by Robin Roseau
"Are you sick, Honey?"
"No. But I was talking to one. It was about the weirdest conversation I've ever had, but in the middle, she suggested you might be sick."
"Oh, Honey, I'm perfectly healthy. You know us. Oh, sure, there are days I think I might have to get serious about prune juice, but both your father and I are healthy as horses, for our age. And we're not exactly old."
"Mom, if you have cancer or something, you need to tell me."
"Andie! Did this alien say I have cancer? I don't. She's wrong."
I looked over at Jasmine. She nodded.
"Mom, they know stuff. And now I'm scared."
"Honey, I'm fine."
"I need to be sure. There's a car pulling into your driveway. They're going to drive you to the alien testing center, and they're going to do a medical exam on both of you. It only takes an hour, and it's a little weird, but if there's anything wrong at all, they'll find it. They give you a complete report and send one to your doctor. Even if you're mostly healthy, they'll find out if you have an ingrown toenail."
"I'm sure I can self-diagnose an ingrown toenail, Andromeda."
"Mom, this is a really hard job, and I can't do it if I'm worried about you. You'll be gone about two hours. Even if you aren't willing to do it for yourselves, please do this for me. Please."
"Honey, this isn't necessary."
Then I heard Jasmine's voice on the call. "Mrs. Hayes, my name is Jasmine Brighteyes. I am a Catseye and your daughter's new employer. Tell me, when was the last time you saw her cry?"
"The day she told me..."
"That she's gay?"
"Yes."
"She was a teenager?"
"Yes."
"She cried two nights ago when she came to me about this. And she's on the edge of tears now."
There was silence, then Mom said, "Do we need to bring anything?"
"You and your husband can walk out in whatever you're currently wearing and get in the car. You'll be home by bedtime."
Mom paused. "I'll talk to him."
"Both of you, Mom," I said. "You both have to go. Please."
"All right, Honey. He's here now. Do you want to talk to him?"
"For a minute, then you have to go. Promise me."
"We'll go, Honey. I'm sure we're fine."
"Thanks, Mom. I love you."
"I love you, too. Here's your father."
There was a pause, then, "Hello, Pumpkin. What's this about a doctor?"
"Mom will explain, Dad, and you're then going to do what you always do."
"Bitch for a few minutes while doing whatever she tells me."
"Yep. So, I've got a new job. Mom can tell you about it."
"That's fabulous, honey!"
We talked for a minute, and then he said, "I guess we're going somewhere. Your mother has my jacket."
"Thanks, Dad. I love you."
"I love you, too."
After that, I fretted for the next ninety minutes. Jasmine let me stay with her, even though I couldn't sit still or do anything useful. But then she took a call, speaking Catseye for only a half minute or so.
She turned to me, and I had my hand over my mouth.
"They're fine," she said.
I burst into tears. She pulled me into her tentacles. "They have the little things consistent with their age. Your mom has a touch of arthritis, but it's not bad. Your dad's broken leg healed well."
"What broken leg?"
"Oh, oh," she said.
"You're serious?"
"Yeah. Last year some time."
"They went skiing, and then I was tied up with an acquisition, and I didn't see them for a few months. God, they didn't tell me."
"Maybe they'll feel better if they don't know I did."
"Healthy?"
"Little aches and pains. Absolutely nothing you were afraid of. There is every indication they're going to live good, long lives. If your Dad doesn't run into a tree the next time they go skiing."
"Thank you, Jasmine," I said. "Thank you. Thank you."
"You're welcome, Andie."
Charges
Well, let me back up to the day after my evening with Sugilite. I was worried about my parents, but I managed to put it aside enough to do my job. After all, these women needed me.
I want to talk about a few of the events. Over the next weeks, I would help with a large number of challenges, but I'll only describe a couple.
First was Haruki and her two Greygreens. That event was back in the arena. It was actually rather funny, in a way, but you'll decide for yourself.
There was to be unarmed combat. I couldn't have told you who was more pleased by that. Haruki knew she was playing for points to be used in her first one-on-one challenge, and this did not count as her first of three -- or five, or whatever the final count would be.
The arena was set up quite simply. There was a cage at one end and an exit at the other. Haruki would begin in the cage, but it was timed to release her. On her release, she won if she escaped the arena, and that was worth points. She could also win points if she did anything that would score points in either taekwondo or jujutsu. That meant she could decide to run and hope she made it out, or she could engage in combat for points, or she could just use her combat skills while trying to escape.
If the males caught her, they could throw her back into the cage, and the timer reset.
For one of the males to win, he had to defeat the other male. Jasmine was going to make that portion a complete free-for-all fight, but Haruki asked them to be bound by the same rules she would follow. There was some back and forth, and eventually it was decided to use the rules from human mixed martial arts fights, but there would be no rounds and no breaks.
A male was beaten if he became unable to defend himself or if he submitted. A broken limb counted as a submission. That thought made me shudder, but who was I to talk? I'd been willing to fight with a broken cheek and two cracked ribs. Of course, I didn't know they were broken, but still...
There were only two other rules. The males were not allowed to fight in the area immediately around Haruki's cage, the exit, or a path between the two. They would need to take their combat to one side or the other. This gave Haruki a chance to run. On the other hand, a buzzer would sound when her cage was about to release her, and they could decide whether they wished to continue their fight or to pursue her. During our conference, both males promised a truce at the buzzer, but I wasn't sure if they'd keep it.
We gathered on the sand: Jasmine, the two Greygreens, Haruki, and me. We verified the rules and that Haruki's safety gear was operational. And then the three of them all bowed to each other. Haruki calmly walked to her cage and was soon floating in the middle, facing out to watch the competition. Jasmine and I moved into the stands, and I took control of the cameras.
"Begin!" Jasmine called.
The males went at it. If you were into that sort of thing, I imagined they were quite impressive.
There was a lot of posturing, a lot of kicking, a lot of punching, a lot of ducking and weaving and blocking.
And then Haruki's cage buzzed, and they immediately separated. They were not allowed in her runway until she exited the cage, but they were waiting for her. She grabbed the edge of the cage, watched them for a minute, then stepped out.
Then she walked towards them. They spread out, cutting her escape. I thought as she got close, they would swarm her. I thought she'd make a dash for it.
That's not what happened.
She stopped about six paces away, eyeing them both. Then she tucked her hands under her chin, bowed, and settled into a fighter's stance.
The two males glanced at each other. Then one stepped forward, bowed, and went into his own stance. The other backed away then moved closer to the exit, but only a half dozen steps.
Haruki charged the first male. There was a flurry of strikes and counterstrikes, and then the male went flying over her hip.
Oh, she was good, but perhaps he was limited by the rule s
et.
He hit the ground and then rolled away, coming to his feet. But then they bowed, and he backed away.
Haruki turned to the other, then the first took a new position another half dozen steps closer to the exit.
Haruki earned three points total before she was the one who landed on the ground, her opponent on top of her. Then a moment later he stood, pulling her with him, and the other male stepped forward. He grabbed her arm, and the two of them walked her to the cage, turned her around, and gently pushed her in.
"This is..."
"One of the best challenges we've ever run," Jasmine finished.
The challenge lasted a long time, longer than we expected, but we'd made room for it. Haruki was released every five minutes. She didn't score points with each release, but she built a healthy number, and the males were clearly growing tired faster than she was.
She almost escaped, near the end. The fight between the males had moved to the ground, one of them clearly in a dominant position. But then just before Haruki's cage began to buzz, the one on the bottom did some sort of reversal, and even I could tell he was attempting a submission hold of some sort. I couldn't have explained what. But then the buzzer sounded, and Haruki was free.
The one alien didn't want to give up his hold on the other, and that one was unable to extract himself. Perhaps the first didn't hear the buzzer. Perhaps he thought even letting Haruki earn points was okay if he won the competition.
Haruki took a look and then ran. She was halfway to freedom before the one either freed himself or convinced the other to release. They barely caught her, just barely caught her as she was dashing through the exit.
At that point, she fought and struggled, but they each grabbed an arm and half dragged her, struggling, back to the cage and pushed her in.
I zoomed in. She looked angry, but then she took a deep breath and went back to watching the males.
She would be released once more. We agreed that the solo winner had to return her to the cage one final time. The two males went after each other, they went after each other hard. There was grappling, and then a scream from one, and an arm hanging oddly.
"Halt!" Jasmine yelled, and the other stepped away from his fallen comrade. But then he nodded to Jasmine before kneeling down and going to the aid of his opponent. He held him as medical staff came swarming onto the arena grounds. The winner bowed once more to his opponent as he was carted away.
"He'll be fine," Jasmine said. "In a few days." Then she projected her voice and spoke in Japanese. Both the remaining competitors bowed to us. And then Haruki's cage began to buzz.
The winner ran into position. Haruki stepped from the cell, approached, and bowed.
They had a great fight. Haruki got the first point and made a run for the exit. Her opponent jumped to his feet, overtook her, and cut her off. He got the next point, but she rose to her feet and didn't let him drag her back to the cell. Haruki got one more, but after that he was able to push her back until finally he threw her to the ground and settled on top of her. A few seconds later, she tapped his arm. He stood, pulled her up, and she let him pick her up and carry her to the cage.
Event over.
* * * *
I managed to arrange practice time for Julie. Hers wasn't the only challenge requiring a similar arena configuration, so I begged with Jasmine. And so it was late on the second day that I gathered with six women that would have similar, but not necessarily identical events. I told them to wander the arena for a few minutes, but then we collected near the front of the cage. They all eyed it.
"I cannot believe they make us do this," said a woman in an enchanting French accent.
"I understand," I said. "But you know what? This kind of looks like fun at the same time."
"You are American. You have a love of guns."
"Give her a break," said another woman. She was British. "Unless you would prefer that fight we all saw."
"Well, we have an hour," I said. "We've got enough guns for everyone to have one. Your name is on your gun, as you don't all get the same kind in your challenges. And the targets and goal may not match this setup exactly. But if you can shoot a round target, you can shoot a square one, right?"
I passed out guns -- and there was one for me. Then I said, "The blue targets are just targets, so if we want to just do target practice, you can shoot at those. But if we want to see what the event looks like, we have the other targets."
"I want to see the entire event," said the woman from Britain. "But target practice is a good start."
"All right. They're going to disable the other targets, and we can shoot the blue ones. I recommend you move around and try from different angles. Standing, sitting, hiding behind one of the obstacles, maybe even falling on your butt. I don't know. But let's use fifteen minutes that way, then we can do some competitions."
The gun was actually kind of fun, and all of us spent time shooting at the targets. "Who is listening?" I asked out loud.
"It's just me in the control room," said Dark Skies. "But there might be one or two watching the video. Not that there's a certain Catseye watching you or anything. And if you look in the stands, you might see some familiar faces."
"Jasmine Brighteyes, are you being a voyeur again?"
"I should have made you do this in your undies," said Jasmine. "But we don't have any that would record a laser hit."
"You could join us. We could use a moving target."
"As delightful as that sounds, I'm working and must pass."
"It would be really good for morale."
"And yet, I am in Control Room 4 coordinating two other events, Andie."
"Oh. I'm sorry. Well, if you finish, come on down. I'll let you shoot me."
"I'll keep that in mind."
But then I scanned the stands, and Dark Skies was right. There were familiar faces. "Hey, can you patch me into Cherish and Soft Rain?"
"They're already listening."
"You two. Come play with us. Get suits and bring the other Wookie." And then I saw Sugilite. "Is the Kitsune listening?"
"Not on this channel," Dark Skies said.
I saw Soft Rain turn to Thick Fog. And then they got up, collected a reluctant Cherish, which amused me deeply, and disappeared into the stands.
"Excellent," I said. I moved to the edge of the arena where I could barely see Sugilite. I bowed to her. "Come on down, Kitsune!"
"You'll shoot me," she said.
"You and me," I said. "Right down here. If you win, I'll let you pat my bottom."
"And if you were to win, as unlikely as that is?"
"You agree to be target practice and run around, letting the rest of them try to shoot you."
She squeaked several times. "I think I shall stay here, but maybe next time."
"So I should make a similar offer another time?"
Sugilite leaned forward. "Sure. But if I win, you are my third for two weeks."
"That's too steep," I said. "One night, but you know that means you can't ask me about Charo again."
"Ask again sometime," she said. "Or perhaps I'll ask you. I believe your charges require your attention."
I turned around. Cherish and the two Wookies had just entered the arena. They were in their own battle suits and holding laser rifles. The human women were eyeing them cautiously. I looked over my shoulder, "Next time, Sugilite."
"I look forward to it."
I took off running, coming to a stop between the two groups. I turned to the humans. "These are three of my friends. They are very good people. They're here to help us." Then I gestured the aliens forward. The humans looked dubious about the arrangement, but they allowed me to perform introductions.
"They want to see this event," I said to the aliens. "And they need target practice on moving targets. I bet you three are faster than a human. Are you willing to let them shoot you?"
"I'm willing to shoot them," Cherish said. "I came down to see if you wanted a little mini event with me."
&nbs
p; "And because Soft Rain was about to carry you over her shoulder if you didn't."
She snorted. "And that."
"You made friends with the aliens?" ask the Dutch woman.
"These are good people," I said. "The Wookies helped me with the Implac, and Cherish is amazing."
"The Wookies are helpful," said Soft Rain, "But Cherish is amazing." Then she lifted her gun and shot me in the leg.
"Hey!" I said as the battle suit stiffened. "That's not funny!"
She said something in Wookie howls, and then both of them shot me in the same leg. That finished stiffening the suit, and I fell over.
"Not funny!" I began firing back at them. "Get 'em!"
It turned into a free-for-all in seconds, with all the humans shooting at the aliens, the aliens diving behind obstacles and shooting back, the humans diving behind their own obstacles, and then someone -- I think it was Cherish -- began plinking at me, stiffening my entire suit.
"Not fair!" I said. "Not fair!"
Dark Skies began laughing, and then I heard Jasmine, too.
It was perhaps a minute later before everything grew quiet.
"Did anyone hit the Wookies even once?"
"Everyone got hit multiple times," Dark Skies said. "I can't stop laughing."
"So if you release my suit, they're all incapacitated, and I can make a run for it?"
"You can try," she said. My suit relaxed. I carefully checked motion, trying not to be obvious. Then I stood and tried to run.
I got hit from about seven directions, all at once, and made it all of five feet before I landed in the dirt again.
"Ooff. Okay, not funny."
Dark Skies was laughing her head off again.
Then Jasmine's voice rang out, "Only half of the contestants are fully disabled. There is a significant privilege for the last human still firing, and for two evenings, Andromeda belongs to the alien who throws her into the cage."
"Protect me!" I yelled out. "Wait for them to break cover, then nail 'em!"
It took Cherish and the Wookies, moving slowly, to take out the remaining humans. Ironically, the woman from The Netherlands was the last holdout. She got a good defensive position and held them pinned down for a long time, scoring points, but unable to fully disable any of them. But they finally got her. Then the three of them went after each other.
