Fire in His Blood

by Ruby Dixon

  A large nose touches my hair. Do you wish to eat, my mate? Do you have needs?

  My eyes fly open. I sit up, realizing that I’m cradled against Kael’s gigantic, scaled forelimbs instead of pillows. He’s nuzzling my filthy hair as if it’s the greatest thing ever. And I’m weak and terrible, because I feel snuggled and loved.

  Dang dragon. Being with him is so very confusing. I run a hand over my face, trying to shake away sleep. “W-what?”

  Do you have needs, my mate?

  Eeeek. “Can you not say that? Please?”

  Can I not say what? I hate that he sounds adorably confused.

  “That I’m your mate? And um, that stuff about needs.” I wave a hand in the air as if it’s no big deal, but the truth is, whenever he says that, I don’t think about food or water, I think about…dirty needs. Pretty sure that’s not what he means.

  I think.

  You are my mate. His thoughts are loud in my head, clear as a bell. I claimed you and gave you my fire. My venom. It has linked you to me. Our minds are as one. Now you can take my seed and I will not burn you.

  I sit up in his arms, struggling to process what I’m hearing. “Venom? So you did poison me? You dick!”

  Why are you offended? I have shared my life essence with you to bond us together. Now you are safe.

  “Yeah, but you didn’t ask.”

  You accepted me into your arms. Was that not permission? I can feel the earnestness in his thoughts.

  And…crap. I’m starting to feel a mix of guilt and frustration. “Is casual sex not a thing with your people? Can’t we just have sex because we want to, not because we want to be forever mated or anything?” I’m still angry about what happened during sex, but I’m starting to resent him less for what he did. If that’s how his people think things go down, of course he’s not going to see a problem with it. “I thought we were having casual sex. Just for fun.”

  But you are small and fragile. He noses my hair again and then sets me down gently on the ground as if I am the most precious of objects. Only a bonded mate can take her male’s seed.

  “So you bonded me to you? With venom?” My hand goes to my throat, and my neck still feels hot. Actually, all of me feels rather flushed and feverish, though I’m starting to get used to it. “All so you could jizz inside me? Seriously?”

  You are not as warm as drakoni. I did not want to burn you when we had pleasure and I gave you my seed.

  “Newsflash, it wasn’t pleasure for me, not after that.” At the flash of alarm in his mind, I shake my head. “Forget it. I don’t want to argue that. I want to know more about this venom-bonding crap. Can we reverse it?”

  You are my mate. Why would I change that? The large, wedge-shaped head moves toward me, his eyes swirling amber with just a hint of black.

  I shake my head. “I can’t be your mate. I’m human. One of these things is not like the other. I’m not like you—I can’t shift to dragon form just as easily as thinking.”

  Your kind is small and fragile, but you are fertile. I will be careful with you. This I promise. My cock fits between your legs sweetly, and you taste delicious. I could lick between your thighs for hours. You especially liked it when I touched the little nub there. Your cries were pleasing to me.

  Oh god, dragon dirty talk should not be hot. Somehow, this is way, way sexier than when he was silent and just infusing our names with all kinds of innuendo. I shouldn’t want to hear it. I shouldn’t. “Hush.”

  You do not wish me to talk about how much I like to please my mate? Shall I change to my two-legged form and show you?

  “Eep! No! I don’t want to be shown anything right now! I’m a mess.” I want to smack myself for using that as an excuse. Being dirty isn’t the reason why I don’t want him to touch me. At least, it shouldn’t be. But every time I’m around him, I get all flustered and start thinking about things I shouldn’t. Like the fact that his tongue is raspy even in human form.

  Stop it, Claudia. Slippery slope there.

  Kael’s thoughts break through mine. What is this ‘mess’? I do not understand.

  I pull a handful of filthy hair away from my head and shake it. “This. I’m gross. I smell, remember?”

  You do smell like other humans, my mate. I do not appreciate the smell, either. But I tolerate it for now.

  “Gee, thanks.”

  You speak appreciation, but it is not in your thoughts. I can hear the wry teasing in his mind. I do not think you are entirely truthful.

  “And I don’t know that I’m a fan of this mind stuff. How is it you can talk in my head?”

  Our kind take to the air and the seas. Our world has rough, high winds that can be very extreme from place to place. We learned many years ago to speak through the mind and to link to our families. It is the best way of speaking directly. Our world is not like yours. It is not like this awful place that smells of humans and decay. I do not like it here. As he speaks, his thoughts take on a wild, desperate tinge, and I almost expect to see his eyes go black with high emotion.

  Automatically, I put a hand out to calm him and stroke the scales on his foreleg. Immediately, his thoughts quiet and the worrisome fringe emotions float away again. “If you hate it here, why don’t you go back? I’m pretty sure humans would be okay with that.” Hell, as a whole, humanity would probably jump for joy.

  I’m just not sure how I’d feel, and I hate that I even have to stop and question it. As a whole, dragons are the enemy. But Kael…Kael’s different, and the thought of him leaving and me never seeing him again fills me with both a sense of relief and a wild, unhappy yearning.

  There is no going back. The heavens tore open and ripped us away from our home. Ever since, we exist in madness. There is nothing but destruction and death and the endless need to create both.

  I’ve felt that touch of madness in his thoughts. “How come you’re handling the madness okay compared to the others?” I continue to stroke his scales to soothe him. “I mean, you’ve been vicious, but not to me.”

  Never to you. He leans in, and his muzzle gently touches my hair. You are what keeps me anchored to sanity. Bonding to you prevents me from losing control. Without it, I would be… I can feel him pause. You do not want to know.

  “I do,” I tell him softly. “I need to understand.” I feel like so much between us is misunderstandings and complications. If we’re to come to terms with each other, we need to figure out how the other works. “Can you show me?”

  His eyes meet mine, and as they do, I feel him open up. My brain immediately fills with an intense jumble of images, all screaming to the forefront and impossible to take in. It’s like being blasted by a hundred TV channels at once, all at top volume, and I stagger. A brief second later, the image flood stops, and I sink against him in relief. My head is pounding just from that small ‘share.’ He touches my hand with his nose, as if trying to comfort me.

  That is what being in your world is like for me. But with you as my anchor, I do not hear it anymore. Instead of a constant roar, it is a soft buzz in the background and easily ignored. You bring light and calm to my world. You are my world.

  I’m overwhelmed, not only by what I’ve just learned, but by his sweet words. No wonder he has fits of violence. With all that garbage in his mind day in and day out, it’s a wonder he can even talk to me right now. I rub my brows, just thinking about all of that chaos. “So this is why you won’t give me up? Because I keep your head quiet?”

  Because you are my mate. It will bring me great joy to care for you and protect you. I live for your happiness. A drakoni male is utterly devoted to his mate. I would show you just how devoted I can be to your needs. The low, thrumming purr starts in his throat again. And I would love to taste you again, my Claudia.

  Oh sweet lord. I automatically clamp my thighs together in response. Just as quickly as desire and need hits me, so does the fear. My mind flashes with the memory of those big teeth sinking into my throat and the hot pain they brought with them. “I

don’t think I want you to touch me. I think I want to go home.”

  Your home is with me. He flicks his wings, agitated.

  “No, my home is in Fort Dallas,” I tell him, stubbornly clinging to that. “I have a sister there, and friends. But I can’t go back, just because you’ve decided that you want me as your mate. You’ve ruined it for me. You’ve taken my life away, and my choices, all because you think I belong to you.”

  You…do not wish to be with me? His tone is astonished, as if he doesn’t quite grasp how I could say no.

  “I like you, Kael. I do. But I hate what you did. You didn’t even think to ask me. You just decided to choose what you wanted for me and bonded my mind to yours. And now because you’ve decided that you have to have me, my entire life is screwed over. Not just mine, but that of my sister and my friend.” Just thinking about Amy makes a hard lump form in my throat. “You can’t just up and choose if I’m your mate. I have to want it, too.”

  You…do not want to be my mate? Rage flashes through his mind, and I’m reminded of the barrage of overwhelming images he’d sent me.

  I know he’s not doing it on purpose. And he says he won’t hurt me, so I press further. “Why would I want to be your mate? I didn’t get to choose, Kael. You don’t seem to grasp that, but let me spell it out again. This is my life, not yours. Ever since I met you, I’ve been put in danger, threatened, and taken away from my loved ones. Why would I choose you?”

  You would take another mate? Again, flashes of madness coat the thoughts.

  “Not necessarily, but—”

  The dragon gets to his feet, dumping me onto the ground from my comfy perch on his legs. You would choose another mate over me? Where is he? I will destroy him! The madness is so thick in his mind, even I can feel it leaking over.

  “That’s not what I said—” I begin.

  But my dragon launches himself into the skies, gushing smoke and fire in a fit of rage. I sigh, putting my hands on my hips and watching him go. Well, that went well. Try to be a little independent and a dragon loses his shit. Figures.

  22

  CLAUDIA

  For the first time since being captured (both by humans and dragons), I’m left alone for a few hours. I suppose it means I’m safe, because Kael’s been all over me in the past at a hint of danger. And he kept saying that because I’m claimed and he’s given me his ‘venom’ that no one else will look at me as a potential mate. I’m no longer in danger from other dragons, and therefore I can be left alone. I should be pleased.

  Instead, I’m lonely and feel more abandoned than ever.

  I know I’m not acting rational. I know I drove Kael off deliberately. I didn’t want him here with me, but when he left, it didn’t make me happy, either. My life has been completely upended because of his presence, and I’m taking it out on him. I’m frantically worried about Amy, and I’m taking it out on him. I’m confused about how I feel about him…and I’m taking it out on him.

  I know it’s terrible. I know I’m being frustrating. I just…I honestly don’t know what to do about anything. Normally I try to compose myself and move forward with what I’ve got to work with, but this time I’m just utterly stymied. Every move feels like the wrong one.

  So I do nothing.

  Not that I can do much. Leaving’s out of the question—Kael will freak, and I don’t want that. Also, it’s not like I can go back home. They’ll just arrest me, hand me over again, or use me as additional leverage if they decide to keep me. My freedom in Fort Dallas is gone. I have no home anymore.

  I poke around the empty, decrepit office building, but there’s not much to do. I scavenged through it days ago when looking for clothing, and it’s just as full of useless things now as it was then. A stapler’s not all that handy in an apocalypse, and neither is a fax machine or twenty non-working phones. I give everything a cursory poke anyhow and then head back to the working bathroom and drink my fill from the sink using a chipped ‘World’s Greatest Boss’ mug. My stomach rumbles with hunger, and I think how ironic that is. Here I am bitching about how I can’t go home to Fort Dallas and I have to stay with a dragon. And yet that dragon has always fed me and taken care of me, and back in Fort Dallas I’ve had to scrape by for the barest living and went hungry more days than I can imagine. I need to re-examine my priorities.

  But I can’t get over the fact that Amy’s being held by the soldiers. She’s screwed and it’s my fault. And Sasha… I try not to think about what Sasha will do. Sasha always finds a way to survive. I splash water on my hands, scrubbing at my face and arms as best I can. There are no more paper towels; I used the last of them on Kael.

  And that makes me think of the way he’d kissed me and touched me. How it had felt to be cherished and adored for that brief window of time. I’d eaten it up. I hadn’t realized I was so starved for affection until he’d held me close, and I’d never wanted to leave that warm embrace. He genuinely wants the best for me. I keep telling myself it’s wrong…but why? Kael infuriates me with his possessiveness and overbearing attitude, but he’s kind and caring overall. It’s not his fault this world pushes him toward insanity.

  I understand his need, too. The flashes he’d shown me of the madness were utterly frightening. No wonder dragons are attacking cities and destroying everything. Their heads are filled with so much horror they don’t know what they’re doing. I’ve seen how small things can make the bad thoughts rise in Kael’s head. If I’m the only one that makes things quiet for him…I understand why he wants to keep me.

  It just sucks that I get no say in anything.

  Amy. My poor sister. The militia’s never going to let her go. They’re going to dangle her under my nose as an insurance policy to try to get me to force Kael to do what they want. Amy must be terrified. I’ve tried to keep her sheltered from the worst Fort Dallas has to offer, and I can’t protect her any longer.

  That’s not Kael’s fault, and I need to quit blaming him for that. I sigh and give myself a little dog-like shake to fling the water off my skin. I’m blaming him for a lot of things—my sister, my exile, the bite, my fear of him—and now that he’s been gone for a while, I realize that none of it is his fault. If he’d have known that I didn’t like the bite, didn’t expect it, and it scared me, I think that would hurt him almost as much as it hurt me.

  It’s clear I need to talk to my dragon and figure this shit out. I peer out the hole in the bathroom ceiling hopefully, but there’s no sign of him. I try reaching out with my mind, too, but I don’t really know what I’m doing and I don’t feel anything respond. Weird, but I kind of miss his hovering, overbearing presence. I even miss his draconic flirting.

  He’s only been gone a few hours, too, and I feel empty and alone. Maybe there’s something to this dragon-bond thing, after all. I felt empty and alone back in Fort Dallas, but I thought it was because of everything I’d gone through. Maybe there’s something more. I touch the hot place on my neck where he bit me, and I wonder if the bond works both ways.

  If it doesn’t, maybe I have more feelings for my dragon than I’d like to admit.

  Some time later, a flash of gold in the distant skies catches my attention, and I suck in a nervous breath. Is that my dragon or another? It’s hard to tell from where I’m standing. I move to the ledge of the building, where the walls have crumbled away and the skies are wide open. A step in the wrong direction and I’ll tumble off the side. I usually avoid it, but now I approach without fear. I figure there are two scenarios—that’s a mystery gold dragon that will eat me if he can’t mate me and I’m dead anyhow, or it’s Kael and he won’t let me fall.

  Weirdly enough, it’s comforting to think that Kael has my back no matter what. I push my wildly whipping hair out of my face and scan the clear blue skies. Nothing. Maybe it was my imagination.

  Kael? I try. Where are you? It feels strange to be speaking from my mind, but I don’t know if speaking aloud will reach him…if it is him.

  To my relief, the big gold dragon swoops in close to the building and begins to circle low the moment I send that out. It’s him. I know it just as surely as if he said hello back to me. I shield my eyes from the late-afternoon sunlight, watching him lazily descend through the air. He really is beautiful like this, I think. All gleaming scales and massive, sinewy muscle. He’s graceful, too, despite the bulk of his dragon form. As I watch, he cants his wings and begins to slowly descend onto the broken roof above me. Massive clawed hind legs perch on one of the walls, and he tucks his wings in like a bird, and then peers down at the floor.

  I wave. It’s automatic, and I feel a little silly, but I wave.

  His eyes flash to a pleased gold, and he immediately switches to human form, lithely jumping down into the office room where I wait. I half-wince as he lands, knees bent, but the long fall doesn’t seem to bother him. Dragon bones must be stronger than human bones, because a jump like that would have broken both my legs. He straightens, and again, I can’t get over how beautiful and graceful he is. It doesn’t matter the form—watching Kael move is pure pleasure.

  “You’re back,” I say, and then feel lame and obvious. Of course he’s back. He always comes back for me.

  He stalks toward me, crossing the room, and I step back, uncertain. Is he mad? His eyes flash between the black of strong emotion and gold, but there’s no anger radiating from his thoughts. I hesitate, wondering if I should run.

  Kael’s big body moves in front of me, and he puts his hands at my waist, then drags me against him. One hand curls around my jaw, and he tilts my head up with gentle fingers, mindful of his claws. He studies my upturned face for a moment, and my heart flutters wildly. Then his mouth descends on mine in a light brush of lips.

  I shiver at the utter tenderness of that embrace. Why have I been fighting against this so hard? Sometimes I’m so stupid. Pressed up against him like this, I feel protected and loved. Why can’t I be happy with that? “Does this mean you’re not mad at me anymore?” I whisper.

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