He finally gets off me. “I’m glad to see Adam wasn’t lying when he said you were a virgin. I would have paid top dollar for you. Adam, however, gave you to me for free.”
He laughs and walks out of the room, slamming and locking the door. Tears are falling from my eyes, but no sounds are coming out. I’ve lost more than my virginity tonight; I’ve lost myself, what little I had left from years of being told I was never good enough. Now I know, I am never going to be good enough. I am now trash, dirty and used. No one will ever love me; no one.
I stay lying in the position the senator left me in for the whole night and most of the next day, until my guard comes in and makes me take another bath. Again, he humiliates me by ejaculating on me.
8
Avery
My days begin to blur. I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but I can tell by the light coming through the cracks in the windows when the senator will be back. He comes twice a week, and each time it gets worse; he starts to beat me and violently rape me over and over again. There isn’t anything he doesn’t do or any hole he doesn’t take. I become so numb to the pain, there’s nothing left but a shell of the girl I used to be.
It isn’t long before my guard starts to rape me, too. He enjoys the torture as much as the senator, but he never hits me; he leaves that for the senator. I am even asked by the senator if my guard is raping me. He tells me if he is, he will find me someone else. He doesn’t want anyone else having me. I don’t tell him; I’m scared to because the next man could be worse, and I can only handle what I am already dealing with.
It gets so bad, I just want to die. I beg to die every day. I stop eating altogether until the guard takes notice and starts to force feed me. The only way I can handle the hell that is now my life is to live in a comatose state. I even quit fighting; there is no reason to. He always wins, and he gets off on fighting. So, I lay here, giving up, allowing him to do whatever he wants. Even when he’s hitting me, I just lie here and take the abuse. I can’t even cry anymore. Tears stop falling, and I wait for the day when he will finally kill me. I pray he will end it soon. He even comes close one night when he breaks one of my ribs. I lost consciousness, thinking this is it. I felt the bone break, and I hoped it had punctured my lung, but I wake up through the pain with him on top of me. He's still fucking me even though I passed out. This man is the vilest person I could ever imagine.
As the days keep passing, I can tell the senator is starting to get tired of me. He continues to try to get me to put up a fight, but I don’t have it in me to care anymore. I think if maybe he grows tired enough of me, he will finally end it; that is the only thing I look forward to anymore. The day it will all end.
That is, until they bring her. This is the first time anything has piqued my interest. I overhear two men talking about the woman they brought in. They say she’s going to be fun. This, for some reason, gives me life.
The thought of them doing this to another innocent girl is a new pain I’ve never felt. It gives me a purpose. I don’t know who she is, but I want nothing more than to protect her. I start screaming and crying for the first time in a very long time. I begin a mission to get their attention. Maybe I can take her suffering away if I offer the senator the fight he so desperately wants.
I scream so loud and so much, it brings the guard into my room.
“I see you have fight left in you. Let’s see what we can do about that.”
I fight and scream my way through it, just trying to keep his attention off the new girl. It’s brutal, but he doesn’t go to her. He finishes with me, and he’s done for the night. I just pray it will work with the senator.
The next day, I hear the two men again; they’re talking about him coming tonight. They also mention someone else is expected the following day. I figure the change of having two guards is because there are two of us now. But why would someone else be coming, and when?
I hear the girl talking through the wall. She asks me who I am repeatedly, but I don’t answer. It doesn’t matter anymore who I am; that girl doesn’t exist anymore.
I continue to scream and kick at the door, but they never come back. At least I don’t think they will touch her, not at least until the senator has her first.
When I hear the senator through the wall, my fear kicks into overdrive. Please don’t touch her, please. I scream more, as loud as I can to gain his attention. I’ll give him a fight, but I never get the chance.
I hear him yell out, “Shut that bitch up!”
My guard enters, punches me in the face, and I black out. I wake to ruckus; it sounds like a fight, and then I hear the other girl yelling out for help. After ten minutes or so, my door is kicked open and I immediately crawl to the corner like a scared animal. I look up at a massive man standing in the doorway. He yells out to whoever is in the house. Next thing I know, there are now three men in the room with me. One of them is down on the floor at my feet, trying to get me to calm down. He’s talking, telling me something, but I can’t hear him. I don’t hear anything; all I know is I have to fight. I start throwing my arms, trying to hit him. Then a woman is now kneeling beside me.
She grabs my arms and tells me, “Avery, I’m Fallon. I was the one in the other room.” How does she know my name?
That’s all I heard. I see her lips moving, but I can’t understand anything else she says. All I know is she’s safe and I need to be with her. She slowly stands with me in her arms. I can’t even look around; all I look at are her eyes as she leads me through the house and puts me into a vehicle. I look down at her and see she is fully clothed, then I look down at myself; all I have on is a thin blanket I was given the first night I was brought here. My clothes have long been gone, ripped from my body, and now I used this blanket as my shield to cover my nakedness. Embarrassment floods through me. She and those men rescued me, but how am I supposed to live out in civilized society anymore?
I jump as I hear gunshots; one, then two go off in the house. I’m scared the guards killed my rescuers, but then I see a man walk out of the house. He is not one of the guards, then he’s followed by another. They get in the vehicle, and without a single word we take off. I fall asleep next to Fallon while she rubs my hair. I actually dream again, but this dream is new. I see Liam and hear him calling out to me. I hear him telling me he’s here to help me and he’s going to get me home. I know that can’t be true; I haven’t seen Liam in years. Then my dream changes to Adam and him trying to kill me. I can’t go home. Not now, not ever. I wake screaming and crying. Fallon continues to try to calm me, and I slowly drift off again.
9
Liam
Now sitting in the vehicle heading home I think about how I haven’t seen Avery in years, but seeing her like that did something to me; I went insane with rage. How could someone mistreat a girl so innocent and pure? Avery was always a little off socially, but she was smart and more beautiful than she even knew. I loved her once, and I still do. Enough that I killed the motherfuckers who touched her. I took two lives and never blinked an eye till they were dead, and I would do it again.
It’s killing me that she didn’t respond to me. I called out her name and even told her mine in case she didn’t recognize me, and still she fought to get away from me. It took Fallon to calm her. Is she that traumatized, or is it that she still hates me?
After this, I know my sweet Avery will never be the same; to see her like this is the worst thing I could have ever witnessed. I would rather suffer myself than imagine what they must have done to her. I need to help her any way I can. I need her to be whole again. This I vow: Avery will be Avery again, no matter what I have to do.
She wakes screaming from a nightmare while in the arms of Fallon. I turn to look as I watch Fallon soothe her down again. I wish it was me. I would give anything right now to feel Avery in my arms again.
I’m going to have to be cautious and patient with her now. I can’t push her. I will have to learn to watch her carefully but not touch.
W
e pull into our driveway finally. Vin and I exit the car while Fallon wakes Avery and tries to convince her to get out of the SUV. Vin opens the back door for them, but still, Avery refuses to get out. She looks up and stares at me like it’s finally hitting her who I am. I give her an understanding look, although I know I understand nothing. I should’ve beaten those men instead of putting a bullet through their heads. I should have taken their lives with my bare hands.
Avery never releases eye contact with me as she exits the vehicle. We are in sync with each other, and everyone around us gets drowned out. That is, until I hear my mother running out of the house.
Avery
Oh, my God, it’s Liam; it was Liam I dreamt about, and it was him back at the house trying to calm me...it was him. I see his eyes, and I see the pain he feels for me. He’s calling to me without saying a word. I get out of the vehicle never losing eye contact, then I see a woman and a man running out of the house towards us. It’s Catherine Stern. She hugs Fallon, then she sees me. She mentions something about my mother, but it doesn’t register. It’s then she goes to hug me, and I flinch. I can’t handle being touched right now, maybe never.
Catherine starts to cry, making me wonder why she’s so concerned with me. I can remember my mother saying Catherine was heartless.
“Come, child. I won’t hurt you. I promise you are safe with me. My sons will never allow any man to ever hurt you again. I’ll make sure of it.”
I want that. I want to be safe, and I feel Catherine is sincere, so I allow Fallon to pull me into her arms, then we follow them into the house.
I turn, looking over my shoulder to see Liam right behind me. Still, with his eyes on me, I feel the weight of his stare, so I turn back around; I’m not able to handle him right now either.
When we go upstairs, Catherine tries to separate me and Fallon, but I can’t let her; Fallon is the only person I trust right now. I begin to panic until Catherine agrees to let us stay together. She brings us to a bedroom and tells us the doctor will be here in a few minutes.
When the doctor enters, he begins to check on Fallon until she insists he check on me first. As he slowly walks toward me, I start to freak out; I don’t want to let him near me. I scream out and throw my arms, hitting him.
Then I feel arms around me, holding me tight, and someone whispers in my ear, “I have you, baby. I have you. I won’t let anyone hurt ever again. I promise.”
Then the room goes black.
10
Liam
I had no choice. I know she doesn’t want anyone touching her, but she needed to be checked out by the doctor. I heard her screaming from outside the room. I ran in to see Avery fighting with what little strength she had left, for him not to touch her. My heart broke, but right now I need to be level headed like Gabriel always says, and like she needs me to be. So, I flew into action. I grabbed her from behind and whispered in her ear. I promised I wouldn’t let any harm come to her, and I won’t ever. I gave the doctor just enough time to sedate her. Once her body fell limp in my arms, I laid her down and covered her exposed body. With anger boiling at seeing her body colored black and blue, I left the room as fast as I could.
I need to take more aggression out, so I wined up downstairs in our gym, hitting the punching bag with my bare knuckles until they bleed.
I look up and see Theo standing with his hands in his pockets, watching me.
“What do you want?”
“I came to check on you.”
I chuckle. “Why?”
He shrugs. “Can’t I be concerned? A lot has gone on in the last couple days.”
I nod. “I know her.”
“I know, Liam. Your mother told me you two went to school together, but she said you weren’t friends.”
I laugh at that. “Mother thinks she knows everything, but that’s not always the case.”
“Then tell me, Liam.”
I think about telling him how I felt about her, or how I still feel, but I decide to change the subject.
“I killed those men today. I shot them in their heads while I looked them straight in their eyes.”
“I see. And how does it make you feel?”
“Like I want to do it all over again, but this time with my bare hands.”
“You know, Liam, there are good reasons to kill, and I would say, boy, this was one of those times. You know there are men out there who do way worse than men like us can even fathom. So, if you killed someone who hurt somebody you care for, then I say it was worth it.”
Theo walks closer. “Do you care about her, Liam? Is that why you killed them? Was it for her?”
“No.” Even as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. I can’t believe after all this time, I still deny how I’ve always felt about Avery.
Theo starts shaking his head. “You just lied to me boy. I’ll allow it only once, but you can’t hide that look you have. You look like a man tormented by the fact that he couldn’t protect someone he loves.”
He’s right. I failed her in the worst way. I should have never denied her all these years. I feel a tear slip down my face, and I quickly wipe it away. I don’t want Theo seeing me cry.
He pats my back. “Son, all men cry sooner or later. Don’t ever feel bad about crying over the woman you love. I myself have cried many times over the woman I love, and I’m not ashamed to tell you. That being said, tell anyone else, though, and we will have a problem, got it?”
Chuckling, I say, “Yeah, Theo, I understand.”
He gestures to my hands. “Liam, show me your knuckles.”
I show him. He nods and starts to walk away, then stops and turns back around.
“Liam, that girl upstairs is suffering in a way we will never be able to understand. If you plan on being there for her, you better make sure it’s what you want. Because you will walk through hell before you’ll get her through it. You better hit that bag some more; it’s time for you to get your hands dirty.”
He leaves me alone, and I start hitting the bag again. He’s right; it’s time to grow up and be the man Avery always needed. It’s also time to be the man my family needs. From now on, my hands will stay dirty.
11
Catherine
I had the doctor come in to check on Fallon. I never expected to see Avery get out of that vehicle. She looked like she’s walked through hell, abused and distraught. But the minute I went to touch her, she flinched and I knew, I saw it in her eyes. I knew what that son of a bitch did to her. I couldn’t help the tears that slipped down my face. That poor girl, that sweet, beautiful girl will never be the same. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I need to call her mother, but I know Margaret. She won’t be able to handle what she’ll see, and I honestly don’t think Avery could handle her right now. I remember the way Margaret talked down about her daughter to me, right in front of her child. I was disgusted by the woman’s lack of concern for her daughter’s feelings. If I called Margaret and she came here with that same attitude, it would kill Avery even more, and I would want to kill the bitch. I decide I’ll wait. Avery’s sedated right now, but when she’s able, I’ll ask her what she wants.
I asked the doctor to run tests on both the girls, and finding out Fallon is pregnant with my and Laura’s grandchild fills me with so much love. But then he tells me Avery had an implant of birth control planted in her upper arm. The pregnancy test he ran came back negative, but the STD tests won’t be back for about a week. I pray the tests are negative, too. She is going to have so many scars on the inside that will never heal, and she doesn’t need any more to add to her suffering.
The doctor tells me he’ll be back in the morning and Avery should sleep throughout the night. I thank him and walk him out. Needing a few minutes to myself, I walk into my office. I can’t allow myself to break down, not now. I must be strong for my family and for the girl. Deep breaths in and deep breaths out, regaining some of my composure, I sit in my chair and close my eyes.
I hear the door open and close.
My eyes open to see Theo.
I tell him, “I didn’t know you were still here.”
“Of course I stayed. I knew you were going to need me.”
“Theo, not now. I can’t. I’m barely keeping it together as it is.”
“I know, baby. That’s why I stayed; you need me, and I’ll always be here for you.”
Hearing his words and knowing he means them allows me to break down. He is the only person I have ever been able to be vulnerable with, the only one who has seen every part of me. He knows my strengths and my weaknesses. Like a warm blanket, I feel his arms come around me as he lifts me and carries me to the couch. Uncontrollably, all my tears fall, knowing he is my safety. He sits on the couch, holding me on top of him, letting me cry into his neck and shoulder.
“Oh my God, Theo, it’s like all my nightmares are all rushing back. That girl, Theo, you know what he did. I don’t know if I can relive it all again.”
“Baby, look at me.”
I do. I look into his blue eyes and see my true love, older than we use to be, but still always my love.
“Katie. My sweet Katie.” He lays his hands on the sides of my head and starts kissing my tears away.
I let out a small giggle. “You’re the only one who calls me sweet or Katie.”
“That’s because I’m the only one who’s ever seen your sweet side, and you will always be my Katie. I really don’t want Catherine sitting in my lap right now, but Katie will always have a leg to rest on.”
I lay my head back down on his shoulder, loving the feel of security his arms have always given me.
“Katie, listen to me. I need you to help that girl upstairs.”
I interrupt him. “I am, Theo. I had the doctor check her out, and I’m going to help her parents any way I can.”
Art of Forgiveness Page 4
