“What kind of a sister are you?!” she yelled, her face distorted into a red mask of pure hatred, her chest heaving. “You’re nothing but a witch! You’re glad we broke up, aren’t you? Aren’t you?” She continued pummelling her without mercy.
Samantha pushed back, clawing at her, but her sister’s strength, fuelled by anger and hurt, proved too much for her. And she had nothing to say to defend herself. How could she deny the truth? Her sister would see through it anyway. “You’re hurting me. Get off me!”
Darlene appeared. “Stop this!” She swore, and pulled Veronica off. “Sweet Jesus in the garden, what has gotten into you, Ronnie?”
She gripped Veronica by the wrists while she struggled to break free, yet just as abruptly, the fight went out of her. Her eyes swam with tears. Without another word, she fled into the house. The resounding wham of her bedroom door echoed from the windows out into the back yard.
Darlene bent down to pick up Samantha’s glasses and handed them to her, cursing under her breath. “So, are you going to tell me what the hell that was all about?” Her eyes bore into Samantha’s, her hands on her hips. “Or leave me in the dark as usual?”
Briefly, Samantha explained to her mother what had happened. “Ben broke up with her. Or at least he wants the two of them to cool things off for a while.” She was careful not to mention her own feelings concerning Ben or her influence in his decision to make the break. She did say, however, that she believed Veronica wanted more of a commitment than he did, which was where the trouble originated.
Darlene frowned, rubbing her temples. “So she’s freaking out because you knew what he was planning to do? And you didn’t tell her?”
Samantha hung her head. “I didn’t know for sure until today. So I didn’t have time.” She rose from the wicker lounger and picked up her book, inspecting it for damage.
“No other reason?”
She looked at her mother. Darlene might be a lush, Samantha thought, but she was a darned perceptive one. “What other possible reason could there be? Because Ben happened to be my friend first? And he opened up to me? Would that count?”
“All I know is you shouldn’t be fighting like two strange wildcats. Sammie, you’re sisters, for chrissakes. You shouldn’t let a boy you barely know come between you like that.”
“Why don’t you tell her, then? Who’s the one bleeding here? Do you know how many times she’s made fun of me and called me names?” Her voice caught in her throat. “And it started long before we ever met Ben or moved to St. John’s. One second I’m a freak, the next I’m a loser or a crooked brat. I can’t even read a book without being picked on by her. Is that your idea of a loving sister?”
“Of course she shouldn’t treat you like that, no.” Darlene’s face clouded. She paused. “Know what I think? Ronnie is jealous of you.”
Samantha threw back her head and laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding me! What do I have that the Blonde Goddess could possibly be jealous of?”
Darlene looked away, her gaze fixed on something beyond the peeling backyard fence. “I never told anyone this before, and I’m not proud of it, but there was a time I was intensely jealous of my own younger sister.”
“Aunt Donna? Why?”
“She got better marks than I ever did, for one thing. Without studying all the time either. She was always smarter at anything she turned her hand to. And when we were in our school choir together, she could sing better than I could. She always got picked to sing the solo at our concerts.”
“Probably got more attention because of it, eh?”
Darlene nodded. “You better believe it. And of course, she was the one who left Calmer and the rest of us behind for good, to go to university.”
“To become a journalist.” Samantha wondered how much her mother regretted dropping out of nursing school to get married all those years ago.
“That was one of the reasons she left.” Her mother turned to face Samantha. “The point I’m trying to make is this: You have many talents, Sammie, which your sister doesn’t have. You can draw. You have a knack for photography. You’re well read, and you do better in school. Don’t you think Ronnie is aware of all that?”
“But, Momma, I don’t do any of those things to hurt her!” She dropped herself back into the lounger with a sigh.
Darlene smiled sadly. “I know that. I hope she realizes it eventually. Just like I did with Donna.”
“And in the meantime, I’m supposed to lie down and take her abuse?”
“Of course not. Just stay out of her hair for a while. She’s hurting a lot right now. She needs time to heal.”
Samantha shook her head, leaned back, and closed her eyes as her mother went inside.
Huh. Don’t we all?
***
The next morning before anyone else woke up, Samantha caught the earliest bus to the Mall to pick up her latest set of developed photos and to purchase more film. On the bus ride home, flipping through the pictures, she found the snaps that Kalen had taken that night the four of them ordered pizza.
Smiling, she studied Ben in one of them. She couldn’t tell from the angle who or what he was looking at, but he had a broad grin on his face. Looking at Ronnie, no doubt. He looked positively captivated by her, she thought. How much things had changed in such a short time. Others showed her sister laughing, drinking beer, and chatting with Ben while she’d looked on.
The last photograph caught her by surprise. She peered at it closely, noticing how soft Ben’s eyes looked and the playful half-smile on his lips. He was looking directly into Samantha’s face and she was staring right back. She appeared to be telling him something. She absolutely loved it because, if she folded the edge of it back, Veronica’s shoulder next to Ben disappeared. It looked like they were the only two in the photo and there was no one else around.
When she got home and pushed open the door, her mother and sister were still nowhere to be seen, and the phone was ringing. She was startled to hear Ben’s voice.
“Hi, Samantha. Doing anything?”
“No, not at the moment. Why?”
There was a short pause. “Can we meet?” he whispered.
“Where?”
“Bannerman Park, in half an hour? I’ll be near the entrance.”
Samantha considered his request for a moment before telling him yes, she would meet him. She wondered at the timing of the call and what it might mean. Had Ben changed his mind about calling it quits with Veronica yesterday? Or was it something else? He wanted to see her. He wanted to meet with her. Samantha. A shiver of excited joy in anticipation of the possibilities coursed through her body as she scrambled to get ready.
Entering the park shortly after, Samantha’s excitement changed to cautious doubt. Most likely, Ben only wanted to know how Veronica was doing, and who better to ask than her sister? He probably wants to ease his guilty conscience, to know how Veronica is handling the breakup. He only wants information from me. Don’t expect anything else, you silly twit.
Her gaze sweeping over the round and colourful flowerbeds that dotted the park, Samantha spotted him sprawled on a bench, shaded by a stand of towering elm trees. When he saw her, he jumped to his feet, closing the distance between them in a few long strides.
“Thanks for coming.” Ben reached for her hand and clasped it.
“No problem. Are you okay?” She squeezed his hand back to reassure him.
He looked at the ground; the dark fringe of his eyelashes fanned his tanned face. After what seemed an interminable moment, he gazed into her eyes. “I messed up big time, Samantha. I really hurt her, didn’t I?”
Samantha said nothing. She couldn’t deny it.
“Of course I did. But I had no choice but to be honest with her. As much as I liked her at first, everything changed for me. We’re not a good fit. You know it too, don’t you?”
All she could manage was a mute nod.
“We never should’ve gotten so involved. Our personalities clash, you know? I c
ouldn’t go on keeping up the charade that it was—”
“I understand. You’re preaching to the choir.”
He looked at her fondly, pulling her closer. “I know you do. I should have realized it from the very beginning. You get me in ways Veronica never could.”
He held her in his arms, hugging her to his chest. Samantha felt the thumping of his heart through the thin cotton of his T-shirt. Tentatively, he placed a finger under her chin, tipping her face to his. His lips approached hers ever so gently, grazing them with a gentleness that left her weak. A deep tremble overtook her as his mouth grew firmer, more insistent. And even though the tender spot on her lip still lingered from her sister’s blow yesterday, she didn’t want the kiss to ever end. Was it possible she was sleeping and this was all a dream? Or had her dream come true?
“You two are so busted.”
Ben pulled back from her, dropping his arms. Samantha jerked around. A couple of yards away near the park entrance stood Mandy and Gina, staring at them. Mandy wore a smug grin, while Gina shook her head.
“Two-timing with the little sister,” Gina said, arms crossed. “Veronica will certainly find this bit of news interesting. Don’t you think, Mandy?”
“Without a doubt,” Mandy giggled, a cigarette propped in her lips. “One Calmer girl not enough for you, Swift?” she asked, her tone bordering on jubilation. “Wow, you must be pretty hot stuff, Sammie-girl.”
“Zip it up, the both of you,” Samantha shot back, struggling to control the tremor in her voice.
“Veronica and I broke up,” Ben said. His face was every bit as red as Samantha suspected her own was, but his jaw was set as he stared them down. “Anyway, what business is it of yours?”
Gina stepped closer. “Veronica’s my friend! You dumped her for Sammie here? Real classy move, Romeo. I bet she doesn’t know about this little rebound, does she? Huh?”
Samantha glared at them. “Stay out of it.”
“Come on, Samantha,” Ben said through gritted teeth. “Let’s get out of here.” He reached for her hand, pulling her along as they hurried away.
In a daze as they fled the park, Samantha nearly had to run to keep up with his fast strides. Her head swarmed with doubts, like furious bees buzzing around in her brain, clouding her perceptions, warring with her mixed emotions. All the while, she fought to keep her composure. What was she doing? She knew she would be mortified if Ronnie did what she dared to do. And yet, here she was, sneaking around with the guy that broke up with her sister only yesterday.
When they ended up at Ben’s front door, she had to admit to herself she was exactly where she wanted to be. How could anybody blame her for needing this diversion from her sorry life? Didn’t she deserve a chance at happiness as much as anybody?
“Let’s go down to the rec room,” he said, still holding her hand as they entered the house. The smell of fat pork frying hit Samantha’s nose as they neared the kitchen. It was Saturday, so Ben’s father was home, flipping over what looked like rainbow trout in a cast iron frying pan on the stove. Wearing a red, grease-spattered apron, he smiled. His eyes were friendly and wrinkled at the corners.
“How’s it going?” he said, spatula in hand. He looked curiously at Samantha. “Hungry for some lunch, Ben? You and your friend like a feed of trout? Plenty here for the three of us.” He turned off the stove and moved the frying pan back from the hot element.
“No thank you, Mr. Swift,” Samantha said.
“Me neither, old man. I had a sub sandwich earlier. You can save me a couple for later, though.” Ben gestured for Samantha to follow him downstairs. “Samantha and I are gonna play pool.”
Mr. Swift gave them a wink. “Good enough, son.”
As they headed for the basement, Lily appeared out of nowhere, managing to slither her narrow body ahead of them before the door closed. Samantha picked her up and carried her down the stairs, holding her close. Stroking Lily’s sleek white fur, she sat on the couch enjoying the droning purrs coming out of the little cat. Briefly, she wondered if their landlord would allow any pets.
“Do you mind if I watch you play alone instead?” she asked. A world-weariness descended upon her, swaddling her whole being in a woolly fatigue. All she wanted was what she was doing now: petting a warm and languid Lily in her lap. She’d had enough competition and confrontation over the last two days to last her for a year.
“No, not at all.” Ben racked the balls on the table and chalked his cue. “You do look exhausted.” He broke the triangle of balls with ease, the sharp crack from the impact reverberating around the rec room. Two of them sank into pockets. He eyed Samantha thoughtfully as he walked around the table. “Those girls got to you, didn’t they?”
Her first instinct was to deny it, but Ben’s tone disarmed her. She nodded slowly. “I wonder how long before Veronica finds out. They’re probably at the house now, blabbing to her as we speak.” If she thought Ronnie was enraged before, how bloodthirsty would she be after hearing about this?
“Maybe we should run away together. Like partners in crime.”
Samantha looked up sharply, catching the ghost of a smile on his handsome face. That was one solution, she thought wryly. Part of me would like nothing better in this world than to run away with you, Ben. No more conflicts, no more arguments. Most of the problems that plagued them would evaporate then too, wouldn’t they?
“If I thought it wouldn’t drive my mother around the bend with worry, I might consider it,” she said.
“Well, if you change your mind, let me know.”
“Ah, go away with your badness.” Would he actually do it? And why? What would he be running away from? Would he do that to his dad? Or could he actually be afraid of what Ronnie might do to her?
After watching Ben play for a while, it dawned on Samantha that she had yet to return her father’s call from two days ago. She winced and told Ben about it. “I guess I better go back and face the ongoing inquisition as well.” Gently, she lifted Lily from her lap and placed her on the couch. “Check on me later and see if I’m still alive, would you?”
“Oh my God, of course. I’ll give you a call after supper.” Ben lay down his cue stick. “Damn, I completely forgot! I have this family thing tonight in Mount Pearl. A barbecue at my aunt’s. Not really into it, but the old man says I should go. My cousins want to see me.” He walked Samantha out, but as she was about to say goodbye, he held her arm and pulled her close.
“You have to stand up to people more,” he said, stroking her cheek. “Don’t take any more crap from Veronica. She’s not the boss of you. Or me.” He bent down and kissed her lips, his hand on the small of her back. When he pulled away, she felt dizzy and her glasses were fogged up.
The warmth and excitement of the kiss was still fresh in her thoughts when she arrived home. Samantha smiled to herself, relieved when she saw her mother in the kitchen, washing potatoes.
“Hi, honey,” Darlene said. “I’m barbecuing pork chops for supper soon.”
Steeling herself for another possible showdown, she glanced upstairs. “Is Veronica here?”
“No, she went out with her friends a while ago. I hate to be a nag, but did you call your father back yet?”
“Not yet,” she said absentmindedly, heading for her bedroom, intending to retrieve the scrap of paper with his phone number from the top of her dresser.
Upon entering her room, Samantha saw right away what waited for her on the bed. She stood there for a moment, riveted, all concerns over calling Daddy driven from her mind. Small bits of torn up paper lay strewn over the daisy comforter, like so much confetti.
She walked to the corner of the bed and picked up several of the tiny, tattered pieces, staring at them in her palm in dismay. Her heart went cold.
It was the portrait she had drawn of Ben.
Chapter Sixteen
“Sam! How are you, my love? I’ve been waiting for your call.”
She had let yet another day slip by before phoning him back
. “I was busy. Sorry. What’s up?”
“It’s been awhile, and I’ve missed you. I miss talking to you and it breaks my heart that I can’t get Ronnie to call me at all since I came to Fort Mac. Are you doing okay? Tell me all your news.”
Samantha exhaled. You don’t really want to know my news. “Nothing much. My job finished up last week, so I’ve been reading a lot and stuff.” What have you been doing, Daddy, is the real question. “So how’s the new job? And, who is this new person I’ve heard about?”
“It’s good! I really like the new construction job. I’m working with a great bunch of people. A lot of ’em are Newfoundlanders and some are Cape Bretoners, which is handy about the same.” He chuckled, then paused to clear his throat. “Your mother told you I’m seeing someone, I take it. Look, love, I understand how this is upsetting for you, so I want you to take some time and get used to the idea. We don’t need to talk about Beth Anne right now.”
“Whatever. I don’t care.”
“Oh, Sam—”
“How old is she?” Samantha slumped in the chair, pulling off the Band-Aids on her knee and picking at the scab that had formed there since Friday. She clawed at the crust with her fingernails, knowing it wasn’t ready to come off. She couldn’t seem to stop herself. “How old is she?” she repeated.
“We have a bit of an age difference,” Jack told her after a pause. “She’s turning thirty in a few months.”
Samantha pulled at the edge of the scab, scraping at it until half of it tore free. Fresh blood oozed out. She stared at it, wondering why it hardly hurt at all. A numbness crept over her. “Anything else you want to tell me?”
“She’s from Newfoundland too. She was married before, but now she is widowed. Are you sure, Sam? We don’t have to do this now—”
“Tell me,” she interrupted. She dug her fingernails into her knee and gritted her teeth.
Calmer Girls Page 14
