by T. Styles
“Just like that.” Joseph encouraged, looking down at him. “You doing real good.”
He kept Jayden in the house for three days, forcing him to perform oral sex on him almost every hour. On the first day he knew his mother would come looking for him. On the second day he was certain it would be in any minute. On the third day he understood that once again, she’d abandoned him. Madjesty was right she let him down.
Jayden was unaware that Armanii and Joseph ran this type of thing all the time on young boys. That’s why she was happy when she saw him at the front door because it meant they didn’t have to go any further that night. Joseph loved oral sex from young boys and would have murdered him and dumped his body like he did the others but Armanii remembered one thing Jayden said that saved his life. And that was that his mother didn’t care about him. So getting caught was highly unlikely.
One day while Armanii and Joseph were still in the bed with Jayden next to him he said, “Get up, kid and go home.” Just like that he released him and both of them went back to sleep.
Jayden eased out of bed and closed the door with hate in his heart. Who was he now that he was made to do something so atrocious? He put his jeans on, went into the kitchen and grabbed a fresh paper towel. Then he turned the stove on and lit the edge. The orange glow was so bright and the warmth of the fire close to his face gave him pleasure. He threw it on the sofa and watched it go up in flames. He didn’t leave until it was engulfed and the smell of smoke was suffocating. When he was done, he left the apartment. He ran to the building down from Armanii’s and walked into the basement. From the window, he could see the smoke streaming from their apartment. He placed his fingers into his pants and rubbed his space, while examining the damage he caused. It got him beyond horny. When he reached and orgasm, he walked home to deal with life. Revenge turned him on. Within an hour, Armanii and Joseph would both be dead.
****
By the time he reached his own house, Harmony was on the couch passed out and his brother was nowhere to be found. Slowly he approached the front of the sofa where two empty bottles of vodka sat next to a half full one on the floor. The pink nightgown she wore was covered with sweat but her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail.
He was about to wake her, but the loud ring of the phone stopped him. He dashed into the kitchen and picked up the cream handset. “Hello.”
“Jayden, where were you?!” Madjesty screamed. “I been looking all over for you! Why would you leave like that? You had me scared!”
He couldn’t wait to tell him what happened and was relieved that he called. Although he wanted to tell him, he wanted to tell his mother first. “Was mommy scared? When I was gone?”
Madjesty sounded irritated. “Does it even matter?”
“I guess not.” He paused and opened the refrigerator. It was empty as usual. “Where are you?”
“I’m at the grocery store with Mrs. Brookes. She gave me a quarter so I could call you. But are you okay?”
“I’m good, but I really need you to come home now. I wanna talk to you.”
“Okay, I’ll have her bring me home later tonight. We can talk then okay?”
He tugged his ear. His voice was low. “Madjesty, I need you home now.”
Silence.
“Is ma there?” Madjesty asked.
Jayden looked at her on the sofa. “Yes.”
“Well I’ll see you later tonight. That way we can have more privacy.”
Disappointed Jayden decided to keep his secret safe and said, “Okay, Madjesty. If you say so.”
He hung up and walked back over to his drunken mother on the couch. He plopped in the chair across from her and observed her limp body. “Mommy, are you up?” She stirred a little. “I’m home, but I need you to talk to me.”
Silence.
“Did you come looking for me?” Jayden needed to know that she cared. Needed to know that in the days since he’d been gone, that his absence actually mattered.
Instead Harmony stirred again but her eyes remained shut. She was a lifeless dummy taking up air and space. What a complete waste of a soul. This event would change things in the future if she didn’t choose to be present for him. Now.
Tears rolled down Jayden’s face as he recalled the horrible events in his mind. Having to perform oral sex on a man was one thing, but now he was also questioning who he was. His mind was confused and only his mother could offer him clarity.
“Mommy, some man made me do things to him, and I need you to talk to me, please. I don’t know what to do.” He wiped his tears. “
Harmony’s eyes finally fluttered. “W-what you talking about, boy?”
He was relieved to see her eyes. “Mommy, a man made me stay in his house. That’s why I couldn’t come home. He forced me to do stuff to him and I’m scared.” He wouldn’t tell her about the fire he started. As far as he was concerned they had it coming. “Mommy, I don’t know what to do.”
Time was running out on her attention to him. Her eyes rolled back up into her head, before settling on his face. When he gripped her hand, she snatched it away. “Hand me…the bottle.” She reached for the vodka herself but she wasn’t even close. “Give it to me, Jayden.”
Jayden avoided her request and anger was simmering through his blood. “Did you hear what I told you, mommy?” Her discount of his feelings injured his soul. “I need you and I need you now. Please.”
Harmony might as well have farted in his face, because she went back to sleep. He felt extreme hate for her at the moment, yet there was something he needed to know. If she wasn’t going to answer his questions, he was going to do the research himself. So while her eyes were closed, he raised her pink slip a few inches up her thigh. His body trembled as he looked at her to be sure she hadn’t awakened. When he saw she was still sleep, he bent down and peeked at the fine hair, which covered what Jayden needed to see between her legs. Was she like him or not?
This was wrong. What was he doing? With the front of her slip resting on her stomach, he jumped up and circled the couch. He wanted to see if they were the same but was this the right way? His mind couldn’t wrap around her being that deceptive. Could he be a girl instead of a boy? There was only one way to find out. He took a deep breath and prepared to go all the way. Back on his knees, he looked between her legs again. Her eyelids were still tightly closed and he saw nothing but a wild tangled bunch of hair.
His heart rocked in his chest but he pushed forward. Taking another look at her closed eyelids, he eased a finger toward her mound. The scent of her body was shocking and caused his stomach to twirl. How did men touch her when she didn’t even clean her body? Jayden knew no matter what, when he was older, baths would be his best friend. He shook so much from what he was about to do, that he thought she’d wake up from the sound of his chattering teeth alone. But he was on a mission so he took a deep breath and pushed his finger into her pussy. When his finger was sucked into her dampness like a vacuum, his eyes flew open. She was both warm and wet. Just…like…him.
Frightened, Jayden scooted back as far away from her as possible. He could still smell her body chemicals on his finger. What’s going on? He didn’t understand. He knew he was a boy, and nobody ever disputed it. Yet in his opinion he looked just like her. Felt just like her. Did penises come later in life? After you aged? If that were the case when would he get his? His mind was wrecked and the confusion made him hate her even more. She was supposed to be present for him and able to answer his life’s questions. But she was too drunk to know he was even in the building. He had no one. Not his mother or brother.
The uncertainty about who he was, coupled with the rape, made him bitter. He stood up, walked over to the couch again and stared down at her. What a bitch! What a whore! He was so incensed he was trembling. He needed to do something so he stomped toward his room and reemerged with a dingy pillow. He held onto it tightly and slumped toward the sofa. He tried to talk himself out of it but it wasn’t working. Ready to make a move, he
stood directly over her and pressed the pillow over her nose and mouth so he could see her eyes. So he could see her die. First he pressed hard and then harder. She was right, she didn’t deserve his love. She didn’t deserve life, so he would take it from her.
He resigned to murdering her, until he looked at her closed eyes. When she slept she looked like an angel. He thought about how she took up for him in front of Sandy and her father last week. He thought about her not being able to live long enough to change. And he thought about his love for her. So he removed the pillow and threw it on the floor.
She looked stiff. Like a mannequin. He killed her. He actually killed her. He was about to pass out from grief until she took one hard breath and gasped for air. For that moment when her eyes opened, he knew that as awful as she was, he would prefer her alive than dead. She closed her eyes again and went back to sleep.
Jayden’s heart was heavier. And it was clear that all Harmony cared about was alcohol and sex, not even her own life. His absence for three days proved that he wasn’t a factor. Harmony and Armanii were of the same family. They were filthy whores who had the powers of their bodies without the knowledge of how to use them.
Needing some air, he trotted to the front door and held onto the knob. He took his mother’s raunchy scent with him. Now he would have to live with the horrible secret of what happened to him at Armanii’s, for the rest of his life.
When he walked out of the door, his head was down causing him to accidently bump into the next-door neighbor who was on the way to his house. Todd never missed a chance to get a shot of pussy. A bottle of vodka dangled in his hand as an offering to Harmony. “Your mother home?” He pushed his glasses closer to his face with his index finger. After their last altercation the kid made him nervous.
Jayden wanted to hurt him. Instead he closed the door and stepped closer to the perv. “Yeah…she here.”
“Well I want to see her.” He stepped closer.
Jayden observed the bag and then his four eyes. “I don’t drink vodka.”
He grinned. All lip, no teeth. “What you mean, kid?”
“Just what I said. I don’t drink vodka. What else you got?” He focused on his jean pockets.
“I think you’re a little confused, son. I’m here to see your mother.” He advanced forward again. “Now move out of my way.”
Jayden countered his move and blocked him. “If you want to come in, you gotta pay me.”
He took a step back, put a hand on his hip and laughed. “So what are you, some fake ass pimp now? You think you gonna just take my money? I’m a grown ass man, little boy, not a fool.”
Unmoved he said, “Do you have money or not?”
His eyebrows rose. “Wait, you’re serious aren’t you?”
“My mother may fuck you for a bottle of vodka but right now she’s drunk and passed out on the couch. When she’s like that she can’t think for herself. That’s where I come in. Now do you have money or not?”
“So you’re saying if I give you the money, you’ll let me in to fuck your mother?”
“You can do whatever you want to her. Right now I don’t give a fuck.”
He was stunned. “So she’s not even conscious?” He laughed. “You want me to fuck her when she’s drunk and don’t know what’s going on? I’m supposed to pay for that?”
“Isn’t she always that way?” He looked at Todd’s black patent leather shoes. “I know how you like to smack her around and spit in her face while she’s out. I see you all the time when you come over. You can do that all you want and I won’t say a thing. Just as long as you pay.”
His eyebrows rose. “You know what, I’m out of here.” He turned to walk away.
“Bye.”
The neighbor approached the steps and trooped down them with purpose. His mind said the little pimp in the making was crazy but his dick was already hard, just thinking about Harmony’s tight pussy. He shivered a little when he thought about how well Harmony sucked a dick, with no gag, even in her sleep. Up until this point, for free. Not being able to satisfy his craving would drive him mad and he knew it. Surely he could spare a few bucks.
So he turned back around and looked up at Jayden. His ponytail made him feminine, but his eyes were as hard as stone. “Look here kid, I got twenty bucks…nothing else.”
“I’ll take it.” He stretched out his hand and wiggled his fingers.
The neighbor walked back up the stairs, reached into his pocket and slapped the money into Jayden’s dirty palm. Grabbing a second to take it all in, he twisted the cap off of the bottle and swallowed the vodka. “You smart, kid.” He pointed at him. “Don’t know how fucked up a life you must have, to sell your own mother but I gotta give you credit for one thing, you’re bold.” He shook his head. “An attitude like that gonna get you paid or killed.” He placed one hand on his shoulder, walked past him, and entered the apartment to claim his prize.
Jayden opened the bill and examined it fully. A smiled spread across his face. He earned that paper straight up. His eyes never leaving the money, he walked down the steps. He wondered would his mother respect his game now. Whether she did or didn’t he wouldn’t give a fuck.
Something happened to him at that moment, something that would change the course of his life forever. He finally understood that as long as there were women out there who didn’t care about their bodies, or their families, that there would always be someone available to profit. And to take advantage of them. Could it be him? He wasn’t sure. But he could say if given the opportunity he would gladly take it. Making money was now a passion. The Pussy Game was now his life.
PART TWO
Present Day
Green Door – Adult Mental Health Care Clinic
Northwest, Washington DC
Christina Zahm sat behind her desk, irritated beyond belief with Harmony’s funky-inconsiderate ass. Before the day was out she planned to ensure she was in trouble with her parole officer and thrown back in prison where she belonged. While she was sure Harmony was having a ball, probably fucking some kid, while she sucked on a bottle of vodka, she had better things to do with her time. She also had other people on her list who needed her help and who were actually trying to change their lives. She was just about to call the goons on Harmony, when she entered her office unannounced, swaying from left to right.
Harmony could never be accused of being best dressed, but the outfit she wore was the worst thing she ever donned. The black cardigan sweater she rocked on her frail frame had two rips in the sleeve and a loose button, which exposed her saggy breasts. Her jeans were so filthy they were wet with mud.
She leaned up against the doorway and said, “Honey, I’m home.” The liquor in her system lit up the room like a scented candle.
One of her employees followed Harmony inside the office. “Christina, are you okay?” She asked looking at the inebriated mess in her office. “Want me to call the police?”
“I have it.” She sighed. The woman left and Christina got right down to it. “Harmony, I know you’re not stupid enough to come to our meeting drunk!” Christina got up and opened the window, even though it was hot outside and the air condition was on. She immediately picked up the phone to have Harmony taken somewhere appropriate. Hell would be good; anywhere else would be fine too. “I don’t know what your problem is, but this little act has earned you a stint back in prison.” She stabbed the keys on the phone with an attitude. “I hope whatever you were drinking was worth it.”
As Christina held the phone in her hand Harmony asked, “Do you know what today is?” She was too busy with snitching to respond. “Today is the three month anniversary of when my son was born.”
Now she had her attention. “What are you talking about, Harmony?” She held the phone firmly to her ear but curiosity was killing her. When someone answered she said, “Yes, can I have Akieon Timberlake please? I believe he is Harmony Phillips’ probation officer.”
“I had a son.” Harmony walked further into the o
ffice and threw her limp body into the chair. “He was a cute little thing, and I got to keep him for a short time.” She paused and looked into Christina’s eyes. “And you know what, it was one of the best moments in my life. And a girl like me, Miss Doctor lady, only gets a few.” Her head rolled around before stopping in place. “I miss him. So much.”
When Akieon came to the phone, Christina examined Harmony to be sure she was being truthful. The solemn look on her face answered the question. If she didn’t hear the rest of this story, she would die. “Yes, I just wanted to let you know that Harmony Phillips has been doing fine with her visits. I’ll be in touch.”
When Christina hung up, she grabbed her chart and sat across from her. The smell of alcohol lifting from her body was getting her drunk, but Harmony’s new confession was so interesting she would endure. “You never told me you had a son.”
“Not too many people know about it. I learned a long time ago that some things should be kept to yourself, and the birth of my son was just for me.” She smiled crookedly before sobbing. “Only me.” She placed a weak hand over her heart, which flapped in her lap.
Dr. Zahm opened her chart. “Tell me about it. When was the boy born?”
“Can we talk about Jayden first?"
Christina sighed, not feeling up for her games. But if hearing about Jayden first would open up the doorway to what she wanted to know now, she’d walk through it. “Sure, let’s talk about Jayden.” She scanned the chart. “When we last spoke, you said Madjesty raped her. Can you tell me what happened next?”
“When they were kids they use to call me mother monster. They thought I didn’t know but I always did. But when Jayden was raped, and some other things in her life happened after that, it became apparent that I wasn’t the only monster in the family.”
