For an answer, Samantha stepped outside and pushed the door shut. She was tired of worrying about her mother and her demands. Get your own act together before you start judging me, Momma. Who the hell are you to be handing out relationship advice?
She hurried down the street in the direction of Gower Street. Cool raindrops slanted into her face and made it difficult to see through her glasses. She grimaced, wholly convinced St. John’s got much more rainfall than Calmer Cove. Pulling up her hood, she bent her head into the wind and rounded the corner.
Ben had phoned this morning while she was eating pancakes. Intuitively, she had known by the insistent shrilling of the rings, it was him. Before she could say anything, he’d suggested they get together this afternoon at his place, and she had immediately agreed. Now her stomach was doing somersaults, and nervous sweat trickled under her arms in dread of what she had to tell him.
Mr. Swift answered the door. She imagined Ben looking like his dad when he got older, still handsome, but with touches of grey and eyes crinkled at the corners. What role in her life would he be playing by then? Her husband? Her brother-in-law? Or a distant memory?
“Hi, Samantha. Ben is down in the rec room waiting for you. Let me warn you, though, he’s in a rotten mood. Maybe you can cheer him up a bit.” Mr. Swift ploughed his fingers through his hair while he looked at her over the top of his glasses. She saw the paternal concern in his eyes, and the lines and wrinkles the stresses of life had carved on his face.
Samantha nodded as she hung up her dripping raincoat in the vestibule and headed for the basement stairs. Bad mood, eh, Ben? Well, I’m about to give you something else to think about. It will take your mind off whatever is bothering you now, anyway.
Ben rushed to her, arms outstretched. Her body went as limp as a drowsy kitten in his embrace, sensing how much he needed her. She savoured the closeness of him too, anticipating every beat of his heart, drinking in the unique scent of him. Now his mouth was on hers, eagerly kissing her and steeping her with that irresistible, singular desire. One of his hands stroked the length of her back while the other, buried in her curls, held the back of her head, keeping her lips pressed to his. She trembled as his tongue found hers. He was intoxicating, more intoxicating than any drug she could ever imagine.
Then she remembered why she’d come. Squirming herself free, she looked into his puzzled eyes as she tried to put a little distance between them.
“What is it, Samantha?” he asked, reaching for her hand and pulling her close again.
“Before I get into it, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, anything. What?”
Samantha cleared her throat. “Your dad said you were in need of cheering up. Did something happen?”
Ben dropped her hand. “Don’t want to go there. He should’ve kept his mouth shut.” A shadow clouded his eyes as he backed away. Leaning against the pool table, he crossed his arms. “Kalen came by this morning. He told us the options the dentist gave him to replace his tooth. It’s gonna be freakin’ costly, but the old man told him we’d pay for it. Not going to be easy, though. His credit is all maxed out and neither of us has much in the way of savings.”
“Can you pay it off, like monthly or something?”
“See, the old man is worried about getting laid off too. Very little work is being picked up at his firm. The economy sucks, so new construction is rare. Which equals no demand for design and drafting work.”
Samantha was weary of being reminded of her mother’s need for a job. “Couldn’t he get unemployment insurance?”
“Pogey? Yeah, but it would hardly be enough to make ends meet. He even said we might have to sell the convertible.” Ben was quiet for a moment, then shook his head. “The best plan for me, instead of MUN or trade school, is to try and find work too. Something full time, better than the bookstore. You know, help the old man out. Help him pay the bills.” He didn’t sound enthused at the prospect.
Sitting on the couch, Samantha frowned, elbows on knees, head in her hands. What was she supposed to do now? The last thing Ben needed was more awful news, but she had to tell him today. Damn! And why was she doing her sister’s dirty work for her, anyway?
“Ben. I have to tell you something. It’s big, so you better sit down.” She was sick of having this wall between them, keeping this colossal secret. Get it out in the open. Get it done and over with. Let the chips fall.
Ben walked across the rec room and sat beside her. “What is it?”
She took a deep, quavering breath. “It’s…about Veronica.”
“Is she still giving you grief? For Pete’s sake, why can’t she accept the reality that I’m through with her?”
“It isn’t that—”
“She doesn’t want me to date her sister, right? Well, she doesn’t get to dictate who I see, or who you see either. Cripes, she’s a pain in the you-know-where. She acts as if the universe revolves around her and her alone.”
“Please stop talking and listen to me. It’s not just about Veronica anymore.”
“Is it your old lady? Did she say you couldn’t go out with me, because I dated Veronica first?”
“Well, yes, Momma is totally against us dating, but—”
“That’s not fair! How can she try to control you like that?”
“If you would be quiet and just listen for a second, you would understand!”
“But, Samantha, I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Whaaat? Samantha was speechless. At his words, her cheeks flushed pink and a wild surge of joy coursed through her. Ben had his arms around her again, pulling her into him so her head could rest on his chest. I’m falling in love with you too, Ben. Only you still don’t know the whole story…of how our love is doomed.
“I dreamed about you last night,” he said into her hair. “We were on a picnic out in the country. It was beautiful and perfect. And when I woke up, I wanted to see you and hold you so badly, and tell you how I feel. Do you think you will ever love me too?”
“Oh, Ben. Why does everything have to be so complicated?”
Ben kissed her lightly on the lips. “We’ll get it figured out, you’ll see. Hey, I have an idea. Let’s go for a drive. I’ll see if I can get the car.” He stood up. “Wait here a second while I make sure.” Before Samantha could respond, he disappeared through the door and upstairs.
Samantha bit her lip. How much easier everything would be if Veronica hadn’t gotten in the way! She and Ben could drive off and enjoy the day, park together somewhere and kiss, cuddle and talk about their love for each other, about their lives and their plans. Even recreate the picnic he had dreamed about. Instead, she had to drop a bombshell on him that threatened to tie him and Veronica together forever.
She heard his footsteps creaking on the stairs. His head poked out from behind the door.
“Come on, Samantha, I’ve got the car. I think the rain is holding up too.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Through the windshield of the Thunderbird, Samantha scanned the shrouded vista below. Most of the harbour and view of the city from their Signal Hill parking space lay concealed under a ghostly white veil. She supposed that was why only two other vehicles were parked here. The impenetrable fog replacing the rain clouds gave her a claustrophobic sensation of nothingness, a feeling she found strangely disquieting.
So much had happened since her first time up here with Ben and Veronica back at the beginning of July. She retrieved her impressions of that day, and how smitten he had looked whenever he gazed at her sister’s pretty face. And though it was her hand that Ben held now and her face he regarded with tenderness, she tensed, over-strung with nerves.
Reading her body language, Ben turned to her. “Okay, spill it. What was it you wanted to tell me earlier that was so important?”
Samantha let go of his hand and moved away from him, determined this time to say what must be said. Whatever the outcome, he needed to know what was going on. Here goes nothing. “It’
s about you and Veronica. The consequences of your, um, romance.”
Ben’s eyes were full of questions.
She forced out the words. “She’s pregnant.”
His face turned ashen. “Oh God, no,” he breathed, his eyes wide. He looked around himself as if searching for an explanation. “But we always used protection. How could she…” His face crumpled. “Except for the first time. We didn’t have anything, but I was so careful not to…” He trailed off, shaking his head.
Spare me. Samantha avoided his eyes. “Not careful enough,” she muttered under her breath.
“Did she say I was the father? Is she sure?”
“Of course she’s sure. She wasn’t dating anyone else, so you must be.”
But Ben wouldn’t let go of the idea. “She could’ve hooked up with someone at that party. You know, the one I didn’t want to go to, but she went to anyway. I spent that evening with you, remember?”
Samantha gaped at him. “Ben, I can’t see her lying to everyone like that. Veronica has her faults, but I don’t think she would say you were the father if she weren’t absolutely sure.” Surely you wouldn’t do that, would you, Veronica?
“To protect her reputation, she might. You’re the one who told me she always had a lot of boyfriends. She even two-timed some of them, that’s what you said.”
“You’re reaching, Ben. She was really into you and she was crushed when you broke it off with her. Then she realized she’d missed a period, and she—”
Ben slammed his fist down on the steering wheel. His eyes were frantic, darting everywhere. “Why is this happening? Damn it all to hell.” His head jerked around to look at her. “What does she want to do about it? Is she keeping it?”
“She doesn’t know yet. She’s not getting an abortion, but she hasn’t made up her mind on adoption or not.” Jamming her hands in her pockets to keep from gnawing off her fingernails entirely, Samantha waited to hear what he would say next.
“I’m too young to be a father.”
“I know. But she’s a year younger than you, so how do you think she feels?”
“What does she want from me, though?” His voice sounded high and unnatural, as if the words were being wrenched out of him. A muscle twitched in his jaw. “I don’t have anything to give a baby. Jeez. A high school education, no job—I have nothing! The old man is going to be savage when he finds out. If he finds out. Does your mother know about it?”
Samantha sighed. “Yeah, she knows.”
“Oh God.” Ben hunched over the steering wheel.
For a second, Samantha thought he might cry. Instead, he reached down and turned the key in the ignition. The car roared to life. In one explosive movement, he put the car in reverse and swerved around in the parking lot, pointing the car toward the road that led down the hill. His jaw set and his teeth clenched, he jammed his foot heavily on the accelerator.
But the road ahead was steep and winding, difficult to navigate at high speed. Samantha dug her fingers into the seat under her and prayed he didn’t lose control of the car. “Please, Ben—please slow down!”
He braked slightly, yet seemed to be in his own world. “We should take off. Just get out of here, the two of us, away from everyone, get off this stupid, damn rock and head for the mainland somewhere.”
“How? You’re talking crazy now.”
“Am I? Think about it. We could drive to Argentia, grab the ferry to Nova Scotia, then—”
“Then what?” Samantha’s hands flew to her face when, without warning, the convertible jerked and swerved out to the left. As they descended Signal Hill, they overtook the pickup truck in front of them, narrowly missing an oncoming car before pulling back into the right lane. Samantha peered back over her shoulder to see the other driver shaking his fist at them out of his window. “Stop the car. I’m afraid to be in with you right now. I mean it, Ben!”
Glancing at her, Ben eased his foot from the gas and touched the brake again until they slowed down. They turned onto the harbour front. Despite the fog, a scattering of tourists milled about the dockside. At a loss for words, Samantha stared at the parked cars, the boats, and small tankers beyond, with the commiserating moan of a foghorn echoing in the distance.
“This could ruin everything for us, don’t you see?”
Samantha looked at him. He barely had the words out before she heard the little catch in his throat. With one arm out the window and the other on the steering wheel, he indeed looked ready to cry. The lump in her own throat and bitter tears she swallowed threatened to derail her completely. “That’s what I’m afraid of, too.”
“I don’t want you to be afraid, my sweet angel. I want the chance to be with you, to love you and take care of you. Surely she won’t keep the baby, will she? Knowing her, though, she’ll keep it just to spite us.”
Samantha had to admit she had already thought of that. “Momma has forbidden me from dating you too, to top it all off.”
“We’ll see about that,” Ben muttered. “Wait. I know what we should do. We need to send them all a message that we are serious about each other and they can’t break us apart. Let’s get away, only for a while where they can’t find us, and we can be together. How about it? Are you with me?”
It sounded somewhat logical. Stay gone long enough for their families to realize their love was genuine. Her fear of Ben going back to Veronica dissolved in a tidal wave of relief, leaving her weak. “But how? Where? What will we live on? I have a little bit of money. How about you?”
“I don’t have much, but if we pool our resources we could get by for a while. Of course, we’ll have to take the car. And we’re in luck; the old man topped up the gas tank this morning.”
Samantha knitted her brow. The car would complicate things and make it harder to hide, but not having their own wheels would create a whole new set of challenges. They could send word to Mr. Swift and reassure him they would only be gone for a short while with his cherished convertible. And he could relay the message to her mother, Ben said.
She gulped down the last of her reservations. “Okay. You’re on.”
Samantha was rewarded with the first of many smiles she would see on Ben’s face that day.
The business of running away together proved much easier to pull off than Samantha had envisioned. She’d expected some hairy moments putting their escape plan into action, especially as it involved going home first to collect up their money and their extra clothes and things. But with luck as their ally, its execution was as smooth as the Aunt Jemima syrup on her pancakes this morning. When Ben dropped her off on the corner with instructions to meet him in Bannerman Park as soon as possible, she rushed home, unlocked the door and let herself in as quietly as she could. She breathed a little easier when she heard the shower running, and listened. No other sound, or a sign of anyone else in the house. Most likely Veronica’s in the shower and Momma’s not at home. Perfect. But she didn’t waste the valuable minutes she had. Stuffing some clothes in her knapsack and grabbing her wallet, Samantha scanned her room to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything important. At the last minute, she opted against taking Jane Eyre and her camera. She had a feeling Ben was going to devour all her attention. She wore an impish smile as she closed the front door behind her with a soft click.
Ben had equally good luck getting his things. When he picked up Samantha at the park, he reported how all was clear at his house, the only sign of life being an affectionate Lily rubbing and bumping against his ankles. A note left on the table told him his father had gone for a hike with his buddy and wouldn’t be home until late that evening. He showed her some extra supplies he’d taken from the house. Samantha was grateful to see he’d packed a variety of snacks and bottled water, a bottle of Advil, and had also thought of bringing along a deck of cards and an old cribbage board.
“In case we get bored with each other,” he said, smiling.
“Let’s get out of here,” she said, returning his smile. Ben reached out and cupped the
side of her face, his eyes looking fondly into hers. An electrifying shiver raced up her back to the nape of her neck.
The fog cleared, giving way to the dying day’s final and sunny hurrah. Samantha squinted into the sun, beaming through the windshield, and listened blissfully to Ben talking about their plan. In a few short hours, Mr. Swift would be home, but he likely wouldn’t be concerned until Ben failed to come home for the night. By then they would be long gone from the city, and with the cloak of darkness to help with their escape. He talked about how they would have to lie low and stay out of sight in case someone came looking for them.
But to Samantha, in this heady moment of anticipation, their whole world had sprung wide open and she was eager to step over the threshold with him. No one was going to hold them back from their adventure, from doing what they wanted—they were making sure of that. She had never tasted and savoured a freedom so sweet and exciting in her entire young life.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“I love him: and that, not because he’s handsome…but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
- Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
From the passenger window, Samantha gazed out at the outline of evergreen trees looming up from the side of the highway, their contours merely dark silhouettes reaching for the early night sky. Stars were visible now, tiny pinpoints of light that travelled along with them. Between the tops of the trees, a fingernail sliver of a crescent moon winked at her each time it came into view. Stifling a yawn behind her hand, she glanced at Ben. His fingers on the steering wheel tapped along to a song playing on the car stereo.
“Tired yet?” she asked.
Ben winked at her. “Just a tad. Think we should stop for the night soon?”
Calmer Girls Page 20
