by W. A. R.
Derek, Brian, and George stepped towards her, obviously in agreement with her statement. They stared around the room apologetically, sadly.
Buddy turned his pleading stare to Miles, who by then stood next to Jackson. “Talk to them. Please…we can’t stay here.” He begged of him and Miles placed his hands firmly on his hips, closing his eyes. He knew that he was going to regret the words before they even came out of his mouth.
“I’m not sure.” He said and he could feel Amber and Brian turn their eyes to him, questioning him.
“Not sure about what exactly?” Buddy demanded, tensing up once more and Miles sighed, snapping his eyes open at the man. Though he wanted nothing more than to ram his fist into Buddy’s jaw again, he couldn’t disagree with him; and yet still, he couldn’t say that the others were wrong either. He was torn between both sides.
“I’m not sure about all of this. I mean, this morning the vote was split and then we all had time to think, to consider… we haven’t even had another vote to see where everyone stands. We have discussed all options…” He began, rubbing the back of his neck in apprehension. “Sure, there may be people out there watching us at this very moment, but then again, they are right too. We don’t know if there is anyone out there. If they were watching us, I would think that they would have taken their chances and attacked by now.”
“Exactly.” Katie agreed with him and he shook his head. “There is no knowing. We need to stay.”
“No.” he growled at the woman. “None of you are listening. We don’t know for sure or not if they are out there, just like we don’t know anything about the place in Bastrop.” He then scanned the room, every face, with his tired brown eyes. “And then there are the kids, Jackson, Bobby-Jean, Rick…I am not entirely sure what we should do. But whatever it is that we decide, we should do it all together. That’s what makes us strong. So please, stop all the damn fighting about who is right and who isn’t. There is no right answer because we have never been here before.”
Brian sighed and Jackson placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I couldn’t have said it better.” He told Miles, and though he felt Buddy’s anger and then Amber’s unsure gaze on him, he felt a small bit of pride. Jackson was the father that Miles had always longed for. His own father, while not abusive, was simply never there; his mother either, for that matter. His eyes wondered over to Bobby-Jean, who nodded at him approvingly. He bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from smiling at her. Finally, after much hesitation, he turned back to Amber and for just a moment he felt that everything was right. She was offering a small smile to him, one that he gladly returned.
“Miles is right. We should take a vote, see where we stand and go from there. By a show of hands, who thinks we should take our chances and go?” she asked, crossing her arms easily across her chest. Miles scanned the room, watching as Shelly, Buddy, Damien, Bobby-Jean, Jackson and Elva Jo lifted their arms, their hands stiff in the air. Amber nodded, assessing each and every one of their faces.
“And who thinks we should take our chances and stay?” Brian asked, effectively raising his hand, Amber following suit, and then slowly George, Derek, Rick, and Katie did the same. Amber dropped her hand to her side, sighing. “So six wish to stay and six wish to go.” He said, more of a statement than a question. Miles furrowed his eyebrow in curiosity. It was so evenly divided that it was startling.
“Miles, you never raised your hand. What do you think?” he heard Derek ask, and Miles turned his head to see Derek’s dark eyes settled on him curiously. Miles grit his teeth, feeling all eyes fall on him. It was unsettling, to say the least.
“I guess you are our tie breaker, man.” George told him calmly, leaning against the wall behind him. Miles sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding everyone’s stares. He closed his eyes, losing himself in thought. What could he say? He knew what his answer was. And once he gave it, he knew that he was going to lose the respect of some while gaining the respect of others. He slowly opened his eyes and avoided everyone but Amber. He searched her eyes for answers, as if she would tell him what to do, if his decision would be the right one. Her face softened, and he knew she understood. She quirked an eyebrow at him. Damn, but did he adore her, admire the woman she was. Be honest, her look told him. And he nodded, understanding what that look meant and he finally gathered the nerve to look at everyone; his family. It was a warm feeling; protective with a sense of belonging.
“I feel…I think we should try…ugh…” he began, irritated at his own speech. He turned to Brian excitedly, catching him by surprise. “Ok, look… we need to leave. Together.” He stated, looking pointedly at Amber who frowned. “I feel that is the better option. But…well…you suggested checking out the place in Bastrop right? What if that is all we do on the run instead of taking stuff there too. We check it out, see how it is and if it is safe, we come back and get everyone else. It is the only way we can ensure everyone’s safety instead of staying here and waiting for a fight or rushing to find sanctuary in a place we don’t know.” He said, turning and catching the uncertain stares from everyone in the room; everyone but Buddy. Buddy stood off to the side, his eyes narrowed into slits as he threw metaphorical daggers at Miles. No one said a word as they considered everything that he had said. He ran an exasperated hand through his hair and sighed. His back was aching from the tension and he wished to alleviate the pain. The sudden feel of a body next to him startled him and he turned to see Amber standing shoulder to shoulder. Though she didn’t look at him, he knew what was going on in that gentle mind of hers and it brought him a sense of comfort.
“Well…” Amber began, trying to choose her words wisely. “Looks like I’m overruled. Though I would rather stay…I agree with Miles.” she said slowly, supporting his suggestion. “It’s the best chance we have if we can’t stay. I suggest we follow through with the plan Brian and George came up with this morning with a few alterations. We should still go on the hunt tomorrow, and then do the run in what…two days’ time?” she asked, and Miles nodded at her in assurance. “This way we can sort everything out. Killing two birds with one stone.” She said and reluctantly murmurs of agreement were heard throughout the room. Miles felt relieved and Amber released the breath she had been holding.
“Everyone agree to this? It is the best option we have.” Brian asked of everyone and vaguely they either nodded or verbally agreed. Everyone, again, except Buddy, whose stare, while no longer angry, was lost on the closeness of the two of Amber and Miles. His eyes then flicked to Miles, as if feeling Miles’s stare burning through him.
“Fine. It’s better than nothing I guess.” Buddy grumbled before easing back towards the center of the room. Miles understood that all of the hostility that seemed to be present in the room all stemmed from fear, and he couldn’t blame any of them. Hell, he was frightened as well, but what could they do to alleviate that fear aside from approaching the problem head on as best they could without endangering their people. Brian crossed his arms across his broad chest.
“So…hunting tomorrow…who wants to go?” he asked and Miles noticed quite a few hands aside from his own that shot up. They needed the food, and quite frankly, the more land that they covered, the better the chances of having food. Not to mention, it could only serve in searching for any other signs of life. Brian counted the hands, thought for a moment, and then began speaking again. “We will go in pairs to ensure safety. We can use guns and bows, and afterwards, just stay on top of the amount of Biters that will come in response to the gunfire. Reversely, if it draws the attention of others, then we can flush them out as well, if they are close by. It could help give us a few answers. The pairs will be like this: Shelly and I, Buddy and Miles, George and Amber, Dad and Damien. Katie, Rick, Derek, Mom, Elva-Jo and the kids will all stay here.” Miles smirked to himself, knowing both why Brian was pairing him with Buddy and what he would do with that time alone with him. He watched as Brian’s eyes then settled on Bobby-Jean. “Should anything happen, find a
ny way possible of letting us know. We will be right back.” Bobby-Jean nodded without saying a word.
George spoke up then, and Miles was sure that the man was simply ready to get the day over with. “Hands for the run?” Immediately, several more hands went up and Brian studied the faces of the hands that he saw, shaking his head. Miles and Amber had not lifted their hands in response, wishing to stay at the house, not wanting to leave the kids.
“Guys, that group is going to be really small. Personally, I think Shelly, Miles, Damien, and I should go.” Miles lifted his eyebrow in surprise, feeling his heartbeat quicken at the thought of being separated from Amber; leaving her to defend herself. Brian saw this and continued both apologetically and assuring. “I am not letting Shelly out of my sight, Damien knows where this place is, and Miles….” He paused turning to his friend. “simply put, I trust you to have my back. The rest of you will stay here in case anything happens. George…I trust you as well to do whatever I would need you to do.” He raised his eyebrows at George, who only nodded at his statement. Things were silent for a moment and the tension seemed to ease out of the room. “I guess that’s all until the hunt in the morning. We will be up before dawn to get ready. Right now, I think we should just all get some rest…if we can.” Brian suggested, and everyone began filtering out of the room or even making themselves comfortable to sleep for the night. Amber left Miles’s proximity and began towards the smaller group of Buddy, Derek, George, Damien, and Brian that had gathered in the foyer. Miles followed her, already sure of what the discussion was about.
“Who wants to take first watch?” Brian asked them all and Amber spoke up.
“I will. I have some pent up energy I can’t seem to shake from this morning.” She told them all softly stretching her shoulders. Miles watched as her back slightly arched with the motion, and he felt a flame inside of him ignite. He tamped it down quickly.
“I’ll go with her.” Miles offered, getting an off-handed glare from Buddy and concerned looks from the others.
Brian shook his head. “Miles, you and Derek were on watch for the better part of last night. You need some rest.” And Miles felt as if he were defeated. Yes, he was tired, but mentally, his mind was running full speed and he wasn’t going to be able to sleep, regardless of whether or not he went with her or not.
“I’ll go.” Buddy then suggested, and Miles felt a fury build up within his chest. He watched the man as all eyes turned to Amber. Yes, it was her decision, he thought bitingly and he knew what her response was going to be, regardless of their slight tiff mere minutes before.
She shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t mind. I need to talk to him anyways.” She said on a small smile and Miles felt his muscles tense. He stood resolutely still, biting back the urge to tell Buddy he couldn’t go with her. He didn’t trust Buddy as far as he could throw him. He was brash, hot-headed, and vague about himself; not to mention the amount of attention that the man seemed to show Amber and the heated glares he threw at Miles. But, he knew that they would force him to rest, and Amber...she was a grown woman who could make her own decisions. Still, he wondered what she needed to tell the man; what they would be talking about. Was he jealous? Yes, absolutely; and every second that ticked by only served to make it even more so.
“In that case Damien and I will take second watch.” George offered, and everyone seemingly agreed before dispersing. Amber checked her knives and gun, mumbling to herself before turning to follow Buddy out of the door. Miles quickly caught her arm, and she turned to look at him. It was a rash action, one he hadn’t thought out. Her upturned face was shadowed by the dimness of the foyer, her eyes sparkling against the light of the fire in the living room.
“What’s wrong?” she asked him, and instead he heard her previous question from earlier in the day. What scares you? He swallowed and shook his head, releasing her arm. He needed to talk to her, to tell her the answer to that very question, to address the past month of avoidance since he had uttered words that change their entire dynamic, but not then; not in front of others. Why had it even come to his mind? He knew why, he realized as he glanced up at the door to see Buddy standing there watching the two of them with scrutiny. He swallowed back whatever he was going to say, deciding to discuss it at a later time.
“Nothing…just…nothing.” He finally stated, receiving a curious look from her as his hand slid from her arm despondently. He went to turn towards the room where Damien and George had gone…Amber’s room…their room, when he felt Amber gently touch his shoulder. He turned to face her and when he did, he instantly felt her arms wrap around his neck. For a brief moment he was surprised. He pulled her close, relishing in the feel of her.
“Get some rest. I’ll be alright.” She whispered against his ear and he closed his eyes on a sigh. “After the day we have had…the day you have had, you needed this.” She told him, tightening her embrace only slightly. She knew him all too well. And briefly, he longed to hear her say those three words…to hear her express her love for him. But he understood that the circumstances weren’t right for that or if she even felt that way at all; hell, he had only told her that one time. Slowly, she pulled away, looking at him for assurance that he was calmer and he smiled warmly, nodding. She returned the smile before turning towards the front door where Buddy awaited her presence. Miles watched until they disappeared into the night. He considered following the two of them, just as a precaution, but thought better of it. That would do nothing but stir up trouble and feed into his paranoia; besides, it wasn’t as if Buddy had actually done anything to merit such a watchful eye on him. Maybe, he thought, he should go rest. He sighed, walking over to close the front door, when he heard Amber’s soft voice in the distance, and Buddy’s light-hearted laugh. No, he would be getting no rest at all until she was safely back in his arms (if that were possible) and away from Buddy.
Chapter Twenty Eight
He lay there, hours later, listening to the steady sounds of George and Damien breathing. They all lay on the floor, Miles stretched out in the corner furthest from the door. His hands were folded together beneath his head, and his eyes studied the ceiling intently. Things were changing. Again. He wasn’t exactly sure how to handle everything. He wished that there was some paradise where he could go; he would grab Amber, Kyle, Cassie, and Elliot and run, hoping that everyone else followed. He sighed softly. If only; but, no place like that existed, at least not anymore. He mentally groaned, attempting to accept everything occurring around him. Tomorrow would be the hunt and the day after that would be the run. The very real possibility of a grim future spanned before them and he couldn’t shake the haunting feeling that settled in his gut. He sighed, knowing he should be getting some rest while he could, but the thought of Amber being alone in the night with Buddy grated on his nerves. After the hostility that the man had shown absolutely everyone, he doubted him. Miles had reached a point where he was assuming he had ulterior motives for all of his harsh words and actions and the thought didn’t settle well with him.
The hollow sounds of footsteps came and he knew that it was shift change. He felt a surge of relief at this realization and closed his eyes, feeling how very tired his body was and how tense his muscles had been as he lay there in wait. He shifted on the blanket easily, burrowing himself deeper into the darkness. If Amber knew that he hadn’t slept, he was sure he would get a dirty look and a good cussing. A small smile crossed his lips. Even through all of the bullshit that was life now, she was still there. She never turned from him, and in retrospect, he realized that she never had. Though, with life as it was, he still wondered how they came together, the memories playing back how it had all happened like different chapters of the same movie. It amazed him and frightened him all at once how miraculous it was.
The sound of boot clad footsteps sounded outside the door and he heard the doorknob turn. With ease, the bright LED light of a flashlight filled the room as the door eased open. He couldn’t tell who was holding the light, but he knew w
ithout a confirmed sighting. The light skimmed over George and Damien sleeping forms before it lowered. He could hear every movement she made in the silence. That was one thing she was good at, he thought. She was very quiet on her feet; it gave her a benefit when hunting; a benefit that many others didn’t have.
“George?” she called out softly to him, a whisper against the cool night. He heard her as she gently roused George from his slumber. She clicked off the light before he could open his eyes, taking his tired eyes into consideration.
“Amber?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep. Miles could practically feel the small smile that graced her lips.
“Yeah.” She replied softly. “It’s your turn now. Damien.” She said softly and he heard as she rustled the other sleeping man in the room. Quiet, reserved Damien; the boy slowly came to. George moved into sitting position, reaching for his shoes that he had left beside his head.
“Hmm.” Damien issued through his sleepy state, rolling from his side and easing up. “It’s time for us, huh?” he asked her thickly, trying to speak lowly.
“Yeah.” She replied and she shifted on her feet, adjusting her knees to be more comfortable in the position she was in. “There were some Biters out there, but nothing out of the norm.” she said. She sounded so tired and it tore at Miles’s heart. George and Derek began putting their shoes on and positioning their knives and guns.
“Are you alright?” George asked her as low as he possibly could and almost instantly he could feel her eyes settle on his motionless figure in the dark. He felt as if she were assessing him, determining whether or not he were really asleep or not. She wasn’t sure if he was, and he understood that and yet still, she didn’t seem to care. He felt his body go taut as he awaited her response.
“I’m not sure George. I feel like everything is just…I don’t know.” She admitted, turning her focus to the ground before her. They all easily stood, Damien stretching his tired limbs. Miles resisted the urge to move and stretch his own stiff muscles.
