by Lucy Ryder
“You’ve had a week,” he pointed out curtly, studying her with narrow-eyed intensity. “And I’m here because you haven’t told me anything. How can you when you won’t answer my damn texts or return my calls.”
“I did call. I left a message.”
“That garbled confusion? It told me nothing, Dani, and it scared me more than if you’d just told me to get lost.”
“Is...is that what you thought?” Noisily, she expelled the breath she was holding. Bending, she scratched Polo’s ear—to soothe herself as much as the dog. Voice low, she said, “That’s not what this is about.”
His sigh had her straightening, facing him warily.
“Then why don’t you tell me what it is about?”
She opened her mouth to tell him but chickened out. “I’m...uh...how did you find me?”
One dark eyebrow rose mockingly up his forehead.
She sighed. “Maddie.”
“Don’t blame Maddie,” he said roughly. “She’s worried about you—everyone’s worried about you. Besides, I shouldn’t have had to hear about it from someone else.”
She froze. It?
His words sent a shudder of panic through her, because it appeared her nightmare was coming true. He...he knew? Knew and was furious?
Of course he’d be furious, she chided herself. After another woman had tried to trap him with an unplanned pregnancy how did she think he’d feel?
Heart pounding, she searched his expression for any hint of knowledge that she was pregnant but his face was unreadable, giving nothing away. For a moment she wished he’d remove his sunglasses but she was terrified of what she’d see if he did.
But...how could he know? She hadn’t told anyone. Not even her boss. The only reason Amy knew was because she’d insisted on Dani taking the test and seen her after the gyno appointment had confirmed it.
She felt her face drain of color and locked her shaking knees. “She t-told you?” she asked faintly, ignoring the odd searching look he sent her.
“Of course she told me. She’s worried—I’m worried.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Didn’t you think I’d want to know?” he demanded. “Didn’t you think I deserved to know?”
Her eyes widened. Panicked, she swallowed and took a hasty step backward, murmuring an absent apology when she bumped into Polo. “I...uh—”
He interrupted her with a rough laugh and spun away to thrust impatient hands through his tousled hair. “Yeah, I can see it didn’t even cross your mind.”
The muscle jumping in his tight jaw drew Dani’s fascinated gaze.
“For God’s sake, Dani,” he rasped. “What the hell’s the matter with you?”
Rattled, filled with guilt, she burst out with, “I’m s-sorry. I didn’t know, Dylan, I swear. I thought...”
Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked rapidly before they could fall and complete her humiliation.
“I thought—” She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to keep from falling apart. “I thought I c-couldn’t, you know... Well, the doctor said it was impossible... I just took his word for it and...well, after that first time we...you... Well, we didn’t. And...and then Amy insisted... And it was p-positive...which I didn’t believe...”
She was aware she was babbling incoherently but she couldn’t seem to stop. Her teeth had begun to chatter and she’d balled her hands into fists beneath her armpits.
“Because it was im-impossible, right?” She broke off to suck in a couple of shallow breaths, knowing she was hyperventilating. “B-besides, you know those th-things aren’t always reliable. Well, anyway, I made an...an appointment and... I’m sorry.”
Her voice cracked and she struggled for a moment to regain control of it.
“I didn’t tell you, Dylan, and I’m sorry. But I... I couldn’t... I just couldn’t. I know you’re angry but—”
The sob she’d been holding in burst out before she could push it back. Spinning away, she pressed the heels of her hands to her burning eyes. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her fall apart like this.
“You’re angry, and I don’t blame you... God, I’m sorry. But I couldn’t—” Overcome, she covered her face with her hands and struggled to get her emotions under control. “I couldn’t tell you,” she said, hoping she could make him understand. “I was in shock and I just... I just had to get away.”
For the next few moments the only sounds were her ragged breathing and the gentle shushing of the water as it ebbed and flowed against the sand. How could it be so peaceful when her life was falling apart?
Finally, she could stand the silence no longer. Shoving her hair off her hot face, she chanced a glance over her shoulder and saw that he was staring at her as though she’d babbled state secrets in a foreign language.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
He sounded so baffled that for a moment she could only stare at him, wondering if she’d crash-landed in an alternate universe. Okay, she thought, so maybe he doesn’t know. Maybe he’s talking about something else...
Licking her lips, she shifted her feet, nervously brushing at the sand clinging to her jeans. “What...what do you...um...think I’m talking about?” she asked casually.
For about five seconds he stared at her silently, before abruptly shaking his head as if to clear it. “Oh, no,” he muttered, yanking his sunglasses off and tossing them onto the sand. “No more evasions, dammit. No more evasions and no more lies. Just tell me the truth.”
Her heart jolted in her chest as her spine snapped straight. “I never lied to you.”
She’d kept things from him maybe, but she’d never lied.
His turbulent green eyes were laser-sharp and she wished for just an instant that they were still hidden behind those dark frames. They made her a little nervous, because he seemed to see right into her soul, to root out all her secrets, all her irrational fears and all her tentative dreams.
“Maybe not,” he conceded slowly, “but you haven’t been honest with me either. You’ve kept parts of yourself locked away. You’ve shared your body but not your mind—and certainly not your emotions.”
Her denial was swift and heated. “That’s not true. I—”
“Isn’t it?” he interrupted smoothly. “Isn’t that what you’re doing right now? Isn’t that what you’ve been doing the past ten days by disappearing without a word? By not returning my calls?”
Dani opened her mouth to hotly deny it, then snapped it shut. What could she say? He was right. She hadn’t shared herself with him when he’d been generous to a fault.
Blinking rapidly at the realization that she’d selfishly held herself back, Dani could only manage, “I—”
“What do I have to do to prove I’m not like your ex?”
Furious with herself—with him—Dani snapped out, “I never said you were!”
Realizing she was all but shouting, she inhaled to steady herself before lowering her voice.
“I never thought you were, Dylan. Not once.”
“Maybe,” he agreed wearily. “But you can’t deny you’ve been waiting for an opportunity to bolt, Dani. Waiting for me to turn into a lying, cheating bastard.”
The truth of it burned a path down her throat. “I’m not. I haven’t—”
“Haven’t you?” he challenged tiredly. “You think I don’t see it in your eyes sometimes? Like right now? For just an instant you freeze, and it’s like you’re bracing yourself for me to turn into some kind of monster who slaps women around.”
“I don’t think that, Dylan,” she assured him, her voice low, intense. “If I’m waiting...” She swallowed convulsively. “If I’ve been waiting, it’s for you to get tired of me.”
He blinked in surprise. “Tired? What do you mean, tired?”
“As in lose interest in me,” she snapped, rubbin
g her hands down her arms to ward off a chill that had nothing to do with the breeze that had kicked up. “Get bored. Move on. D-dump me.”
He stared at her as though she’d lost her mind, which she very likely had.
“Dump you? You think I’m dumping you?”
He shook his head as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. When she said nothing he inhaled, as if searching for patience.
“What is this really about, Dani? And don’t give me that garbage about waiting for me to get bored. If anything, I’ve been thinking—” He broke off. “Yeah, well, clearly I’ve been an idiot.”
“Dylan...?”
Ignoring her soft, hesitant query, he asked, “Did I really give you the impression that I was getting bored?”
When she said nothing, he sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face, as he sometimes did when he was frustrated. “Oh.” He gave a rusty laugh. “I get it. Guess I’m a little slow on the uptake, huh? Because I have to tell you I didn’t see this coming.”
“What—?”
“Is that what this is about?” he asked. “You’re telling me that you’re bored? With us? With me?”
She couldn’t prevent her shocked denial from emerging any more than he could prevent his shoulders hunching and another ragged laugh bursting out.
“Okay.” He sucked in air, let it out again. “Okay...” he said again, dropping his hands on her shoulders and tugging her closer. “So if you haven’t found someone else, and you aren’t dumping me...what’s really the problem?”
Tears filled her eyes and she dropped her forehead wearily against his chest, loving the scent of him, the heat of his body that seeped into hers. Inhaling it because it might be her last opportunity to do so.
She bit her lip and rolled her forehead in denial. If only she could just sink against him and let him take care of everything. She was so tired. Tired of being alone, of being strong and handling stuff alone because she didn’t want to worry the people who loved her.
Swallowing a sob, she pressed her face into his warm throat. “It...it wasn’t on purpose, Dylan,” she murmured tightly. “You have to believe me.”
He rubbed a couple of circles on her shoulders before wrapping his hand around her neck and nudging her chin up with his thumb. “What, babe?” he asked gently. “What wasn’t on purpose?”
Because she couldn’t bear to see those beautiful green eyes turn hard as emeralds she dropped her gaze to the soft cotton stretched across his heated flesh and absently realized that her fingers were wrapped tightly in the warm fabric, clinging.
Consciously relaxing, she smoothed out the wrinkles. His deep voice rumbled beneath her palms.
“Dani?”
Before she could chicken out she took a deep breath and got it out quickly, breathlessly. “I’m pregnant.”
For a couple dozen heartbeats there was absolutely no reaction except for a reflexive tightening of his fingers. Then he sucked in a harsh breath and, because she couldn’t stand not knowing, she quickly looked into his face. Then promptly wished she hadn’t.
Oh boy. He looked as though she’d punched him in the head.
Okay, not exactly the reaction she’d hoped to see but better than anger, right? Frazzled by his speechless shock, she shoved away from him and before he could recover filled the silence.
“Don’t worry,” she assured him quickly. “This is my problem and I’ll deal with it. There’s no need for you to concern yourself. I’ll... I’ll handle everything. We’ll be fine.”
When she paused to suck in a frantic breath, Dylan lifted a hand to silence her. “Hold on,” he ordered hoarsely. “Just hold the damn on. You’re not ill? You haven’t been diagnosed with cancer or...or something else?” He shook his head. “You’re...pregnant?”
“I...uh...yes,” she said baldly. “I’m p-pregnant.”
The hands he shoved through his hair shook. “You’re pregnant and you let me think you were...?” He broke off, swore. “You let me think you were ill and didn’t want to tell me?”
She was shocked at the harsh emotion in his voice. “I did not... I wouldn’t! I’m not sick!”
He swore again. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been going through? Thinking...thinking the worst, when all this time—?”
“I told you,” she babbled, horrified by what he’d been thinking. “I told you I was f-fine.”
“No, you told me ‘something came up,’” he snapped, storming away a short distance before rounding on her. “Something came up and you had some things to sort out and—Oh.” He staggered back a couple of steps, his gaze dropping to her still flat belly. His mouth fell open. He lifted dazed eyes. “You’re...pregnant?”
Her lips pressed together. “Yes. And, before you ask, it’s yours.”
He sent her a searing look. “Don’t insult me. Of course it’s mine. But—” His expression darkened with concern. “Are...are you sure? What about the Asherman’s? Are you okay? Maybe you should be resting?”
Tears filled her eyes and, misunderstanding, he grabbed her and jerked her into his arms.
“There’s something wrong, isn’t there?” he demanded shakily. “Please tell me there isn’t anything wrong with the baby. With you.”
She gave a ragged watery laugh and shook her head. “No,” she soothed, unconsciously stroking unsteady fingers over his pounding heart. “There’s nothing wrong. I’m fine and yes, I’m sure.”
She sucked in a wobbly breath, letting her tears dampen his throat as her heart beat in rhythm with his.
“I saw the scan. I have a picture. And Nicole Dawson sent me a video. It’s...amazing.” She sniffed inelegantly. “Anyway, she says the scarring must not have been as severe as Dr. Cartwright thought, or maybe I just healed better than expected.”
She exhaled shakily before sucking in another breath.
“I’m okay. Still in shock, I think. But I’ve been resting. And my mother’s enjoyed pampering me. Me and the baby, we’re both fine...or will be the further along we get. As long as I don’t overdo things.”
“It’s settled, then,” Dylan said, wrapping her close and pressing his lips to her temple. “After we’re married you can cut down on your hours or even stop working until after the baby is born. You can move in with me immediately and—What?”
Dani had stilled and was easing out of his arms. She backed off a couple of steps, more to resist temptation than to stop his words. “We’re not getting married, Dylan,” she said flatly, rubbing at the pinch in her chest. Pinch? Hell, it was like a mortal wound that bled at the expression on his face.
He was staring at her as though she’d pulled back and slugged him in the mouth. “Of course we’re getting married,” he countered. “As soon as we can arrange it—”
“No, we’re not,” she interrupted furiously. “I’ve been married. I’m already a statistic and I’m not going there again. Not just because I’m pregnant. Marriage should be for people who love each other—like my parents, your parents. Besides,” she continued frantically when his expression hardened, became blank, as though she’d hurt him somehow when that was impossible, “this isn’t the nineteenth century. A woman doesn’t have to get married anymore just because she’s pregnant. Don’t forget what you told me about that woman in West Africa. You wouldn’t marry Simone just because she was pregnant.”
“Forget Simone,” he growled, clearly furious that she was using his own words against him. “I wasn’t in love with her.”
She stilled, her gaze searching. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’m in love with you, dammit,” he snapped. “I’ve been in love with you for days...weeks...maybe from the first.”
Her eyes widened and she jerked back, a host of expressions tripping over each other as they crossed her face: shock, fear, hurt...denial.
“Yeah, I can see that thrills t
he hell out of you.” He spun away. “Surely you’re not surprised?” he demanded. “An intelligent woman like you? How could you not know when it’s been there every time I’ve looked at you? Every time I’ve touched you, kissed you? Every time we’ve made love?”
Her throat closed and it felt as if she was trying to push her words through jagged glass shards. “Don’t...” she gasped, pressing a tight fist against the pain in her chest. “Don’t you dare p-pretend something you don’t feel just because you think it’s...it’s what I want to hear. I’m not your responsibility, Dylan. Besides, it’s not like I’m expecting anything from you. I told you—I’ll handle it myself.”
He muttered a few choice curses. “I’ve just told you I’m in love with you and all you can say is you’re not my responsibility? Of course you are. You weren’t alone in that bed, Dani and I’ll be damned if you shut me out because you’re afraid of your emotions. Heck, look at you—you’re terrified of mine.”
“Don’t—don’t do this to me, Dylan, please,” she sobbed, swiping angrily at the tears that rolled down her cheeks. “I’m trying to be strong here because I can’t... I c-couldn’t...stand it if...if we got married and one day you m-met someone more suitable and...and then hated me.” She gulped and wrapped her arms protectively around her belly, where their child grew. “Hated us for being there, for standing in your way. You’d hate that, Dylan, and you’d hate me.”
Dylan rocked back on his heels, studying her as though he’d never seen her before. “You really have a low opinion of me, don’t you?”
Dani blinked. “What? No!” she denied hotly. “I think the world of you. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be in l—”
“Wouldn’t be what?” he demanded when she stopped abruptly and just stared at him, as though she’d admitted to a deadly sin. “Throwing my feelings in my face?”
“I—”
“Give me a chance, Dani,” he urged quietly, stepping closer to brush a tangled curl off her forehead with gentle fingers. “I’ve showed you in a thousand ways just how much you suit me...how much we suit each other.”
Dani couldn’t resist turning her face into his caress, stepping into his big hard body. “I... I’m scared,” she admitted in a quiet rush. “I’m scared I’ll disappoint you. I couldn’t bear that.”
