by Rose Gordon
“You just said—”
“What I said is he peeks,” she corrected. “There’s a difference, albeit very little, but still a difference.”
Benjamin crossed his arms. “What, pray tell, is the difference?”
She pulled the straps of her nightrail back onto her shoulders since obviously he wasn’t interested in her anymore. Well, he was. Just not in kissing her.
“I’m waiting,” he prompted.
“Right,” she clipped nervously “Well, watching is standing there and well, watching. Peeking is more of not looking directly at, but not keeping your eyes away at all times. Kind of like they stray.”
“I don’t really see a difference,” he said irritably. “His eyes have no business watching or straying to your naked form. That image is for my personal enjoyment only. No one else’s.”
“Oh, give me a break,” she said, shaking her head. “You could be enjoying me right now, but instead you’d rather go make sure nobody else peeks at what’s yours.”
He stared at her. “I will enjoy you,” he promised, sweeping her from head to toe with his intent gaze. “I plan to enjoy every delicious inch of you. Just as soon as I fire that peeping footman.”
“It’s not his fault, you know,” she said testily. Why did he have to let his possessiveness ruin the mood?
He scoffed. “I highly doubt you invited him to peek at you in the tub.”
“No,” she agreed. “But you’re the one who ordered him to stick to me like glue. He was just doing what you told him to.”
He closed his eyes. “Still that’s no reason for him to let his eyes stray as you call it.”
“You told him not to leave the room. What did you expect him to do? It’s not like he stands over me and offers to wash my back,” she retorted. She shook her head. Why was she bothering to defend the man? She wanted him gone. This was her chance. She should just let Benjamin assume what he wanted. But no, she was too soft hearted to risk Benjamin sacking the man without a reference for doing the job he'd been ordered to do.
“He better not be,” Benjamin said harshly. “If anyone is to be washing your back, it’ll be me.”
“Come on,” she whispered saucily, pulling at his wrist.
Slowly he allowed her to lead him toward the bed. “Madison,” he said huskily.
She threw him a sultry smile over her shoulder. She felt just as unsure as he seemed to be acting. But somewhere—perhaps her heart?—she knew this was what she wanted. She was tired of being angry with him. Tired of fighting with him. She'd realized in the past week he'd only been trying to protect her, and even if she disagreed with his methods, the facts were he cared enough for her enough to risk her temper in order to keep her safe, and for some reason she couldn't name, it endeared him to her in a way she could no longer fight. It was like he'd broken down the wall she'd built to keep him out and now she ready to share more than just a last name and title with him. She wanted to share her bed, her body.
“Are you sure you want this?” he whispered.
She nodded slowly. “I’m sure,” she whispered back.
“You don’t look very sure,” he countered, grabbing her wrist to keep her from crawling on the bed.
“I am,” she insisted.
“Madison,” he whispered, cupping her chin. “If you’re not ready, I’ll wait.”
“It’s not that,” she said dismissively.
“Then what is it?” he asked, gently rubbing her cheekbone with his thumb. “You can tell me anything.”
“Just nervous,” she said shakily.
He swallowed. “Because it hurt before?”
She broke eye contact and nodded. “Yes. I mean, I knew it would the first time. But I didn’t know it would every time.”
“It shouldn’t,” he said, bringing her face back to look into his eyes. “I told you that before and I meant it. It doesn’t have to hurt. If it does, it’s because—”
“The man is a selfish ass,” she cut in. “I know, you told me before.”
He nodded. “Well, it’s true and it’s worthy of repeating. Madison,” he said, swallowing. “When a woman is interested and is given the proper care and attention, she can enjoy the activity as much, if not more, than a man. I promise it can happen.”
“All right,” she whispered, a hint of disbelief in her voice.
“Let me show you,” he murmured before dropping his lips to hers and stealing her breath away with his kiss.
Chapter 26
Benjamin thought he was about to die from some sort of coronary malfunction. His heart beat out of control with the love and excitement he’d held bottled up for more than six years. He had no idea how he was going to keep his promise of ensuring her pleasure before his when he thought his body was about to explode with it already. But he had to. He had to slow down and make this good for her. He only had one shot at this and if he bungled it again, she’d never want to join him in bed again.
His lips moved slow and sure on top of hers and his fingers moved to the back of her head to massage her scalp. “Madison,” he murmured, deepening their kiss. He slid his tongue along her lip and she gasped at the intrusion when he slipped inside to sweep the inside of her cheek.
“Benjamin,” she sighed, twisting her fingers tightly in the back of his hair.
His hands left her silky curls and slid to her shoulders, caressing every inch of skin on the way. His lips left hers and kissed a path from her mouth to the hollow of her neck while his fingers inched the sleeves of her nightrail to the tips of her shoulders. He bent his head lower and using an open mouth, kissed a path down the middle of her chest as he lowered her nightrail at the same time.
Her body trembled and he heard her sigh when he kissed her along the valley between her breasts. His hands let go of her nightrail, letting it drop to the floor to form a forgotten pile of silk and lace. He dropped to his knees and brought his hands to rest on her bare waist where he stroked her hipbones with his thumbs as his mouth continued it’s descent toward her waist.
Stopping just above her waist, he pulled back. “Let me light the candle, I want to see you, beautiful” he whispered.
She stiffened. “No.” Her tone was strained and held a slight edge.
“Please,” he rasped, tenderly stroking the sides of her abdomen.
She put her hands on top of his and tried to push them off.
“It’s all right,” he said, tightening his grasp. He stood back up. “It’s all right,” he repeated, circling his arms around her and pulling her close. “Next time,” he murmured against her ear before kissing the sensitive hollow behind it.
His hands moved to her ribs and traveled to the flare of her hips, giving them a squeeze. “Put your arms around me,” he commanded gently.
Her arms threaded through his and her hands rested on his shoulders where they kneaded his muscles. He walked her backwards to the bed and lowered her onto the mattress. Uncertainly, her hands left his shoulders and slipped down his back. Even through his shirt, her fingers heated his skin. He pulled her hands off him and yanked his shirt off. “Touch me,” he rasped, putting her hands back where they’d been.
Her fingers danced up and down his back in a light, unsure caress. “You can touch me, sweetheart. I want you to,” he whispered against her neck in between kisses. He brought one of his hands up to shape her breast and desire shot through his body when her pliant flesh swelled beneath his touch.
Her hands pressed harder into his back and he groaned with pleasure. “Like this?” she asked, bewildered.
“Yes,” he choked. “You can touch me however you wish. I’m yours.” He abruptly stood up and removed his trousers. “There,” he whispered, crawling back into bed with her and putting her hands back on his hips. “Now I’m dressed the same as you.”
Benjamin settled his legs between hers and leaned to the side to support his upper body on one of his forearms. He moved his free hand to her breast where he shaped her until he felt her nipple harden ag
ainst his palm. Taking the sensitive point of her other breast into his mouth, he circled her nipple with his tongue, causing her to groan and arch her back with pleasure.
Her body quivered and trembled as he slid his hand from the side of her breast to her hip. He gave the tip of her breast a gentle nip then soothed it before releasing it and moving his mouth to the other to lavish it with the same attention. Her body arched again in response to his mouth’s exploration of her supple breast.
Her hands tightened their hold on his back when he flicked his tongue on her budded nipple. “Ben,” she gasped. “Yes.”
His mouth left her breast and kissed down her body. Answering her whimper of protest at leaving her breast, he dropped lower and brought both hands up to cup and massage her breasts while his lips placed warm kisses at the points of her hips. Still caressing her breasts with his hands, he moved his mouth to nuzzle her at the dip of her hip and thigh.
“Ben,” she sighed again, her body writhing in reaction to him.
“Madison,” he murmured against her thigh, inhaling her scent. “Sweet Madison.” He released one of her breasts and brought his hand down to massage her silky flesh.
Her hips bucked in response to his teasing fingers as he circled her sensitive flesh, adding more pressure with each stroke. “Ben,” she gasped, digging her fingers into the skin on his back. “Ben,” she shrieked louder, her nails biting into his back.
Knowing what she needed, he slipped lower and slid a finger inside her, reveling in how she moaned in response. Her head lulled back and she bit her lip as he continued his steady rhythm. He kissed his way back up to her neck, murmuring her name as he went.
“Yes,” she shrieked when he added another finger. “Ben, yes.” Suddenly her body tensed and he felt her tighten around his fingers.
He kept his steady movements until he felt the last waves of her completion. Then he removed his hand and moved his hips to settle on top of hers, positioning the tip of his erection just outside her ready body. He took a deep, calming breath.
“Ben,” she whispered.
“Yes, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice hoarse and full of emotion.
She brought her arms up around his neck. “I’m ready.”
He smiled. That was all he needed to know. With one swift motion, he pushed forward, sheathing himself completely in her. “Sorry,” he murmured, when he felt her tense beneath him. “I should have done that a little slower. Try to relax so your body can adjust to mine.”
She brought her hands to his chest and fanned her fingers out over his muscles. “It didn’t hurt,” she whispered.
“What?” he asked, confused.
She swallowed. “The reason I tensed is because I thought it would hurt. But it didn’t.”
“Good,” he croaked. “I was worried I’d hurt you.”
She shifted beneath him. “You didn’t.”
“Are you sure,” he asked, wishing she’d be still before he embarrassed himself.
She didn’t answer.
“Madison,” he prompted a bit more seriously.
“I…uh…I…” she broke off.
He started to withdraw.
“No,” she yelped, digging her nails into his back. “Don’t go.”
He shook his head. “But I hu—”
“No you didn’t,” she said tersely. “I rather liked it, all right.”
He stopped and looked down at her. He couldn’t see her very well because there was barely any moonlight illuminating the area of the room they were in. “Are you lying?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head so fiercely he felt the pillow moving.
He pushed back in. “You better not be lying,” he muttered as he slid in to the hilt. Brushing a kiss on her lips and murmuring her name, he started moving in an out, trying to find the perfect rhythm.
Her hands moved to his sinewy shoulders and she squeezed them hard. “Ben,” she gasped, her back arching, pressing her breasts to his chest.
“Madison,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. He brought his hand between them to caress her breast and rolled her nipple between his fingers.
“Yes, Ben,” she encouraged, her hips matching his movements. “More, Ben.”
He moved his hips faster. “Madison,” he grunted. “You’ve got to—”
His mouth ran dry and his words died on his tongue as he felt her inner muscles clench around him, bringing him to grunt out her name again and join her in a shattering climax.
His body collapsed on top of her and he felt powerless to roll off. He kissed her neck and murmured a soft, inaudible “I love you” against her skin before rolling to the side.
She didn’t respond. He hadn’t expected her to. He’d purposely said it where she’d never hear. He didn’t want her to say it back just because he’d said it. He wanted her to say it when she was ready.
“You didn’t have to roll off,” she murmured, snuggling beside him a moment later.
“Yes, I did,” he corrected, pulling the sheet up to cover their naked bodies. “You could have suffocated under me.”
“That wouldn’t have been so bad,” she said, wrapping her arm around his midsection.
“For you perhaps,” he retorted. “You would have died a very satisfied woman. I, on the other hand, would have had to live the rest of my life in misery knowing I killed the best thing that ever happened to me—literally.”
“Always thinking of yourself, aren’t you?” she teased.
“Except when I’m thinking of you.”
She laughed. “I think we’re a little past the flattery stage in our relationship.”
“All right,” he said, stroking her shoulders with his knuckles. “Honestly, did you enjoy that?”
“What do you think?” she asked dubiously. “Can a woman fake that?”
“Yes,” he said honestly. “But I don’t think you did.”
“I didn’t,” she admitted shyly. “I was afraid I wouldn’t like it very much though.”
He gave her a squeeze. “I know.”
“I thought you’d hurt me for sure with your large John Thomas,” she blurted.
He laughed. “I thought you said we were past the stage of flattery.”
“We are,” she agreed, propping her head up on her elbow to put her face near his as she idly ran her fingers over his chest. “I’m being truthful. I saw it last week when I took care of you while you were unconscious. And let me say a heartfelt thank you for keeping those too tight drawers on. I would have run for my life if you hadn’t. When I saw it I nearly shuddered just think—”
He cut her off with a quick kiss that was interrupted with a spurt of laughter. “That’s enough,” he choked, trying to hold back his laughter. “I’m flattered, I really am. But please do not continue in this vein. I fear I will laugh myself into a coma if you do.”
She shrugged and moved her head back to rest on his chest. “All right. But I was just being honest.”
He shook his head. He didn’t mind her crude comments. He rather liked them actually. He always had. No other woman would ever compliment a man in such a naïve and crass way at the same time. It was one of the things about her that held his attention in America. And it was one of the things he still loved about her now. As bizarre as it was, most men would have been appalled by her scandalous slips, but not him. No, he could honestly say he loved her more because of her crass comments and crude remarks.
He looked at her closed eyes and gave his sleeping wife a quick kiss on the crown of her head, and in the dead quiet of the night, once again whispered, “I love you.”
Chapter 27
Madison awoke naked in her husband’s arms and didn’t know whether to snuggle closer or scramble out of bed and dress as quickly as she could. Not that she regretted having intimacies with him, of course. She was more embarrassed her mouth had gotten away from her afterward. She’d been so drunk in the afterglow that she’d said all sorts of embarrassing things that were better left in her head.
It was no big surprise Benjamin was so much better endowed than Robbie. But she needn’t have told him so. Mortification flooded her. Normally she said whatever popped into her head without a second’s thought. But to say such a thing to one’s husband directly following the consummation of their marriage was not appropriate. And if she of all people knew that, it must be bad indeed.
She peeked up at him. Did he think less of her for her comment? Most people usually just laughed or shook their heads in disgust when she said something bawdy. For the most part though, Benjamin usually encouraged her by saying something scandalous in return. But he hadn’t last night. He’d just laughed. She smiled. Perhaps he wasn’t quite as offended as she thought he might be.
She moved her head to the pillow to look at the profile of his face better. He was a very handsome man. She’d always thought so. They’d been introduced by Lady Olivia shortly after she’d come to London. At the time she had no romantic notions and as kindly as possible dismissed him out of hand without more than a cursory greeting. She’d been too busy mourning for the past to care about the future, or even the present.
Lying next to him this way, she almost wished she’d given him more notice before. He was actually turning out to be a good husband. Even if he had a scandalous past, his actions toward her, though not always to her liking, had all revolved around her wellbeing. She ran her hand through his hair. Looking at him thus, he looked familiar, kind of like...
She shook her head. She needed to clear that thought immediately. Ever since coming here she’d been on edge with worry about running into Leo. Of course she knew he wouldn’t be in Benjamin’s direct employ, so she was safe around the estate. But feared she might run into him if she went into the village.
Benjamin said she’d met him again, but she didn’t believe that. The only men she’d met were titled and wealthy. Leo was neither. Not that he’d specifically told her he was a chimney sweep or anything. He didn’t have to. His clothes were common. His bearded face was common. Even his manners were common. No noble lord or wealthy merchant would go to America and dress like a peasant. No, Leo was commoner and with any luck they’d never cross paths again. Which was all right with her.
