“He heard you.”
“Oh,” Jared mumbles and takes a couple of ragged breaths. “Jules, I think I’m sick.”
“No way, really? And how do you think you got that way?” I ask making every attempt to not sound accusing. My sarcasm still comes across a little harsh, but Star said they had been partying and I have to wonder if his current condition is self-induced.
“I don’t know,” he moans.
Reaching over, I place my hand on his forehead and find it roasting hot.
“Jared, tell me if you’ve taken any drugs.”
“I didn’t,” he says, but I pick up on the smell of sour alcohol mixed with stomach acid coming from the bowl next to me.
“Drinking?”
“One beer. I swear.”
“He’s being an honest man,” Marcus says. “I was with him all night.”
I glance at Marcus, then back to my brother. I want to scream and pull my hair out.
“My bad. I’m sorry, J,” I say adding humility to the list of ingredients in my new favorite emotionally-taxing cluster fudge recipe.
I lay my hand on his forehead again, alarmed at how high his temperature feels. He whimpers.
“Get back in bed,” I say and help Jared to his feet.
As we stumble past Marcus, I ask, “Does he have the flu?”
“Looks like it,” he says.
“You won’t tell me how to save him, will you?” I say testily.
“Stop fightin’ it, Jules,” Marcus says. Mercy and compassion tinge his deep voice. “Fate is a mighty force to reckon with.”
“I can’t,” I spit out, as I steer Jared into his room.
Chapter Ten: Vital
Nathaniel
The coughing coming from the bedroom catches my attention. I stop what I’m doing to listen. A small cough is followed by a wetter, deeper one, followed by wheezing, choking, and hacking. I put down an armload of firewood in the rack by the woodstove and walk over to Vivi’s door and knock softly.
“May I come in?”
There’s a sort of gagging noise that sounds like a yes. I turn the antique glass doorknob and enter. She’s sitting up in bed, one hand covering her mouth and the other gripping her chest. I move over to her and place my hands on her back to channel some energy. Her body responds quickly and I feel her chest and lungs calm down.
I leave the room and return a minute later with a glass of water.
Vivi takes the water without question and sips at it. After a few minutes of silence, she hands the half empty glass back to me.
“Next time, put Scotch in it. And how was your date?” she says. Her voice cracks only once but otherwise sounds strong.
It’s dark in the room, the only light coming in from the kitchen. With my last trip outside for wood, the sun was just beginning to share its existence over the edge of the horizon.
“It’s early, Vivi. Do you want more rest?”
“Sleep and I aren’t the best of pals. Now, I asked you a question,” she says, sounding irritated with me already.
I love this woman’s spirit.
“It was mostly good.” I’m not totally willing to share the intimate details of my time with Juliana. It’s still too sacred, like a secret treasure only shared between Juliana and myself.
“Uh-huh,” she says knowingly.
“About the date. I bought Juliana dinner. I need to repay you. I chopped kindling and brought in as much wood as will fit by the stove, but I would have done that anyway. It’s gnawing at my insides. I’ve never taken a loan before. Think of anything you need and I’ll do it for you, but I won’t take your money again.”
“First off, hand me my robe,” she says and holds up her arm.
I retrieve the robe from a hook on the back of the door.
“What did you spend, about forty bucks?”
“Less than that,” I say. “And your change for the groceries is on the kitchen counter.” I didn’t like it one bit, but the argument that I could make it up to her later made sense at the time. It was a weak moment and I was over-anxious to see Jules. Vivi had given me an enormous amount of cash to cover her short list of groceries.
She slips her arms into the robe and stands, tying the belt closed around her waist. “It sounds like you’ve taken advantage of an old woman. What am I ever going to do?” she taunts as she steps into a pair of slippers.
Vivi leaves the room as I frown at her back. Being indebted to someone isn’t my style. I shouldn’t have spent her money. It was a mistake I’ll never make again.
“So you cut and stacked wood, and did my shopping. I think we’re squared up.”
Following her into the main living area of her log home I say, “Give me another job to do before we call it even.”
“Nathaniel, don’t fuss over forty dollars. It makes me happy to see someone put the money to good use. And nothing is better than taking care of someone you love. You love her, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“Well then, don’t sweat it,” Vivi says as she opens and closes a cabinet then a drawer in the kitchen.
“I’m not going to feel better about this until you think of more things for me to do. I’ll tell you when I’ve earned the money. And please go sit down.” I move into the kitchen and take the coffee mug and spoon from her. “What would you like — tea, coffee, eggs? How about a bagel?”
“So we’re clear about this,” she says as she stubbornly refuses to release the spoon. “You’re offering to cook and do my chores and all I have to do is pay for your girlfriend’s supper?”
“No. I’ll do those things anyway. You need to think of something better for me to do.”
She lets go of the spoon and smiles deviously at me. “Ah, guilt is a powerful catalyst, isn’t it?”
“Now you’re catching on.”
“This may take me some time,” she says as she sits down at the table. “Bagel, cream cheese, and coffee,” she orders. “I may get used to this. That’s your warning, Rookie.”
While I make her breakfast I tell her about my limitations concerning physical exertion. I am near my limit now. What I’ve been doing over the last ten hours has used a lot of my energy. Especially when Marcus threw me. I felt a huge drain from that, but it could have been worse. He could have taken a large enough toll on me that I would have had to leave Juliana back at the café. He saved me that disgrace. After I said goodnight to Juliana I still had to go shopping for Vivi, drive back to her ranch, take care of the firewood, and now I’m nearly ready to go recharge.
“What happens if you’re off in the heavens and I die in my cup of joe?” Vivi asks.
“I’ll be with you,” I assure her. “Time on the other side is more malleable. But, in the very rare case I can’t make it, someone will stand in.”
I set her food down on the table and move to the kitchen to straighten up.
“After all the fuss of getting to know one another, I don’t want anyone else.”
“Thanks, but my colleagues aren’t so bad.”
“Except that Liam. He was a ripe turd. Clever and powerful, but a shit to be sure.”
I feel my brows lift. “Is that so?”
“Yes, and so honest you’d like to slap the gumption right out of him.”
“When was the last time you saw him?” I ask while trying not to let my hopes get too out of control.
“Nineteen sixty-eight. The same year my husband cast me out and stole my little Eileen from me.”
“Eileen?” I ask and sit down at the table.
“My baby girl,” Vivi says, and looks across the room toward the large windows. “Eileen Rose is my daughter. It was in Ireland near Coleraine. James and I wanted his relatives to meet her. He was Irish, you see.”
“Is that in Northern Ireland?”
“Yes, it is.”
“And your ex-husband took your daughter from you?”
Vivi sips her coffee, then sets it back on the table, keeping her hand wrapped around the warm mug.
“As soon as I stepped foot on that land, something strange happened to me. My sight opened up. I could see the mysteries of the universe and the land so clearly and I could feel the connection to all of life. I was scared and yet, I was excited. There was no way I could tell James. He was such a stodgy prick, even back when I still loved him. Then things started happening around me.”
“What sort of things?” I ask, getting a sense Vivi is even more formidable than I realized.
“Well,” Vivi says with a regretful sigh. “At the time, I didn’t know I was causing the commotion but don’t misunderstand me, I figured it out quickly enough. Unfortunately so did my in-laws. James’s sister was a liar to the umpteenth degree. Always running her mouth about so-and-so. I would listen to her and I knew she was a lying sack of dirt. One evening she was spitting on about a poor gal who lived nearby and was having a difficult time of things. I kept thinking to myself, my sister-in-law is such a stinking liar. How dare she keep on like she’s so much better than everyone else? All of a sudden, Margaret’s eyes were wide and she stared right at me — dead straight into my eyes — and she started confessing about how she was the one who kept spreading the rumors about the poor girl in town. When she was finished, she slapped a hand over her mouth and ran out of the room.”
Vivi takes another slug of the coffee and a few rattling breaths, then continues. “That was only the beginning. The family started keeping their eyes on me. Every little thing I did. They stopped talking when I entered the room and whispered behind my back. James started in with the accusations and weird looks, too. The night we had a storm and all the electric power shut down was my last night as part of the Bell family.”
I sit with Vivi, letting her take her time with her tale. She eats half of the bagel, then starts to rise from her seat, empty coffee cup in hand.
Standing, I say, “Please let me,” and reach for her cup.
“I’m not used to letting anyone do things for me,” she says.
“Pretend you’re on vacation,” I say and go to pour the coffee. “Vivi,” I ask, and pause, deciding if I should venture down this personal subject. “You don’t have to share this with me, but where is your daughter now?”
“I really couldn’t say,” she says. “I suspect maybe still in Ireland.”
I hand her the cup. “Do you want to tell me more about that night?”
She looks into her coffee and says, “Well, the power was out. The house was dark and cold. Everyone was tense, including the baby. We couldn’t go out because of the storm and Eileen started crying and wouldn’t stop. By this time, I was well aware of how much my in-laws disliked me. I was walking the babe around the house because the movement helped settle her some and I walked into the parlor in time to hear my sister-in-law trying to convince James that I was the Devil’s harlot. The storm outside was beating the house without mercy and I felt so trapped. The wind and lightning were just terrible. James looked right at me and wouldn’t defend me. I had a feeling he was thinking something similar earlier the same day when he saw me talking to the mare out in the paddock, and the dang animal listened to me when I told it to quit gnawing on the gate. There were other incidences as well like I said, but that night…”
She pauses, takes a drink of coffee and looks over at me to see if I’m still listening.
“Oh, how I wanted out of there and to return home, or find a room at an inn. Anything but stand there and be accused of things that weren’t my fault. Well, not totally my fault. I didn’t know the horse could understand me, or that his sister, Margaret, was unable to lie in front of me.
“James walked over and offered to hold Eileen. Maybe I shouldn’t have handed her over. I was just so tired, and frustrated, and confused. I let him hold her so I could compose myself, but then he said, ‘Vivian, you will stop this nonsense immediately. My family is convinced you are a Pagan temptress’. I didn’t know how to respond. Margaret said, ‘The unholy are not welcome here and that means you’. After that announcement, the rain started bashing the house. Water was leaking in under the doors and around the windows. Eileen started crying even harder. I felt caged in with these people and I couldn’t get away. I ran to my room and started packing my things all the time wishing the rain would stop so I could walk into town. And it did.
“The rain stopped as if it shut itself off at the spigot. I grabbed my suitcase and walked out the door. James followed me outside yelling at me. I didn’t know where Eileen was by then, but I wasn’t thinking straight, only running away. I assumed James’s mother had her or she had finally gone to sleep. He asked where I was going, but I couldn’t speak after hearing him say nasty things to me like, ‘Witches are burned in this family, and I won’t be married to one either’. I didn’t know if I was a witch or if it was the land and the enchantments that seemed to be everywhere. Well, let me tell you this, James was speechless too when he finally looked up at the sky over the farmhouse. You see, Nathaniel, the storm was everywhere except over the Bell household. I didn’t question it. I had a feeling I was making the rain stop so I could get out of there, but I needed it. So I just kept walking. Straight to the nearest inn. It never rained on me. Not one drop during the entire walk.”
“You told me you were in harmony with water. Does that mean you can control the weather?”
“At times,” Vivi says. “When I need it.”
“And the curse?” I ask, remembering something she remarked on the day before.
Hard resolve settles over her face and in the stiffness of her shoulders.
“Had I known what I was doing, I never would have. This is the root of my illness. It’s hard to admit, but I know it’s the truth. See here, Nathaniel. I should be able to heal myself, but I can’t. It’s buried so deep inside me. I caused James much harm and I couldn’t undo it. When I tried, it seemed to affect Eileen. I became afraid for her life. So I left Ireland and I never went back.”
I lay my hand over hers on the table and stay quiet. She can continue or not. It’s her story and her pain. Past clients have taken devastation with them into the afterlife, or they leave it behind. Vivi’s case seems more extreme than most. It’s up to her to hold onto it or release it.
“James wouldn’t let me see Eileen. I didn’t know what to do. I was in another country where everyone around me was an uptight judgmental Protestant butt-wad. He fell right in with the worst of them. Kathleen and Liam somehow managed to find me and offered me a bed while I was trying to work things out. I laid awake for nights cursing James and his family. I wished they would fall into the sea. I wished for their misery. I wished they were all dead. It was a lot of negativity. At the time, I didn’t know I was really cursing them, and then it was too late.”
“How did the curse work?”
“James’s sister, Margaret, died in a terrible accident when she fell into the ocean just two days after the last time I saw her. James was nearly trampled by the mare. I was there for that one. Eileen was napping on a blanket nearby when the horse started acting crazy. I was so angry he was shutting me out of my own daughter’s life. He even blamed me for the horse’s acting up. But the last straw to break my back was when part of James’s family home collapsed in on itself. Eileen was inside. They were all convinced I was the source of the ill wish, and I was. Liam’s wife, Kathleen, made me understand that my thoughts and wishes were powerful. My praying for James’s demise was causing the accidents to happen. Only, I was going to receive three times the hurt I wished upon him and his family. The ultimate punishment for cursing the Bell family was having Eileen taken from me forever.”
We sit quietly for a time, then I say, “What goes around comes around, three-fold?”
“That’s right, Rookie. It isn’t always three times the incident — although it can be. Sometimes it is three times the intensity, and sometimes, it comes back to the curser on three levels. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually.”
“Vivi, have you tried to make amends? Surely you can heal t
he past and move forward without shame, blame, or guilt.”
“Well of course I have. Once Kathleen and Liam helped me understand my power and how I was using it against James and his family, I did everything to undo the harm. Nothing made a difference. When I would approach the house or James, something would happen to him, or near him. It scared me nearly out of my stockings and I would take my leave. I didn’t care if he bit the dust, but Eileen was often nearby, and I couldn’t let any harm come to her.”
“And then you left Ireland and returned home?”
“Yes, I did. I was heartbroken and needed to be home in the mountains where things made sense and I felt more comfortable. My parents took me in here. They helped me try to get Eileen back, but the curse must have been coming back around because we couldn’t make any progress no matter what avenues we tried. I finally gave up. It was all unintentional, but it was still my fault in the end.”
“I know there is truth in your words, but I also know we all make mistakes. The worst of life’s misfortunes can be undone, Ms. Vivi. Is there anything you didn’t try?”
“I learned to live with this long ago. Losing Eileen was like having my soul taken from me. It is triple the cruelty I wished on my asshole husband all those years ago. But it’s my burden, and at last, the final ship is taking me home.”
How is it possible to sit here and listen to this beautiful woman tell me her weakness, her pain, and her lifelong suffering? It’s a difficult truth to bear knowing what one person can endure is more than some can ever imagine.
Vivi continues. “I don’t want your pity, Rookie. I’ve had a damned good life. My home in these mountains is a blessing. I’ve had more friends than I can count and I’ve always been taken care of. It’s that I’ve had many years to consider what happened to me and the older I get the clearer I can see my past for what it was. Amazing what old age gives a person, and what it takes away. I’ve come to know a person can hold onto something for an entire life before understanding it. I made my bed and I sleep in it well.”
“It sounds like you do. But here’s the thing, if I could find her for you, would you want to know? If I can help you heal the past, would you choose to do it?”
Haunting Me (An Angel Falls Book 3) Page 12
