The hours spent in church were Klara’s hardest. Sitting among so many people pretending things were all right exhausted her. As soon as the church service finished, Klara weaved her way through the people talking in the foyer towards Mia.
“Hello, Klara, how are you?” Mia asked as she turned towards her.
“I’m good. Can you come for lunch, Mia? Polly hasn’t seen you for ages and has been nagging me to ask you over. You know what thirteen year olds are like.”
“I’d like that, what can I bring?” Mia enquired.
“Just yourself. We’ll just dig into the fridge and see what we can find. Do you want to come with me now? I can drop you back here later to pick up your car.”
“No thanks. I’ll take my car. That way you can relax all afternoon without having to go out again.”
Klara clapped her hands together and gave a satisfied smile. “I’ll see you at home then, about one o’clock.”
~~~
When Mia arrived at Klara’s the front door was open and she called out hello.
Polly sprung from nowhere and grabbed Mia’s arm, pulling her into the house. “Hey, Mia, it’s so good to see you. I wondered when Mum would get around to having you over.”
Mia found it easy to embrace the girl and enjoyed Polly’s big smile.
“Mum, Mia’s here. What’s for lunch?” Polly squatted down to look through the glass window of the oven, “Something smells worth eating.”
“Hello, Mia. Wait and see Polly, can you set the table?” Klara rinsed her hands and wiped them dry on a towel.
“Sure thing. Come on, Mum, what’s that smell? What do you reckon, Mia? I think it smells like Mum’s pineapple macaroni cheese. Yum I hope so, I love it. It is, isn’t it?” Polly badgered.
Klara laughed and grabbed her daughter in a quick hug. “Your nose hasn’t let you down.” Klara gave Polly a gentle push. “Now—the table young lady.”
Mia enjoyed herself immensely, and the friendly banter between mother and daughter kept a smile on her face. Polly asked one question after another of Mia. Who cut her hair? How often did she go to the beach? Could she go with her sometime? Were there naughty children at the preschool? The list went on.
The time flew and Mia found herself laughing a lot. After lunch, Mia and Klara tidied up the dishes as Polly disappeared to make a phone call.
“Thanks for inviting me, I’ve had a lovely time.” Mia folded the dish towel and smiled.
“Lets go and relax on the patio. Do you want a drink of anything before we go outside?”
“No thanks, I’m fine. That was a delicious lunch. You must show me how to make it one day so I can surprise Uncle Robert with it.”
“I’ll write out the recipe for you.” Klara relaxed down into one of the chairs and placed her hands loosely in her lap. Tilting her head to one side she looked at the sky.
“I still haven’t got used to Margaret not being here. I miss her. What about you? How are you coping?”
With a faraway look on her face Mia replied. “For a while I couldn’t believe it was real and I expected Mum to walk into the room, but of course she didn’t.”
Sighing, Mia lifted a hand and placed it on her neck as if embracing or supporting the weight of her head.
“I feel like there’s so much I want to say to her and I have questions that only she could answer.”
Klara reached out and patted Mia’s knee. “I’m sorry, Mia, really I am. If it’s any consolation your mother and I had many conversations about you and Margaret wanted to talk to you about a lot of things.”
“I tried to get Mum to make a time to talk—but it didn’t happen and now it’s too late.” Sadness seeped into her heart.
“I know Margaret wanted to tell you about her life and how some of the decisions she made affected you.”
“Yes they did. If what you’re saying is true then Mum didn’t try very hard to make those conversations happen.” Mia’s eyes flashed with emotion.
“She did try, but things you don’t understand stopped her. Margaret wanted you to understand her and see her as a person who wasn’t perfect. As someone who made choices and mistakes yet was brave enough to admit them and ask for forgiveness. She wanted to ask you to forgive her.”
Tears spilled out of Mia’s eyes and she looked down. Suddenly she wanted to be anywhere but here. Why was she having this conversation anyway? Her mother was dead and there was nothing she could do about it.
“I think it’s pointless talking about this as Mum isn’t here to tell me what she’d been thinking, and it only hurts to speculate.” Her hands busily removed the moisture off her face.
“Mia, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I loved Margaret and I believe she’d want you to know some of the things that were on her heart. It would be easier for me not to say anything, but then what sort of friend would I be? Can I tell you about a conversation we had the day before she got hit by the car?”
Nodding, Mia leaned forward as if bracing herself for further pain.
She’d been feeling stronger the last few days but right now her limbs were feeling like jelly. What did her mother want forgiveness for? Could she cope with the answer to this question? Part of Mia wanted to bury all her mother’s thoughts with her and not go there. Yet the part of her that had been seeking truth slowly opened up to the possibility that maybe God would make a way for her to hear her mother’s heart through her best friend.
Klara tilted her head, and her eyes seemed to mesmerize Mia.
“I want to share your mother’s story with you.”
“I’m not saying I don’t want you to, but could I have some time to pray about it? I’d like some time to process what you’ve said and, I don’t know, maybe prepare myself. Is that okay?”
“Of course.” Klara said kindly. “How about I give you a call next week and we can make a time to meet?”
“Towards the end of the week would be better for me, maybe Thursday,” Mia suggested.
“Okay, Thursday it is.” Minutes ticked by before Klara broke the silence. “Robert mentioned you’re house sitting.”
“Yes, I moved into a house on Werrina Parade. An amazing house with outstanding views of the ocean.”
“How do you find living on your own? I know you moved away for a while when you were studying, but didn’t you stay in a student flat?”
Mia pictured her mother and Klara talking together about their families and longed to be part of such a conversation.
“Yes, I lived in student accommodation which was quite fun at the time, but I’m enjoying being on my own. Actually, I’m not completely on my own, I have Bruno living with me.”
“Who’s Bruno?” A frown wrinkled Klara’s forehead and concern etched her face.
Laughing, Mia told Klara about Bruno and how David had suggested he become her houseguest for a while. She went on to tell her about the fun they had together and how she found herself walking a lot more because Bruno needed exercise. She also mentioned that often David would come over and the three of them would go for a walk together.
“Klara, I think I’ll get going. I left Bruno at home on his own, and talking about him makes me feel like going for a walk.”
Standing, Klara lead the way to the door and called out to Polly that Mia was leaving.
Polly poked her head out her bedroom door and yelled out goodbye, the phone still attached to her ear.
“I really must do something about that phone. It’s a good thing we have call waiting connected and she has to get off if she hears another call coming in.”
As Mia reached for the door, Klara laid a hand on her arm. “Mia, is it okay if I give you a hug?”
Mia felt a knot in her throat and nodded.
With Klara’s arms around her Mia felt herself let out a deep breath and allowed the hug to feed her soul. She was in need of human contact and her eyes once again smarted with tears, hinting at the emotions that were being held firmly in place.
Chapter 19
<
br /> Bruno was in and out of the water. Sand flew around him and clung to his hair, and he barked and bounced at the waves as they raced towards him. The breeze caressed Mia’s skin with its fingers and brushed her hair across her face. Her mind seemed to be flitting from one thing to another.
Had her mother known about the abuse?
Shivers ran down her arms and she hunched her shoulders. How will I cope if she knew? How could she know and not stop it?
Tossing her head from side to side, words of denial burst from her mouth.
“No! She couldn’t have known, Mum loved me!”
Tormented, Mia stopped. Why would Mum ask me to forgive her?
She knew, you know she did!
Oh God, did she know? Please tell me she didn’t know.
Tears cascaded down her face and her steps became faster, frantic as if somehow she could walk into the answers.
Lord, I can’t bear it! It’s all too much! How can I ever understand this?
She loved him more than you, she turned the other way so she could keep him, you didn’t matter to her.
Mia fell to her knees in the sand, desperate to escape the betrayal.
You’re his, you know you belong to him, why fight it, she knew it and didn’t care!
Mia screamed out, “Mum, where were you? Didn’t you see him? Didn’t you hear me crying? Didn’t you care?”
No one cares.
In a daze Mia dragged herself to her feet. She stumbled to the water’s edge and took a step forward.
She felt disconnected from reality as if watching someone else. Her body walked into the water and the waves splashed against her clothes, yet still she moved forward.
No one would care if I died, it would solve all my problems, it’s the only answer.
She walked until she could no longer touch the bottom and she started to paddle.
That’s right, you’ll be peaceful soon, it’s okay, you’re doing the right thing.
~~~
Evening was fast approaching and David rolled up the plan he’d been working on. He would email the changes tomorrow. A smile lifted the corners of his mouth, he was pleased with the progress he’d made.
He stood, tensed, and then relaxed his shoulders.
Picking up his Bible he moved to the window and stood transfixed at the shifting beauty of the ocean. He felt satisfied.
Flicking through the pages he stopped at Psalm 89, he scanned the page and then moved back to focus on the ocean.
“Who is like you, Lord God Almighty? You, Lord, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you. You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up, you still them.” David pondered the power of God.
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for Mia.
She’s the one, Lord, I love her.
Father, I know I need to be patient and give her time, but it’s hard to wait when all I want to do is hold her.
His eyes noted the sky darkening and he looked at the white caps breaking the surface.
Lord, I hate what happened to her. Help her feel safe, help her know she’s beautiful and special – precious to you.
Lord, she’s amazing, please protect her for me and give her peace as she works through the pain she must be feeling. Give me your wisdom to know how to help her.
Placing his Bible on the desk, David continued to look out the window as darkness overcame the light.
Lord, your word says blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence. There is no darkness within you, Lord.
Help Mia realize this.
David dropped to his knees and felt saturated in God’s love.
~~~
Bruno knocked into Mia and tried to nudge her back towards the shore. Every time he barked, water filled his mouth. He paddled and clawed frantically at the water.
Mia’s head broke the surface and she spluttered.
Her eyes focused on Bruno and widened in fear. She spun around, trying to get her bearings.
Shadows bounced off the water’s surface, teasing her. She visualized hands clutching at her and she thrashed wildly at the water as she went under.
As she came up splashing, water streamed off her face. She struggled against the fear within her and told herself to calm down.
Tears streaked down her cheeks, joining the salty texture of the sea.
“Bruno, come on, we can do this.” Taking hold of his collar, Mia started to stroke toward the shore.
The current pulled at her, pushing her further away from the dim outline of land. Her arms burned as she wrestled the heaviness of the water.
Darkness cloaked them and the water waged war on their existence. The current became her adversary, an opposing force taking her and Bruno in its grip and laughing at their battle.
Letting go of Bruno she unfastened her jeans and kicked her legs free. They slipped from her and her fingers took a fist full of Bruno’s hair. It plastered his body like a heavy coat.
Her eyes meet his and she pleaded with him not to give up.
He whimpered and pulled away from her.
One minute she could see him, then he was gone.
Mia screamed his name and peered into the inky blackness, desperate for a glimpse of him.
She agonized and wanted to give up.
Had he drowned? Was he the casualty of her foolishness?
Her tears flowed and became one with the water she drifted in. With a heavy heart she closed her eyes.
Oh God, I don’t want to die. Save me—save Bruno.
Mia allowed her body to go limp as she lay back and brought her legs up. Her body felt numb, frozen, and the sound of the icy water banging against her lulled her towards sleep.
She licked her lips and longed for a drink, the salty texture running into her mouth mocked her.
She floated and looked up at the night sky. The stars twinkled at her and the hugeness of the heavens comforted her.
Are you there, God?
Chapter 20
Grabbing the phone, David placed the book he’d been reading on the table.
“David, it’s Robert. Have you seen Mia? I’ve been calling her for half an hour and it’s not like her not to answer. I’m just about at her house and thought I’d check to see if she was with you first.”
“I spoke to her this morning at church. She was going to Klara’s for lunch, maybe she’s still there.”
“I know Mia would call me a worry wart—but I’ve felt restless all day and hearing her voice would reassure me she’s okay. I’ll give Klara a call. Thanks.”
The gruff sound of barking had David racing to the door and he told Robert to hold on.
He flung open the door and Bruno jumped him.
David looked in surprise at the sand and water dripping off his dog. His eyes scanned the entrance for Mia.
“Where is she, boy?”
Bruno began to howl and his teeth pulled on David’s shorts.
“Robert, something’s wrong. Bruno’s turned up here without Mia and he’s wet and sandy. She must have gone to the beach.”
Bruno ran to the door barking, spun around and raced back to pull at David’s clothes.
“Robert, I’ve got to go. Bruno wants me to follow him. She usually goes down the walkway from her house.” As he talked he pulled on his sneakers and grabbed his keys and a torch.
Once outside, David began to run and Bruno bounced back and forth encouraging him to hurry. David’s heart pounded as he raced down the path to the water’s edge.
Shining the torch, his eyes searched the beach.
Bruno splashed into the water and barked at the darkness beyond them.
David felt his heart plunge. Stunned, he shone the torch over the ocean in front of him.
“Mia.” He hollered into the darkness. “Miaaaa.”
Kicking his shoes off he moved into the water and desperation had him waving the torch in every direction.
The tide was turning and he felt the pull of
the water on his legs.
“Bruno, where is she boy? Show me.”
Bruno loped over the waves but then returned to shore. He shook his whole body, sending droplets of water spraying in all directions. He then ran back and forth along the shoreline barking.
David heard his name being called and looked over his shoulder.
Robert joined him and grabbed the torch and shone it further out to sea.
“Lord, if she’s out there you can see her—show us please.”
Two pairs of eyes followed the beam of light as it bounced over the surface of the water.
David could feel the night mist covering his skin and breathed air deeply into his lungs to try and slow his heart rate. He felt helpless, desperate, and beseeched God for a view of her.
“There. Did you see?” Robert meticulously moved the light beam back and huffed in frustration as he tried to pick up what he’d seen.
“To the right, move it slowly,” David demanded.
Both men strained their eyes as they begged the darkness to expose Mia.
“There. It has to be her. David, can you swim out to her? Quick man, go.”
David dived into the icy water. His arms powerfully flew through the water in the direction he’d marked. He forced his mind to block out the fear that tried to grip him and he asked for supernatural strength to save the woman he loved.
He stopped and rested for a second, his eyes searching ahead of him for any sign that he was close.
David kept his face pointed in the direction he’d marked. He felt the current pull at his legs but refused to let it take control.
As he moved forward the clouds opened and the moon’s light shimmered down, briefly outlining Mia’s body. Stunned by the display of God’s goodness he stroked out towards her.
She floated on the surface like a water lily, peaceful despite the darkness around her.
He brought his fingers to her face and he whispered her name.
Her eyes snapped opened and she looked at him as if seeing a mirage.
“David?” Relief laced her voice and she flung her arms around him and they both went under.
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