by Rose Gordon
“You’re a cheeky one, did you know that?”
“No,” he muttered honestly. “Normally people think I’m an ass.”
“Well, that’s because you usually are,” she pointed out dryly.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she said pertly, making his smile brighten. Nobody ever had the nerve to call him an ass to his face. Behind his back, definitely. But to his face? Never. Except maybe Townson, but that’s different, Townson’s a man.
“Madison, I wanted to talk to you about something serious,” he said gravely, bringing her laughing eyes to his for a second before uncertainty entered them again. “I wanted to talk to you about our wedding night.”
Her eyes dropped to his chin and he felt her hands tense. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I know you thought I wasn’t coming back, but I was. I was just angry about what happened.”
“I know,” he said, gently pulling her to him. “Look at me, Madison.” He wrapped one arm around the middle of her back to pull her to standing position and held her close to him. With the other he cupped her cheek. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way with you. To say I wasn’t shocked or even hurt when I saw you that way would be a lie. But that does not excuse the way I treated you. As soon as I left your room I knew I’d done wrong. That’s why I went out. I went for a ride to think of how to apologize and make things right. I know we don’t get a second wedding night, but I want you to know I’m sorry for making such a mess of the one we had.”
“Why were you hurt?” she asked, her eyes searching his face.
“Because I’d been looking forward to that night for a long time.” No need to tell her just how long he’d been looking forward to it. She probably didn’t even remember the scruffy bearded man in pauper’s clothing that she barely saw in America. “But that doesn’t matter. You deserved better. That was not very well done of me. I’ll never do anything like that to you again. I promise.”
She nodded quietly and stared at his shoulder.
“I’ll never force you,” he murmured in her ear, rubbing his hand along her back. “Would you like to get out for a while?”
Chapter 10
Madison hesitantly walked out of the water to where Benjamin was standing in the grass with his hands on the drawstring to his smalls. Now that he’d apologized—which she thought was rather sweetly done considering who he was—did he expect her to perform her wifely duties now? Is that why he was fumbling with the tie on the front of his tented drawers and staring at her?
Trying not to let her nerves show, she walked up to stand across from him. “Having trouble?” she teased.
“Yes,” he said hoarsely.
“I’m rather surprised,” she mused aloud. “I always thought men had the problem of keeping their drawers on, not taking them off.”
“I was trying to untie the knot when you came out of the water, and well, ugh, I looked up and got distracted by you and um stopped paying attention to what I was doing and knotted it,” he said uneasily, his face turning red as he directed his gaze down to the knot he’d inadvertently put into the drawstring.
She tried not to laugh. The Dangerous Duke as he was known to some, or The Great Gateway as he was known to others, couldn’t even get his drawers down because he bungled the knot in his drawstring! “Then I guess you’ll just have to leave them on,” she said, taking a seat in the grass.
“I’d prefer not to,” he said with a frown. “Like you, I normally don’t wear them. I only put them on because Brooke mentioned you were by the water and I thought I’d ask you to swim.”
Forgetting that he’d been considerate enough to put them on in the first place because of his anticipation of taking her into the water, she said, “How do you know I don’t normally wear them?”
“I just saw you wearing only your chemise. If you wore drawers, I would have seen them,” he said with a grin.
Her face turned crimson and she jerked her eyes away from him. No wonder he’d been so intent on holding her feet. He’d been peeking at her privates!
As if reading her thoughts, he said, “Don’t worry I didn’t look. I spent the whole time trying not to look.”
“Thank you,” she said uncomfortably. “Just quit playing with them and sit down.”
“No,” he said defiantly. “I don’t like them to begin with, and now that they’re wet they’re cold.”
“Who cares?” she said burst out. “So is my chemise, but you don’t see me trying to take it off.”
“Then take it off,” he said with a shrug, still picking at the knot he’d put in the string.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” she retorted.
“Of course I would,” he returned automatically. “No man wouldn’t.”
“Oh, please,” she said, rolling her eyes and standing up. She walked over to where his fingers were only making the knot worse by pulling on the string and tightening it. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news—”
“Sure you do,” he muttered.
“—but it appears these will have to be cut,” she finished.
“Then cut them,” he said tersely.
“With what, oh wise one? A rock” she asked sarcastically.
“My knife.”
She stared blankly at him.
“In my trousers.”
She cast a look a hundred yards away to where his trousers rested in a pile by where they’d been sitting earlier. “Truly?” she muttered.
“Yes, please go get them.”
“Fine,” she huffed, walking to his trousers. It took her nearly two minutes to dig through everything in his pockets to find a slim penknife. Walking back up behind him, she said, “Do you always carry every small possession you own around with you?”
“No, only the basics,” he replied. “I used to have a candle stub in there, but someone I know wasted it.”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” she signed, pulling the blade out on the knife. “That thing was less than an inch tall to begin with.”
He shrugged and tried to take the knife from her.
“I don’t think so,” she said triumphantly, pulling the knife back. “I had to go fetch the knife. I get to sever the string.”
“Just don’t sever anything else,” he muttered, moving his hands way from the string to hold onto the waistband.
“Don’t worry, I’ll not knick your tallywhacker,” she told him, causing him to choke on his laughter as she cut the string. “There you go. Now you can run naked through the field like the little boy you long to be.”
His abdomen was contracting in laugher and his face took on a look she’d never seen before. “You’re great,” he said, brushing a kiss on her cheek. “Do you want to turn around while I take these off?”
Did it matter? He was about to be having intimacies with her, she’d see it then. Perhaps he was shy, she thought with a shrug before turning around. “Just let me know when I can turn back around.”
Ten seconds later he grunted and said, “All right, Madison, you can turn around, but no laughing.”
No laughing? Surely he wasn’t that small. Well, maybe that was a good thing, the smaller it was the less it would hurt, right? Taking a deep breath and steeling herself for what sight lay ahead of her, she turned around and gasped in shock. “Why—what—ugh…”she trailed off, staring at his blinding white hind end that was pointed straight at her while he laid on his stomach in the green carpet of grass.
“The red line?” he asked, turning his head to look over his shoulder at her innocently. “That’s the product of the too tight drawers I’ve been wearing for the past few hours.”
“No,” she said, flabbergasted. “I wasn’t talking about the line around your waist. I didn’t even notice it. I was startled that I turned around to be greeted by your lily white arse.”
“And what did you expect to be greeted by?” he asked, blinking owlishly at her.
“Your—your—your…”
<
br /> “Oh, I know what you were expecting,” he said, understanding making his eyes light up. “Well, I thought there should still be some mystery to me for you to discover later.”
Now she blinked at him.
“You’ve already seen everything else today. I’ve got to leave you in suspense for what you’ll find tomorrow,” he said with a grin, patting the ground next to him. “Come, lie with me.”
“Literally or biblically?” she asked tentatively.
“Literally,” he said, patting the ground again. “For today anyway,” he added after she’d taken her spot next to him.
“It’s my turn,” she said abruptly, looking into his handsome face.
His eyes went wide. “Please don’t make me turn around,” he pleaded.
“What are you talking about?”
“When you take your chemise off,” he said simply with a wolfish smile.
“I’m not taking my chemise off,” she said, giving him a playful swat on the shoulder.
“Pity.” He twisted his lips in disappointment.
She reached her hand to his face and ran her slender fingers along his hard jaw. “I answered your questions, now you’ll answer mine.”
“Fair enough,” he agreed.
“Why did you try to pay Andrew to ruin Brooke?” she asked. She’d always wondered about that. Her sisters had, too. At first she’d just assumed it was because Brooke had rebuffed his advances. But Brooke said she didn’t think that was the case because the two of them had done nothing more than share a close waltz and a few paltry kisses in the garden. When they’d asked Andrew, he said he didn’t know Benjamin’s reasons and they quite believe him. But Benjamin knew.
A dark shadow crossed his eyes. “Pick another question,” he said gruffly.
“No. Answer me, please,” she said, pulling her hand away from his face.
“Not today,” he said, grabbing her hand and pulling it back to his face. “I’ll tell you, but not today. Ask me an easy question. I asked you easy questions.”
“Fine,” she said, moving her finger to his nose. “Why did Andrew break your nose?”
“Because I said some rather unflattering remarks about Brooke,” he said evenly. His eyes looked straight into hers and she could tell he was telling the truth.
“Why?”
He blinked. “Truthfully, it was never really about Brooke. I was mad he hadn’t done what he’d agreed to do.”
“Because he married her?” she asked, tracing the knot at the top of his nose.
“Yes.”
“Did you want to marry her?”
“No,” he said softly, shaking his head. “Only you.”
She smiled. “Why did you break his?”
“Jealousy.”
“You were jealous of Andrew? Why?” she asked with disbelief. Andrew was a nice enough man, but truth be known he lacked several attributes that were part of Benjamin’s appeal.
“As you know, Lizzie was paid to raise me just like Andrew. When we went to school, she told me I couldn’t mention her or write to her. I was hurt that the only person who I’d known that ever wanted me suddenly didn’t.
“At thirteen, I didn’t fully understand why she couldn’t associate with me. And out of jealousy that he was still able to hold the relationship and I wasn’t, I started rumors to get Andrew teased. I know he’s a big man now, and don’t get me wrong, he was a big at thirteen, too, but he was no match facing an entire group of taunting boys. Fortunately, none of the older boys ever took interest in our juvenile squabbles so I was able to help end the bullying and taunting. But only at the cost of his pride and both of our good names.”
“You regret it, don’t you?”
“More than you know. I regretted it only a day or two after I did it, and I still regret it today.” He pursed his lips and blew out a breath. “The way I thought to set it to rights back then was to set into motion a chain of events that made it appear as if I was a bully and Andrew my accomplice who did my dirty work. With Andrew’s size and my skillful manipulation, the two of us managed to keep everyone from crossing us. But that’s not what you asked is it?” he asked flashing her a thin smile. “You asked why I broke his nose. Which, I must admit, came about quite by accident actually. As you can guess, our former arrangement made us appear as friends, but we really weren’t. He resented me for my schemes.
“At the end of our final term, I missed a mathematics exam because the night before I’d been on a wild-goose chase trying to run down my real mother. Andrew told the professor I’d been out drinking and with women the night before and the professor failed me. Mad, I hired a group to rough him up then I jumped him.”
He held his hand up. “I know it sounds bad. But you wanted the truth. Anyway, I thought it would be a fairer fight if he’d already been worn down by the others. You might not believe it, but at the time I was as thin as your Mr. Swift fellow, if not thinner. However, I think it just had him more worked up because he was giving as just as good as he was getting. Lucky for me, I was able to get one solid punch to his nose, temporarily stopping him so I could run off.”
Madison smoothed his hair back and twirled a silky lock in between her fingers. “I’d say I’m surprised you’ve ever been jealous. But I’m not. You had reason to be. Thinking of it from your perspective, I understand your motives,” she said softly.
“You do?” he asked curiously.
“Yes,” she said with a gentle smile. “Are you still jealous of him?”
He nodded. “Of course. But for an entirely different reason.”
“Because he has Brooke and Nathan?”
He nodded again. “Those are two things I’d give anything for. A wife who loves me and to create a child with her.”
Madison felt her heart squeeze. He wanted love. Love from a wife. Love from a child. He’d said a child. Not an heir. A son or daughter. But he wouldn’t find those things with her. He didn’t love her and she couldn’t love him. Love was such an elusive emotion. One that caused a person to hurt something fierce when it wasn’t returned. And at the same time, an emotion that once it had been destroyed once, it was nearly impossible to have again.
“Can I ask you something else?”
“Sure,” he said, plucking at the blades of grass by his fingers. “You can ask as many questions as you want. But I can’t guarantee I’ll answer all of them. Not today anyway.”
“If everything was never really about Brooke, why don’t you apologize to her?”
He snorted. “You think she’d accept?”
She bit her lip and looked up to the sky. “Yes. She doesn’t usually hold grudges. The only person I can think of she held one against was that vermin Robbie Swift. The whole time we courted she didn’t like him and made sure I knew it. But what you did was not nearly as bad as what he did.”
He lowered his lashes to look at the grass for a minute before raising them so he could look back up to her. “Would you like me to apologize?”
“Yes,” she said honestly. With Benjamin as her husband they were bound to spend time in each other’s company. “Andrew, too.”
Benjamin’s eyes went wide. “I don’t think it’s wise I mention our school days, Madison. That part of the past is best left where it is.”
“I know,” she said, bringing her hand to rest on top of his. “I meant about Brooke.”
He nodded. “All right. Anything else?”
“Yes. I noticed when you were talking earlier you referred to Andrew as Andrew, but you always call him Townson. Why?”
He shrugged. “It’s his title. He calls me mine, even though I despise it and have asked him not to. So I call him his.”
She buried her head in the grass. “For two men who are coming up on their thirtieth year, you two are awfully immature. Start calling him Andrew, and I’m sure he’ll follow suit.”
“I don’t want to be called Andrew,” he teased with an overdone frown.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I
know. All right, I’ll do it. But only because you asked it of me,” he said, turning his hand over so their hands were palm to palm. “Anything else to please the duchess?”
She smiled at his use of her title. Not because she was a title-hungry harpy like some, but because her title was a direct connection to him and for some reason she liked that. “Not just now. But when I think of it, I’ll let you know,” she said with a cheeky smile.
“You do that. I’ll be waiting.”
Chapter 11
Benjamin stared at his sleeping wife. Even when she slept she was enchanting. Her mouth hung open slightly, revealing her pretty white teeth. Her hair hung lazily over one of her eyes in the most seductive manner he’d ever seen. She was still clad in her chemise with the front gaping open from of how she was laying on her side with both hands resting under her head.
Silently, he rolled away from her and walked to go get their clothes. They’d been asleep for at least an hour out in the sun and her shoulders were beginning to turn pink. He imagined his backside was, too, but considered that a small price to pay for having spent so much time in her presence. He hadn’t wanted to expose his past with Andrew. He knew it was showed him in the most unfavorable light possible. But she’d asked, and compared to telling her why he’d wanted her family shamed off the continent last year, it seemed the better choice.
At least she’d understood, or said she did anyway. She had a point though. At nearly thirty, it was time for him and Andrew to put the past behind them and act friendly toward each other, for the sake of their wives if for no other reason. For some reason telling her the story and admitting his jealous feelings aloud almost made it all vanish. Andrew may have known both of his biological parents, but his relationship with them wasn’t any better than Benjamin’s. As for being jealous of Andrew for having a wife who loved him and a child, well, he realized that wasn’t even jealousy. It was longing. Thinking about it logically, he realized Andrew really didn’t have anything he couldn’t get. Except Madison. And that was the crux of his newfound jealously of the man.
