by Lori Foster
“Neither one of us knows a darn thing about babies.”
He shrugged with a nonchalance he didn’t necessarily feel. “I’m sure there are manuals. We’ll figure it out.”
“Thank you.” She licked the tip of her finger where some chocolate had melted from the cookie. “I guess maybe that’s what I wanted you to say . . . maybe that’s why I drove all the way here. So you could help me. I’m sorry, that’s selfish of me.”
Travis reached over and took her small hand in his. “Hey. You’re my family. Do you understand that?”
He meant that from the depths of his heart.
Sara burst into tears again. She couldn’t help it. Travis was being so sweet. She didn’t deserve his kindness, not when she’d turned her back on him and Rabbit Hash, and had been so selfish. That he thought of her as family sent a surge of both relief and love through her. She wasn’t sure she could manage without knowing that Travis was still a part of her life.
“All right, now, it’s okay.” He rubbed her back gently.
“If you try to shove a cookie in my mouth, I’m going to be very upset.”
“Nah. But I will get you a tissue for that snotty nose of yours.”
As he walked out of the kitchen to the bathroom, Sara wondered why his use of the word brother had bothered her. It was a great thing for him to say, an indication he felt an incredibly strong bond with her, and it should have made her feel wonderful. Yet it had hit her ears wrong and she wasn’t sure why. Nor was she sure why she suddenly felt self-conscious about the mucus trailing out of her nose.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen her at her worst before.
When he came back with the box of tissues, she dabbed at her nose instead of giving a healthy blow. Then picking at her stretchy top, she sighed. She was a sweaty, snotty mess.
“What?”
“It’s hot in here.”
“No AC, sorry. But I have a pool out back. Want to go swimming?”
“It’s only the middle of May. Isn’t it too cold to go swimming?”
“You’re hot, you’re cold . . . there’s just no pleasing you,” he teased. “It’s damn near eighty out and you’re hot, so why not? I bet it would feel good, take some pressure off your back.”
“How did you know my back’s bothering me?”
“You’ve been kneading it the whole time you’ve been here.” He tapped his head. “No genius here.”
Floating weightless did seem appealing. “I don’t have a bathing suit.”
“Just wear your T-shirt and panties. Or I’ll give you some boxers. Don’t make it complicated, girl.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “Fine. I’ll take the boxers.” The thought of being just in her panties weirded her out, and she wasn’t sure why. “Are you going swimming, too, or will it just be me bobbing around in there looking like I swallowed a beach ball?”
“I’m going, too. I didn’t fill the thing with water to watch other people use it.”
Ten minutes later Sara gingerly sat down on the deck of Travis’s aboveground pool, using a hand to lower herself. She couldn’t believe she was actually going to get bigger than this. She already felt like she was waddling off balance all the time. As soon as her feet dipped into the chilly water, the baby gave a good healthy kick.
She dropped her hand to her stomach, amazed at she always was at the sensation of a life growing inside her.
Travis dropped beside her, glancing at her stomach. “Is the baby moving?”
“Yeah. You want to feel her?” Sara hadn’t let anyone else touch her stomach. Not that anyone had asked, besides kindly old ladies in grocery stores. But she wanted someone else to experience the awe she felt, someone like Travis, who mattered.
“Sure.” His big man hand hovered uncertainly over her belly, covered with one of his old T-shirts.
Sara pulled the fabric tighter so there were no lumps and took his hand and put it on the lower left side of her belly, where the baby was kicking or punching straight out. Travis’s hand jerked when he felt the movement.
“Holy crap, it moved.”
Laughing, Sara, put his hand back. “It is a she. And she moves all the time.”
Travis moved his hand around, the astonishment she frequently felt reflected on his face. “That’s amazing, Sara. There’s a little girl inside you. She’s going to be as beautiful as her mama.”
She shrugged. She wasn’t feeling very beautiful these days, inside or out.
“How far along are you?”
“Twenty-four weeks. I’m due September thirteenth.”
“So we have some time to get all the gear we need.”
Trust a man to call baby items “gear.” “Little bit of time. Long enough for me to be scared.” She gave a shaky laugh. “What if I can’t do it?”
“You’re going to be a wonderful mother. I don’t doubt that for a minute. You have a lot of love to give.”
With his hand still resting on her she voiced her fears for the flrst time out loud. “I don’t know how to be a parent. I didn’t have parents in the truest sense.”
“Me neither. But your heart will tell you what to do.” His flngers caressed back and forth on the cotton of his shirt she was wearing. “What are you going to name her?”
She took a deep breath, not sure how he would react. “I was thinking of naming her Casey. Casey Anne. If that’s okay with you.” Casey was Travis’s middle name. Anne was the name of the foster mother she’d had at seventeen, the only woman Sara felt had really cared about her in any way. Anne had done her best to undo some of the damage of her childhood, and Sara missed her terribly still. She could use Anne’s help right now.
But at least she had Travis.
He nodded. “I think that’s a fine name. And I’m honored.”
“Thanks.” Sara edged forward a little, letting her legs go deeper in the water. She was hot in the sun, and her forehead and upper lip were getting sweaty.
“Parker?”
“Huh?”
“You’re giving her your last name?”
“Yeah, I think so.” She didn’t know the bartender’s last name. If Evan Monroe was the father, well, she still couldn’t see using his name. This was her baby, her responsibility.
She tried to move forward again, wanting to get in the pool, but afraid if she launched herself off the deck, she’d drop like a ton of bricks in the water.
“You need some help?” Travis slipped into the water and moved in front of her, reaching toward her with his hands.
Feeling frustrated, Sara shook her head. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t be stupid,” he told her. “Your cheeks are red from the heat and you keep wiggling around, like you’re trying to flgure out how to get in, but you’re afraid to jump.”
Trust him to always know what she was thinking or feeling. “Fine. I feel like a whale. I don’t know how to move with this big body.”
“If I hear you talking fat one more time I will take you over my knee.” With a firm grip, he put his hands on her waist and lifted her gently into the water.
Sara laughed as the cool water lapped over her. “You wouldn’t spank a lady with a baby.”
“No, I guess I wouldn’t.”
Her laughter died out as she realized Travis hadn’t let go of her and there was a look in his eyes, something deep and intense that she didn’t understand. He was holding her like she weighed nothing as she bobbed a little in his old T-shirt and navy blue boxer shorts.
This was what Travis was to her—solid, strong, always there for her.
But there was something else, something she didn’t quite understand.
“So do you have feelings for this Evan guy? If the baby’s his do you think you two might work something out?”
Holding on to his shoulders, Sara shook her head. “No. He just reunited with an old girlfriend and they up and married.”
Which Sara should be more upset about, honestly, but here, back home, it didn’t seem to matter so much
.
Travis searched Sara’s face for signs of a broken heart, but she didn’t look overly upset. In fact, she looked like she was finally relaxing a little and losing some of the tension that had been on her face from the minute she’d stepped out of that car. “I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is. I’ve made some poor choices.”
“And the other guy?” He shouldn’t ask, it was none of his damn business, but he couldn’t help it. He was worried about her, and he’d admit it, jealous.
“Not even worth mentioning.” Sara let go of his shoulders and kicked off, going onto her back. “Ahh, this feels good.”
It was odd to see her body looking so different, her belly jutting out of the water. Sara had always been too thin, with dark circles under her eyes. She had been the kind of kid who looked like she’d flinch if you reached for her. It had brought out every protective instinct Travis had had. Now she looked rounder, softer, healthier. She had lost some of the artificial tan she’d been sporting the last time he’d seen her, and she looked oddly more peaceful, despite her current worries. Travis still wanted to protect her like he had all those years ago, but he also appreciated the woman she’d become.
Sara was much scrappier than she’d ever given herself credit for.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he told her.
“Me, too.”
She had closed her eyes as she floated, the receding sun reflecting off the water onto her.
“You should stay here,” he told her, blurting out what had been rolling around in his head before he lost the nerve to say something. “Even after the baby’s born. No matter what the DNA tests say. There are nursing schools here. Cost of living is so much cheaper here, and you can stay with me.” Feeling agitated, Travis pumped his fists in the water, making arches of liquid shoot up with a squirting sound. “It’s practical.”
Which was true. But practicality certainly wasn’t the only motivation behind his suggestion. He couldn’t stand the thought of Sara going back to North Carolina all alone, struggling to make ends meet and raising a baby by herself. Getting up at 2 A.M. with no one to help you night after night sounded really damn hard, and Travis didn’t want that for her. Plus he selfishly wanted her company. He wanted to see her smiling at him every day, and he wanted to hold her hand when she needed it.
“I definitely want to stay here until the baby’s born. After that, we’ll see. I have a few months to decide. It’s a big decision. I don’t know if I should take the baby away from Evan if he is the father.”
Travis hated the guy and he’d never even met him, just for the simple fact that he had slept with Sara and hadn’t wanted to date her. How could any guy have a crack at her and not want to slap a ring on her finger and make her his forever? Travis just didn’t get it.
“I understand.” Movement out of the corner of his eyes made Travis jerk forward in the water. “Sadie, no!”
His lab was poised on the edge of the deck ready to jump and as Sara’s eyes flew open, the dog launched herself into the air and crashed down into the water an inch from Sara.
“Holy crap, are you okay?” Travis jogged through the water as best as he could, hoping the mutt hadn’t actually landed on Sara.
She was sputtering and laughing, face soaked, hair soaked, T-shirt soaked. “I’m fine. And cool now.” Reaching over, she rubbed the dog’s head, who was paddling beside her. “Thanks, Sadie.”
Sara gave him a smile. “And thanks, Trav. It’s good to be home.”
If he had anything to say about it, she’d never be leaving again.
three
Sara looked around for a ladder to climb out of the pool and didn’t see one. “Uh . . . where is the ladder?” She wasn’t exactly known for her upper-body strength in the best of times and she was tired from the long drive.
But she was relaxed. It was amazing what two hours in Rabbit Hash or, more specifically, in Travis’s house, had done for her stress levels. She felt calm, like she could tackle her life. And she felt safe.
That didn’t mean that she could get herself out of this pool, though.
“There isn’t one. They’re overpriced.” Travis gave her a sheepish shrug. “I just, you know, jump out.”
“Well, maybe you and Sadie can do that, but I can’t.” That was not going to happen.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get you out.”
Sara put her hands on the deck and tried to pull herself up, but all she did was bump her belly against the wall.
“Wait for me.” Travis hopped out, water dripping down his face and over his muscular chest.
His very manly, attractive chest.
So shocked at the unexpected thought, Sara fell back into the water.
It must be the hormones and the lack of sex, because Travis had said he considered himself like a brother. If she was thinking any part of him was hot, then she was just a pervert. When he bent over to help her, she looked to the right, well aware how close her face was to his crotch in those soaking wet swim trunks. She did not want to see anything she shouldn’t.
He smelled like chlorine and his hands were cold when he reached down and gripped her under the shoulders. “Just relax and let me haul you up.”
Relax. She’d been doing such a good job of that.
Until his naked man chest with water droplets racing down its hard contours had suddenly leapt out of nowhere and smacked her sexual consciousness.
“Okay.” Sara closed her eyes as Travis lifted her out of the pool and set her down. She wobbled a little but was on solid decking.
“Sara Parker, is that you?” a woman’s voice called from her left.
Sara almost fell back into the water, but she managed to hold on to her balance with Travis’s help. She stood on the deck, peering past him. It was Amber Wynstock, a classmate from high school, and one of the few people who had actually been reasonably kind to Sara growing up.
“Hey, Amber, how are you?”
“I’m great.” Amber beamed up at her, standing next to the pool, a pie in her hands. “How are you? My goodness, are you pregnant? Congratulations!”
“Thanks.” Sara dredged up a smile. “It’s a girl.”
“That’s wonderful. So what brings you to town? Getting your visiting in before you can’t travel anymore?”
“Yep, that’s right.” The manners her foster mother, Anne, had taught her kicked in. “We’re getting down off this deck. Why don’t you come on inside and have some lemonade and we can catch up?” They hadn’t exactly been friends, but when other girls had mocked Sara for her ill-fitting clothes or for her dirty hair when there had been no running water to wash it when they were in middle school, Amber hadn’t participated. In fact, a time or two, she’d even shared her lunch or her makeup with Sara. In high school, she had always offered a smile and a hello.
Amber looked the same, just as cheerful and friendly as she always had, a pretty woman with light brown hair and sparkling blue eyes.
It wasn’t until they stepped down off the deck and Amber handed Travis the pie with an extra sparkle in her eye that Sara thought to wonder what the hell she was doing there in the flrst place. With baked goods, no less.
“Thanks, Amber,” he said with a return smile. “You know I have a thing for your pies.”
Sara tried not to frown. That sounded like a double entendre to her.
It was starting to occur to her—and really irritate her—that Travis and Amber Wynstock might be dating.
Aware that she was dripping water from her plastered hair, and that Travis’s boxers were sagging off her butt, yet clinging to her thighs, Sara tried to maintain her smile. “So what are you up to these days, Amber?” She almost asked her if she was married, but that would only mean Amber would immediately ask her the same question in return, and she didn’t really want to explain the single parenthood, lack of definitive father situation.
“I teach English at the high school. Freshmen mostly. I enjoy it.”
“That’s great. So y
ou and Travis work together then.” Maybe this was a co-worker pie delivery.
“Yes. We’re weren’t sure if dating was such a wise idea, given that very fact, but so far it’s managed to work out all right.”
Amber smiled and Sara suddenly felt the urge to hate her.
Until she added, “Gosh, you just look fantastic, Sara. You really do have that glow. I think mommyhood agrees with you.”
Her voice was so sincere and genuine that there was no way Sara could find it in her to despise Amber. She truly was just a decent person, and frankly, the kind of woman Travis deserved. As they crossed the lawn to the back door and headed into the kitchen, Sara fought a contradictory swirl of emotions. She should be happy for Travis. Instead, she was suddenly feeling depressed. Jealous.
“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you to say. I feel good, though I’m constantly bouncing off of my car door and the shower wall. Can’t get used to this belly.” Sara rested her hand on that bump, to reassure herself, of what, she wasn’t sure.
Maybe it was just that in a way, she had always felt like Travis belonged to her. Not romantically but just as Travis and Sara. That he would always be there for her.
That she wouldn’t have to share him.
Which was ridiculous. Of course at some point Travis was going to fall in love, get married, have children.
But the thought was like a fist around her windpipe. She couldn’t breathe.
The warm kitchen felt even warmer and spots swam in front of her eyes. Grappling for the back of the chair at the table, Sara tried to suck air in and out, the hot nausea rushing up her throat.
“Are you okay?” Travis asked her.
She tried to nod, but the motion made her dizzy.
“Here, sit down.” His hands were on her, guiding her down into a chair. “You need some water.”
Sara sank gratefully into the chair, her legs wobbly. She was burning up hot, yet the wet clothes made her shiver.
“Oh, your nose is bleeding,” Amber said in concern.
“Huh?” Reaching up, she swiped at her nostrils and her fingers came away covered with a bright smear of blood. “Oh.”
