by Ruby Dixon
This is no, I agree, not trusting my voice. I don’t care what my body says. My mind says no.
I…have made you cry. Remorse pulses through his mind, so thick that it permeates my own thoughts. My Claudia. Forgive me.
To my surprise, he pulls me from the bed and gathers me in his arms, holding me in a tight, oddly comforting hug. I don’t know how he knew that I needed a hug, but it helps. I burrow my face against his chest and let the tears flow.
26
CLAUDIA
The next morning, we don’t speak of things. Kael’s in a foul mood, though he had woken up early enough to catch breakfast for me and woke me with a roasted haunch of…something. I don’t ask what it is or how it died. I don’t want to know.
My own mood isn’t exactly stellar, either. I’m tired after our fight last night and sick with worry over poor Amy. I have to do something about my sister, soon. I can’t leave Amy there, and I can’t go back, either. I realize that now. It’s not that I’m dying to get back to a life of scrounging for the next bite to eat and sleeping in the back of a too-hot school bus, surrounded by a city full of unscrupulous, hardscrabble scavengers that try to take whatever you have, including your body. But…Fort Dallas is the devil I know. It’s familiar, it’s safe (mostly), and there are no surprises, except for the occasional out-of-pattern dragon attack.
And since I’ve ‘tamed’ Kael, I guess I’ve fixed some of that.
You’re welcome, Fort Dallas.
I worry about Sasha, too. She does what she has to in order to survive, and I hope she hasn’t put herself in danger. I don’t like to think of my friend willingly letting someone hurt her just for a few bites of food.
And Amy. Poor, fragile Amy. I picture my sister, her pale blonde hair, wide eyes, and bad leg that makes every step a slow limp. She won’t be able to survive without me. She’s too shy, too frightened of the world. It’s a scary, brutal place in the After, and Amy doesn’t have the personality to make it. She’s too trusting.
I simply have to do something. I think hard about this as I pick at my breakfast. I’m trying to eat it, since Kael was thoughtful enough to bring it, and meat should never be wasted, but I have no appetite. I’m sick with worry. A shadow flicks overhead, and I glance up, expecting to see gold wing.
Except…Kael is in the room with me.
A flick of red tail seen through one of the holes in the ceiling makes me tense. A red. A female. They’re completely lost to the madness. I stiffen in fear. It’s time for a dragon attack. I’ve lost all track of the patterns, and this one’s taken me by surprise. Very faintly, off in the distance, I hear the wail of the Fort Dallas sirens.
I push my food aside and get to my feet, staggering backward.
What is it, my mate?
“Red dragon,” I stammer, pointing at the sky.
She will not hurt you. She does not sense you as a rival, nor me as a potential mate. My venom has been given.
“O-okay.” I can’t stop trembling at the sight of it, though. The urge to hide is overwhelming.
I will make her leave. Do not fear, my Claudia. He immediately surges to dragon form and springs into the air. I hear his bellow of warning a second later, and the smaller red dragon’s high-pitched shriek of response. The smell of ash is carried in on the wind, and I realize the red’s been flaming the city somewhere. Something’s burning.
Worried, I retreat into the shadows of a nearby room with a protected ceiling and open the supply closet. I shut the door behind me and crouch in a corner, shaking. When dragons attack, the safest place is surrounded by concrete, but this will have to do. I can’t get over how scared I am. I shouldn’t be afraid of dragons anymore, should I? Not with Kael at my side? But the fear is real and vivid, and I’m shaking hard. And because I’m weak and needy, I reach out to Kael’s mind for comfort and reassurance. Kael? Is everything all right?
I am here, he sends, and his thoughts are warm and comforting. Do not fear.
Can you make her leave? I’m scared.
She is crazed, Kael tells me, his own thoughts a bit muddy. I am telling her to leave, but she is having a hard time comprehending. Her mind is nearly gone with madness. It is hard to connect with her.
The stream of his thoughts is interrupted, and I hear him give another low roar, this one more distant, followed by the female’s bellow of response.
Kael? I ask, worried. Are you okay? A tinge of madness creeps into my mind, and I worry that he’s losing control. I don’t like how quiet he is, or the scattered thoughts that are leaking through. It’s like her madness is infecting him. Focus on me, big guy. I’m here. Your Claudia.
My mate. I remember. Thank you. There is warmth and love in his thoughts, and they feel stronger than before.
I relax. I’m here for you, I tell him, though it feels a little silly to tell a big scary dragon that as I huddle in a closet.
She scents my mate on my skin, even though she cannot hear you in my thoughts. A pause then. She is leaving. She will leave my territory to me and seek out other males.
I breathe a sigh of relief, then feel guilty. The red is heading toward Fort Dallas, if the siren is any indication. I can’t chase her off from here to go there. Is she going to the city? Can you direct her away?
Her mind is not there, my mate. I cannot do anything except chase her away from my nest. She does not grasp anything other than I am a claimed male and she must search elsewhere for a mate. After a long moment, I feel a thump as the building rocks and Kael’s large form lands back on the roof. I open the closet door a peep and, daring, scuttle to the next door to peek at the skies. There’s a flash of golden wing, and then a moment later, Kael jumps down from the roof in his naked human glory.
He holds a hand out to me. Come. We have much to do.
I leave the safety of my hidey-hole and step forward, nervous. “Much to do?”
There are other males in the area. It will be safer for you if they imprint your scent. They will know you are claimed and off limits. It will be easier if I am at your side to communicate. Human skin does not hold the mating scent nearly as well. You lose the scent of my skin upon yours after a few days, and it is not safe.
That makes me nervous all over again. How do I get the, um, mating scent on me again? Not a bite, I hope.
His eyes swirl black. I must fill you with my seed.
My eyes narrow. Well, isn’t that just convenient. And if I say no?
He caresses my cheek in a possessive gesture. That is why we are going to go to them. My scent upon you is still faint, but it is there. Soon it will be gone unless you accept me again. This way, we ensure your safety.
I give him a skeptical look and cross my arms over my chest. Sounds like a scam to me. A way to get into my metaphorical panties. ‘Marking’ me and making me safe. Sounds like a dragon tall-tale to me.
It is not a lie. I do not wish for you to lose my scent. I do not want another male to think he can steal you.
A flash of memory creeps into my head, of Kael fighting the other golden dragon and calmly ripping its throat out. “Are you going to have to fight again?”
No. They will smell me on you and be curious, but they will not fight. The other did not smell my claim on you and thought to steal you from me before I could have the chance. Kael’s eyes flare with black emotion. I would not put you in danger, my Claudia.
“All right,” I tell him reluctantly. “Let’s get this over with.”
He leans down to brush his lips over mine, then just as quickly transforms into his dragon form. I’m startled at the impulsive caress and at the pleasurable response it incites despite my tormented thoughts. “What was that for?”
I simply wanted to do so.
If Kael’s hard to read in human form, he’s impossible in dragon form. I eye him a moment longer, then groan in dismay when his massive, clawed foot reaches for me.
He immediately pauses. Are you in pain?
“No.” I step into his outstretched claws, trustin
g him. “But I hate riding with you like this. It scares me. I don’t feel safe.”
I have no other way to carry you, my mate. And I would never drop you.
“I know. But too bad you don’t come with a saddle.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, an idea forms. “Actually…” I step out of his claws again and move along his side, running a hand lightly down the gleaming scales of his flank. The muscles of his back dip in at the shoulders, but there’s a relatively flat area that would work. “Can you spread your wings for me?”
He does so immediately with a great, leathery flap, extending his wings outward despite the confined interior of the building. As soon as he does, I run a hand along his scales again, feeling the muscles underneath, and gaze up at the spot between his wings. The place I could put a saddle is still fixed despite the unfurling of his great wings. If I set one there, it wouldn’t jostle off the moment he takes flight.
Your hand feels good, he tells me, his thoughts a low purr.
I give his hide a light smack. “Cool it. I’m trying to think.” I consider him for a moment longer and then run a caressing, persuasive hand over his scales. “Would you wear a harness if I made one?”
Would it please you? Then I would.
I smile sadly, wishing I wasn’t so torn. All he wants is to please me. How can I possibly stay mad at that? And yet, his pleasure in being constantly around me means that I’m permanently exiled from Fort Dallas.
And as long as I’m with him, Amy will suffer.
No matter what I choose—Kael or Amy, I end up losing. The thought’s a miserable one.
CLAUDIA
“You’re squirming,” I tell Kael, and bat a hand at his massive golden shoulder. “Hold still.”
The dragon gives an annoyed grunt, but he does go still. I tighten the massive leather straps crisscrossing his scales, cinch them as hard as I can, and then test them one more time. “Too tight?”
Never.
“Okay, good.” I give the straps one last pat, then step back and admire my handiwork. “Not bad, I think.”
It’s taken most of a day to come up with a harness. I’d sketched out a few ideas on a scrap piece of paper and then gone back and forth, climbing on Kael’s back to determine just how everything should hang. From there, it was a matter of finding an old stable and a saddle that had held together fairly well. From there, we’d rejiggered several of the straps, added ropes and cordage, and the end result was a riding saddle perched squarely between Kael’s shoulders and harnessed in. I even put a saddle blanket underneath the saddle itself, in case it chafed his skin. Scales. Whatever. I have reins of a sort, too. Well, they’re mostly bike handlebars, since I wouldn’t put a bit on him and I want something to hold on to. The nice thing about our telepathic link is that I can guide him with a thought instead of tugging on reins like he’s a horse.
Then there’s nothing else to fuss with. I bite my fingernails then glance over at him. “We ready to do this?”
Of course.
His confidence isn’t helping, though, because he’s always confident. “If I fall off, you’ll catch me, right?” I tighten the bungee harness at my waist and make sure the carabiner is hooked to the ropes crisscrossing Kael’s large body.
I won’t let you fall.
“Sure, sure,” I mutter, and check my waist harness one more time, just in case. If I fall, I’ll still be strapped to him, more or less. It’s a totally jury-rigged set-up, but I figure we can perfect this over time.
And then I frown to myself, because why am I thinking long term? My goal is to get back to Fort Dallas and my sister Amy. But then Kael’s big foreleg wraps around me oh-so-gently, and he pulls me in to nuzzle me with his big snout. You can do this, my mate.
I stroke his nose, feeling a rush of affection for him. “Thank you for the vote of confidence.”
He gives me a hot whuff against my neck, which is the dragon-form equivalent of a kiss, I suppose. And it makes me smile wistfully. When had anyone (other than Amy or Sasha) been so totally focused and devoted to my happiness and care? Even with Amy and Sasha, it’s not the same. We look after each other because we’re family, and that’s what family does.
With Kael, it’s different. So many things are.
I’m torn once more, but now’s not the time to worry about it. I need to quit stalling and get things moving. So I let him pull me closer, and I use his leg to clamber onto his back, sliding into the saddle rather messily. I wiggle into place, gripping the handlebars, and then begin to tie down additional Velcro straps to my legs that I rigged for ‘just in case.’ Being on Kael’s back is broader and a bit wobblier than I expected, and it’s making me even more nervous than before. He’s not used to having a rider. What if he forgets I’m back here?
I won’t forget, he vows. And if you fall, I will catch you. No harm will come to you, my Claudia. I would die first.
Somehow, I know that is the truth. I reach out and stroke a hand along the scales of his neck, and I can feel the heat through them. “I know. I’m just a little worried, that’s all. I’m sure it’ll be fine with time.” I put my hands back on the handlebars and suck in a deep breath. “Okay, let’s give this a whirl.”
Before I can tell him to take things slow, Kael shoots into the air like a cannon. I let out a shriek of surprise as my butt lifts from the saddle, despite all the strapping-in I’ve done, and then thumps back into place a moment later. I cling to the handlebars, but they don’t feel like enough.
But then, Kael extends his wings out to glide, and we get caught on an updraft. Suddenly, we’re soaring high through the skies, and I’m on dragon-back instead of dangling from dragon-claw and…it’s breathtaking. I stare out in wonder at the spread of the city below, the ruins covered in creeping greenery. Birds flick past us, unafraid, as we fly. The sight of them makes me laugh in delight, and my ponytail streams wildly around my face and into my eyes. I shake my head to try to get it out of my eyes, but that doesn’t work so well. I need a braid, I think. Or a hat.
And then a bug flies into my eye, and I shriek again, clawing at my face. Adding goggles to that list, too.
I can feel Kael’s amusement as we soar, sailing leisurely through the skies. Are you all right?
I am, I tell him, once I’ve wiped my eyes a million times. The wind makes them wet with tears, but it doesn’t stop me from staring around in wonder. I feel so…powerful like this.
You like this much better, I can tell.
“I do,” I call out, but my words get eaten away by the wind. No wonder his people are telepaths. I try again. I do. I feel less like a victim and more like a participant. This is fun.
And you are strapped in solidly? Your seat is good?
I keep one hand on the handlebars and give the straps on my legs a few experimental tugs. I think I’m anchored well enough—
The breath chokes out of me when he does a flip in the air, and we go upside down for a brief, horrifying moment. OHMYGODKAEL!
We right a second later, and I can feel the rumble of amusement in him. I shake a fist helplessly at the air. You jerk. You jerk! You scared the crap out of me!
Why? I told you I would not let you fall. But now that you are as close to my skin as one of my scales, I no longer have to worry about your safety nearly as much.
Just about me losing bladder control, I tell him sourly, but I can’t stay mad. This is too much fun.
Shall we keep going?
For once, I’m not desperate to get out of the air and to land. Yes, let’s. I’d love to see more of the city.
Then on we go.
And we bank heavily to one side, turning, and head off into the horizon.
27
CLAUDIA
We fly for at least an hour or two, leisurely gliding over parts of the city I haven’t seen since the Rift opened and humanity went bust. There are suburbs (overgrown), length upon length of highway (overgrown), and lots and lots of charred areas where it’s clear that dragons have come through. I see
one fairly intact tall building on the outskirts that I’d love to explore. It even has an old helipad for Kael to easily land on, and it might make a better ‘lair’ for us than the old office building we’ve currently claimed. Out farther in the city, there are a lot more promising scavenge buildings, too. I’ve seen herds of horses and cattle, wild dogs roaming the streets far below. They all scatter at the sight of a dragon hovering overhead.
We even saw a red dragon off in the distance. I’d panicked a little at the sight of it, because I feel vulnerable perched on the ridge of Kael’s shoulders. But the red flew away, completely uninterested in us.
She smells me with my mate, he tells me, so she is not interested.
Funny how simply being with Kael has turned into the ultimate safety net in this strange place our world has become. Once, I would have been terrified at everything I’m seeing, but now it’s just mildly interesting. Nothing can hurt me. Not now, not while I’m with Kael.
I reach out and caress his scales with one wind-chapped, cold hand. Gloves, I think idly. I need gloves next time. As much as I worked, I’m still not prepared for riding dragon-back. Clearly there’s more gear needed than I’d thought.
Still…I’m on freaking dragon-back! How awesome is that? We can fly so far. I’d never be stuck behind the walls at Fort Dallas again, forced to co-exist with a bunch of criminals and obey the militia simply because it’s not safe to be alone. With Kael at my side, I don’t have to worry about that. We can go anywhere. We could go to the western seaboard and see if old California is as destroyed as Texas. Who knows, maybe we could even fly to Hawaii. I used to love the beach. I wonder how long flying across the ocean would take and if there are any dragons on the islands.
Of course, I’d have to find a way to get Amy on dragon-back without scaring the shit out of her. And Sasha, too. I wouldn’t leave them behind—
