“Wow, this looks great. Let’s thank the Lord for his provision and your cooking skills and eat.” Mia laughed and together the girls prayed.
“Where did you learn to cook this dish, Terri?”
“Trial and error.” Laughing, Terri spun a story of a tangled mess of noodles all over the floor and sticky tomato sauce burnt to the bottom of pot.
“At least you have a go. Did your mother teach you to cook?”
Terri shook her head. “My mother’s never cooked a meal in her life, she’s always had people cooking for her. Women from my family don’t step foot in the kitchen.”
“How intriguing, yet here we are eating this delicious meal cooked by you!”
“Too true,” Terri spooned a mouthful and chewed noisily. “There is no easy way to eat this.”
Mia circled the spaghetti around her fork and nodded.
“Are you okay, Mia? You seem a bit quiet.”
“I’m fine. I’ve had a long day. I took David around to meet my father and I feel a bit drained, that’s all.”
“So David’s met your father. That sounds serious! Next thing we know he’ll be down on bended knee asking you the big question.” The grin spread across Terri’s face and Mia couldn’t help but smile back. Her heart flickered at the thought and she pushed it away. They were just friends.
Pushing back from the table, Mia picked up some dishes and walked to the kitchen.
“Do you feel like watching a movie?” Terri asked as they moved into the lounge.
“I’m sorry, Terri, but I think I’ll go to bed. I have to be at work early tomorrow.” Mia rubbed her eyes. “How’s your job going? Getting any good tips?”
“Job’s fun, nice people. I get fed as I work and can have as many hours as I want. What more could a girl ask for?” Terri tossed a cushion at Mia. “Off you go to bed. You look washed out.”
Nodding, Mia rose slowly. Spontaneously, she moved over to Terri and kissed her on the cheek.
“I love you, Terri. I thank God for bringing you into my life. I appreciate you looking out for me.”
Terri’s eyes watered in response and she reached up and grabbed Mia’s arm as she began to move away. “Thank you. I love you too. I think God knew we needed each other.”
Lying on her bed Mia pondered her decision not to tell Terri about her abuse. The conversation she’d had with David about this was playing on her mind. What was it he’d said? Something about it being okay to tell some people, that it was her story and testimony and one day she might want to share how the Lord rescued her.
Mia thought about their conversation and smiled. She loved having a relationship with Jesus. So many things fell into place. She’d shared with David how she’d been praying, asking God to help her to come to terms with what had happened.
When their pastor preached on Sunday about what Paul said in Philippians three, she felt like he was speaking directly to her.
Mia reached over and picked up her Bible off the floor. She flicked through the pages until she found verse thirteen. Reading it aloud she said, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead—”
Mia underlined the verse. Forgetting what is behind, forgetting! How can you forget? Or is it about remembering, but not letting it hold you captive?
As she sat with her Bible on her knee, the pages closed and she was about to look for them again when her eyes scanned the page in front of her.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
Mia was stunned. What was the Lord trying to tell her? She knew every time she thought about or talked about the abuse, somehow it seemed to keep it alive.
Do not dwell on the past! That had to be the key. She couldn’t change anything that had happened, but she could choose not to dwell on it, to press on to what God had for her in the future.
Closing her eyes Mia prayed. “Lord, I will not dwell on the past! Nor let it have any more power over me! You say in your word that you took hold of me! Never let me go, Jesus. I need you so much. Do a new thing in me. I’m yours.
It was important to have friends who understood and loved her. She would tell Terri, but one thing she would not do from this moment forth—she would not dwell on it.
Jumping from the bed, she pushed her feet into her slippers and went to find Terri. Jesus had taken hold of her, He had her in his hand, and nothing would ever take her out of his grasp.
Terri looked up from the book she’d been reading. “Couldn’t sleep?” She closed the book and stretched.
“I haven’t tried yet. Can we talk for a while?” Mia’s eyes shone as she relaxed into the sofa.
“Sure. What’s up?”
For the next hour Mia spoke of God’s love, how he’d reached out to her and rescued her from the lies she had grown up with and had believed. How for many years she’d kept hidden in her mind the secret of abuse.
As Mia shared her story, Terri’s eyes filled with tears. “Mia, I don’t know what to say.” Terri’s voice caught and she coughed. She shook her head and sat forward, watching Mia’s face closely. “I can’t believe how amazing you are. You’ve forgiven your father?”
“When you think about it, what alternative is there? To hate him, not forgive him and allow myself to become bitter and consumed by what happened.” Mia lifted her chin, her eyes flashing. “I don’t want that. Gosh, God’s good. He knew what would happen if we let unforgiveness penetrate our souls. It would destroy our ability to see the good in the world. I love that he demonstrated forgiveness by dying for us. How can I not forgive Dad when Jesus forgave me?” Mia curled her feet under her and leaned back in the chair. She glanced at Terri and noticed the frown on her friend’s forehead. Lifting her eyebrows in question she waited.
Terri sat forward. “I haven’t forgiven my mother. There are times when I hate her,” she paused, and in a small voice she whispered. “It’s me I’m hurting isn’t it?”
Mia moved to kneel in front of Terri and took her hands. “Honey, can you tell me what happened?” she asked gently.
Terri nodded and sucked in her lips. “I’ve never talked about it.” Mia moved back, hugged her knees and waited.
“I never knew my father, he died when I was two. I haven’t even seen photos of him. It’s like he never existed.” She took a steadying breath and continued. “My mother has never allowed me to talk about him.”
“Is that the reason you hate her?” Mia asked.
“No. Because I never knew him, I didn’t feel the loss. He left us well off and I have a trust fund I can draw on whenever I need to. I choose not to because of her. She—she lets me know that I’m a bother. I was never allowed to call her mother—like she’s ashamed I’m her daughter. She never touches me and I can’t remember ever being hugged by her.”
“I’m sorry, Terri. Have you tried to talk to her about this?”
“When I was younger. But there’s no point. She doesn’t love me, never has.”
“I love you, Terri.”
“Mia—” Terri cleared her throat, “you’re the first person who I believe.”
Their eyes met and Mia’s misted over.
“The way you’ve forgiven your father is a real challenge to me.”
“It didn’t happen straight away, Jesus gently showed me. It’s your mother who hasn’t been able to love, not you. Don’t let the way she is, define who you are.”
“I don’t want to. I think I’ve told myself I forgive her, yet I’ve continued to hate her. I don’t suppose forgiveness and hatred go hand in hand.” Sniffing, Terri stood up and gave a deep sigh.
Mia opened up her arms and Terri stepped into her embrace.
Chapter 29
Mia quietly closed the
door and walked towards her car. Pausing, she took in the droplets of dew resting on the grass and smiled. It was getting darker in the mornings and she looked forward to the change in daylight saving. Mia loved this time of day and longed to head towards the beach.
Shrugging, she thought of the children’s reaction to the new wall displays she and Jackie hoped to finish before they arrived today.
Clicking the key remote she went to walk around her car when she noticed the rear of the car slanting down towards the ground. Mia stared down at the flat tire and huffed.
She’d be late. She must have driven over a nail. Tension sprang into her shoulders as she squatted down to get a closer look. Her eyes widened and she gasped. Deep slashes penetrated the tire, leaving a gaping wound in the rubber.
Her finger reached out to touch it when she noticed something that looked like blood smeared into the tire. She yanked her hand back and scrambled up. Who would have done such a thing?
Mia hastily walked around the car checking the other tires. Her hand gripped her stomach and she quickly walked back into the house.
What should she do? How was she going to get to work? Glancing at her watch she realized it was 6:15 a.m., and she needed to go if she was going to be on time.
Biting her lower lip, Mia considered waking Terri, but found herself dialing David’s number instead.
As soon as he answered she blurted out, “Someone slashed my car tire—I left it parked in the driveway—I’m sorry to phone you so early but I need to get to work by 6:30 a.m. Can you give me a lift?”
“I’ll be right there.” David hung up and Mia stared at the phone. Why had she called him instead of going upstairs to wake Terri?
Mia let David in and his hand briefly touched her shoulder. “I’ve taken a look at the tire and I think we need to call the police. Can you phone your work and explain what’s happened and that you won’t be in?”
Mia nodded. While she was making her call David spoke to the police on his mobile. Mia flicked a nervous hand through her hair and sighed.
“They’ll be here in ten minutes. You okay?”
Mia nodded and moved to sit down.
“Did you organize to stay home?” David asked.
“Yes. David, who’d do such a terrible thing?”
“I don’t know, but the police will know what to do. It’s probably some young people who are bored and wandering around the streets at night. We’ll get to the bottom of it.”
Terri walked into the room rubbing her eyes. “Morning. Is there something happening here?” Terri looked from Mia to David.
“Yes, unfortunately.” David answered. “Mia had one of her car tires slashed. The police will be here shortly. Do you want to get dressed and make Mia a cup of tea?”
“Are you kidding me? Mia’s only just got the scratches down the side of her car fixed.”
“Oh my, you don’t think the two things are connected do you?” Mia felt sick at the thought.
“Let’s not jump to any conclusions – the tea Terri?”
Mia glanced towards the person dusting her car for prints and absently read the logo on her shirt – forensic services. The black charcoal-like powder was making a mess on her car and Mia thought of the wasted money she’d spent driving through the car wash yesterday. Her gaze snapped back to the police constable standing beside her.
He cleared his throat and said her name. His questions pummeled her. Had she noticed anything unusual around the street last night? Had any of her neighbors had problems with vandalism? Did she have any enemies? Did she come straight home? What time did she get home? Mia forced herself to concentrate. The constable snapped his notebook shut as the tow truck arrived. Warily, Mia watched it hook up her car.
“We’ve taken samples of the blood but need to keep the tire for evidence. I’ll arrange for the car to be towed to the garage where you can have the tire replaced.”
Mia’s hand cupped the side of her neck and rubbed. Her mouth felt dry and she swallowed.
As the car and the police left she followed David and Terri into the house.
Mia wanted normality. She’d put this behind her and go to work. “I need that ride now, David.”
Terri reached over and took her hand. “Mia, stay home. It’s already arranged with your boss.”
“No, I need to keep busy.” Turning to David, her brow lifted in question.
David pulled his keys out and jangled them in his hand. “God’s bigger than all this and right now we need his wisdom on how to understand what happened.” David bowed his head and prayed for answers. Mia’s eyes widened as she watched him talk to God as if He were standing amongst them.
Closing her eyes, Mia mouthed her own silent prayer. Forgive me, Lord, for forgetting you’re always with me—as close as my right hand.
When would she be so anchored in her faith that turning to God would be instinctive?
“Phone me when you finish work, Mia, and I’ll pick you up,” David stated.
Mia nodded and turned towards the door.
~~~
Glancing at his watch, David raked a hand through his hair. He hoped Mia would agree to have dinner with him and grab a movie afterwards. His plan was to help her relax. He jerked when his phone went off in his hand and laughed at himself.
“David, I don’t need you to pick me up. Uncle Robert wants me to have dinner with him.”
The question was torn from him before he could stop it. “Will Robert bring you home or do you want me to come and get you?”
Mia said nothing. David slapped a hand on his head and sucked in a breath. He was coming on too heavy. The air crackled down the phone line and instinct told him to back off.
“I can find my own way home. Thanks for offering though.”
It occurred to him that he felt annoyed. Brushed off, again. To heck with her. She’d called him this morning because it suited her so now it suited him to come on heavy.
“I’d like Bruno to camp out at your place until this is over. I’d feel a lot better knowing you girls have him there.”
“As much as I would love to have him, I’m sure it’s not necessary. The police will probably tell us it was an isolated incident and that’ll be the end of it.”
“Humor me, okay?” He flicked his hair off his forehead in frustration. Bruno was going to stay with her whether she liked it or not.
“All right, but only because I love having him, not because I think it’s necessary,” Mia answered.
“Call me when you’re home and I’ll bring him around.”
“Terri’s home—she’ll open the door for you.” David heard Mia greet Robert and ended the call.
Bruno chose that moment to nudge him from behind. Turning angrily, David scowled at him. “Back off, Bruno.” He pushed him away.
“What’s with her anyway? One minute she wants my help and then she dusts me off like a speck of unwanted debris.” David’s eyes dropped to Bruno and his lips lifted slightly. Bruno’s deep dreamy eyes stared back at him—waiting.
He rubbed his hands over the sleek black shoulders and Bruno eyes closed in pleasure.
Mia was too complicated. What made him want more than friendship with her? His mouth clenched, at the thought of her suicide attempt. His hand went to his heart and he closed his eyes.
~~~
Mia told Robert everything that had happened in the last few days. He was amazed at how calm she seemed. “You’re handling this well, I’m proud of you.”
“Can I ask you to do something for me?” Her eyes beseeched him and his heart melted. Margaret would rejoice if she could see Mia now.
Clearing his throat, Robert smiled. “You know I’ll do whatever I can to help. Ask away.”
“I want you to go and see Dad. He needs a friend, someone who knows everything that’s happened—yet still loves him.”
He could feel her eyes pounding into him waiting for an answer. His jaw tightened.
“Uncle Robert, I’ve forgiven him, but I’m not the
right person to talk to him about the Lord.”
Robert sucked in a deep breath. Did she know what she was asking? How could he do this when all he wanted to do was punch the guy out? No, he wouldn’t do it.
Mia tilted her head and continued. “He understands about God loving him. I think he even believes this is possible. Somehow he’s got it into his head that he can’t be forgiven by God because he needs to be punished.”
“He’s not wrong there!” Robert sneered.
“I know what he did was wrong,” Mia said, ignoring his comment. “But I don’t want him to die not accepting God’s grace! I prayed about this last night and really feel you could reach him.” Pausing, Mia closed her eyes. Robert watched as her eyes fluttered open and held his. “Will you at least think about it?” Mia questioned.
Watching her eyes swim with tears, he looked down. Shrugging his shoulders, he nodded.
“Don’t just think about it, pray about it!” she challenged.
Robert was amazed she was saying this to him. It was usually the other way around and he felt reprimanded.
“I want you to read Romans 12:19. Can you do that for me?” Mia’s eyes blinked several times and Robert noticed her flushed cheeks.
“Okay. Can we change the subject now?”
Robert drove Mia home and walked her to the door. He could hear Bruno barking and smiled.
“Do you want to come in for coffee before you go?” Mia asked.
“No thanks, honey, I’ll get going. Can you let me know if there’s any more news about the incident with your car?”
“Of course. I love you. Thanks for dropping me home.”
“Goodnight, love.” Turning, Robert started down the path, only to stop as Mia called out to him.
“Don’t forget to read that scripture. Goodnight.”
He jerked his head around and watched her go inside. Stomping to his car he got in and drove home with her words playing on his mind.
Lord, I want to obey you in all things, you know that. I can’t see how you would ask this of me. He hurt her. I don’t hate him, and I’m sure I’ve forgiven him—but to ask this of me. No way! It’s too much.
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