“We’ll find the solution, Loris,” he said. “Once the troubles have been dealt with I’ll devote myself to nothing else. And when the curse is gone, I vow upon my life that I shall love you as no other woman has ever been loved. I’ll do everything possible to make you happy.”
“I know you will,” she whispered, gazing into the fire. “There’s always been something inside me …” She stopped, her brows drawing together slightly in thought. “Since that night at the Red Fox. In the alley. And later, when you gambled for me against Gregor Foss. It seems rather foolish now. Perhaps it was magic, or the unoliaeth. But there was a feeling that grew up in me as you spoke, though I thought you quite mad. A hopefulness. For the first time since my father had died. And it’s never left me. Despite everything, over all these years, and all that’s happened between us.” She lifted a hand to lightly touch the place over her breast where her heart lay. The gleaming band of Welsh gold that he’d placed upon her finger hours earlier shone in the firelight at the movement. “It’s still here,” she said, and looked at him. “Do you think, Kian, that it might be love?”
He clenched his free hand to keep it from shaking. “Don’t you know, Loris?” he asked, his voice not quite as steady as he might wish it to be.
She shook her head. “It’s not like any other feeling I’ve had for anyone else,” she told him. “I can’t identify it. I loved my parents and Ffinian in one way, and Dyfed in another. I always told myself that what I felt for you was only aggravation or anger or even fury. But I don’t know what this other emotion is, save that it’s grown much stronger since I left Tylluan. When I saw you standing in my grandfather’s study, I knew a joy so strong that I couldn’t help but weep with happiness. I felt whole again, and I knew everything would be all right, because you would make it so.” She looked at him once more. “But is that love?”
He had to swallow before his voice would work. “I hope so.”
“Is it what you feel for me?” she asked.
“What I feel for you,” he said, setting his glass aside and rising to his feet, “is a madness that often threatens to overwhelm me. Every moment when you were gone from Tylluan I felt the loss. It was empty, all of it. I longed for you to come home,” he said, holding a hand out to her. Loris put her own glass down and set her fingers into his open palm. His hand closed and gently tugged her upward, to stand before him. “If you had suddenly walked into the room where I was and railed at me, I would have been content. But I have always been glad of your fury, for it has had beneath it the passion that I dream of hearing in your voice when your heart has at last become mine.” Slowly, he drew her nearer. “And there’s something more that you bring to life in me,” he said.
“What?”
“Frustration,” he replied, and lifted one hand to cradle her cheek. “Because I can’t do more than this”—he kissed her tenderly but briefly—“without giving you pain. And because I don’t know when the day, or night, will come when I can touch you and impart only pleasure.”
She held his gaze and then, very slowly, lifted her hand and stroked his cheek with her fingertips. It was the simplest of caresses, and yet it sent a shiver of delight coursing through Kian’s entire body.
“Perhaps we’ll find another path to pleasure,” she murmured, pulling him down to meet her kiss. “One to keep us sane until the curse is gone.”
The cook whom Niclas had lent Kian prepared a special dinner in honor of the newly married couple’s first night together as man and wife. Malachi had earlier sent over several bottles of the best wine in Mervaille’s cellars, including some French champagne that Kian and Loris drank as they lingered over the excellent meal. All in all, it was a pleasant end to an eventful day.
Kian escorted Loris to her bedchamber afterward with the intention of doing nothing more, regretfully, than kissing her and bidding her a good night’s slumber. He didn’t dare cross the room’s threshold, lest he do something that might unintentionally cause her pain. Still, he thought as they neared the door, it was a damnable way to end their wedding night.
But Loris turned to him when they came to a stop and, before Kian could open his mouth, set her hands upon his chest and said, “I took the liberty of laying something special out on your bed before we went down for dinner. Give me a few minutes to change, as well, before you join me.” Then she went up on her toes and kissed him lightly and disappeared inside her door.
Kian stood where he was for a long moment, staring at the closed door and wondering whether Loris wasn’t laboring under the false idea that marriage had somehow changed the way the curse worked. But no. She knew that far more than a mere ceremony must take place before the Guardians lifted the blight that kept them from physically coming together. Still, she had anticipated him coming to her for some purpose, and Kian, both intrigued and pleased, moved toward his bedchamber door to fulfill her bidding.
Chapter Twenty-One
The delicate gown and robe that Julia had presented Loris with that morning before the wedding fit perfectly. Or, at least, she believed it did. Elen, who had helped Loris to don the thin, lacy garment, assured her that there was no other way to put it on, and Loris decided she must be right. If she tried to put the cream-colored satin on the other way, most of the front of her would be entirely exposed, and the gown was already revealing enough as it was.
When will he come? she wondered, looking toward the closed door that connected their chambers. Elen had departed immediately after helping Loris don the fragile outfit and relieve her hair from the tight arrangement it had been put in for the wedding. It had been brushed out and left undone, and then the grinning servant girl had gone.
Loris looked about the room to make certain all was ready. Earlier she had dimmed the oil lamps, leaving the room lit only by the fire and a few flickering candles. The bedcovers had been turned down and the pillows fluffed in anticipation. She cast a glance toward the large bed, wondering if perhaps it looked more obvious than inviting. Kian would probably laugh at her, but perhaps, she thought, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. A dose of his teasing just now might be the very best remedy for putting her foolish nerves in order.
A soft knock came on the adjoining door, and Loris stiffened. Turning, she watched as it opened to reveal Kian standing on the other side, garbed in the men’s royal blue silk robe that Julia had also given Loris, explaining that it was a gift for Kian that would be far better given by his wife than a female cousin-in-law. There was a matching pair of silk trousers, which Kian had donned, and slippers, which he had not. Kian stood barefoot, his hair loose and falling about his shoulders, gazing down at himself with plain amusement.
“I feel like some kind of Eastern potentate,” he said. “Where the devil did you get these?”
Loris flushed with embarrassment. “They’re supposed to be all the rage,” she said. “At least, that’s what I’ve been told. Are they not comfortable? They look wonderful on you.” Which was true, for she thought he looked marvelously handsome and fine in such a half-dressed state. His chest, partly revealed by the robe, was bare, showing smooth, golden skin. Loris pressed her hands together and strove to swallow down her nerves.
It didn’t help, for he was looking at her now.
“Loris,” he murmured, moving a few steps toward her. “You’re … beautiful. I …” He shut his eyes briefly and gave a slight shake of his head. “I shouldn’t come in. You know that we can’t—”
Loris hurried across the room and shut the adjoining door, closing him in.
“I’ve been looking at this room more carefully,” she said quickly, her voice a touch too high-pitched. “It’s not so awful as you made it sound earlier. Some new paint and curtains will make it look very well. The carpet is still good, and the furniture can easily be repaired. Do you recall how long I labored to sew all the little tears in the upholstery at Tylluan?”
“Loris—”
“Do you truly like what I’m wearing?” she asked, taking his arm and pullin
g him farther into the room. “Julia gave it to me as a wedding gift. I confess,” she said, coming to a stop and looking down at herself, “that it seemed rather naughty at first, but then it occurred to me that you’ve seen me in far less.” She swallowed again, her face heating, unable to so much as look at him. “At least once.”
“Loris,” he said again, setting his hands on her arms and drawing her closer. “You not only look beautiful, but very alluring. If I could stay with you the night, I’d be the happiest man alive, just to be able to remove this delightful outfit ribbon by ribbon. I’m going to dream of doing so until the curse is lifted, I imagine.”
She lifted her gaze to look at him. “I dream, too,” she whispered. “Of that night. Of that one time we had together. Every night since, I’ve dreamed of it.”
“As have I,” he murmured. “But until the curse is lifted, dreaming is all we can do. You can feel the pain of my touch already, can you not?” He pulled his hands away.
Loris lifted her own and very deliberately pushed away the edges of the silk robe Kian wore. She placed both palms flat against the bare skin of his chest and gazed into his eyes. “Your touch gives me pain, that’s true,” she said. “But one thing we’ve never considered, never asked, is whether mine gives pain to you. You’ve never complained of the burning, even when I have.”
He stared at her for a moment, then lowered his gaze to her hands.
“Does it?” she asked.
He lifted his head, shaking it. When their eyes met, she could see that his were beginning to fill with understanding.
“I’ve never touched you very much or for long,” she said. “But it seems to me that the curse doesn’t work both ways. You’re not feeling anything yet, are you?” She moved her hands over him in a purposeful caress that made Kian suck in a sudden breath. “A tingling pain? A burning?”
“No.” His voice was strained. “It just feels … very good.”
She smiled. “You’ve always been the one to do all the touching. Now, I think, it’s my turn.”
Kian’s breathing was unsteady now. “It sounds delightful,” he managed. “But it’s hardly fair to you.”
Her answer was to slide her hands up to the shoulders of the robe and slowly slip it down his arms.
“You touched me that night,” she said. “I scarce had a chance to do the same. But that was because I felt so uncertain when I thought you were Liw.” Her gaze was fixed on his bare chest. She had seen him like this before, at Tylluan, when he’d removed his shirt while undertaking difficult labor. Loris had always thought him beautiful to gaze upon, but never more so than this moment. She ran her hands lightly over the smooth, muscled skin. He was warm and silky beneath her touch, and the groan of pleasure he bit back only increased the sense of delight she felt. “I’m not uncertain with you, Kian,” she murmured. “I want to touch you. Everywhere. Just as you touched me.”
Leaning forward, she set her lips to his bare flesh. Kian shivered and groaned again, which only encouraged her to continue. Her hands kept moving over him, caressing his shoulders and arms, his waist and stomach, and her tongue explored the hollows of his neck. His breathing had grown so harsh that it made her feel wonderfully powerful.
“No, you can’t touch me,” she said when his hands came to rest on her waist. “Remember?” Loris pulled away. “This is my night to do all the touching. Come and lie down.”
Kian didn’t resist as she led him to the bed or when she bade him to lie down in the middle. He did talk to himself as Loris divested herself of both her robe and gown, saying, “I’m dreaming. I know I am. But if I wake up now I’ll bash my head against the wall.”
“Does this feel like a dream?” she asked, crawling up onto the bed beside him. She set a hand against his cheek and slowly brought her mouth down to kiss his. Against his lips she whispered, “We’re husband and wife now. We can do as we please. Isn’t that so?”
“Anything,” he agreed huskily. “Everything.” He gazed longingly at her naked figure, and his hands curled into fists. “But I’m not sure whether this is pleasure … or torture.”
She chuckled. “Both.”
Rising to her knees, she moved lower and ran her hands boldly over the silk trousers that he still wore. He shuddered when her fingers slid lightly—so lightly—over his swollen manhood, and his hips arched upward, off the mattress. Loris smiled and set her fingers to the ties, then to ridding him of the garment altogether.
“Oh, Kian,” she said, gazing down at him, seeing him completely for the very first time. “You’re so beautiful.” Her hand touched his bare thigh, and he sucked in a taut breath. “So very beautiful.”
Kian found the words, and the expression on her lovely face, to be more than a little heartening. He had lain naked with countless women in his youth and had always felt sure of his own charms. But he had never before truly cared what women thought of him before or wished to please one so greatly. Loris was his wife, for now and forever. That she should find him pleasing, even beautiful, was deeply reassuring.
She kissed him again, touching his lips with her tongue until they parted to let her have her way. He moaned beneath the sensual onslaught and was obliged to grab fistfuls of the bedcovers to keep from reaching for her. Then Loris drew away, and her lips slid to one of his ears, the movement sending her hair sliding in a silken caress across his face. It seemed impossible, suddenly, for him to draw in enough breath.
“The thing you don’t know about me,” she murmured against the sensitive skin of his ear, causing him to shiver with pleasure, “is that I’m not quite so ignorant about the ways of men and women as you may think.” Her tongue touched the tip of his lobe, teasing, and then moved upward to follow the line of curves in the shell and, finally, dipped lightly into the ear itself. The sensation wrought a sound from him that Kian had never heard before. He’d always been the master of his sexual experiences before now, save perhaps for his first youthful encounter. Loris made him feel as helpless as a callow youth.
“You see,” she said, pushing up to look down at him, “during those years when I lived at the Red Fox, I was often obliged to fetch and carry for the upstairs girls. Especially when the serving girls were busy.” She moved lower, rubbing herself against him as she went. “And especially when the upstairs girls were too busy with customers to do for themselves.”
Her lips traversed the soft skin of his neck, then moved lower so that her tongue could trace a line over each of his nipples before licking down the length of his stomach. She kissed his belly before looking up at him again.
“I was the one who took up the trays of wine and ale and food. And other things that they needed, as well.” Her hand slid lower, and her fingers closed gently about his manhood, squeezing gently. “I saw all kinds of things. Learned all kinds of things.”
Kian bit back a moan and shook his head, wondering if he was going to survive until daylight. This was definitely the closest thing to torture that he’d ever undergone.
Her fingers slid up and down, though not, he was aware enough to note, with any kind of familiarity. As pleasurable as her touch was, it was unskilled—which only made it more delightful, for she touched everywhere, seeking, learning the length and feel of him.
“You’re trembling,” she murmured, sounding fascinated by what she was doing to him. “Your whole body is tense. That’s just how I felt, too, when you touched me. Completely beneath your power, but it was so wonderful.”
She slid lower, until her lips hovered just over his hardened member. He could feel her breath on him and shut his eyes tightly. He was going to die of pleasure in another moment. He knew it.
“Loris.” The word came out as a plea.
“Yes, love,” she murmured, and moved even closer. He could almost feel her lips on him. Her tongue. The loud groan he’d been trying to hold back escaped, and he clenched his teeth in a vain attempt to silence it.
Her lips brushed against his skin, once, twice, and the pleasure exploded. H
e shouted out, unable to stop himself, while his body helplessly writhed and shuddered in ecstasy. Loris had moved to press herself against him, holding tightly. Afterward, when he lay still, save for the harsh breathing that still wracked his body, she kissed him, his face and lips, and murmured words of love.
Several long minutes passed before Kian came to himself, before his eyes focused to find Loris gazing down at him—smiling—and looking very pleased with herself. In fact, it seemed very much as if she’d like to try doing it all over again. Kian understood the feeling. Next to the pleasure of sexual release itself was knowing that one had the power to impart that pleasure—especially to someone one loved. He’d experienced it, too, when he’d given Loris the same gift months ago. But another such episode just now would surely kill him off for good, Kian thought. It had also been the single most exceptional physical experience of his life; he wanted a little time to savor it.
“Thank you,” he said, though the words sounded woefully foolish to his ears. Still, Loris smiled a little more widely. “I love you.” He reached up a hand to touch her face. “I wish that I might—”
She stopped him with a kiss. “There’s no need to say it,” she murmured. “I understand. I know the curse will be lifted soon, Kian. Until then, we shall have to share what pleasure we can.”
He frowned. “It isn’t fair to you that I should receive all the pleasure, and you none.”
“I suppose you’ll have to find ways to make it up to me, then,” she told him. “By being an exemplary husband in every way. For example”—she ran a finger in a lazy circle over a small area of his chest—“you might promise to take me home to Tylluan the day after tomorrow.”
“Loris—”
“Or,” she continued, “you might tell me the truth about the troubles there. The full truth, whether you believe it will needlessly worry me or not.”
Touch of Passion Page 30
