by A. J. Downey
“What shall we do in the meantime?” Cell asked, giving me a lascivious wink.
I colored deeply and was saved by Melody saying, “Certainly not whatever is on your pervy mind!” Although she said it right behind me without my knowing she was there so it scared the bejesus out of me. I jumped and let out this god awful, little high pitched yelp before I clapped both hands over my mouth.
Cell nearly fell off his bench laughing while Blue, bless his heart, tried in vain to suppress his smile. The difference between the both of them was like night and day. While Cell laughed at me, Blue’s smile encouraged me to laugh with him. I dropped my hands from my mouth and let out an explosive breath.
“Melody, you’d like to scare the life out of me!” She dropped onto the bench beside me and knocked her shoulder into mine.
“Had to make sure you were awake and that these guys weren’t boring you half to death.”
“I am in absolutely no danger of falling asleep when it comes to these two, that’s for sure,” I said with a smile.
“We were going to head home, the boys are getting fussy. I think they’ve reached their limit on fun for one day.”
“Aw, well give them my love and you guys be safe.” I hugged her and she hugged me back hard.
“See you on Monday,” she said and got up.
“See you Monday,” I agreed.
She left and I turned back to the two men I was keeping company with. Blue stood up and stepped out of the picnic table’s bench, gathering up our plates and trash while Duracell slung one leg over the bench and dug in the inside pocket of his jacket beneath his colorfully patched vest that Melody had once told me was called a cut.
He fished out a pack of cigarettes and shook one out putting it between his lips. Replacing the pack, he produced one of those colorful, disposable plastic lighters and flicked it with his thumb. I watched him, and although I wasn’t a fan of smokers at all, I had to say, there was something both attractive and appealing about watching Cell light his cigarette. I don’t know if it was the surety and confidence, but just watching him go through the motions… despite his attitude, he was one seriously attractive man.
“You won’t be sorry if you do it you know.” His voice was strained with how he held the smoke in his lungs and he blew up and out towards the sky, letting out a plume of smoke to the free, clean, air.
I twisted my lips and didn’t say anything, but I couldn’t help but think to myself about how much Cell reminded me of a little boy who ripped the wings off of flies. He held a streak of cruelty. I’d seen it, in the way he talked to and treated Blue… I was afraid of that cruelty turning on me, I knew it would. Knew it down to my very soul that to get involved with Cell meant accepting some measure of pain.
My eyes drifted away from him and back to Blue. He was the real reason I even entertained this foolish notion in the first place. Something about him called to me on a deep level, I was just afraid to pick up the line.
I’d been hurt so many times before, so often… It was true, I made terrible choices when it came to men. Wore my heart on my sleeve and gave of it too freely, receiving nothing in return. I was always some kind of stepping stone for the men in the relationships I’d been in before. Giving my all only to have them leave and move on to the next big thing. Sometimes moving on to the next big thing before they’d even gotten out my door.
I was so very afraid of the same thing happening here. I mean, what if I fell hopelessly in love with one or the other of them, only to find out I was just another conquest? Another notch on the bedpost? I just didn’t know if I could go through that yet again.
I pulled my hands which were resting on the edge of the table self-consciously back into my lap. I usually hid the scars on my wrists with sweat bands that matched my uniform at work, but today, I had my mother’s silver and turquoise bangle bracelets stacked on my left wrist and a fashionable leather cuff with an owl on it around the other today, while I was out here in the world.
“You don’t strike me as the type that gets out much,” Cell said, taking a long drawl off his cigarette.
“I’m not, usually,” I confessed. Blue dropped onto the bench next to me, straddling it to listen to what I was going to say. Duracell propped his elbows on the table and leaned in, his cigarette clasped between his index and middle finger, the hand that held it casually holding the other, loosely clasped fist. It was rugged, handsome, the way he held himself. I think the real appealing thing about it was how his deep brown eyes, lightened with hints of caramel, wandered over my face; his own expression passive but interested… he was really listening.
I shifted a bit on my own seat and felt compelled to continue, so I did, saying, “My mom and dad would bring me to this fair yearly. Some of the best memories I have of my mom were made here… well, not here, the Harvest Festival has moved a few times, but, um… yeah.”
“Where is your mom now?” Cell asked taking a drag.
“She died when I was fifteen… breast cancer…”
“Shit, I’m sorry to hear that.”
I nodded and didn’t say anything. While Cell’s words sounded sincere, there was no change to his expression. His face remaining thoughtful, and listening; only in such a way that I would kill to know just what it was he had going on in there. Something told me that I really didn’t want to know.
It was Blue’s hand on my knee, giving it a squeeze that made me jump. When I looked into his clear gray eyes I saw everything that was missing from Duracell’s. Sympathy and empathy both radiated from his expression. He took back his hand quickly from my bare skin and I immediately missed its reassurance… keenly.
“Anyways,” I murmured after the pregnant pause, “I come every year. I can’t help it, it makes me happy.”
“You should always do what makes you happy,” Cell said.
“Oh yeah?”
“Sure? It ain’t exactly living if you don’t.” He winked at me and got up, stepping out from the picnic table’s bench and giving a stretch.
Blue placed his hand on my lower back and smiled saying, “Let’s grab a beer and find a good spot.”
I smiled and leaned back into the stolen touch saying, “That sounds like a fine idea.”
Blue got up and untangled himself from the picnic table and I followed suit, putting my unicorn beneath my arm and accepting his hand to balance better as I stepped over the bench. He let it go, shyly, before I could tighten my grip to let him know I liked it and that it was nice.
“Find a spot, I’ll grab the beer,” Cell said and left Blue and I to find a table around the edge of the dance floor that’d been laid down. The tables were overturned whiskey barrels with roughhewn barstools. All of them made out of good, old fashioned and in some cases, reclaimed wood.
We found one of the last tables available that had three stools and took our seats, the band just beginning to warm up, the fiddle player drawing his bow across the strings, fingers dancing along its neck, pausing here and there to adjust tension. A hum of excitement reverberated through my spine as the banjo player joined the fiddler. There were no microphones save for the ones for the singers. There were no electric guitars or amplifiers… this was down home country blue grass about to happen and I loved it.
It was generally the only time I listened to it, having always preferred the real thing to a recording. Just something about a recording, even with how clear they were now, didn’t do the music any justice. It needed to be raw, be live, with the light autumn breeze and the scent of wood and grass and yes, even beer.
Cell found us, three bottles between his large, scarred and work rough hands. He set them down around the silly rainbow maned unicorn which I had sat on the center of our barrel top. He parsed them out around the unicorn’s butt between the three of us, one to me, one to Blue and one to himself.
“Cheers,” he declared and held his bottle up. I raised mine and Blue did likewise and we clinked the necks together.
“To new beginnings,” Blue murmu
red and I kind of like that.
He was right, things had turned some kind of invisible corner for the three of us. It wasn’t I was just their waitress anymore… I wasn’t their girlfriend or lover by any stretch of the imagination, but I definitely felt comfortable with the label of ‘friend’ and who knew about the rest?
“To new beginnings,” I murmured in echo and I drank from the neck of the Budweiser bottle. The crisp, sharp taste of barley and hops flooded my mouth, and I felt myself loosen up just a little without even the benefit of the alcohol hitting my system. Not that I planned on having more than the one.
“Alright, alright!” The singer of the band said into his microphone. “Can y’all hear me?”
A cry went up from the crowd around the floor with some applause, a few sharp whistles split the air and those I could live without. Something about the sharp, high pitched sound made me tense and grated along my nerves like nails across a blackboard got to most people.
The singer introduced his band and without much further ado, launched into a lively first song. We laughed, dancers took the floor and we drank our beers and clapped along. Duracell stood, and someone asked if they could take and use his stool. He nodded and said sure and tapped his foot along to the music.
Blue sat back on his stool, one foot planted firmly on the ground, one on the bottom rung between the spindle legs. He tapped an accompanying rhythm against the edge of the seat with his hands and his smile was both perfect and infectious. He turned to look at me and when he saw me smiling too, his grew even wider.
He held out his hand and I took it, letting him pull me to my feet and then we were dancing. Blue spun me around the dance floor and it was as if we were the only two people in the world. The feeling was amazing, and I let the good in. He kept his hands respectful, the weight of his palm against my lower back and just above my hip sending a tingling sensation through my body.
He applied the barest amount of pressure, drawing me closer as we stepped. His other hand, holding mine, was warm, the palm calloused, his grip light and careful. We were a scant few inches apart and I wondered what it would feel like to tuck myself against his chest and to take shelter in the front of his body. I missed closeness. I missed that feeling of being safe and cuddled and cherished.
You could have it times two if you would only give it a try… a voice from inside my own head whispered. It was a tempting offer, one that I didn’t want to immediately reject but one that just felt so outside of the ordinary, so strange… I mean… what would people think? What would my dad think?
The song ended and we parted clapping and laughing. The band struck up a slower almost waltz and I felt him before I saw him. A presence at my back, the thrum of almost electricity scattering along my skin, prickling through my clothes. Duracell’s presence was electric, no pun intended, but it was the truth. He was like a tempest. One that you watched come up and over the horizon, moving towards you, but you were frozen in its path.
“Can I have the next one?” he asked and I fought down the urge to shiver. His voice was pitched low, velvet and almost seductive. I swallowed and I didn’t wish to offend anyone so I nodded. His hands briefly landed on my hips and he dragged fingertips along my lower back as he came around my front.
I placed my hands on his upper arms, the leather of his jacket cooler than I expected it to be. It was moving well into dusk, the sun just a fiery glimmer over the tree tops to the west. I swallowed hard and Cell swayed, his hands warm on my hips where my cutoff shorts covered them. I let him coax me down the dancefloor and felt drawn in. As if he were the spider and I? I were the fly.
“You like to dance?” he asked.
“Not usually, just at things like this…”
“What do you like to do then?”
“I um, I like to um…” I felt myself blush. I flustered so easily around Cell. He wasn’t easy to talk to like Blue.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” he said with a charming smile. I looked around for Blue and he was back at our table, his beer raised to his lips as he watched us warily over the bottle.
“You like my boy Blue.” I looked up at Cell sharply but there was no accusation in his eyes, no jealousy. “It’s okay, he’s easy to like. Sometimes I have to work a little harder at being likeable… it is what it is.” He shrugged nonchalantly and I felt myself relax marginally.
“You… you can be awfully intense,” I admitted and he nodded.
“Intense, I like that. Yeah, you’re right, that’s totally me.” He grinned and I felt some more tension ease. I returned the smile.
“What do you like to do?” I asked, trying not to let the conversation turn back to me. I just didn’t know if I felt comfortable sharing things with Cell. I didn’t get the same feeling from him that I did from Blue.
He laughed a little, “Well, I like to ride and work on my bike, I like to hang with my brothers and see what kind of trouble we can get up to, and I guess I like to dance with pretty girls at county fairs.”
I blushed at that last one and looked away. Cell laughed but it wasn’t mocking. He asked me, “A little too cheesy; coming on a little strong?”
“No,” I answered, shaking my head, blushing like mad. I didn’t think I could or would ever be considered pretty by anyone.
“You know, I sure would like to meet the man who dulled your sparkle, Hayley.” I looked up at him sharply but didn’t know what to say. I swallowed hard and he gave me a look that chilled me right down to the center of my being…
“Why?” I managed to croak.
“Because I’d love to break his face for it.”
I swallowed hard and felt myself leaning away from him slightly and suddenly Blue was there, at our side. Cell’s charming smile was back in place and he spun me back into Blue’s arms. I looked up at Blue who smiled down at me and I tried very hard to decide what exactly Cell had meant by what he’d said.
“He likes you,” Blue said finally. I looked back at our table where Duracell stood drinking the rest of his beer, arm slung comically over my unicorn’s back. He winked at me and I felt fear. I didn’t quite resist the urge then. I closed the gap between me and Blue, and took a little shelter from the chill against him.
“I’m not sure how I feel about that,” I said honestly and Blue’s face lost all humor.
“Trust me, Hayley, you would much rather have him like you than not.”
“That’s not comforting in the slightest, Blue.”
“No, but it’s true.”
I was silent for a long time while Blue searched my face and I searched his right back, his expression softened and he murmured to me as the song came to a close, “Cell is a hard man to love, Hayley, but if you do and you managed to get him to respect you back, you will never in a million years be safer or want for anything. Once he’s committed, he’s committed for life. That’s just how he is.”
The song ended and people stepped away from one another applauding. Blue and I simply stilled. I thought about what he’d just told me and when the next song started we just sort of started moving again, although it wasn’t to dance it was to return to our table. The air was cooling and Cell picked up and handed me my half empty beer which was still cold enough to be palatable.
I drank some giving Cell a nod and took my seat, hooking the heel of my boot on one of the bottom rungs of the stool. Blue stood this time, as Cell had taken his seat and we just sort of sat for a moment. The sun had finished it’s descent beyond the horizon and the evening was rapidly cooling, the weather behaving more like autumn than it had during the day.
“You cold?” Cell asked and I nodded.
“Getting there. I’m also, sad to say, getting tired.”
“We all have to be up early,” Blue murmured and he was right.
“I keep thinking today is Saturday,” I said shaking my head.
Cell barked a laugh, “I like your style of thinking, darling, but nope…” he let out a gusty sigh, “It’s Sunday. Back to the gri
nd in the morning.”
I let out a harsh sigh of my own and finished off my beer. It was a good half an hour walk from where we were to the parking lot and I wasn’t even slightly buzzed. I looked around for the trash and spotted someone with one of the heavy duty gray fifty-five gallon trash cans on a wheeled platform and a five gallon bucket.
I watched the young man pour bottles that were barely dregs into the bucket and toss the empties into the trashcan before pulling it along behind him to the next table. It was honest work. Hard, but honest. I smiled at him when he came near and pulled out bottles from the table. I felt the guys’ eyes watching me as I smiled at the young man and emptied our own bottles and threw them away. He smiled at me and ducked his head saying, “Thank you; ma’am.”
I returned to where Blue and Cell waited and Cell was once again watching me with that calculating look of his.
“Well that was right nice of you,” he said in a bit of a mock country twang.
I didn’t take the bait and simply said, “It was nothing.” He picked up my stuffed unicorn that he had won me, waved it back and forth making it trot on air and handed it to me. I couldn’t help but laugh and took it from him, hugging it to me.
“Thank you for the day, Hayley,” Blue said softly. I turned and couldn’t not smile wider, hugging the unicorn to my chest tighter, the chill starting to get to me.
“Thank you for asking, and thank you both for the dances.”
I jumped when the warm, heavy leather of Cell’s jacket enveloped my shoulders. Blue smiled and Cell said, once again, in that low, sexy growl just beside my ear, “What kind of assholes you take us for, darlin’? You didn’t honestly think we’d let you walk to your car alone did you?” he chuckled and straightened up and Blue slung an arm over my shoulders, steering me away from the dancing, music, and the light cast by the naked full sized bulbs strung back and forth over the plywood dancefloor.
