I was unsure to begin with but he kept pressing the point that an actor needs to be totally uninhibited in order to be any good and after a few lessons, where I was painfully wooden and unable to commit to a line, let alone a whole scene, I could see his point.
If I could only get over the fear of making a fool of myself in front of my fellow acting students, (I didn’t even want to think about the play we’d be putting on at the end of the course yet, because every time I did, I had flashbacks to my stint with comedy and freezing on stage) but if I could overcome my inhibitions, then I was hopeful that it would help me to feel okay just being myself around the press.
The only downside was that although this was just an evening class, in week three one of the students recognised me and since then, everyone was treating me differently and asking about how Will would do this scene or that scene.
“How’d it go?” Will asked as I came in.
I sighed and threw myself down on the sofa next to him. “I think I have to find a new class.”
“I’m so sorry, darling.” He reached for my legs and pulled them onto his lap. I hate foot rubs but Will liked to do this thing where he trailed his fingers over my calves and shins, drawing invisible patterns on my skin, which was deliciously relaxing, so I laid back to better enjoy it.
“It’s not your fault,” I assured him. “I think they start a new class in the autumn, I’ll sign up for that.”
“Maybe you could have one on one lessons? I’m owed some favours.”
“Thank you,” I reached for his hand. “But don’t waste a favour on me.”
“You’re worth every favour I’m owed and more,” he assured me.
“That’s really sweet, but you’d probably get the best going and it’d be wasted on me.”
“Fine, I won’t press you.”
“Thank you, and believe me, I’m not giving up, I really do want to get over this.”
“I know. So, Chinese or Indian?”
“Indian.”
“The usual?” Will asked as he reached for his phone.
“Please.”
I hopped in the shower while we waited for the takeaway to be delivered and when I came out, Will was serving up.
“Are you coming to the rehearsal tomorrow?” he asked as we ate at the kitchen table.
“Are you done with the read through already?”
“Yeah, and some of the sets are finished, so you could get a first look at them for the comic book.”
“I’m in.” I couldn’t wait to see the sets.
“The car’s coming for us at 6am.”
“I’ll be ready. I’ll have a wander around the set on my own while you rehearse.”
***
It had been a ruse. We got to the studio in the morning and as I made my way to the set, Audrey Grant came and found me.
“Oh hey, you need to come with me.”
“What? Why?” I asked.
“It’s a surprise.”
I found myself being dragged into wardrobe and shoehorned into a black catsuit. Luckily no seams split but I had a nasty feeling that I knew what was going on.
“Come on.” Audrey grabbed my hand and dragged me back to the Shadow Watch HQ set.
“What are we doing?” I asked, trying to yank my arm free. “And why are you so freakishly strong?”
Assembled on the set was Will, in Dante costume but sans make-up, Chris Watson, Evan Wade, Robert Davis and Jackson Moore.
“There she is,” Will came up and dragged me into the centre of the room.
“What are we doing?” I whispered, literally feeling myself shut down.
“Acting, darling. You are about to receive a masterclass.”
“But… but…”
“But nothing,” Robert butted in. “We’ve got a handful of scenes for you to run through, you’ll be playing Audrey’s character, Miss Grey, and you can watch her run through everything a couple of times, then we push you in the deep end. Nice catsuit, by the way.”
“Here,” Will handed me two script pages. “Since they have a common enemy in this movie, Dante has agreed to help the Sentinels-”
“Uh, we agreed to let you help,” Robert corrected. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference between him and his character.
“-but needless to say, there’s a lot of confrontations in there.” Will finished explaining.
I was shaking. I couldn’t refuse because these people had all put themselves out for me but equally, I couldn’t act for toffee! I was going to make a massive fool of myself.
“Let’s start with some stage warm ups,” Will suggested. “This one is called Siren and it’s particularly good for stopping your words getting caught in your throat.”
“Sounds cool,” Robert said. “I haven’t done much theatre.”
“Nor me,” Chris added.
“Okay, form a circle.” Will literally had to push me into the circle. “Start by humming a little to warm the voice up, try smiling and frowning while doing it, see how that affects your voice. Keep your lips loose, just barely touching.
Everyone around me began to do it and after they all encouraged me to join in, I did. It was only humming, after all.
“Say cheese!” Chris told me, so I smiled while I hummed.
There was no coordination in the humming and with so many of us doing it, we sounded like a collection of angry bees.
We looked like idiots, grinning and pouting like fools, all while humming.
“There,” Will said to me after a few minutes. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“No,” I agreed.
“Good, now for stage two.”
Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.
“Now take a deep breath and softly say ‘ooh’, then move the sound upwards, as high as you can go, then down again.”
“So it’s a bit like a scale?” Audrey asked.
“Exactly, but without hitting individual notes. I’ll demonstrate, then we’ll all do it. And don’t forget to breathe deeply at the end of each scale and if you feel light headed, sit down.”
He looked and sounded like a demented owl but the exercise seemed simple enough.
“Okay, everyone ready?”
I just pretended the first time but I joined in the second. By the fourth some of us were laughing, by the eighth we were all laughing.
I felt like a prat but we all looked like idiots, so it was okay. By ten we were taking it seriously, and by 15, we were in control.
“How do you feel?” Will asked me.
“Weirdly relaxed.”
“Shared humiliation will do that,” he teased. “Now sit this one out and watch Audrey, Evan and Robert go at it.”
The scene was a confrontation between Miss Grey and The Captain over whether to accept Dante’s help, with Iceman sitting on the fence but sort of siding with Audrey. They ran through the scene twice, then Audrey said it was my turn.
They all knew their lines, of course, only I had to read them.
I was wooden as hell. Seriously, a chair could have done a better job than I did and the longer time went on, the more self-conscious I felt. These people were trying to help me and I was wasting their time.
I soon had the lines memorised and Audrey kept making suggestions, the others helped too but she was trying to get me into Miss Grey’s head.
An hour later and I was about ready to burst into tears.
“I have a suggestion,” Robert interrupted me, mid line. “I think we need something with more anger.” He handed me a scene, which I quickly scanned.
“Grey isn’t in this scene.” I was confused.
“It’s another scene I planned. You need to take Dante’s part with me,”
“You just watch for a few minutes while Chris, Rob and I run through it.” Will said.
I sat down and watched as Agent Iceman tried to goad Dante, with Agent Firebolt playing peacemaker. It was mostly Iceman, with a little Firebolt butting in how and then, and Dante seething until he snap
ped.
Then it was my turn and I replaced Will, playing Dante. Oh god!
“Poor little spy. My government betrayed me, my wife is dead, my old partner is more loved and my mommy died. Boo hoo!”
“Don’t speak of things you don’t understand,” I replied. Yep, I was still wooden.
We went over and over the same twenty or so lines, with little improvement on my part.
“Okay, we need more movement,” Robert said as we prepared to go again. “You know the lines now, right?” he asked me.
“Yeah.”
“Then put the pages down, it’ll free you up.”
Robert, no, Iceman began to stalk towards me this time, making me walk backwards in a circle so I didn’t knock into the set pieces.
“Poor little spy. My government betrayed me, my wife is dead, my old partner is more loved and my mommy died. Boo fucking hoo! You think your losses make you special. You think you have any right to expect our help?”
Robert held his hand out to stop Chris saying his line and continued to advance on me.
“You need to wake up, sweetie. You think you’re too special to do what we do? You think locking yourself up in an office is any way to live your life? You need a reality check, little illustrator! If you want to be worthy of that man over there, you need to stop hiding, you need to man up and fight for him!”
He was becoming angrier and angrier and I actually felt attacked. I could see Chris holding Will back, stopping him from intervening, but I was getting angry now too.
“You’re not some special flower who we all make allowances for!”
“Stop!” I put my hands on Robert’s chest and pushed him away. “Don’t talk about things you don’t understand!” It wasn’t the line, but it was close enough.
“There it is.” Robert said softly as he suddenly grinned. “What exactly don’t I understand?” he demanded, back in character. I was still angry though.
“You don’t know what it’s like to know that everything you took for granted was a lie, that the government you served loyally for years now wants you dead because you know inconvenient secrets, or to watch as your wife is gunned down because you couldn’t get to her fast enough!”
“Wa wa wa! Tell it to someone who cares. It doesn’t matter how shitty you had it, it doesn’t give you the right to become a bully, and take away the expensive suits, the cool hair, the air of mystery and that’s all you are, a bully.”
I roared and went to punch him, but Chris caught my fist, as scripted, and I realised that I actually would have hit him.
Then Will began clapping and everyone else soon joined in.
I had done it. I had acted, and without any inhibitions.
It felt pretty damn good, actually.
“Okay, let’s go again before we lose this,” Robert said.
We repeated the scene six more times, properly this time, without Robert’s additional personal taunts and with Firebolt’s scripted attempts at intervention, and I didn’t go back to my wooden acting of earlier.
“Thank you guys so much,” I said when we took a break.
“You sure you’re okay?” Robert asked me. “‘Cos you know I didn’t mean any of that stuff, right?”
“I know,” I smiled at him. “It was just what I needed. Thank you.” I hugged him.
I actually hugged Robert, and I didn’t even feel uncomfortable doing it!
Of course, one breakthrough does not an actor make, so after lunch, they had two more scenes lined up for me, and we had to repeat the first one I’d done such an awful job with from this morning.
I thought I did pretty well. I mean, it wasn’t Oscar worthy, I probably wasn’t even cheesy-TV-advert-worthy but being a good actor wasn’t the point. The point was to overcome my inhibitions and not feel self-conscious in public situations.
And I had done it. Me!
I was sure that one day wouldn’t be a cure all, I’d have to keep it up, but for the first time in perhaps my whole life, I didn’t worry about making a fool of myself, or what anyone thought of me.
It felt amazingly freeing.
I thanked them all profusely and felt insanely grateful for everything they’d done for me today. They all assured me it was nothing but I vowed to find a way to make it up to them.
“I think I’m going to go back to the night classes,” I told Will as we were driven home.
“Really? I thought they made you uncomfortable by asking about me.”
“They do,” I admitted. “But unless you’re planning on getting fat and ugly, I’ll have to get used to it, I suppose,” I teased. “Besides, now I’ve overcome my block, I need to keep it going.”
“So, are you considering a change of career?”
“No,” I laughed. “I still couldn’t handle all the waiting around you guys do. I really would get fat and ugly if I had all that waiting around.”
“Well, you might get fat, but you could never get ugly,” he assured me.
I shook my head. “You’re such a smooth bastard, Braxton. How can you say crap like that and actually sound sincere?”
“It’s all part of my charm,” he assured me. “Much like you can call me a bastard and make it sound like an admirable quality.”
***
Planning a secret wedding isn’t as easy as you might think. We made the booking under an assumed name but things like the wedding license (or Marriage Schedule in Scotland) had to have the correct name, obviously, and had to be collected in person and of course, we had to inform the registrar where to go to perform the marriage.
Lee contacted the wedding planners at the castle and forwarded them a comprehensive NDA (that’s a non–disclosure agreement to us mere mortals) whereby the hotel would be liable for thousands of pounds if they leaked any details of this event, the idea being that such a severe penalty would discourage it. I had no problem giving them an endorsement after the fact, I was sure having someone like Will as a client would be good for business, I just didn’t want our wedding in the pages of Hello or Heat Magazine.
Will had evidently developed a taste for tormenting me with offers for our wedding pictures though. ‘Hello Magazine offered 200 thousand’, ‘Vogue offered half a million’. ‘Marie Clare offered a million and to cure world hunger’,
Today the quip was, “Oh, by the way, Heat magazine have offered two million and to only tell the truth about us forevermore.”
“Yeah, yeah, very funny, Mr Braxton.” Trust me to marry a comedian. “Although that first part I could almost believe. Oh! We should invite Nicki to be my bridesmaid! The papers will love that, you including your mistress in my wedding party.”
“That rather negates the point of a secret wedding,” Will chuckled.
“Eh,” I answered. It might almost be worth it to see them scrambling for an incorrect headline.
We were fairly sure of our chances of being able to keep this a secret, our only weak spot was the licence. Unlike the venue, civil servants, couldn’t be made to sign NDAs and even if they could, who knew how many hands our application and licence would pass through? We had little choice but to leave it until the last minute and hope it remained confidential.
***
During a break in filming on Sentinels 3, we journeyed to Edinburgh to see Hannah and her family, and to have a tasting at the castle so we could decide on menus. It was also the first time the castle’s wedding planners would discover who we really were.
We took Hannah’s people carrier when we drove there, afraid that if someone saw Will’s Jaguar at or near the venue, they might put two and two together. The car was only about five years old, so we were hardly slumming it. Will was dressed in jeans, a hoodie, with a baseball cap over his dark hair extensions, and dark glasses. He looked like a gangster wannabe and as we got out of the car, I could see the two wedding coordinators, who were waiting by the entrance, share a questioning look.
I was dressed in jeans and a baseball cap too, but I looked slightly more salubrious than Will
did.
“Can I help you?” Siobhan asked as we approached the entrance. She was the person I’d had most dealings with so far.
“I’m Hannah Hodgeson,” I held my hand out to her. “We’ve spoken on the phone.”
“Right, of course, very pleased to meet you.” She hid her surprise over our appearance well and invited us into her office, which she shared with Christine, the other coordinator.
Once the door was closed, I came clean. “Before we begin, we have a confession to make. We’re not Bob and Hannah, that’s my sister and her husband’s names.”
Will pushed his hood back, removed his glasses and cap and ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t have the extensions braided at the moment so his hair brushed his shoulders.
“Oh my god, you’re-” Siobhan looked stunned.
“Will, and this is my lovely fiancée, Elle.” We both shook hands with them. “I apologise for the subterfuge, ladies, and the nondisclosure agreements, but we were really hoping to keep this wedding a secret for as long as possible. Preferably until we’re away on honeymoon.”
“Of course,” Christine recovered first. “We completely understand.”
Siobhan took a few moments to pick her jaw up off the floor, then stepped forward. “I’m so sorry. We should have realised something was off when we received the nondisclosure agreement with only the date of the event, not the names. We don’t get many NDAs here.”
The ladies then showed us around the castle, explaining the various layouts we could have, then we had a food tasting and went over details, such as security and when the final numbers had to be in. The venue was even nicer in reality than it looked on the website.
We had booked a two day wedding and arranged for our stag and hen parties to be the night before the wedding; the castle had a number of sizable rooms, so we could each have our own party. Neither of us intended to have a raucous night; no L-plates, strippers and getting blind drunk for me, I just wanted a nice evening with the people I care most about. Will intended much the same but I suspected that the men would be a little louder than we ladies were.
Making Love (Destiny Book 1) Page 20
