” He ordered while massaging my back. Focusing on the repetitive motion I managed to inhale some deep breaths and this helped bring me back under control, somewhat. I was still shaking in seismic waves.
I don’t know how long it took to return to normal. Jason stayed on the floor with me. I leaned against him, letting him support the weight.
“Who was at the door?” he asked.
“Someone from Philadelphia who I wasn’t expecting, but he’s gone now.”
“He…was it your ex?”
“Noooo, nooo, noo, no.”
“Okay,” he squeezed me closer. “Who was it? Obviously it wasn’t a good visit.”
I didn’t answer him because I didn’t know what to say. “Jason, I really want to tell you, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”
I could feel his body tense up and knew he was getting angry. Turning around to face him, I wasn’t prepared to see the sadness in his eyes.
“Do you not trust me, is that it?”
“I trust you! “ I said, reaching for his hands. “Look, I did some stuff I’m not proud of and I don’t want you to get involved.”
“I’m already involved. Just tell me.”
I lowered my head and studied our hands. His were tan and freckles dusted the backs. Mine were pale in comparison.
“Here I was thinking you’re just a mysterious trust fund baby, but you’re definitely hiding from something. Did your ex beat you or something?”
“No! Dominic never laid a hand on me.” His uncle and Mr. Genovese did, but I couldn’t tell Jason that. “Trust fund baby, where did you get that idea?”
“You have a nice car, an endless stream of cash without a job and a lot of diamond jewelry. It seemed like a logical summation.”
“Oh.” I smiled and looked back up at him. “I’m not a trust fund baby; far from it, actually. My mom was a single mom and she raised me and my brother. We were far from rich.”
“Finally some history about you, tell me more.”
I hesitated and decided I could give Jason some details about my life, just leave out any of the criminal stuff. He sat in silence and absorbed every detail, like how I went to Chelsea’s house whenever I fought with my mom and that I ran track in high school. Even though I gave him the abridged version, I was still exhausted at the end.
“You still didn’t explain why I found you curled up on the floor.”
“That story will have to wait. I’m tired,” I whined, pouting my lower lip and batting my eyelashes at him.
“Oh no, you don’t! I’m not that easily distracted.”
“What?” I asked as innocently as possible, still batting my eyelashes.
“Look who is trying to blur the lines now. Just friends, remember?”
“Yes,” I said, laughing at him. Despite what he said, he was easily distracted.
“Are you feeling better?” I nodded. “Good. Let’s get off the floor.” Jason stood up first and helped me stand. He continued to hold my hand and it felt nice. It was hard to explain, but his very presence was calming to me.
“Jason, thank you. I am acting like a total nut job and you’re still here.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He kissed my forehead. “That’s what friends do. Now what do you say we get out of here and go do something?”
“Um, I can’t.”
“Do you have other plans?”
“I need to find a job. Your trust fund baby is running out of money.” I wasn’t going to run based on Agent Phillips warning. I was tired of running, but at least if I needed to, I’d have the funds available.
“Come work at Dirty. Callie is looking for a server.”
“Callie is the only owner, right?” It would be just my luck that a West Coast counterpart of Marco lurked behind the scenes.
“Yes I’ll call her and get an interview set up for you.”
Jason was a man of his word and two days later, I was sitting in Callie’s office at Dirty, which was furnished more like a home office with bookshelves covered in framed family pictures and the bulletin board behind Callie’s desk contained various art projects. She followed my gaze and swiveled in her chair, pointing to a drawing of a black cat I was admiring, especially the details of its gold green eyes.
“My daughter, Ally, loves to draw pictures of our cat, Sphinx.”
“How old is she?”
“Nine.”
“Wow, she’s good. I worked with some fourth graders one semester and half of them couldn’t color within the lines.”
“Jason mentioned you’re an artist and that you recently graduated. Why do you want to work in a bar?” Callie quickly brought the interview back on track. I liked that about her. She was direct, but not in a rude way. I knew that running the bar after losing her husband, while raising two kids couldn’t be easy, but she didn’t seem bitter about her circumstances and she had a warmth about her.
“Honestly, I need money. It’s more expensive out here and I’m staying longer than anticipated.”
“Are you just passing through, then?”
“I like it here and don’t have any reason to leave.” Not yet, anyway.
Callie shrugged. “People pass through all the time. It’s that kind of town so no big deal. I’d like at least a weeks-notice though.”
“Does that mean I got the job?”
She smiled, and her brown eyes lit up. “Yes, can you start tomorrow night?” I smiled in return, then stood and held out my hand.
“Yes, definitely yes!”
I walked out of the dim lighting of Dirty into the bright late afternoon sun. Squinting, I quickly surveyed the parking lot before crossing to my car. I had a job and Callie didn’t even inquire about my previous work experience. Even though I was prepared to answer as truthfully as possible, I was relieved the past wasn’t brought up.
As soon as I was back at Chelsea’s apartment, I called Jason. He answered after the first ring.
“So, how did it go?”
“I got it and start tomorrow night.”
“Awesome, I’m working then too. Let’s go out tonight and celebrate.”
“Okay, I’ll see what Chelsea and Derek are up to.”
Chelsea was more than eager to go out. As soon as she came home from work, we tore apart her closet for the right outfits. She decided on a champagne gold lace dress for me that had wide enough straps to cover the scar on my shoulder. It stopped mid-thigh and efforts to pull it closer to my knees were futile. Chelsea shook her head at me and adjusted the dress back to its intended length.
When I looked in the mirror, I had to approve of her choice. The color of the dress brought out the glow of my sun-kissed skin and accentuated the blonde highlights in my hair.
“Where are we going, anyway?” I asked Chelsea. From the moment I invited her and Derek out with us, she took over the planning and had yet to reveal what those plans entailed.
“We are going to this sweet place for dinner and then maybe drinks and some dancing.”
I instantly thought of how disastrous things turned out the last time we went dancing and started to protest.
“Don’t worry; we’re going somewhere more low key than Dirty.” Chelsea had her hand on my arm and looked me directly in the eyes. “Okay?” Nodding, I let out an exhale, not even realizing I had been holding my breath.
Derek and Jason arrived a few minutes later. Once again they were dressed nicely. Both had on black dress pants and long-sleeved dress shirts. Derek’s was green, like Chelsea’s top and Jason’s was navy. I noticed his gaze travel from my legs to my chest and he flashed his cocky grin when he saw I was watching him.
Clean Slate (New Mafia Trilogy #2) Page 5
