by V. F. Mason
Dude probably still had no friends.
A few years back, when he had graduated at fifteen because he was some kind of genius, his mom and dad rekindled their relationship and he moved with them to New York.
His dad was one of the New York Jacksons. The ones who owned a big chain of hotels all over the world. And, apparently, Ryan was his only heir.
Ryan studied at Columbia University, but refused to use money his dad gave him.
Well, yeah. I admired that.
He was pushed in the back by a couple, who were making out, and the Coke he was holding spilled all over his white shirt.
“Sorry, man,” the dude who’d pushed him said.
“It’s okay,” Ryan replied and tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace.
Damn it! He was really too nice for this environment.
We were celebrating the ending of our first world tour with a big wrap party in Manhattan.
People were going crazy, and for some reason, Nick had invited Ryan. Nick and Megan were sitting on the couch chatting with Jeremy, who had his eyes on Sam, who was dancing seductively on a table and looking around for a new guy to spend the night with.
Ariel was already in a hotel room, having fun with some blond dude.
Jane wasn’t interested, and had just gone somewhere. She had this habit of disappearing, and none of us had any idea where.
We tried to ask, but never got an answer, so we decided to let it go.
Ryan went in the direction of the bathroom, and for some reason, I followed him.
He tried to clean his shirt with several papers towels, but just made it worse.
“Sorry about that.”
He froze for a second, and then raised his eyes to me and blushed. I never understood his reaction to me; after all, we had grown up together. What was there to be embarrassed about? It’s not like I didn’t know how clumsy he was.
Everyone who came in contact with him knew.
Not that I had much contact with him.
“Don’t worry about it.” His voice sounded a bit down and shaky, and he cleared his throat. “Happens at every party, right?” He tried to smile and, again, that didn’t suit him at all.
“Not to everyone,” I muttered, and regretted it instantly because he heard me and his shoulders sagged a little bit.
Damn it! I didn’t want to be cruel to him!
“I know, I’m clumsy, huh?”
I put out my hand and showed a small distance between my thumb and index finger. “Just a little bit.” He chuckled, and I was surprised by how pleasant I found it. He had never done that before. It was a beautiful sound.
“Yeah. I think it’s a fool’s job, huh?” He stopped trying to make his shirt better and tossed the paper towels in the trash bin. “Maybe I’ll just head home.”
Yeah, that was really a good idea. He wasn’t fitting in here, and it probably wasn’t that interesting for him to begin with.
But for some reason, I couldn’t let him go like that. We might not be friends, but I knew what it was like to be an outsider, who didn’t fit in.
Sometimes you just needed a friend from the inside.
“Come with me.” He raised his confused eyes to me.
“I have one of Nick’s shirts in my room. Actually, several of his shirts. I like to sleep in them sometimes.” I realized how creepy it might have sounded and quickly added, “I mean, they are comfortable, and I took them from him. From the laundry. Not that I smell it or anything. I just didn’t want to have to buy guy’s shirts to feel comfortable.” Shit, was I rambling? And why the hell did I feel the need to explain myself?
He just blinked and then smiled, but not his usual grimace. This smile was genuine. Beautiful, it lit up his eyes. Also, who knew the guy had two hot dimples on his cheeks? Now it was my turn to blink in surprise, because that smile transformed his face completely. He looked, I don’t know…
Kind of hot.
Kind of hot? Are you out of your freaking mind, Bella? It’s Ryan. I shook my head and almost missed what he was saying.
“Sure. Lead the way.”
“Okay. Let’s go.” We moved through the people who constantly tried to say hello or were just in the way. We finally made it out and arrived at my room. I swiped the key card and we went inside.
“Nice room,” he said politely, and I just shrugged. I knew it was a luxurious thing, but I didn’t care. It was just a place to crash and was something for me to buy. I finally had enough money to afford it.
“You’re probably used to it. I mean, with all your dad’s hotels.” He looked down, clearly uncomfortable, and now it was his turn to shrug.
“I don’t go there much, and I don’t care, either.” Okay, it was probably better not to talk at all.
“Wait here, I’ll grab the shirt from my room and will be right back.” Without waiting for a reply, I made it quickly to the room and went to my closet, picking up a black shirt. Before I went back, I glanced at the mirror. I looked kind of hot in my leather leggings, black boots, and navy blue strapless top. My hair was made into a braid and I had heavy makeup on.
Why the hell do you care how you look?
Because I wanted to have some fun tonight. Yep, that was it.
I wanted to finally lose my virginity. It was a stupid burden, and I got tired of it.
I went back to the living room, and he was still standing in the same spot, studying the view from the big window. That’s the thing I liked about this room; it had the best view of New York, especially at night. It was breathtaking.
“Here you are.”
“Thanks. Where is the bathroom?”
“You can change here if you want.” He blushed and just shook his head.
Okaaay. It was Ryan, after all. I shouldn’t be surprised.
“It’s in the right corner.” He nodded his head in thanks and left.
This evening was super weird. I couldn’t believe I was here with my brother’s shy friend, when I should be downstairs having fun and finding some guy for the night.
He was out in less than five minutes. The shirt hugged him a bit too tightly and, well, the guy had abs.
Like really had abs. And shoulders. In fact, he had a really nice chest. There was even a six pack visible through the black t-shirt.
Who hides a body like that?
When I was done staring at it, I raised my eyes and he gave me a questioning look.
Crap, how long had I been doing that?
The guy was doing something to my sanity. First his cheek dimples, now this. What next? Would he have a great ass if he changed his pants?
Maybe I should spill something on his white slacks to check my theory?
God, Bella, stop thinking about the man’s ass!
“It fits great.”
“Yeah.” He looked down at it, uncomfortable “A bit small, but it’ll do for the night.” He was holding his dirty shirt.
“You can leave it here. I can send it to laundry.”
“No, really, no need.”
“Please. I’ll give it to Nick and he’ll pass it on to you sometime. It’s probably not your favorite shirt, right?” He smiled again and, God, don’t look at his dimples.
“No.”
“Then you can leave it here and enjoy the party downstairs.” That made him frown and clear his throat.
“About that. I think I’ll just head home. It’s not really my scene, and I have already taken more of your time than I probably should have.”
“It’s okay, Ryan.” He just shook his head and headed to the door. Twisting the handle, he turned around and looked at me. “Thanks, Bella, for this.” He motioned at the shirt in his hand and the one he was wearing. “I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening.” Before I could say anything, he’d left the room and the hotel door quickly clicked shut after him.
It was a good thing he was going.
He probably would never have fit in the scene, and I was free to go and enjoy the rest of the night.
I should feel relieved.
I didn’t.
Before I could stop myself or talk myself out of it, I ran toward the door, opened it, and found him near the elevator.
“Ryan!” My shout was loud and he spun around. There was worry in his face and eyes.
“Something wrong?” In quick, straight paces, he was by my door and before my eyes, where I could smell his cologne, which in my opinion didn’t represent him at all, but whatever.
“Nothing, it’s just… what will you do now?” He raised his eyebrows in surprise but answered anyway.
“I wanted to head home, maybe grab some ice cream on the way.”
“What kind?”
He furrowed his brows.
“Vanilla.” That made me laugh.
“I meant, where do you want to eat it?”
“I was thinking about Oddfellows.” I knew that ice cream parlor. It had several branches, but I usually went to the Brooklyn one. Nick and I loved some good homemade ice cream and we enjoyed it there. “It’s close to home and I like it,” he finished.
“Can I come with you?” I had no idea where it came from, but suddenly the party and everything else sounded unappealing.
He blinked several times and his mouth opened in shock, as though it was the last thing he’d expected. I felt bad; maybe he didn’t want me with him, and here I was ruining his evening plans. He already had to attend a party that made him uncomfortable, and now this.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Have a nice evening.”
“No, I mean, I would be happy if you joined me.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Let me just grab my jacket, and I’ll be good to go.”
I was about to have ice cream with Ryan.
I had no idea what I was doing, but for some reason, I was excited.
Annabella
I woke up slightly groggy and blinked, trying to understand where the hell I was.
After my practice session with Nate where I had sung a whole song, I needed time to collect my thoughts and myself. I ran to my room and, oddly enough, the minute I had seen my bed, I wanted nothing more than to lie down and fall asleep.
What I hadn’t expected was to remember Ryan, of all people, or that stupid party or where we went to have some ice cream. I tried not to think of that time or of him, but lately it had become difficult.
Nate and what he had done for me tonight was huge. When I had kissed him, so many emotions had washed through me.
I never wanted to let him go, and that scared me.
The tender moment we had shared in the studio reminded me of Ryan.
The way Nate played and looked while he doing so, it was like he felt every note deep in his body. It was like he gave himself away to the music and felt the same pleasure I did. It was amazing; it was why I loved to create music so much.
Ryan was the only other guy with whom I’d had that connection.
Before I blew it.
I was good at that, at blowing things. I would probably do the same here, but there was no stopping me from my feelings.
I checked the time and found it was around four o’clock, which meant I’d slept for only a few hours. I felt beaten up, and I needed to freshen up before Drake came. We had our usual appointment today, and I really wanted to talk to him.
I quickly washed my face and made myself more presentable before heading downstairs to grab a sandwich. I knew Marie was out buying groceries. She did it every other day at the same time, so I wouldn’t be bombarded with tons of questions.
Nate wasn’t anywhere in sight, and to be honest, I wasn’t looking for him. I needed a break from him, and us.
Yeah, because clearly there was an us now.
Finally, it was time, and I went to the room and sat down on the couch.
After a few minutes, Drake entered, looking as calm and friendly as always.
“Hey,” I said, and he smiled.
“Hello, Bella.” He sat down opposite to me, took out his tablet, and smiled. “Ready for our session?”
“Oddly, yes. Today I’m ready.” He didn’t show any kind of emotion and let me continue. “Something happened today,” I said carefully.
“What exactly?”
“I sang a song.” He made a note.
“How did it happen?”
“Nate and I, well, we, or rather, he played the piano and I sang. He…he didn’t let me use Nick’s guitar.”
“Your.”
I looked at him, confused.
“What?”
“Your guitar.”
“Yeah, my guitar.” I guess I was so used to calling it Nick’s guitar that it was hard to change. In our previous sessions, Drake told me to start doing that. It was important, according to him. Maybe he was right. “Anyway, it was hard, and it wasn’t my best performance ever, but still, I managed to sing the whole song and I couldn’t do it before.” He nodded.
“How did it make you feel?”
“It was…liberating. Yes, that’s the word. I felt relieved because I still could do it. And at the same time, I have no idea what to do with it now.” I licked my dry lips. “I want to do it again, but would I be able to with anyone but Nate?” I saw understanding in his eyes and he put his notepad on the table.
“Are you afraid of the connection you are forming?”
“I know it makes no sense. I’ve known him for such a short time and everything, but I feel safe with him and it scares me. What if I rely on him too much? I want to learn to be on my own.”
“I see. Is this the only reason, or is there more?”
There was more, but I wasn’t sure I should talk about it.
I was afraid to voice my feelings.
But maybe I had to.
“He reminds me of a guy I used to know. His name was Ryan, and he was one of Nick’s closest friends.” Drake gave me an odd look but said nothing. “I had this feeling today, the feeling of closeness that I only used to feel with Ryan.”
“Was Ryan your friend?” I shook my head and looked to the side to the view outside. The weather was becoming way better. Spring was slowly touching down on Texas, and that made me smile. I loved warm weather.
“We weren’t friends. We actually never spent much time together except—” Well, shit. That part was hard to talk about.
“Except what?”
“Except that one night we had in New York almost four years ago.”
“A one-night stand.”
That made me angry and ashamed at the same time. Because he wasn’t a one-night stand, but I had treated him like one. Suddenly, I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
“It’s okay, Bella, to feel a connection to people—to feel. You are not dead.”
Yeah, maybe he was right. I wasn’t dead…was I?
“Then why am I afraid?”
“Maybe because you are afraid to lose again.”
“Like Nick, you mean?”
“Do you feel like you lost him?”
That was the whole point of these sessions, wasn’t it? For me to admit that I did, but no matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t do that.
I didn’t want to do that.
“I don’t know what to say.”
The truth was I had no idea what to do or say about a lot of things.
And that shit was scary, too.
Ryan
“I don’t care, Steve. I need all the information about the hotel’s performance for the last month in an hour.”
“But, Ryan—”
“One hour, Steve, or you can consider yourself fired.”
Without hearing another word, I hung up the phone.
Steve was one of my father’s right-hand guys and was used to having a lot of power in his hotel business chain. Well, not anymore. My father had given me the power seat as CEO six months ago, and since then, it was nothing but an ongoing battle. No one had wanted to change the old ways, and no one wanted to do as I said, but with time, they were
learning that they had to. I hated the whole hotel business. I was content with the job I had. But for the sake of my parents, I had agreed to do this whole shit, but only if I had full control.
It was hard to manage it now when I was away, but with my few trips there and conference calls, it was doable. I leaned back in my chair, closed my eyes, and exhaled. I was exhausted and needed to rest, but I knew, even if I tried to lie down, it would be useless.
At least, until I saw her.
She had run away so fast, but after some time, I went up to check on her. She was sound asleep. She looked so peaceful that I stayed, like some kind of creeper, and watched her sleep for a while. I then put a blanket over her and left the room to get some work done.
I heard a knock on the door and it made me open my eyes.
“Come in.” I rubbed my eyes and saw Drake enter the room. Well, that was a surprise. “Hey, man.”
“Hey,” he said and sat without further invitation. Drake and I had a rather difficult relationship, to put it mildly. He was my father’s older son, which meant a son from his first wife. Drake was older than me by two months, and the funny thing was, he was a genius child, just like me. Dad had to have really good DNA, although Drake took his time and didn’t hurry as much as I did. He got his degree at twenty-two and had then started his practice. He usually worked for non-profit organizations.
Much to our dad’s disappointment, Drake had wanted nothing to do with the hotels and made it very clear. He even insisted on giving me the reins.
Still, he was a major shareholder and did some business on the side.
I wouldn’t have asked for his help with Bella, if it wasn’t for the fact I knew he was perfect for the job.
“To what do I owe this visit?” It wasn’t hard to read the sarcasm in my voice; he refused to even acknowledge me when I asked about her health. He preferred to send me e-mails, but here he was.
He studied me for several seconds and finally spoke.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Of all the things I had expected him to ask, this question wasn’t one of them.
“What do you mean?”
“With Bella. What the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m helping her out. What does it look like I’m doing?”
