by Rose Gordon
“Aye,” he agreed with a terse nod, digging his fingers all the harder into her skin. “I ruther kilt him. But ‘tis not ta be.”
“But why?” she cried, kicking him so hard in the shin he let go of her with the hand he had on her waist to rub his bruising leg.
“’Cause I canna kill him,” he said tersely, trying to deflect the kicks her foot was now trying to deliver. “I tried fer years ta fine a way to make it look ax’den’l.”
It all made sense now. As his coachman, any number of opportunities could have presented themselves to harm Benjamin from highway men to carriage accidents. However, he, Billings, would always look somewhat suspicious, especially if he didn’t attempt to help Benjamin or if the incident took place too often. Perhaps Billings had been the brains of the operation and Robbie the pawn who was to take the fall.
She kicked him again, this time with her knee in the stomach, causing him to violently flinch and pull back, giving her just enough freedom to break free of his grasp. Scrambling to her feet, she looked back to the window and saw flames were licking the inside edge of the window.
It was too late.
Standing frozen in shock and disappointment, Billings grabbed her again. His pant leg was on fire and he was purposely rubbing it against her skirt, trying to get it to catch.
Briefly debating between a death of burning with Billings or to try and imitate Robbie, she used what little energy she could muster and walked to the window, dragging Billings’ burning body right along with her. Right before she reached the edge of the window, a gunshot sounded. Billings’ body went limp and her eyes caught sight of Benjamin. He was literally hanging by a rope outside the window.
“Come, Madison,” he called raggedly, extending a hand to her.
“How did you?” she asked frantically, hiking her singed skirt up and hobbling to him
Benjamin gestured for her to come closer. “The roof hasn’t caught yet and I found an old ladder by the stables along with a coil of rope. I was able to lean the ladder against the eaves and climb up to the roof. But don’t worry about that just now. I’ve tied this not-so-new rope to something up there that I think will hold, but I can’t be certain so we need to be going, Madison. Now.”
“It all sounds very heroic,” she quipped quietly, reaching her shaking hand toward his. As her hand sank into his, she started hacking and coughing and trembling as never before.
Benjamin let go of her shaky, clammy hand. “Only the most dramatic display for you,” he teased, his grim face belying his easy tone. “Just stand there, I’ll get you.” He leaned forward and wrapped his arm around her waist then pulled her from the hayloft.
“You’re all right,” he murmured in her ear. “You’re going to have to hold onto me tightly.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck as tightly as she could and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He pushed off the wall with his foot, only an inch above the consuming flames. Together they swung out and away from the barn, then all too abruptly, Benjamin let go of the rope.
For Madison, time ceased to exist as they flew through the air. The fall may have been only a few seconds, but to Madison it felt like an eternity.
With a loud, jolting thump, Benjamin’s boots hit the ground.
Not wanting to ever let go of him, she continued to hold him tightly and whispered, “Oh, Benjamin, I was so scared.”
“I know,” he said, hugging her close and pressing kisses all over her face.
“Ben,” she whispered, hugging him closely. “I—I—”
A delicate cough cut her off. “Your Grace, we need a moment,” a man who looked far too self-important for his own good intoned.
“Right,” Benjamin clipped. “Madison, this is the constable…”
Madison knew he was talking about something important, but she couldn’t hear it. Not when her nerves were in such a tangle. Madison didn’t care to listen to anything at the moment. She only cared that she and Benjamin were safe.
“Are you ready?” Benjamin whispered in her ear after his conversation with the constable.
Madison’s eyes snapped to his. “Sorry, I was woolgathering.”
“That’s all right,” he said with a light squeeze. “I don’t mind. I know you’re overset. Would you like a bath?”
“Yes,” she said, nodding.
He grinned. “Excellent. I shall take the place of both Lottie and Jamison and join you.”
“I’d like that very much,” she said honestly. She looked into his blue eyes and felt a connection deeper with him now than she ever had with anyone else.
Without wasting another second, he scooped her up and carried her into the house. Only stopping to order a bath, Benjamin carried her straight to the suite they’d been sharing and gently placed her down on the settee.
He dropped to his knees in front of her and pulled off her slippers and remaining stocking. “It’ll all be all right now,” he promised, rubbing her calves.
The sun was shining through the window and she squinted to see him. “I’m just glad it’s all over.”
He lightly kissed her and stood up. “I’ll go draw the drapes,” he murmured, walking in the direction of the window.
Madison nodded and watched him walk to the window. He was almost there when a little corner of paper caught her eye. Her heart started slamming in her chest when she realized what that paper was. She jumped to her feet and rushed over to where he was, positioning herself in a way she could push the note back into the secretary.
“What are you about, duchess,” he asked with his handsome grin. His arms wrapped around her waist and his fingers closed down on top of where hers held the paper. “Been writing me a love letter?” he teased, pulling the paper from her fingers.
“No,” she said quickly, trying to grab it back. “Please give it back, Benjamin,” she pleaded, her voice strained.
He flashed her a rueful grin. “It’s all right if you weren’t done. I’ll give it back and let you finish it later.” He winked and pulled it from behind her back. He kept one arm wrapped possessively around her waist as he held the note above her head and his warm, tender eyes turned to cold, hard pellets of ice as he scanned each and every one of those damning words.
Chapter 29
“What’s this?” he demanded, holding the paper so tightly it was crumpling. “Why did you write it?”
Her lips parted in shock and she opened and shut her mouth like a fish.
“Answer me,” he barked, giving her a tight squeeze.
“I—I—didn’t like how you treated me,” she said defensively. “You just hauled me here against my wishes.”
“And you thought Andrew would come to your rescue?” he spat, letting go of her. “Why is it you always run to Andrew when things aren’t going well for you?”
She swallowed. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I suppose it’s because I trust him.”
“And you don’t trust me.” His words a statement, not a question. “What do I have to do to get you to trust me, Madison? Why am I not good enough for you?”
“I never said that,” she protested.
“No? Then why do you run to Andrew to save you all the time? Why can’t you just for once trust me?” he yelled, jabbing a finger to his chest. “Even today you didn’t trust me to catch you. I had to climb back up there to get you.”
“That’s not fair,” she said sharply. “Billings yanked me back into the hayloft.”
Benjamin snorted. “You had plenty of time to jump before he got there. You just chose to take your sweet time about it.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry that, unlike you, I find it terrifying to jump out a window and it took me a minute to compose myself.”
“You’re forgiven,” he said tightly. “However, that does not explain why you always run to Andrew to solve your problems for you. I’m your husband. You should come to me.”
“I don’t always run to Andrew,” she shot back, matching his tone.
; “Yes, you do,” he countered with a sneer. “The day after our wedding, you did. After only one night with me, you hightail it out of there and run to Andrew and plead with him to save you from the Dangerous Duke.”
“I never called you that.”
“You didn’t have to. Your tone and body language toward me that day screamed it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said evenly. “I went to Brooke to ask her advice after you ruined our wedding night by calling me a whore and leaving the house.”
“Wait right there,” he hollered, holding up a hand to stop her. “I never called you a whore. I said you were acting like one. There’s a difference.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, well, excuse me for my slip,” she said with a hint of hysterical sarcasm. “I just assumed when I heard the words ‘disgusting’ and ‘whore’ directed at me that you were talking about me in general. Next time, I’ll be sure to scribble down your words so that when I’m over my shock I can read over them to make sure I heard you correctly.”
“It’s inconsequential now,” he said angrily. “I’ve apologized for it. And I thought I was forgiven for it. Perhaps not. But that’s not the issue here. The issue is that you always run to Andrew to solve your problems for you.”
“No, I don’t,” she countered. “I went to see Brooke that day, not him. I wanted to ask her why you reacted that way to me. I didn’t know what I did wrong. That’s how I thought I was supposed to dress,” she said with an uneven voice that cracked mid-sentence.
A knot formed in his stomach at being reminded of that. If Robbie wasn’t already dead, he’d kill him for making Madison disgrace herself that way. “That’s immaterial,” he said sharply, trying to focus on the present. He could beg her forgiveness for their bungled wedding night again later. Right now they needed to get to the bottom of her lack of trust in him and her overwhelming trust in Andrew. “I’ll accept you went to their townhouse with the intention to speak to Brooke. But you ended your visit begging Andrew not to make you return to me.”
“Of course I did,” she retorted. “You looked angrier than a mother bear does when one of her babies is in danger. It’s not like I hadn’t heard rumors of your past exploits.”
“That has nothing to do with it,” he said again. “I’ve never struck a woman and there are no rumors, true or false, to suggest I have. You had nothing to fear and you knew it. And still you begged Andrew to keep you away from me.”
She favored him with a curious glance. “You’re jealous.”
“Of course I am,” he burst out. “He has the one thing I cannot seem to gain no matter how hard I try.”
Madison shook her head. “It’s not his fault your mother left you and his mother couldn’t act as yours in public.”
“I’m not talking about that,” he said tersely. “I accepted that years ago. At first I didn’t understand it. But I soon realized she had no other choice.”
“Then why are you still jealous of him?” she demanded.
“You really have to ask?” he asked, snarling.
She blinked. “Apparently I do since I have no idea what you’re talking about. He has a wife and an heir. You have a wife who will one day give you an heir. What is there to be jealous of?”
He shook his head. “You.”
“Me?”
He nodded. “Yes, you.”
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” she said coolly.
“You have him built up to sainthood in your mind. You idolize him as if he’s some sort of hero, when quite frankly, he’s neither a hero nor a saint.”
“I didn’t say he was,” she retorted. “I know he’s made mistakes.”
“Do you now?”
“Yes, one of the most recent involved him agreeing to take money from you in exchange for shaming my family off the continent,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Ah, yes, perhaps the most well-known of his errors,” he drawled. “And isn’t it strange that you’ve had many opportunities to know the reason behind that and yet you don’t seem interested anymore when I offer to tell you.”
She shrugged. “Why should I care? It doesn’t exactly shed good light on you that you’d be willing to pay a man money to ruin an innocent, now does it?”
“Don’t try to make this seem like you were trying to protect the mental image you have of me,” he said, shaking his head. “I know you don’t think very highly of me. Even if I do possess a few admirable traits that Andrew does not.”
“Like what?” she demanded, her voice full of disbelief.
“Like not frequenting brothels,” he said defensively.
Her face turned red and she glared at him. “Don’t you dare accuse him of being unfaithful to my sister. I don’t believe it for a moment. He loves her and would never be untrue to her.”
“I never said he was unfaithful,” Benjamin countered. “I’m just telling you that I’ve lived a more respectable life than he has in that respect. Except you, I haven’t been with a woman in more than six years.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
He shrugged. “Nothing really. But since you seem to believe Andrew has me surpassed in all areas, I was just answering your question by pointing out a way I have him beat.”
“Is there some sort of a competition I don’t know about?”
After an extended blink, he said, “Guess so.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked, her brows knitting together in confusion.
He took a step toward her, making her back up into the desk. “You need to let go of your romantic notions for Andrew. He’ll never return your love. He’s not even worthy of it. And yet, you have set him up as some sort of hero in your mind.”
“That’s not true,” she protested.
“Yes, it is,” he snapped. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be writing him exaggerated letters of your distress in hopes he’d come to your rescue.”
“As I said, I didn’t like the way you were treating me. When I tried to talk sense into you, you refused to listen. I was locked in here. I wasn’t allowed to do anything. You confined me to the house and had a footman trail me. I couldn’t even be alone to use the water closet. What did you expect me to do?” she asked fiercely. “Did you just think I’d do whatever crazy thing you told me to do just because you’re my husband?”
“I was trying to protect you,” he shouted. “I couldn’t have you go wandering around the estate alone. Anything could have happened to you and I would have never known about it. I’m sorry you didn’t like it, but that’s what I had to do to ensure your safety.”
“Then you should have taken me back to Rockhurst. I would have been just as safe there and I would have been able to do as I pleased,” she countered, crossing her arms.
“You would have liked that, wouldn’t you?” he said coldly. “Then you could have lain in the grass and dreamt of Andrew all day.”
She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You need to get over your jealousy. Besides being petty, it’s just plain annoying.”
“I’m sorry you find it annoying,” he said, feigning a polite tone. “However, I find your blatant love and adoration for Andrew annoying.”
“I have no love or adoration for him,” she snapped. “It’s your jealous imagination that seems to think I do.”
“Your actions seem to betray your words, madam,” he drawled with a scowl.
“No they don’t,” she snapped, her eyes flashing fire.
He crossed his arms and clenched his hands into fists. “Then tell me why you wrote the note pleading for him to come save you.”
“I already told you,” she yelled.
He shook his head. “No, I want to know why only his name is on the letter. Why didn’t you write the letter to Brooke? She’s your sister. You could have written to her and we both know she’d have sent Andrew for you before her eyes reached your signature at the bottom of the
page.”
She dropped her gaze to the floor. “I don’t know why I only addressed it to him,” she admitted quietly, swallowing.
“I do,” he snapped. “Because you love him. There’s no other reason for it. Let’s have some honesty, Madison. Do you love him?”
“I—”
“No,” he shouted. “Yes, or no.”
“Yes,” she said with another swallow.
He laughed in a way he’d often heard termed akin to an evil villain’s laugh. “You want to know something that you shouldn’t find a secret, but might anyway?” he asked with what he knew to be a not very convincing smile. “He doesn’t love you. And he never will. He loves your sister.”
“I know that,” she snapped.
“Then accept it,” he snarled. “Accept that he’ll never love you the way he loves Brooke. Accept that I do love you that way.”
“What?” she asked, blinking so rapidly he thought she might have something caught in her eyes.
“My turn,” he said harshly. “You seem to want to leave the past in the past. But I can’t do that. Not when so much of the past seems to keep surfacing in the present.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to do this. I have no intention to discuss the past with you or anyone else.”
He ignored her. “Do you remember our wedding?”
“Of course,” she said irritably. “Even with all the drama that’s ensued in the interim, I think I can manage to sweep the cobwebs off my brain enough to remember it.”
He gave her a sharp look. “Do you remember my full name?”
“Most of it, yes,” she said, annoyance in her voice.
“Allow me to refresh your memory. My full name is Benjamin Archer Leopold Charles Robert Collins. Most people call me my title, Gateway. You, and only a handful of others, call me Benjamin. But at one time, I went by a shortened version of one of my numerous middle names. Would you like to guess what it was?” His eyes bore into hers, daring her not to answer his question.
She flicked her wrist in an annoyed gesture. “Archer?”
“I suppose I’ll let that pass,” he mumbled. “I take it you’ve heard all the juicy details of my childhood with Andrew. But I said I shortened one of my names. Guess again.”
