by Robin Roseau
"Right."
"If humans weren't so populous, and so many of you xenophobic, we would live among you. But we don't think that's going to be safe for a long time."
"That's probably true, and even if you could, you're trying to fix the population problem here, not add to it."
"Right. So we have choices. We can just stay on the space station. There's some room there yet, and we could expand for a while. But it's not unlimited, and it's not what I want to do."
"So those are choices one and two, but they are problematic."
"Right. The next easiest choice is to build on Mars."
"All right. But you don't want to do that, either. Why not?"
"We could build a dome city. But Mars represents the next big step for humanity. We don't want to steal that step. So we can't do too much with it. We can't build too much, and we certainly can't move it closer to the sun to warm it up or do anything to add an atmosphere."
"So it's a choice, but you can't build a thriving colony."
"It's not a bad choice, but I'm thinking bigger."
"A lot bigger."
"Yes, a lot bigger."
"How much bigger?"
"I want to add a planet in Earth's L5 point."
"An entire planet. Not a space station, but a planet. That seems hard to believe."
"It's complicated. I'd have to build it."
"You're going to build a planet. You won't try to move Mars there. You'll build a planet."
"I could build a planetoid. I could move a number of asteroids there. It wouldn't need to be the size of even the moon. I could heat it, and gravitational attraction would pull it together. Put a spin on it then heat it more. Then a little explosion in the middle will blow it out into a hollow sphere."
"How big a sphere?"
"Earth-sized, but nowhere near as massive."
"You're going to make a hollow planet."
"It's advanced. It's only been done a few times that we know of. But people would live on the inside. It would still spin."
"Like the space station."
"Right, only it would be enormous with even more land mass than Earth. Or I could make it smaller. That would work, too."
"So you're basically going to move asteroids, a great many asteroids, into a shared orbit with Earth. Won't that disturb Earth's orbit?"
"It's complicated," she said.
"And you sort of fly them there like a space ship."
"Actually, because of the mass involved, we'd use gravity slingshots for a lot of it. We'd fly them past earth."
"That sounds like something you would need permission to do."
She squeaked. "Oh, yes. The council told me flat out I need United Nations permission."
I grew still. "I think I understand. So that's what you're working on. What we'd work on together."
"I'm still doing some of the engineering, and trying to convince the human space agencies it's safe. If I can't convince them, I'm not going to convince the United Nations."
"Is it safe?"
"Of course. We would be exceedingly careful."
* * * *
I thought about it for two days, and it was over dinner that night that I asked her, "What will you do if you decide humans will never let you build your hollow planet in our orbit? Will you build a city on Mars?"
"That decision is years away," Charo replied. "I haven't worked out enough of the details to have a full plan. Most of this is theory. The teams from NASA are skeptical."
"Hypothetically speaking. Ten years from now. You have your perfect plan. And you can't convince anyone at NASA to let you do it."
"I'm sure I can convince them."
"Hypothetically speaking. I want to know what your backup plan is. Do you build on Mars? Do you give up? Do you make another space station instead? What do you do?"
"This is years away, Andromeda," she insisted.
"Years? How many?"
"I'm not sure exactly."
"A decade? Five decades?"
"Certainly not five," she said.
"If the United Nations walked through that door," I said, pointing, "right now and told you, 'There is no way we're ever going to let you do this', what would you do?"
"I don't understand why you're being so defeatist."
"Do you have a backup plan? Will you give up and pursue another venture? Will you put a city on Mars? What?"
"I have a backup plan," she said.
"I want to know what it is."
"Why are you so upset, Andromeda?"
"Charoite, you said you want a life with me. And you want me to work on this with you. You don't seem to want to really share the plan with me, so I presume you want me to clean wastebaskets and keep the supply cabinet filled."
She stared for a moment. "This is years away, Andromeda."
"What is your backup plan, Charo?"
She looked away. "There are other star systems."
We both grew still, then I asked, "Hypothetically speaking, ten years from now, fifteen years from now. The UN won't let you do it. You give up on your new planet. You start looking at these other star systems. Would you do it all from here?"
"Well, I wouldn't go looking myself. But once we picked one, we would go together."
"And does my opinion matter?"
"Of course it matters." But she wouldn't look at me. "This is years away, Andromeda." At that she turned back to me, but she didn't meet my eyes. "Years."
"So instead of next week, it will be years that you take me from Earth forever. You'll take me from my parents, from my planet, from almost every other human."
"There would be humans."
"How about human children? Or are we talking a few dozen mating candidates, all of us altered to carry children that aren't at all human?"
She didn't answer that, either. Instead she said, "I'm sure I can convince the teams at NASA."
I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. "You're just like Harp and Jaguar," I said, barely above a whisper. "They wanted to take me away from my parents, and you do, too."
"No, Andromeda! We'll be closer. We'll only be an Earth orbit away."
I stood up. "Charoite, you should start working on your backup plan. Maybe you can convince the engineers at NASA this is safe. But you want to throw rocks, a kilometer across, ten kilometers across, at Earth. We all know what killed our dinosaurs, and we have a pretty darned good idea what would happen if one of your rocks got away. Furthermore, your answer to 'what will that do to our orbit' was 'it's complicated'. Which means you don't fully know. Maybe you can work it out, but the average human is never going to understand. All they're going to understand is you want to throw rocks at us, and if just one of them gets away, you'll murder seven billion people."
I pushed away from the table and turned to retrieve my visor. I slipped it on. When I turned, Charoite was at the door, blocking it.
"I wouldn't!" she said. "It's safe!"
"Here's something humans know. If there's a chance for something to go wrong, and you do it enough times, eventually the law of averages will catch up to you. Charoite, there is absolutely no way the United Nations is ever going to give approval for this. Most of them would never understand the science involved. And they could never convince more than a small percentage of the people in their countries it's safe. You want to throw rocks at Earth. Not rocks. Mountains. Mountains bigger than Mount Everest. And someone will get on television and talk about how each one that passes us will change our orbit."
"It's tiny! Immeasurable!"
"Tiny after tiny after tiny adds up to more than tiny. Maybe you could convince individual people it's safe, but you aren't going to convince humans at large. All you're going to do is fuel every single alien conspiracy theory ever devised. You will set back any hopes of ever convincing humans you aren't a threat. It would take decades and decades to undo the damage that could be caused if humanity at large ever hears about this."
"Please, Andromeda, you're blowing this out of
proportion."
"You have choices. You will not be able to convince me that you can convince humanity. It is unlikely you can convince me we won't go absolutely ape shit crazy. I think of the two of us in this room, one of us is far more likely to understand how the average human will react than the other. So you have choices. You can continue to pursue this. You will fail, and you can move to your backup plan."
"You aren't giving me a chance."
"What percentage of humans will be able to understand the math, Charo? It certainly isn't half. Ten percent? One percent? None at all, because this is just too advanced for us? It isn't a question as to whether you can throw those rocks and just miss. It's a question of whether you can convince us. But you don't believe me. Fine. Go talk to someone else about it. Ask Jasmine what she thinks. Ask her if she thinks humans will go insane. Because they will. I promise you, they will go absolutely insane."
"Andromeda."
"Like I said. You have choices. You can decide I don't know what I'm talking about, and you can spend the next ten or twenty years trying to convince humans to let you do this. I think once word gets out what you want to do, you'll set back every other effort the rest of the ETs are pursuing, and if anyone asks me, that's what I'm going to say."
"You would undermine me?"
"Do you want me to shut up if I think you're making about the biggest mistake imaginable? Do you want humans to rise up and kill every alien they can see? Do you have any idea of the level of ignorance on my planet, and those ignorant people all have guns. Do you want the testing centers stormed by crowds of frightened humans, killing every alien there? Do you want some lone gunman watching for Amaryllis outside the UN? Hell, I'm surprised that hasn't already happened."
"We catch them."
"Law of averages," I said. "If you do it enough times, something goes wrong."
"Andromeda, please, we can talk about this."
"You have choices. Continue to pursue this. When you finally realize it won't work, pursue your backup. I've told you what I believe will happen. And I'll be telling Jasmine Brighteyes as well."
"No!" she said. "You're going to stir up trouble."
"If you want me in your life, you will look for a new vocation. I might be willing to continue this relationship while you come to the same conclusion I have, if you promise you will never take me away from Earth. But if your backup plan is another star system, and I don't get a vote, well, I'm voting today. I'm not going. Now get out of my way. Come see me if you're willing to promise you'll never try to take me that far from Earth."
She stared hard at me, never saying a word. Then she stepped aside.
She left two days later. She didn't come to see me.
* * * *
"Just let me go, Jasmine."
"I'm sorry, Andromeda. I can't. There's too much at stake. If I let you go, then I prove right everyone who wants to go back to the old way."
More Introductions
I did what I'd done to get over breakups in the past. I focused on my job. I hyper-focused on my job. I met with the women. I did interviews for their reality television. I coached them for their events. I ran my events. I took more work from Clover so she could spend more time with Peony.
I came to an agreement with Bay. If I ever ended up in another challenge, I didn't want him anywhere near it. But I could work with him. He began teaching me everything he could. I studied. I learned. Late at night, when no one else was around, I set up the arena then moved to the control center and practiced simulated events, becoming more and more capable as a technician.
I created a few unique events, then I asked Dilly and Piper if they would be my guinea pigs. They had a blast then asked if I could come up with something with the two of them against their husbands.
The women won, but the event coordinator may have cheated a little to make sure. No, she wouldn't have, would she?
I avoided Jasmine for a couple of weeks, but then one morning she was waiting to swim with me. I stopped and stared at her for a moment, then opened my arms for a hug.
Afterwards I said, "You're going to make me start dating again, aren't you?"
"Unless you can pick someone right now."
* * * *
I looked at the Hobble. "I am Andromeda Hayes."
"I am Fjord Green," she replied.
"Call me Andie," I said. "Do I use both names?"
"Call me Fjord." She stepped back and looked me up and down, encased in the clear pillar. "Why does Jasmine Brighteyes treat you differently?"
"I'm older and no one wants me. I think she's showcasing me out of sympathy."
"You are one of the most famous mating candidates ever," she said. "Everyone here knows who you are."
"And yet, you're the one who decided to talk to me, Fjord." I smiled. "I don't know if that makes you brave or foolish."
"Perhaps curious. If I let you out, will you let me touch them?" I could see where she was looking.
"Why are all of you so fascinated by a human woman's breasts?"
"They look... squishable."
"Well, they don't like being squished, but they like other things. Is that all you want? To try squishing them?"
"Not necessarily," she said slowly.
"And tell me, do you have places that like being squished, or perhaps other things?"
"Perhaps other things."
"Maybe you should let me out and take me somewhere private. I don't like squishing with an audience."
She looked me up and down once more then released me. Without a backwards glance, I offered her my arm. Let someone else worry about the diplomacy in the room for one night.
She took me to her apartment. And while she really liked the idea of squishing, she decided other touches were just as lovely, and she showed me how she liked to be touched.
And then, several hours later, I let myself out. Three days later, Jasmine told me she and Sue Peterson came to an agreement, and they were both gone.
* * * *
"There's someone I want you to meet."
"All right."
"In the arena."
I turned to fully face her. "What species?"
"Luxan."
"Female?"
"Of course."
"I'm not changing into a battle suit and going out in the hot sun just so she can pick me up and throw me into a cage."
"She wants to win."
"Of course she wants to win. Does she know all she is winning is a date?"
"Yes."
"She could just ask for a date."
"And yet, she wants to meet you in the arena, and then take you on a date."
I sighed. "Fine. What's the event?"
"Laser tag."
"That's a lot of work to set up, Jasmine."
"It's already set up."
"Wait. She wants to do this now?"
"Thirty minutes."
"I have an event to run."
"I'll run it."
"And who is running my little encounter in the arena."
"If you can run three, I think I can do two."
"Fine." But I activated the visor, switched to the arena view, woke the cameras, and set them aloft. Then I reviewed the setup. "I don't like that configuration. I want changes." I looked around. "You left the construction crew there."
"I'm not stupid, Andromeda. Make your changes, but if I think you're giving yourself too large of an advantage, then I will be responding."
"Oh?"
"I'll let Bay run it."
"Damn it. Fine." Ten minutes later the arena was more to my liking. "Ready, but I want to meet her first."
"We'll meet in the middle."
"Perfect."
She handed me the battle suit. I dropped my clothes right there, Danny happily watching, and pulled it on. I folded my other clothes and set them aside.
And damn, but Jasmine blinded my visor and took my arm.
Ten minutes later I was standing in the middle of the arena, Jasmine at my side. A tall Luxan
female strode onto the grounds, moving towards us confidently. I looked her up and down as she approached.
I'd never really cared for the Luxan. Oh, I liked them as people, but I wasn't physically attracted. I think Jasmine knew it. I didn't ask her about it.
She came to a stop, and Jasmine introduced me to Artemis Little Ghost.
"How fitting," I said, shaking hands with her. "We are both named after figures from Greek Mythology. But what is Little Ghost?"
"It is the human name for a particular nebula."
"Ah, of course. I should have known. I am pleased to meet you, Artemis." I frowned. "Artemis was an archer. Does that tell me something about your ability to shoot?"
"It might."
I looked at Jasmine, and she smiled sweetly. On the other hand, I'd been getting my own practice in, and I had cheated. I didn't think Jasmine knew.
"Tell me, Artemis. Where do you live?"
"I operate out of the space station," she said. "But I spend time on Titan as well."
"And is that likely to change any time soon?"
"Why would it change?"
"Just what I wanted to hear," I said. "Do you know this event?"
"I do." She offered a Luxan smile. "If I win, you are my date this evening."
"And when I win?" I asked.
"I am a very, very good shot, Andromeda."
"I've been practicing. What do I win?"
"I could be your date tonight."
"Oh, it sounds like if that's what I wanted, I could just walk into the cage. If I win, you get your date, but it's at the restaurant of my choosing."
"There aren't many to choose from."
"I'll be picking something in Paris."
They both froze, then Jasmine said, "You will pick from among the alien-friendly restaurants."
"Of course," I said. I smiled and held out my hand. "May the best shot win."
"I'm sure she will," said Artemis.
We retreated to our sides. I collected my weapons, a laser rifle and a pistol. I would use the rifle on the distant targets but switch to the pistol if the Luxan decided to charge me. Then I hunkered down. A minute later, Jasmine called begin.
I began firing. My shots went wide. I kept firing, and they went wide.
"What the fuck!"
"Good afternoon, Andromeda," Bay said into my ears.
"Bay! What are you doing here?"
